Authors Note: Hello everyone! Thank you so so much to all of you beautiful people who have reviewed, followed, favorited and simply read this story! It makes me so overwhelmed with joy to see all of your gorgeous reactions and just knowing that there are people out there who are reading this story! I'm turning 19 tomorrow and I thought that as my birthday gift to ya'll, I would post this chapter! It sets up for the rest of the story so I suppose is a little of a filler/ time passing chapter but a lot happens and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks! I'll leave another authors note and review responses down below! Until then, happy reading! :)
The darkness was soft – quiet and mysterious as it hypnotized both sleepwalkers and nighttime lovers alike. I could feel it's blueness caress my skin – feel the shadows whisper amongst the breeze as they became free to waltz. It was peaceful, tranquil in that beautiful way that only the night can truly be. My feet were light and nimble against the damp gravel of the abandoned roads as I slowed my run into a lazy stroll.
I had never been afraid of the darkness. It was as if my heart was bound to it, crafted from it in some strange way that made me it's protector – it's healer. The forest framed the road that I walked on, and I couldn't help but sing amongst the birds, the insects and the creatures of the night. I could feel the star's gaze on me as I walked, as I forgot and ignored what I had just been through. For right now there was no such thing as healers and monsters, no such things as books and hidden secrets. There was just the ground I walked on, the sweet melody of the trees and me.
No – not just me.
Hearing an irregular snap of a stray fallen twig, I stopped walking – my senses straining to hear and see the source of that sound. It had broken the night's sweet lullaby, snapped the it's tranquility as a sudden unwelcoming chill crept and slithered through the trees. I felt a small itch at the back of my neck, as I slowly turned – talking in my surroundings as my breath and heartbeat quickened. My arms wrapped tightly around me as fear scuttled up my bones and fizzed in my blood. It was if all the warmth and love had been sucked out of the air, and all that was left was the claws of the wet, clinging cold. I wanted to run, to listen to my hearts warning but I couldn't. I was paralyzed – paralyzed with terror and –
A hand clamped over my mouth, muffling my scream as I was violently jerked backwards into the chest of a stranger. I felt my body go limp as my fingers clawed at the arm, at the hand and skin of my attacker. My heart beat thunderously inside me as tears spilled over my cheeks. I knew I needed to remain calm, to remain strong and steady and clear and – I was shoved roughly onto the floor. The ground scrapping my knees open as blood gushed from them. I quivered and shook and trembled and squeezed my eyes shut as I wished and prayed on the stars and myself. I needed to be calm, to be – my attacker grabbed my hair and yanked me– a raw cry shattering through my throat as he dragged me along the vicious ground before jerking me upwards to see his face. His hand grabbed my face – his fingers squeezing both of my cheeks as his nails dug into my soft flesh. I wanted to say please, to beg and plead him to let me go but I couldn't. His grip was too tight as it mushed my lips together and his eyes – a soulless sad dirty blue. I struggled to stand on my feet, to stop my shaking and shivering and gushing tears and no – no. I squeezed my eyes shut, as I begged myself to be calm. I didn't know how to fight, I didn't know, I couldn't –
"Now, what's a little girl like you doing out in the dark all alone?" My nose crinkled as his venomous words reeked of cheap alcohol and Tabaco. His eyes held this glazed wildness to them, as if he was not in control of himself but instead some intoxicated puppet that danced to his own demons. My eyes were wide as I tried to leak some innocence, some light and good and sweetness into him. My fingers relaxed against his arms – calm. I had to be calm, to be gentle and weep my fragility into his lost soul. For there had to be some good in him, some grain of light that was drowned by grief, or hatred or anger or pain – whatever drove him to become this way. I slowly caressed my fingers over his arms. His skin was rough and hairy, dirty as I felt dry flakes of skin underneath my fingertips. I couldn't help but feel my heart burn in sadness – at what life he must have lived to drive him to this.
I felt his hand relax against my face, his nails no longer clawing at my skin yet his eyes – his eyes still held that same dangerous emptiness.
"Please, please let me go." I whispered softly, making sure to keep my eyes and features delicate and relaxed. Please, I begged silently to the stars and moon and darkness, please give me courage, please help me, help him. I could feel the blood from my knees dribble down my legs and into my yellow rain boots. "Please."
His features twisted violently as a sinister grin pinched his mouth upwards. "Alright lassie, I'll let you go." His fingers peeled off from my wet cheeks and I watched cautiously as he took a step backwards. I stumbled lightly as I regained my footing, - the blood becoming a small puddle in my boots. "See, "I've let you go. But that don't mean I can't touch you." Before I could comprehend the meaning behind his words – he swung a strong, well-practiced punch right into the side my face. Blood squirted out of my mouth as I fell to the floor, my hands helplessly clawing at the gravel as I tried to control my pain. I was healer. Why wasn't I healing? Panic shackled me as my lips parted in cold shock and a forceful kick slammed against ribs. I cried out a raw and crackling scream. Please, please, please! I couldn't close my eyes, I couldn't move, I couldn't be calm I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't…he crouched down over me and grasped the fraying collar of my white dress – the threads pulling and straining as he pulled my head of the ground. My eyes were wide with fear now and I knew he was enjoying it, as if my fear were a drug that he grew strength and encouragement from. There was no use being gentle with him, no use trying to find that grain of light.
He leaned in close, his nose pressing forcefully against mine as our eyes melted into one another – one light and one dark, one fragile and one stone. "Scream for me." He hissed before a figure slammed into him.
I watched with wide and frantic eyes as two figures rolled and weaved across the gravel in a whirlwind of anger, revenge and hatred. They looked like spiralling smoke through my hazy eyes as screams and grunts and growls rolled through the air. Fearful curiosity prickled in my blood as I clumsily got to my feet – my body hunched over as I pressed a hand to my ribs. They were broken – pressing against my skin in a jagged way. My pain suffocated me, blinded me as I fell to the floor once more and clawed at the ground. I buried my face against it's cool surface and cried, gasped and screamed in both agony and frustration.
Heal. Please, please, please. I looked up at the stars, and allowed their shine and glow and promise of safety to drown me as the screams and horrors and rips and crashes faded away. I could feel my blood fizz once more, separate into small working butterflies that flew and fluttered across my ribs. I gasped loudly, letting sweet and rich air fill my lungs. I became hypnotized by the magic my own body was performing. I looked to my legs and hands and arms where I could see my wounds closing with some invisible thread. Heal – I was healing.
A scream louder than all the others shook me out of my mesmeric trance as the cold reality washed over me and the cool wet slipperiness of the night returned. A rough thump echoed from behind me and I turned around on the floor to see my attacker. His face was smeared in blood, in fear and terror as he frantically shuffled away from whoever was coming towards him.
A low growl rumbled through my veins as I looked up to see the source of that sound, the source of my saviour and bringer of terror. Yet when I looked behind me, when I looked up and into the eyes of my rescuer – I never expected to see Jasper. His eyes were black as a snarl pulled at his features. Danger rolled off him in violent waves and in that moment, I was not sure if I should run or stay. I had never seen someone so frightening in my life, someone so capable of murder and torture and brining the demons up to dance. His hands were clenched as his hair swayed across his eyes. His white shirt was ripped, the sleeves pulled up to expose his strong and well-muscled forearms.
My throat clotted as I was unable to speak, unable to untangle my thoughts and emotions as he suddenly began to walk towards my attacker with a predator's purpose. I felt afraid of him and I knew I should run, should run and hide and wish upon the stars, but when my eyes met his, when I saw his heartbeat inside them –
I clumsily got to my feet and with one gentle and fluid motion, I intercepted him – my tiny hands cupping and caressing both of his cheeks as my thumbs hid behind his ears. I felt him tremble, felt him crack and break as violent anger drained from his eyes and into mine.
"Look at me," I whispered, begged him as we both quivered in this heated mixture of intimate fear, anger and desperation. "Come back," my eyes were wide as I spoke, as I ran my fingers through his hair and leaked all my courage and strength and fragility into him. "Come back to me my darling enigma," I went up on my tiptoes and pressed a delicate kiss on his cheek. His skin was cold. I pressed my lips against his cheek once more, closing my eyes as they lingered there – lingered whilst stray tears fell from my eyes and I whispered one final world in his ear. "Please."
I felt him relax against me in defeat, felt his hands bunch the fabric of my white dress as I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him gently. My heat beat thunderously inside me, as if it wanted to escape…as if it wanted to burst through my ribcage and skin and clothing and coil up inside him. There was such violence in him, such untamed pain and in the strangest of ways…it made me want to be closer to him, to discover and heal and care for him. He has saved me – this beautiful, fragile and extraordinary man had saved me. I squeezed my eyes closed as I tried to understand my emotions as I held him, as he held me and my attacker's gasps and pants became a mere echo in the distance. I felt angry at him, upset that he would be so violent yet…that anger was diluted by my overwhelming care and blooming emotion for him, for how this was so much deeper than just saving me. Seeing the effect that this had on him…
Pulling away, my hair clung to his clothing as if it didn't want to be separated from him. His scent lingered in my nostrils as our eyes danced over one another. He looked shattered and I…I forgot about my own experience as suddenly all that mattered was him. His hands lingered on my waist as he crushed the fabric in his hands.
My hand went to rest on his cheek – my touch as delicate as a fallen petal floating on a river. "Wait here for me my lovely, promise me." He didn't reply as I took a step away from him, his touch a ghost lingering on my skin as I turned my back on him and walked towards my attacker. He was lying on the floor, watching us with wide panicked eyes who's anger and lust seemed to have shattered. He looked like a broken man in that moment and despite knowing I shouldn't care…I did. Crouching down next to him, I surrendered to my own naivety and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from me as if I had stung him. My hand stuttered before resting on my healed knee.
"You asked me to scream for you." I whispered, not breaking my eyes from his. "You hurt me and intended the worst for me. You're not safe, not for me, for others or yourself. I'm not going to hurt you," I soothed, "I'm going to help you."
Standing, I looked behind me to see Jasper. He looked tense, afraid and dangerous but… he kept his promise. We had to take my attacker to the police station but I feared about Charlie finding out, feared his worry and possibility of imprisoning me in a cage. Taking a deep breath, I asked Jasper a favor. I asked him to take this man to the police station and I would meet him in a safer place, a place where we could talk and bare one another's soul to the other without fear. For after everything…despite my growing fear towards him I, I needed him. It frightened me. That despite seeing Jasper's violent outburst no matter his intentions that instead of running, I wanted to be closer to him and, when we parted ways – I felt that absence, felt my sense of security and calm fade away as I suddenly became victim to a night I did not know.
The place I had chosen was a place I had kept locked in my heart – a secret that belonged to me and me alone since…the abandoned stable was hidden in the forest, like an enchanted house in a fairytale wood. It looked the same since I last saw it. The wood, a weeping brown, was decorated in protective vines, twigs and leaves – hidden and safe, a secret that belonged to me, belonged to my mother and father. Mama had taken me here when I was young. We would sneak out during the night, chasing one another until we reached this safe haven. We would sleep here, tell each other stories and get lost in our own untouched world.
I pressed my palm against the creaking wood, the smell – thick of old rain, lost memories and books. This was where my mama and papa became engaged.
The door opened with a stubbornness that required force and I knew then, that this door had not been opened in a long time. It was dark inside, hay scattering the floor as well as remnants of a sweet and innocent past. I felt my heart slow within me, felt my blood thicken and steady as I took in the room. I was afraid to enter, to feel that familiar air coating my skin without my…I hadn't been in here without her, hadn't visited this place since…
I stepped out of my rainboots before entering – my toes curling against the grass and the dirt and the rusty leaves. A gently breeze pushed me forward, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was conjured by the stars. My eyes flicked upwards to them before I entered, flicked up to search for my mama and my papa. Together, safe – they were now safe. And with no more thoughts or hesitance, I took my first step into what used to be our solace when we visited Forks.
The hay was cold against my feet, stiff from age and abandonment as I walked lightly over them. Moonlight flickered in from the cracks in the ceiling as suddenly…I felt as if I was no longer alone, no longer in danger. Everything was familiar once more. My fingers ran over the wooden wall as I walked, as my eyes found something strange hidden beneath the hay. I stopped, my fingers quivering with intrigue as I took in a sweet breath of air before bending down and retrieving whatever was hidden.
My fingertips grazed the hidden object – it was light, soft and delicate as I pulled it out. They were pages, covered in droplets of blood and hard from years of enduring the rain. The writing was smudged but…when my hand, coated in blood that had crusted over my skin…. when my hand touched those blood droplets it was as if the blurred words didn't matter. Because it wasn't the words that were important, no – it was the blood. Everything seemed to come back to blood, yet before I could ponder on that thought…. the strangest thing happened.
My breath started to stutter out in loud panicked gasps as my mind, as my eyes…it's like they suddenly weren't my own, like I was falling and fading and disappearing into memories and thoughts and emotions that weren't my own. I collapsed to the ground, my hands gripping the hay as my eyes misted over and surrendered to whatever magic claimed and enslaved my mind.
The stables were broken through shafts of moonlight that filtered through the gaps in the wooden roof. She stood there, my mama – her feet light against the hay that scattered the floors. She was nervous, biting her nails as she waited and hoped and dreamed. She was dressed in her nightgown, it's light blueness spilling around her like tropical water. She was young, unwed but…her fingers went to ring finger. How she desired a ring to decorated it, to seal the promise between her and Silas that her heart had already made. He should have been here by now, he should have –
"Flora." His voice was sweet and hushed, broken through his deep breathing as he recovered from running here. Her eyes widened with relief at the sight of him, as her untamed and wild innocence bleed from her eyes and into his. But no smile pulled at her lips, for worry had a strong grip on her bones, veins and beating heart. She ran to him, tossing her arms around him in desperation to know and feel that he was alive. Silas's arms wrapped her, lifting her from the ground and twirling her around as he placed a single hand on the back of her head, nuzzling his nose against her cheek as he sought her scent and breath upon his flesh.
Pulling away, he placed Flora down and searched her over with his eyes to make sure she was alright, that she was not harmed. Flora's fingers danced along his cheek, following the lines of the scars that painted his skin. His whole body was decorated with them – a living walking portrait of torture and suffering and victory as he, despite his past…was alive.
"I thought you may have been killed, there were whispers, amongst the other healers," Flora whispered with great haste and clumsy urgency and worry. "Whispers that you had been killed or captured or…" A sob clotted in her throat as she tried to push back her tears. "You're here." He nodded in response, too overcome and afraid with what he was about to say. His body became stiff as he remembered his purpose of being here and Flora, in her knowing way…could see one of her greatest fears glimmer in his eyes. "You're here to leave me aren't you." She said, taking a shaky step away from him, "to say goodbye."
"I-" his voice was strong, forced but…strong. He knew what he needed to say and knew that it was because he loved her. "I have to. This isn't fair on you, for you to be with someone who doesn't…" he paused, knowing his words were a lie, a forced lie that he said to make her hate him. He needed her to hate him. "Who doesn't love you."
She shook her head, seeing through his misty lie. "Don't lie to me my angel, you know you will never be able to do so successfully." She walked back towards him, stroking his face as she tried to leak some sense into him. "Why are you saying these things?"
"Because if you marry me, you'll be an outcast, you'll be hunted – our child would be because of who I am. Because of who I was." She shook her head, refusing to believe his words, refusing to care.
"That doesn't matter to me. I'd rather be an outcast than a slave to ancient rules. I love you for what you are, for what you were and everything that that entails. You're my beautiful healer, my warrior, my soulmate, my truelove, my melody." She needed him to hear her words, to hear her heartbeat and soul's pulse for despite the fire that she knew would consume them both if she made this decision…her selfish heart could not let him go.
"We would be running, for the rest of our lives. I can't let you have that life." He needed her to understand, to support him in this because he knew in his heart that he couldn't protect her forever. For he wasn't just any healer…no – he was a slave, a branded prisoner from birth to a coven of monsters. His parents had been slaves, belonged to this family of monsters when he was born. His birth declared him a child of his parent's masters. They raised him, brainwashed him until one day…when he witnessed his parent's deaths…murders, he escaped and ran. Ran for his life and his life alone. He never wanted to burden another with his curse. He was constantly hunted, constantly running with a death sign violently nailed into his back.
"I don't think that's your choice to make my darling." Flora said with a sweet sadness as she took both of his hands in hers. "Don't I get a say?"
He shook his head in frustration. "Of course you do but –"
"Then what I say is this," her fingers tightened against his as her thumbs caressed the backs of his hands. "I love you. I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment those sparkling eyes held me in your loving embrace. You are different, unique and rare and my heart is tethered to yours in a bond that cannot be broken." She spoke strongly, from her heart and soul. Taking a deep breath, she said, "marry me."
Silas's eyes widened with shock and fear. He wanted to marry her with every grain and atom that bonded him. His healers blood sang for her, rippled with desire as he wished to speak one and only one word in return. Yet he was afraid, for he knew what this meant – his knew the life this would give her, the danger…and it would be all his fault. But as he looked into those big brown eyes of hers, as his skin melted into hers…he knew in that moment that they were doomed to the fire that would flare and consume them in unchallengeable love and eventual death. He belonged to her, heart, soul and mind and no matter how hard he tried in the past and present…he couldn't rid himself of her.
Taking her face in his hands, he waited…waited one more moment for he knew that when he spoke his answer…they would forever be sealed and bound to one another. He wished on the stars that night, wished on the moon and the dead and the living – wished for peace and solace, for safety and tenderness.
"Yes," he told her with one of those rare looks that told her he would make any promise to her and never break it. "Yes, my shining star, I will marry you."
The vision blurred, twisted and burst into smoke, fog and mist. I was once again alone in the stables, quivering as I uncoiled my hand from the hay and pages. It was as if I was inside them, inside both my mother and father as they made that promise to one another. I felt every one of their emotions, everyone of their thoughts, needs and desires and I….I felt wrong, as if I had violated them and the moment that changed their lives forever. My heart felt different after seeing that…as if a new-found vengefulness blossomed and festered within me simultaneously. Monsters…it all came back to them. They had murdered my father, destroyed their lives and my mother…I let my face drop into my hands as I let out a tight scream. My whole world had fractured and cracked and I didn't know how to handle it. Everything I thought I knew was a lie, this whole world, who I am. I felt a bitter and poisonous anger rise up in me, a feeling that I had never felt before. It was dark and dangerous and I knew I had to get control of myself. But despite my heavy breathing and feeble attempt to restrain what I was feeling, what I felt towards those monsters…. I hated them.
And in that moment, that moment of accepting my hatred…I cracked and crumbled to its wrath. I felt its darkness poison my blood as I let out another scream. But this was one was raw, raw and painful as it projected every shard of suffering, pain and anger and hatred. It blinded me, consumed me as I dug my nails into my scalp and tossed and broke and smashed everything I could. I couldn't see, there was just blood and pain and it wouldn't go away. My body stuttered with deep sobs and cries and screams as I sought to destroy everything in the room. I was so lost, so angry and in pain and –
Just as I grabbed an empty milk bottle to shatter on the floor, Jasper grasped my wrist as my heart crumbled into his eyes. He was here, I wasn't alone, I was safe, I was, I am….I fell into his arms, crying and clinging to the crisp fabric of his white shirt. I couldn't hold my own weight as I collapsed against him and he held me up, pulling me against him as he cradled me against his body, as our hearts and souls intertwined in this shattering intimacy. I needed to feel him, to smell his scent and bury myself in him. I wanted it all to go away, for this new complex and dark world to fade away as if it were all but a dream. I could feel his hands in my hair, his fingers running through it as he whispered soothing words in my ear. But I didn't hear him, my thoughts were too loud, that memory that shouldn't be mine to carry screamed at me in my mind. I wanted them to be quiet, to forget and fall into that mysterious abyss. I trembled in his arms, clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping me grounded in this universe. But no, this wasn't fair on him…not after everything, not after how little time we spent together I…
Pulling away, I walked towards the wooden wall and rested my back against it as we stared at one another. I felt naked, as if I had violated both him and myself. "I, I'm sorry." I stuttered out softly, trying to ease my tears and reclaim my voice. But it was as quiet as a mouse and as fragile as thin ice. "I'm so sorry." My nose burned as tears threatened to spill once more. No, I had to be calm, I had to get under control. "I shouldn't have done that I –"
"Willa –" he took a hesitate step towards me, his eyes and face drowning in concern and a gentle need to protect. "It's alright, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." He outstretched his hand towards me. It was steady and calm as if he were trying to leak an emotion into me. But I didn't feel calm, I felt lost, and afraid and angry and desperate. I looked at his hand, how large and strong and fierce it truly was. It was as if it held the promise of protection, of great safety and love and destruction to anyone who threatens that.
"You saved me." I whispered, still looking at his hand as if were some hypnotic device.
"I made a promise darlin, to keep you safe" he replied, keeping his hand outstretched yet caution now coated his words. Not because of me and what I could do, but because he didn't want to hurt me. He promised to keep me safe and I suppose…he did.
"I feel so angry, like some dark poison has burst within me and it won't go away." I shifted my eyes from his hand to his eyes as my heart controlled my mouth. "I've never felt so much hatred before, so much pain and…, I don't know…I can't…" I wanted to fall to the floor, to curl up like some lost puppy and hope that someone would look after me and tell me everything was alright. But I knew I couldn't do that. I had to be strong, I had to suppress these emotions and not let anyone see or know or –
"Don't hide it." Jasper whispered, taking a step towards me. "Don't ever hide those emotions Willa."
I shook my head, swallowing back my tears. "Emotions make you weak. I can't be seen as weak, not to Bella, not to anyone I…I have to be strong, I've always been strong."
"Emotions make you strong Willa. Knowing them and feeling and showing them, they are what makes a person strong." Jasper's words pinched my heart, as if I suddenly had permission to fall into his arms as a crumbled broken thing.
"But what if I'm not a person? What if I'm not…human." Jasper's eyes crinkled in bewilderment and confusion at my words but it didn't last for long. A new-found confidence claimed him as he strode towards me and cupped my cheeks, whipping away my tears with his thumbs.
"It doesn't matter what you are, Willa, all that matters is who." His touch was strong, desperate as if he was trying to grasp some loose thread to pull me back from wherever I was fading to. "You are you, Willa Fawn. You're mind, your soul and heart – you," he pressed his forehead against mine as his eyes bore into me. "You are perfect." My heart, suddenly and forcefully, calmed. My shaking, my tears…they stopped. "Perfect."
I pulled away from him silently, "aren't –" I swallowed deeply as a new wave of emotions flooded out the dark. "Aren't you curious as to what I meant by not human?" A new thought burst in my mind and I needed to know. Was he like me?
He paused before answering, as he tried to thread and weave together his words in a careful and beautiful way. "I, of course I am curious. But not surprised as the world is full of things we have yet to discover. You reminded me of that. That no matter how many years we have lived, there are always new things to see and discover. But it is not my place to ask you." I could tell he wanted to say more, that words struggled on his lips to get free but…he remained quiet, timid all of a sudden. But whatever he was going to say, he was right, it was not my place to ask.
Yet instead a new question escaped my lips. "Will you, could you stay with me tonight?" My voice was weak and fragile as the night breeze. He at looked me, tenderly and with great softness.
And after taking a single step towards me, he spoke three words that sealed our companionship. "As you wish."
The following month passed in a whirlwind of secretive investigation, discovery and intimacy. The night I had been attacked, he stayed with me, lay with me underneath the stars as we searched, found and created new constellations. We talked, sang, danced and played music into the night. Time slipped through our fingers as it became a forgotten concept. We had not slept a single wink, had not acknowledge tiredness or reality.
It was just him and I, Jasper and Willa.
We shared stories of our past, played music for one another and danced – danced as one as we drifted like fireflies in the moonlight. When the sun blossomed into existence, no panic consumed us…just laughter and amusement and wonder at how we had forgotten everything else in this world but each other. He walked me home, watched me climb up the vines and into my room safely. I had told him to wait once I was in my room. I quietly padded over to the paste pink roses on my dresser and plucked a single one from the glass vase before returning to the window. And when I captured sight of him, dressed in his white shirt and dark jeans, his hands knotted behind his back as he looked up through his eyelashes and hair…he looked like one of those soldiers from those books or movies, one of those soldiers secretly courting the girl of his choice. I gave him a small smile before dropping the rose down to him – remaining speechless as I did so, and as he caught it.
It fell neatly into his hands. I watched him analyze it, cradle it as it was something he had never seen before. His touch was delicate as his fingers ran over the rose's petals, as he brought it up to his nose to smell. He inhaled deeply, savoring each scent that drifted up his nostrils in some lyrical and poetic way. His eyes drifted up to meet mine and it was in that gaze that I knew everything would be alright, no matter what happened or what the future, past or present held…everything would be alright.
The days that past during the month were both magnetic, electric, intriguing and terrifying. I learnt so much about who I was…who I was meant to be. The night after the attack, I had ventured back into the woods. Searching and feeling for something, someone who needed me. I knew I could heal myself, but others…I needed to see it, needed to believe it. I wasn't sure how long I had been walking before I stumbled across another deer. She was covered in moon shaped bites, her breath weak as she clung on to life by a feather.
I fell to my knees, my hands trembling as I looked over this beautiful creature. Her attack had been violent and ruthless. My fingers danced over her fur before I pulled out a knife and held it above my wrist. I was afraid to cut myself, but I knew I would be alright and this creature…without another thought, I cut into my skin – watching and screaming as my blood flowed from me and into the mouth of the gasping deer. Pain shot through me, strangled my veins and bones as my eyes squeezed shut just to bear it. But before I knew it, I felt my healer's blood pulse and dance within me as my wound closed. Yet I wasn't relieved, I was panicked. My eyes snapped open.
"No, no, no no!" My breath turned sour, bitter as I held and caressed the deer's head in my lap. "Please, please heal." I pressed a lingering kiss on her fur, my eyes closed as tears gently fell from my eyes. "Please." I begged, begged to whoever listened. "Please be enough."
And it was.
The deer grew stronger in my hands, it took time but…she did. And before I knew it, she was running through the woods once more, a beautiful, ethereal and healthy deer. I was really a healer, and I knew I had to stop fighting it, stop questioning and breaking as I discovered more. And so that is what I did.
I attempted to fully immerse myself into my school work, yet to my demise…I failed in doing so. Each moment at school, every moment I walked through the corridors and sat in my classes, my mind was robbed from me. It belonged to tales of healers and monsters, to Jasper. Our friendship had become this secret, this precious thing that only our two hearts knew about it. It was intoxicating. Every look, every secret touch of fingers brushing against each other as we passed in the hallways…all of these stolen moments...
Our friendship blossomed and quivered in the darkest of corners of the darkest of nights. It had been a few days after the attack when we made our decision – when we walked through the forest as if we were its makers. A warm hot coco nestled in-between my hands as we walked side my side – three of my strides a single one of his.
"What about your family?" I had asked him gently, licking away the warm chocolatey liquid that stuck to my upper lip. It was cold that night, colder than others as leaves crystalized and crunched underneath our feet.
I looked up to see Jasper's reaction as we walked, his thumb brushing over the side of his nose as he pondered his answer. "We ah," he paused his stride, looking up to the stars and trees and moon before flicking his gaze back to mine. "We are very close but –" his face became tense, as if the next words he spoke would pain him, bring about some guilt that he wasn't sure he wanted to have. "They are very protective, too protective." He rolled his shoulders back, pinning his bands together behind his back as he spoke. "They hover." As he spoke, he seemed to drift away, as if his thoughts had stolen his mind into an alternate universe and he, the man who stood before me, was a shell. I took a dainty step forward and placed a hand on his forearm.
"I know what that is like my lovely," I spoke gently, well aware of the conflicting emotions swimming inside him. "My mama, she was always so protective, so careful but…I understand why." The hands he held together behind his back loosened as they fell to his sides, his expression softening as he recognized something of himself in me.
"I would do anything to protect my family." His confession was sweet yet dangerous. "They saved me."
My brows furrowed in bewilderment. "Saved you?" I pressed delicately.
"I wasn't always this –" he paused, searching for the right world, "controlled, but Alice…" A beautiful tenderness and affection molded his features as memories of his dear sister flittered in his mind. "She helped me in a way that no one else at the time could but, I need escape. With a family like mine, it's impossible to have something that's just yours, impossible to have a secret or…"
"Escape." I finished for him in one breathless word.
He inclined his head, looking at me in a way I had never seen him look at me before. "You're that impossibility Willa." He took a bold step forward, my heart hiccupping in my chest as he took one of my hands in his. "And I can be yours, if you so desire."
His thumb ran over the smooth surface of my hand, sending heated shivers to scuttle through me as my eyes widened and a new hope bloomed within me. A hope that I could trust him, that our friendship could grow into something sacred, that he wouldn't be afraid of me and that he would understand. I gave the shiest of nods as I still attempted to gather my composure and still my racing heart.
"I do," I whispered, squeezing his hand lightly as he offered me a crooked smile. "I promise."
Authors Note: Hi everyone! So thats the end of the chapter! It's kind of a set up chapter for all that is to come! I hope you all enjoyed it and I would love to know what everyone thought of it! The coming chapters will be a mixture of heated fluffiness and some rather dark moments as things get more serious and Willa grows and develops more! There's still so much to figure out and discover! I can't wait to properly start writing Willa and Jasper's relationship and for ya'll to see it blossom and ignite! I can't wait for everyone to read what's coming! So please review, favorite and follow and read! I love you all! - Lisette
JessEwa26: That's so sweet of you to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! There will be lots of fluff between Jasper and Willa in the next chapter so I'm so excited for you to read it! There will be lots of cute little scenes coming, and as for Willa's reaction to Jasper...I think it will be perfect! I can't wait to read what you think of this chapter! Lots of Love - Lisette
Kookie16: That's so sweet of you to say! Goodness reading your review just made me so extremely happy! As for her reaction, I can't tell you exactly what it will be but I think it will be perfect! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter and you have so much more to look forward to as this was more of an in-between chapter! I hope that makes sense! Lots of Love - Lisette
Littlecosma001:That's alright my lovely! And yep that's exactly it, her near death experience did awaken her abilities so she has a rather massive journey that she has to go on now but I'm so excited to share it! I hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of this one! Much Love, Lisette 3
AmberinAshes: That's so sweet of you to say! I love you're excitement and goodness your review just made me so happy! I truly hope you like this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! There are many more twists and turns to come yet! Much Love, Lisette
Darkest Nightingale: Oh my goodness! Your review literally made me cry with joy and happiness and just pure elation! I don't know how to ever thank you for those beautiful and so generously kind words! I don't know what to say...thank you so so much and goodness if I could send you a hug I would! I truly hope that you enjoy this chapter as well and I can't wait to see what you think of it! Your comment has given me so much confidence that I never thought I could have or feel! Thank you so much truly and I really hope you like this chapter too! Much Love - Lisette
Belgium Bear: Oh my goodness! Your review nearly made me cry! Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart truly! Willa has been a character who I have been thinking about for ages and being able to see you're reaction to her just makes my blood bubble with happiness! Thank you so so much and I can't wait t see what you think of this one! Much Love, Lisette
Snow Black: That's so sweet of you to say! I'm so happy that you love and ship her parents! I must admit I absolutely adore writing them and there will be more scenes between them as more is explored and discovered! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Much Love - Lisette!