"Last time on Total Pokémon Island," narrated Volcanion. "Both teams were forced to watch a marathon of the worst movies of all time. When Hypno dropped out before the credits to Ballistic rolled, the Criminals won the challenge. However, Hypno was lucky that she wasn't voted off. Pidgeot, who had flown out of the first movie, was sent away to Loser Island. What will tonight's challenge be? Who will take it all? Find out tonight on Total. Pokémon. ISLAND!"
Back in the Criminals' cabin, Persian couldn't get her head around Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.
"Aw man!" she said. "At least the Game Boy Advance game was better than that piece of crap."
The other females nodded in agreement.
"So, uh, what's gonna be for breakfast?" asked Emolga.
"Let's go find out, huh?" said Surskit as she gathered the rest of her team. The seven of them hurried on down to the cafeteria, where the Red Hot Chili Peppers were eating GARBAGE!
"YUM!" said Pignite. "This stuff is delicious!" Nobody agreed with him.
"YO! Chef Nidoking!" yelled Banette. "What's this stuff you're serving us?"
"You're eating out of the trash cans today, fool!" yelled Nidoking. "Try to find something that looks half-decent!"
"So, I assume this is part of the challenge," said M. He then gulped. "Here goes nothing." The human started digging through a trash can until he could pull something out.
"Ooh wee!" said Skiddo. "This tastes just like a vinyl record!"
The contestants then held their stomachs after finally finding something out of their respective trash cans.
"If you vomit out your meal, you're out of the challenge!" boomed Nidoking.
Phantump couldn't take it any longer. His cheeks started to swell as he started to float off to the confessional.
CONFESSIONAL:
PHANTUMP: This isn't even remotely edible! (vomits into the toilet)
Next off, Nidoking turned on a boom box that blasted MC Hammer's greatest hits. Scraggy started dancing like Hammer in the "Pumps and a Bump" music video, and the other campers, including Nidoking, imitated his dance moves.
"OHOHO!" yelled Nidoking. "SCRAWNY SCRAGGY IS A MANIAC ON THE FLOOR!"
After the dance party, Nidoking took the campers to the recreation center, where they were forced to write a 300-word essay about why they admire him. Emolga, M, Banette, Persian, Hypno, Scraggy, and Pignite were the only ones to complete their essays in time.
"Congratulations, you seven;" said Nidoking. "Since you maggots are the only ones to complete your essays, I'm gonna take you down to the mud."
Somebody threw something at Banette as he walked out the recreation room.
CONFESSIONAL:
BANETTE: HEY! WHO THREW AN IRON BALL AT ME?!
M: Aah! I'm weak against ground types!
PIGNITE: Huh, me too! But I like mud, though.
"This here obstacle course is gon' be your next challenge," explained Nidoking. "You must complete it within one minute. Otherwise you're dropping out of the challenge. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, MAGGOTS?!"
"Sir, yes, sir!" the seven campers saluted the chef as he sent one of them running across the mud. M was first. Everything was going fine for him until he tripped on a sandbox and swallowed mud.
"TEEN GENIUS!" boomed Nidoking. "You're OUT!"
Next in line was Pignite, who joyfully rolled and trotted across the muddy obstacle course towards the finish line.
The six remaining contestants then followed Nidoking to a tall tree.
"You are going to sleep like Zubats tonight," said Nidoking. "All six of you must climb the tallest tree on the island and spend the night hanging upside down. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"
"Sir, yes, sir," saluted Scraggy as he, Emolga, Pignite, Persian, Hypno, and Banette inched their way up the tree.
"Are we there yet?" whined Banette.
"NO!" yelled Persian. "Get to work, because we still have a hundred more feet until we reach the tallest branch."
At sunset that night, the six contestants sat on a thick branch.
"It sure is a nice sunset tonight," said Hypno. "I wonder why the sky turns from blue to orange-purple around six in the evening."
"Well guys," said Pignite. "Our bedtime isn't until 9, so we can spend the next couple hours singing."
You take a mortal man
And put him in control
Watch him become a god
Watch peoples heads roll
Roll
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes
Swaying to the Symphony
Of Destruction
"Good night dorks," said Persian. She coiled her tail at the farthest end of the branch like an opossum. Pignite did the same. Scraggy, Hypno, and Banette hung upside down by their legs. Emolga just closed her wings.
The next morning, Volcanion, Nidoking, and the eight non-competing campers saw the six hangers lying on the ground.
"What are you guys doing in the middle of the forest?" asked Skiddo.
"Nidoking forced us to hang upside down for ten hours," said Persian. "I have no idea how or when any of us fell down."
"OH, NIDOKING!" yelled Volcanion. "These five campers don't know who should win last night's challenge. You should cue the instant replay!"
Nidoking pulled up a projector and inserted a video camera. The footage showed the following contestants falling off in this order: Pignite, Banette, Scraggy, Persian, Hypno, and Emolga.
"Well..." said Nidoking. "EMOLGA has won the challenge for the Chili Peppers!"
"Woo-hoo!" cheered Emolga. "I knew I could do it!"
CONFESSIONAL:
PIGNITE: (holding his head) The rush of blood to my brain must have caused me to fall off the branch. That, or my tail was too skinny.
PERSIAN: Kim Wilde, you should have kept me hanging on.
"Chili Peppers," said Volcanion. "You lost another challenge. You will meet me at the campfire after dinner."
M turned towards his teammates. "So, uh, why don't we got to the recreation center and watch Netflix and chill?" he suggested.
At the recreation center, M set the Internet TV up to broadcast Netflix.
"I'll sneak out some good snacks from the kitchen for lunch," suggested Solosis. "You guys can pick out the shows and movies you like best." She bounced off to get some food.
"Let's see what shows are on Netflix. Scaredy Squirrel, Turbo FAST, Arrested Development, Pokémon, Total Drama, CSI..." said Kingdra as she flipped through the different shows. "Ooh, how about Jessica Jones?"
The other Criminals nodded their heads in agreement. "Apparently the show got phenomenal reviews," said M. "Never mind the graphic violence and occasional F-bombs."
"I haven't heard of many of the actors on this show," said Persian. "Only four actors ring a bell to me."
So Kingdra started playing the first season as she and her teammates huddled onto a couch.
CONFESSIONAL:
SCRAGGY: That guy wasn't dancing at all. (he writes down Phantump's name)
PHANTUMP: Scraggy is starting to annoy me with his hip-hop dances.
The Chili Peppers sat at the campfire, waiting for Volcanion to present them with Pokéblocks.
"As you lost the challenge, I only have six Pokéblocks," said Volcanion as he walked towards the losing team.
"Hypno, Pignite, and... Aron?!" the host said. "Nobody voted against you, so here are your Pokéblocks!" He tossed three Pokéblocks at the campers.
"Chinchou and Skiddo!" said Volcanion cheerily. "Come on down for your Pokéblocks!" Chinchou flopped on over, and Skiddo trotted on down, to get theirs.
"Gentlemen," said Volcanion. "You're in the bottom two this week. Scraggy, you are annoying the other campers with your hip-hop music. And Phantump, you vomited into the confessional bathroom. THAT'S NOT COOL! Pretty soon, the other campers will be complaining about the smell."
Phantump and Scraggy started to sweat intensely for that last Pokéblock.
"Scraggy, you're safe for the night!"
"WOO HAH!" cheered Scraggy as he seized the plate off of Volcanion's back.
"Well guys," said Phantump slowly. "It was a nice time on the island. I'll see you guys soon. Sorry if the barf creeps you guys out. The smell should go away eventually."
Team Members: An X indicates that a cast member was eliminated.
Fun Lovin' Criminals: Abra (X), Banette, Emolga, Totodile (X), Kingdra, Golem (X), Persian, Scatterbug (X), Surskit, M, and Solosis
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Charizard (X), Hypno, Pignite, Skitty (X), Scraggy, Pidgeot (X), Aron, Tropius (X), Phantump (X), Chinchou, and Skiddo
Elimination order:
1. Skitty (refused to jump, and misled her team)
2. Abra (dozed off in the eleventh hour of a dodgeball match)
3. Totodile (was burnt from the electric shocks, and he mistook the judge for Taylor Swift)
4. Charizard (abandoned his team during the challenge)
5. Scatterbug (weakest team member)
6. Tropius (first person captured in the paintball match)
7. Golem (misprepared his team's dessert)
8. Pidgeot (first person to leave the screening)
9. Phantump (lost his lunch)