Late night, Eli sat on the edge of a strangers bed. His feet touched the ground lightly as he stared at the wooden floor beneath him. The room was dim and filled with the faint sound of a girls breathing. His back ached with the burning marks that nails had dug, his skin was damp with a thin sheet of sweat. Smoke spilled from his lips, filling the dim room around him and clouded his mind. As he listened to the steady breathing coming from the nameless body beside him. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten there, but he didn't mind. The last thing he could remember was the sound of the Norco pills being crushed on the table in front of him, the sniffing sound and then the instant euphoria that came to be as soon as it hit. The rest of the night was a blur until he ended up where he was just then, toking on a bed in a room he'd never been in before in his life. He laid back against the head board, making sure not to shift the bed too much so he wouldn't wake whoever it was that was laying beside him. And then he heard a buzzing sound coming from the bedside table beside him and he realized it was his phone. He picked it up, reacting quickly to stop the noise and answered it before he saw the name of who it was.

"Eli?" her voice spoke softly on the other line. It was Clare.
He let out a sigh and sat back up slowly, running his fingers through his dirty hair. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time he'd taken a shower.

"What do you want?" his voice was snide in reply.

"I need you." She spoke the words and the moment she did, his heart raced in his chest. Her voice was low and he sat up straight slowly. But before he could get another word in she continued to speak, "I know you… I know what you think of me and I know you still think I'm just worthless to you but I just… I just… I need…"

"You don't need me Clare…" Eli cut her off before she could say another word. She fell silent on the other line and he sighed again, "You're better off without me."

"How could you say that?" She spoke, "You're not better off alone, no matter how badly you think you are. I just don't understand why you keep avoiding me…"

"I don't w-"

"Eli, shut up!" She raised her voice and it caught him off guard, "I just don't understand how you can try and avoid me… but… but I…" she began to stutter and her confidence faltered.

"You what?"

"I don't understand how you can say you don't care… when you look at me like you care. I've… I've never had someone look at me the way you do. Everyone else looks at me like I'm this perfect little straight and narrow girl… but you look at me like I'm so much more than that. You look at me like I mean everything… to you. You might try and act like you don't care… but I know you do. You and I, we're not so different at all…"

Eli stayed silent, glaring off into the dark in front of him. His hand held so tightly onto his phone he was surprised it didn't crack. Her words bothered him more than they should have. Because they were different. They were worlds apart and the fact that she wanted to be anything like him enraged his entire body, scorching his veins. She was sweet, and beautiful and perfect in everyone else's eyes. He was dark and worthless and had no future. He was just a mass floating around without meaning. He spent all of his time making sure of that so why in the world did this girl think that he was more? Why couldn't she just see him as everyone else did. He was sure what bothered him more was that she was partly right. He did look at her differently. Because he saw this girl with all the potential in the world, with no other want then to destroy that. He wouldn't allow himself to be the aid to her self destruction. He wouldn't be her coach to destroying her life. Deep down he knew that he wanted to be a part of her life but it was impossible. He was him, and she was her. Two completely different people, two completely different worlds apart and he didn't want to be a part of her transition to his world.

"You're wrong." he growled, not bothering to stay quiet now, "About it all."

"No, I know I'm not. You can lie to yourself all you want but I know the truth."

"Clare, you don't know shit! The only thing you know is that I'm some weird guy who can help you out with proving to mommy and daddy that you're not the little saint that they think you are. There are a million other guys out there that I'm sure would be willing help you out with that so why don't you go bother them instead of me?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe I don't want any of those other guys?" She exclaimed and again he was caught off guard, "I don't want them, I want you! You make me feel… different. You make me feel safe and you don't have any expectations of me. When I'm with you I can just be whoever I want. I don't have to keep up some façade. With you, it's okay to not be perfect and I can do things that aren't safe, and still feel safe."

He closed his eyes and let out a long drawn breath, knowing that he was going to have to be harsh yet again, "Well, have you ever thought that maybe I don't want you? How many times do I have to tell you that before you get it through your thick head? I don't need a tag along like some little lost puppy."

Her side of the line fell silent as the sting off his words hit her, and as soon as it did he felt a soft hand on his back.

"Are you going to be on the phone for the rest of the night?" the girl's voice purred in his ear and he bit his lip.

"…who's that?" Clare asked timidly and Eli sighed.

"I've got to go."

"Why?" She asked curiously now, "What are you doing?"'

"Nothing, It's none of your business."

"But Eli I need… I want… everything is just so…"

"Goodnight Clare."

"Please!"

He hung up the phone then, cutting her off with the push of a button. His heart vibrated in his chest as he rolled over to face the stranger who's voice had interrupted his conversation. Without hesitation she pressed her lips to his and her hands explored his body. His own found her hair and he indulged in the thought of the action he knew was soon to come. But though he held this girl who's name he didn't even know, though he felt her heart beat against his chest and her warm breath on his lips, his mind burned with the face of the girl on the other end of the line.

Clare stared down at her phone, unbelieving of the conversation she'd just had. It seemed like the more they spoke the meaner he got and she couldn't understand. She couldn't understand how he could treat her like that and be so… heartless. Maybe she was being stupid. Maybe he really didn't care about her. But for some reason, her mind wouldn't let her believe that. The way he looked at her… the way their eyes would catch in the hallway. Even the way he'd looked and stormed off when he'd seen her with the boy at her locker. Clare was a smart girl. She knew when a look meant something more and almost every time their eyes locked she felt it. She could tell he thought he wasn't worth it. She knew how he perceived himself but to her he was so much more. He was this boy, running away from something that kept him guarded. He did all of this to avoid confrontation and to get through life with ease but on top of that he was mysterious, and confident and for some reason she loved being around him. She loved that he challenged her, that he pushed her limits. Because everyone else saw her as this sweet girl with limitations and no will to do anything other than succeed and live a sweet normal life. She wanted more than that. She wanted fun, and adrenaline. She wanted to wake up beside this boy and not remember the previous night. She wanted find out was wrong and somehow convince him that everything was going to be okay. She wanted to show him that she cared about him as much as she knew he cared about her. But all of this was impossible when he did everything in his power to push her away. She knew he'd be annoyed. But now more than ever she needed to get away. Because the moment she'd heard the feminine voice coming from the other line, her heart panicked. She'd never felt jealousy so strongly before but at this moment it was raging through her, enabling her to stay to the spot she was in. Her hands tightened and her teeth clenched as she pushed herself from the bed with only one destination in mind.

Clare had a good memory. She'd never failed a test because she was good at remembering things, whether it was answers, things of knowledge, peoples names or… directions. The house was loud, like she assumed it always was and the lights were dimmed.

"Why are you here Clare?" she asked herself as she walked through the door, realizing then that it was too late to turn back, "You're only going to upset him… he doesn't care… remember? He doesn't want you."

Her mind tried to convince herself that it was a bad idea, but she wasn't about to leave now. Especially when her wandering eyes spotted a familiar face. There in the kitchen where she'd entered was the boy she'd met the last time she was there. Cody, she remembered that his name was Cody

"Hey, you're Eli's friend right?" he asked with a laugh and she could smell the alcohol on his breath. She nodded her head but didn't bother to reply and he smiled as he held out a cup of liquid to her. She looked down at it and then, not wanting to seem weak, she took it in her nimble fingers.

"Is Eli here?" She asked curiously as she held her cup, and watched the boy in front of hers down his own.

"Nah," he replied as soon as he'd finished it off, "Oh wait, he was earlier. He's always here. But I'm pretty sure I saw him leave with some chick."

His laughter danced around her head and she frown as she furrowed her brows and stared down at her cup. He'd left with a girl. She was sure then that the feelings she felt wasn't just from jealousy. She felt hurt. He had left with a girl. Even though he'd pushed her away many times he felt the ability to leave with this girl. Why her? Why had he rejected Clare so many times and yet he was willing to run off with a girl she was sure he didn't even know. Rejection hurt, no matter what kind it was. And then she felt it. The stupidity she should have felt from the beginning. Maybe she was wrong the entire time. Maybe the looks meant nothing. Maybe every moment actually had no meaning at all. Maybe she'd made it all up in her head and Eli and her were actually nothing and never would be. She felt the realization crash down on her and the pain took over her mind, but before she could think or even bare to allow it, she lifted the up to her lips and let it pour down her throat, coating it with warmth.

"That's what I'm talking about!" The boy Cody exclaimed as she slammed the cup down on the counter and he filled it another time. If Eli wasn't going to help her get lost in the world, she'd do it on her cups later and she looked up at Cody with heavy eyes.

"Help me forget?" she pleaded as she placed her hand against his eager eyes of his own he nodded.

"Baby I've got just what you need."

From his pocket he pulled out a little plastic bag. Inside of it were two small pills. One for her, and one for him.

"What is it?" She asked as she watched him open the bag and take one out. Memories of the night she'd spent here flooded back and the idea of feeling that way again at this moment was uplifting to her.

"E." he said and her face fell as the dark haired boy's face came flashing into to her mind.

"Can we not call it that?"

He let out a chuckle as he held it up, "We can call it whatever you like."

She lifted her hand to take it from him but he pulled it back with a smirk.

"Ah ah ah, open up."

She felt her skin crawl but at this point she was willing to do anything, so hesitantly she opened her mouth and he placed it on the tip of her tongue.

"Now swallow." he said in a way that was unsettling to Clare, but she did as he said as he took her hand and led her away.