Chapter 10 – Darkest Future
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns(1896 - 1996)
Pam was still in Eric's office trying to control this fear and the pain she was getting from Eric to no avail. Had she done wrong in sending him to rescue Sookie? She should've gone to her aid as soon as she learned she was in trouble, but she wanted Eric to see they couldn't live apart, that they needed each other to survive.
"Mister Eric," Bubba called softly from the door. Eric growled, afraid someone else would hurt his Sookie. "I think you should take her home," Bubba suggested. Bubba couldn't believe Bill had done this to Miss Sookie; he would not be Bill's friend anymore. Eric got up with Sookie in his arms and left to his house. He cleaned her body carefully and laid her on his bed. He heard and felt the exact moment Pam arrived at his house.
Pam was watching them from the doorway. "You were right, I shouldn't have left her," he said. Pam sat next to him and smoothed his hair and pressed soft kisses on his face. "Do you think she will forgive me, if she lives?" He asked.
"I don't know Eric, she is very stubborn," Pam said, hesitant, "but Master, promise me you won't leave her again. It hurts me when you two are apart. It hurts me seeing you like this," Pam demanded She knew she had to take matters into her own hands to get them together again. She couldn't stand to see them apart. She had actually considered using magic on them to bring them together, but hopefully this would work instead.
"I thought you said you were a cold-hearted bitch," he said. She smiled weakly at him.
"I am, so you must keep my secret," Pam pleaded. He gave her a small nod. Pam called Jason to let him know that Sookie was with them and that Bill had tried to hurt her. She told him she was unconscious, but that she would call him again when she was better. Jason wanted to see her, but Pam told him it was best he didn't come now. He was mad, of course, and he promised to kill them both if his sister didn't pull through.
"Stay with me. I'm afraid to wake and find her…" he couldn't even say the words. Pam understood. He didn't want to wake alone and find he had been too late to save her. They were both sitting on the bed and Pam was telling him about the first night when he met her. How he wanted her since he laid eyes on her and how he tried to glamour her, but it didn't work on her. Now he knew what glamour was, he had practiced with his human employees.
Pam related to him what happened with Longshadow and how she fought the human man who had attempted on her life. She told him he had sent her a flower arrangement. She also told him what happened in Dallas, how fierce she had been and how he had tricked her over the bullet.
"She showed me the bullet," Eric said. He took Sookie's hand and showered it with small kisses.
"She kept it?" Pam asked, curious.
"Yes, she said she kept it as a memento," Eric said. Pam laughed.
"And I am Alice in Wonderland, devious little vixen," Pam said, still laughing and shook her head. Eric stared at her confused. "She kept it, because it meant something special to her. She kept it, because she wanted you and didn't want to admit it," Pam told him.
Eric caressed Sookie's face softly, wishing her to wake already. "She is very modest, you should probably dress her," Pam sad in a warning tone. He was also naked so he took that time to put on a pair of silk pants. He pulled out a gown for Sookie and dressed her carefully and pressed sweet kisses to her body.
Through Pam, he had learned many things about his intentions towards Sookie. Pam had helped him buy clothes for her that were arranged neatly in his closet.
"She doesn't know about the house either, don't tell her," Pam warned.
"I do not understand, I bought this house for her and clothes. I have a lot of money, why can't she have it too?" Eric asked.
"She is a proud woman and very independent. She threw a fit when you gave her a cell phone and that didn't cost as much, can you imagine what she will say if she finds out you bought this house only for her, so that she could be comfortable? No Eric, you must not tell her. One night she will come to her senses, but until then you have to hide it from her," Pam said.
"It shouldn't be that way," he said.
"Then why don't you tell her about the curse?" Pam questioned.
"That is different and I told you, I don't want her to know," he said. Pam sighed knowing she wasn't going to make him change his mind.
Eric wrote Sookie a note, in case she woke during the day. Pam had asked Bobby to stock the kitchen again. Dawn finally claimed them and they both hoped Sookie would wake during the day, but she didn't.
When they rose they saw she had not moved from the spot they had left her. She was very cold. Pam turned on the fireplace and Eric sat with her on his lap and covered her with a blanket. "If she dies, she will become one of us," Pam warned him.
"How does it work?" He asked. Pam proceeded to tell him about the turning process.
"But she has not been drained," he said. He caressed her face and held her soft body against him. He kissed her rosy lips.
"No, her heart still beats, it is better than yesterday. I'm thinking the damage he caused was extensive and so it is taken her body longer to heal," Pam said.
"Who was he?" Eric asked her.
"That was Bill, her ex," Pam said. Eric tightened his hold on her, causing Sookie to moan and she moved closer to him, seeking his comfort, his safety, his strong embrace.
"Sookie," he said carefully. Her eyes opened slowly and she saw Eric's face once more, as she had prayed. She couldn't help it, she broke out in tears.
"Are you hurt?" He asked afraid. Pam moved next to him. Sookie clung to him and shook her head, but she couldn't stop crying or speak for that matter.
"I'll bring her something to eat," Pam said and left them alone.
"Forgive me," he begged her. "You were hurt because of me," he said. She cried until she felt she had run out of tears. He rubbed her back, but he was clueless what to do with her. He just wanted to take this pain away from her. After long minutes, her cries died.
"Are you hungry?" He asked her as he heard Pam downstairs trying to get her something. She nodded. She thought that after she was well he would leave her again, and her heartache returned.
"What hurts?" He asked her, not understanding this pain he was feeling from her. She just looked away from him. She didn't want to tell him how much her heart hurt.
"Can I use the bathroom?" She asked. He helped her up, but she told him she could manage on her own. What could he do to earn her forgiveness?
When she looked in the mirror she knew he had given her his blood to heal her. Her face was not swollen and nothing hurt. Why did he save her, to leave her again? She noticed the gown she was wearing and knew it wasn't hers, but it fit her well. She was taking a shower and started crying because she thought he would take her home again. But she couldn't go without talking to him first.
He seemed worried about her and though she knew she couldn't lie to him she could take advantage of this to get the opportunity she wanted with him. She knew it was going to take a long time to earn his forgiveness for what she had done, but she would do anything. She found makeup on one of the vanity tops and she applied some. She liked the black night gown, the top was lace and the rest was silk. It was long with a sexy side slit. She dried her hair and let it down in her natural small waves.
She walked slowly towards him and he smiled at her. He thought she looked very beautiful. He gave her the robe and she took it, but it didn't cover much, it was lace. He took her small hand in his and they both walked towards the kitchen, Pam was muttering non-stop.
"What is the problem, Pamela?" Eric asked.
"I do not know if she should eat this, it smells vile," she said smelling the third box she had tried to heat following the instructions. "Perhaps we should order something for her," Pam suggested. "Do you like pizza?" She asked Sookie.
"This if fine Pam, thank you," Sookie took the box from her hands. She looked in the drawers for a fork and sat at the small island, both vampires were staring intently at her.
"So what happened to Bill?" Sookie asked.
"Someone helped him escape, because I found one of his limbs on the floor. Eric went all medieval on him. I'm actually surprised he is still alive. There was no way he made it out of there on his own. When I got there, Bubba was unconscious. He was guarding Bill's body when another vampire attacked him. He didn't see this vampire so we don't know where he ran off to. Vampires in our area are looking for him, but if he wishes to keep his life, he will not come back," Pam said.
"I'm not too sure he will stay away," Sookie said, eating her chicken. She knew he was adamant about having her.
"What did he do to you?" Pam asked.
"He was upset because he couldn't enter my house. I tried to lie to him, but because of our bond he knew I was lying," Sookie said. Eric stiffened.
"You are married to him too?" He asked outraged.
"Not that I know of, you told me that we had a bond, but it wasn't as strong as ours," Sookie said, she didn't want to fight with him again telling him how he had tricked her. "Once you told me how to break the bond with him. He asked me to break my bond with you, but he doesn't know we are married and that ours can't be broken. I told him I would, but instead of saying your name while breaking the bond I used his," her tears started falling again, "he told me he would kill you and that he would make the bond with me again and turn me," she covered her eyes embarrassed that they were both staring at her, she took a deep breath.
"I told him I would never love him again and he hit me. I thought," she took deep breaths to control her pain and her tears, "that I was going to die and that I would never see you again," she cried harder, all she wanted was for Eric to hold her and tell her he would not leave her again.
Eric froze not knowing what to do. He was enraged; if he could he would break Bill's body again and again.
"I'll check on the bar," Pam said and made a gesture for Eric to comfort her, but he didn't know how to do it. "Sookie you should call your brother, you have been out for two days," Pam left leaving them alone.
Eric sat next to her and cleaned her tears away and pressed a soft kiss to her closed eyelids. "I'm sorry, you probably don't want to feel what I feel right now," Sookie said.
"If I didn't want to feel you, I could close the bond," he said. She stiffened, not sure how to feel about that.
"Oh," she said staring at her food. Eric picked up the fork and started feeding her the food. Sookie was confused at his gesture, but didn't say anything. Maybe he wanted her to finish eating so he could take her home quickly.
"You closed our bond when you left me that night?" She asked. He felt a sharp pain on his chest, as she mentioned him leaving her.
"Yes," he said almost apologetic and for the first time in Sookie's existence, she saw a guilty look on his face, something she had not experienced before.
"Then how did you know?" She asked.
"Pam asked Bubba to stay close to you. When she told me you were taken…I lost it and I opened the bond to find you. I regret what I did. I only wanted to protect you," he said. Sookie had not been able to voice her opinion because he kept stuffing her mouth with food. She would've started complaining about the Bubba part. She had not detected a void close to her, so he must have been very careful to avoid her mental radar. Interesting.
"Are you going to take me home?" She asked, once she finished her food. He seemed to think hard about something.
"Would you like to spend the evening with me?" He asked her. She was shocked to say the least. Eric was not the one to ask things from her. He smiled softly at her. "Pam has instructed me on things I have done wrong, even when I insisted I would not be with you again," He removed the dish from her and set it in the sink since Sookie was still shocked. "She threatened to curse me, again," He grabbed her by the waist and put her down.
"Did she curse you?" Sookie asked.
"Not, as far as I know," he said. Sookie wasn't too sure about that. He was acting as Eric before he was cursed, at least with her.
"Can I use your phone?" She asked. He nodded and gave her his new cell phone and though now he knew how to use it, he still found it annoying. Especially since Pam kept sending annoying messages.
Sookie called Jason and told him she was fine. "When are you coming back?" He asked her.
"I don't know, I'll call you," she said and hung up. Eric took back his cell phone and stared at her.
"I want to show you something." She accepted and followed him. On their way to what he had told her would be his library, he clasped his strong hand around her small one.
Apparently he had been busy, the room was now filled with bookshelves and boxes full of books. On one of the walls was a beautiful painting of what Sookie thought to be an enormous Viking ship. He pulled the painting open to reveal a safe. He entered some kind of code and pulled out a black velvet box. He dragged Sookie over to a small sofa in his private library and gave it to her.
"Open it," he commanded. Sookie opened the box and inside she found what she thought was the ceremonial knife Eric had used to bind them. It had a gold hilt composed of interwoven Celtic knots, much like the necklace Eric had given her. At the base, the pommel of the blade was decorated only with a red gem set into the metal, catching the light and adding to the mystical allure of the knife. The blade appeared to be double edged, but what caught Sookie's attention was the inscription on the blade.
"What does it mean?" Sookie asked Eric, hoping he would know. The script was elegant and beautiful, and lover knots were interlaced with the letters.
"This here," he pointed to one side of the blade, "is your name in old Celtic, and this," he flipped the blade over, "is mine," she was speechless for a long time.
"You ordered this blade," she gulped and her heart skipped a beat "to perform the binding ritual?" She asked, her hands shaky, and her eyes were filled with tears again.
"Yes, it is custom-made. Pam assures me I went through a great deal of trouble to have it delivered in the least possible time," He said.
"Why?" Sookie asked.
"I don't remember," Eric answered.
"No, I mean why are you telling me, why are you showing it to me if tomorrow you will send me away again?" She asked.
"I don't remember why I did this to us and Pam insists that without you I will perish, that you are part of my life whether or not we accept what I did. I tried to keep you away from my way of life, but it only ended up hurting you and I do not want that," he said seriously. He put the blade back in the box and returned back in the safe. "I never want to see you getting hurt," he assured her.
"I'm sorry we can't fix you," Sookie said. She knew an apology would not fix what she had done.
"That does not matter anymore. I'll learn what I need to learn. No one at the bar has noticed anything different about me. Pam has been teaching me how to treat the customers and my underlings. She has instructed me in the use of technology. I have also learned how to feed," Sookie almost choked at the last comment, but brushed it off. It was part of who he is, and it was important to his survival.
"It might not be important now to you, but have you considered what you lost because of me? A thousand year's worth of memories and experiences, and your past human life. All that is lost because of a stupid decision I made. One day, down the line, you will come to understand the damage I have done," she said. Yes, she wanted Eric back, but she couldn't deny what she had done, and it was best she came clean with herself and be honest to him. He deserved that much.
"You did not curse me," he said very seriously. "I want to make new memories, with you." He said holding her hands in his. "I'm more interested in my future than in my past. My life is here and now and I want you to be a part of it. I know I have hurt you and I will understand if you don't want me in your life, but I want you in mine," he said and bent down to claim her lips as he had done many times, he just didn't remember. Their lips brushed softly against each others, making their hurt recede a bit. Eric was hopeful that Sookie would accept him, since she was responding to his kiss. He still had no clue how to be with her, but he knew she would show him. Well now he had a vague idea thanks to Pam.
"Would you at least consider it?" He asked her. Sookie nodded. She wasn't ready to say yes, because of the impact her decision would have on both of their lives.
"What kind of books do you have?" Sookie asked. The rest of the night they spent looking through his books, because he wasn't even sure what kind of books he had. They both started going through the boxes and Sookie was helping him sort them and arrange them based in the subject.
"There is a book that I found find quite fascinating," he said. He pulled said book and left it on the pile for Sookie to see. She didn't pay attention, she just continued to look through the book she had found quite interesting about Viking history. Eric couldn't contain his smile as Sookie picked up the next book. She started flipping through the pages, not paying much attention to the cover page and then she stopped breathing.
"Holy, shit!" Eric chuckled; Sookie glared at Eric, but couldn't stop the sudden blush of her cheeks.
"Is there a problem Sookie?" He asked with all the innocence he could muster.
"No," she answered quickly and put the book aside. She was definitely going to spend some time going through that book, when she was alone. It was more arsenal for her tutoring lessons.
Eric knew she was lying, but he didn't say anything. Dawn was approaching and they went together to "their" room. Although Eric had already asked Sookie to stay, he wanted to reinforce his wishes. The shutters of the windows came down, letting him know he only had a few minutes.
They were both in bed now, he took her small hand and kissed her knuckles "I left Bobby's number on my desk," he said, not really wanting to "so that you can call him to pick you up," he said. His eyes were avoiding hers, intentionally. It seemed weak of him to say this to her, and though he didn't like the feeling, he continued, "but," he hesitated with the next words, he took her hand and pressed it against his cool cheek as if to warm himself, "don't leave me," it sounded like a plea "When dusk comes, I want you to be here, I want you to choose me. Stay with me," he said more softly and this time he looked into her eyes afraid she would say the words he didn't want to hear.
"Eric, how can you ask this of me, how can you still want me?" Sookie asked shocked by his pleading words from her vampire lover.
"I find…it is true what I said to you in that letter. When it comes to you I'm helpless. I cannot find the strength to let you go, hard as I try," he said his eyes once again pleading with her, to hear him and understand him, how much he wanted her, how much he needed her.
"You left me. You were mad at me and one day you will realize your mistake and be upset again, because you are like this because of me," Sookie said. In her mind she added I wouldn't be able to take more heartache if you were to leave me again.
"I wasn't mad because you killed the witch. I was not mad at you at all. I was upset because you got hurt. I should've made sure you left. I should've stayed by your side and made sure you were not harmed, instead of asking someone else to look after you," He said. Her heart swelled at his words, and she broke, crying again. "I know I made a decision for both us before, but I'm asking you now…Stay with me," he pleaded again, but he didn't hear her answer, dawn and the empty slumber took hold of him.
Sookie realized what had happened and she just inched closer to him and closed her eyes. It took her a long time to succumb to sleep, as her mind wondered and she thought of what she would make of her life, but a few hours later, her mind and body gave up on her and she too fell asleep in the arms of the only man who would ever truly love her.
A/N: What do you think Sookie decided? Will she finish her tutoring lessons next? Review...xoxo