Hey! I hope you guys had an epic weekend because I did. And like a half hour ago my sister puked, talked on a phone, then handed me the phone... and after I used it she told me she had puked. Lovely, right? I'm expecting mass upchuck at any second now. XD Anyways, OMG THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! IT MADE MY FREAKIN DAY! I WAS LIKE "HOLY SHIT ON A STICK, BATMAN!" So thank youuuuu!
really, thank you: Laveycee, I love Neville, The first Mauradette, bhuvanabi, Oneofthosepeopleonthestreet, GreenRider- Inheritance- fanatic, and Dndchk for the reviews and subscriptions! A bunch of you answered my questions about Harry Potter, specifically about the cat. And the spell thing. I hope you realize I legit don't know jack shit about Harry Potter. I don't. I've never cared enough to read it. The whole Harry Potter craze went right over my head. So yeah... I meant it- I know NOTHING.
Here's chapter 10! We made it to the double digits! Enjoy!
Chapter 10. (Double digits! I must really be a masochist to be doing this because I feel physically sick reading this but I love it.)
AN: stup it u gay fags (Whoa whoa whoa. That was uncalled for.) if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! (Spell 'fuck' right, and, maybe we can talk.)
ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!(Oh fuck this shit. Where's my duct tape? I'm taping your mouth shut.)
I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. (Bull shit.)
I was even upset went to rehearsals(What the hell happened here?) with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. (That's not a band name. It's just…. not.)
I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. (Oh Mary Sue, there you are!)
People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. (Please note this is like the only time Slipknot is ever really mentioned. HA!)
The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo (Huh? What's "Diabolo?" is that supposed to be "Diablo?" Because according to Urban Dictionary it is a yo-yo with murderous tendencies.) now.
He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.(WHY IS HE NOT GINGER.) and Hargrid.
Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. (You come to band practice though you've just been told to kill someone but they can get out of it just because they're a lil' sad? That's fucked.)
I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (Won't… rant… won't… rant… Grrrrr) (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too (So you can constantly let us know what he's wearing but the fact that he's a fucking vampire isn't important at all…) and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) (wow. Just wow.) or a steak (…Fuck this isn't even worth it. REALLY. God that's the worst. A steak. Wow.)) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. (The claymation one? That's a 'depressing movie?' …Wow.)
I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. (*coughWHOREcough*)
You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. (If you have to tell your readers "she's not a a slut" then guess what, she's a slut. It just works that way. And trying to hide that fact by saying "oh, no, no, she's not a slut" just makes us know it even more.)
(Wait was she just changing clothes in the middle of band practice?)
We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. (Yes she just changed clothes in the middle of band practice. And what happened to writing songs since two of your members are missing?)
"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.
"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. (Oh God here we go.)
And then I said. (Take this little bit out) "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! (Who's Harry? You mean Vampire? Yeah. Pick a name please.)
But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. (All those poor commas… Put into that sentence when they shouldn't be. I pity them.)
But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. (Didn't you already start crying? Dear god just stop. AND STOP KIDNAPPING COMMAS!)
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. (What is this, Nazi Germany? What's with the hiding places in walls and stuff? And I thought he was being all… cutter-ific or whatever?)
"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. (Because you would have freaked?)
"How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) (It's too late to keep them in character. Just don't bother.)
I started to cry and cry. (When did you stop crying?!)
Draco started to cry too all sensitive. (Oh god two girls crying now? These people are a mess.)
Then he ran out crying. (Just say he ran out. We already know he's crying.)
We practiced for one more hour. (He feels the love guys.)
Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! (This sentence just made me laugh.)
His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. (Because the headache is an excuse to cover your ass for the fact that you can't keep anyone in character- including your OC- to save your life.)
"What have you done!" (…Nothing.)
He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) (How do you cry wisely?)
"Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." (See she didn't do anything. He killed himself. BUT please see this reference: [I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak] and explain how the hell he died. I'd get all upset that she broke her own rule, but I'm happy he died. Yay!)
And that's chapter 10!
Worst Sentence:
Chapter 10:
"You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not."
This sentence is correct in every aspect of spelling and grammar. What earned it the title Worst Sentence, is it's complete disregard for character formation. If a character has to say "I know you think I'm a huge fucking slut, but trust me, only a small plane could fit in my vagina, so I'm not a slut" then she is a fucking slut. It doesn't work. Plus she has fucked anyone and everyone she could. PLUS she dresses like a confused whore! She's a slut. And addressing that fact, makes us not only think it, we now know it.
Well, that's the chapter 10! I look forward to hearing from you! Thanks!
~Amanda