To all of those who reviewed and said that this was great/awesome and/or that you loved it, THANK YOU! I love to hear from you guys, it makes it worth it and makes me want to update, which I have, yay! I have pushed their talk back quite a bit and I explained why, (don't hurt me). To those who expressed anger at Col Mann, I planned it that way cuz I totally saw her as that kind of character, she would have done such a thing. Sorry I'm not taking the time here, I may PM you if you guys want, to thank you, I really do appreciate your reviews, I'm just lazy. :) Also, I did forgo the smut, there is a shower scene but it is very PGish, no naughtiness in graphic detail, you can use your imagination if you want, I just don't think I'm good at writing that sort of thing.

I'm not sure which one to do next, any suggestions?

Please enjoy!

Tony looked around the wreck of his room with a blank stare, clothes were strewn about, his toiletries were lying on his pillow and his bags were open at the foot of the bed. He'd been kicked off the team, banished to the Sea Hawk as punishment for letting Jenny Sheppard die. It was punishment, no matter what anyone said, the new director, Vance, was punishing the whole team, Ziva and himself especially. Tony sat on the edge of his bed and placed his head in his hands, this was his fault; he had insisted that Jenny could handle herself and now Ziva was being forced to leave and he was on a one-way ticket to Agent Afloat.

The sudden tightening of his throat made him gasp and the sting of tears made him close his eyes tightly, trying to hold them back. As the first slipped out though, he let out a sob and gripped his hair in his hands tightly. He hadn't truly grieved for what happened, he had been so focused on figuring out the events of that day and defending his actions, he didn't let himself think about it too deeply. But now, here, alone in his apartment, packing for the trip out to sea tomorrow, he couldn't help but think of anything else. Jenny Sheppard was dead because he wanted to play hooky and enjoy this mini-vacation they had been granted, never mind that they were on protection detail, one that they had failed at, epically. Ziva didn't deserve this, she had wanted to check on the director repeatedly throughout their time in California but Tony had ignored her intuition and as a result, Jenny was now dead.

Another sob wracked his body and he let himself slip to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on them as the faces of his co-workers flashed through his mind. They all said the same thing, it wasn't his fault, but he could see the accusations in their eyes, the questions they wanted answered that he had no answers to. The only explanation was that he had fucked up, big time, and he was the only one who should have been punished for this, not the rest of his team, but Vance had handed out the orders and they were all stuck in the fate that Tony had forced on them.

Tony stayed in that position for several minutes before the tears subsided and he leaned his head back against the bed, taking deep breaths to calm himself. It took a few moments but he became aware of eyes watching him, dropping his head, he wasn't surprised to see Gibbs standing in the doorway. Wiping his face, Tony stood on shaky legs and sat on the edge of the bed again, running his hand through his hair and not meeting Gibbs' eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked his voice raw and low from crying.

"Came to check up on you," Gibbs said, shrugging the shoulder not against the door frame.

"I'm fine," Tony stated, his tone sharp, not knowing what to think of the other man seeing him as he was a moment ago.

"I can see that," Gibbs said wryly and stood straight and walked into the room. Tony, refusing to meet his eyes still, turned and started placing clothes into his bags

"Do you have everything?" Gibbs asked, picking up a shirt and folding it and placing it in front of Tony, then picking up a pair of pants and doing the same which the other man grabbed and stuffed into his bag.

"Yeah," Tony's voice had softened some but he was still not thrilled with the fact that Gibbs was there, standing next to him, watching him pack his bags. When he was done, he zipped up both bags and placed them on the floor and turned to his former boss.

"What are you doing here Jethro?" he asked, running a tired hand over his face.

"Like I said, I came to check on you, and to bring you dinner," the other man said, turning and walking out of the room. Tony looked after him for a long moment before sighing and following him into the living room where he found Ziva, McGee, Abby, Ducky and even Palmer sitting. He stopped inside the doorway and stared at the people who looked like they had just arrived. Abby was carrying four large pizzas, McGee had a case of beer, Ducky had a bottle of wine and Palmer had something that looked like cupcakes.

"Tony!" Abby cried once she spotted him and raced across the room once she had set the pizza's down and threw her arms around him. "What Vance is doing is stupid," she said, taking his hand and leading him into the room where everyone greeted him.

"Abby," he started but the lab tech glared at him.

"No, this was not your fault Tony," she said vehemently, "and punishing everyone is so not cool."

"I agree with everything Abigail said," Ducky spoke up, opening a pizza box as Gibbs went into the kitchen to grab glasses and plates, "this is not your fault Anthony." Tony gave him a small smile as Abby pulled him down on the love seat next to her

"What do I owe the occasion?" he asked as a plate with two pizza slices was thrust into his hands by Gibbs and a beer placed in front of him on the coffee table.

"Well it's our last night together for a while," McGee spoke up for the first time, "and we thought you shouldn't spend it alone."

"This is probably our last night together, period McGee, I don't see Vance bringing me back any time soon and unless Ziva comes to visit, we probably won't see her any time soon either," Tony said morosely.

"Don't talk like that!" Abby said, hitting Tony on the arm hard, causing him to wince, "Gibbs will get you back, right Gibbs," she said turning to the man in question.

"I'll do what I can to get the team back together," Gibbs said, looking Tony in the eye, but Tony knew that Gibbs was only one man, a man to be reckoned with, but still, only one man.

"I'm sure you will Jethro," Ducky spoke up, taking a sip of his wine.

"When do you leave?" Tony asked Ziva, sometime later after both Ducky and Palmer had left and it was nearing the two o'clock hour. They had moved into Tony's room, Ziva, McGee, Abby and Tony spread across the California king size bed he had, watching a movie, and Gibbs taking up a chair to the side.

"Tomorrow night," was the reply and Abby's hold around Tony tightened slightly as if hearing her words in sleep. Tony was between Ziva and Abby, the latter draped across his torso, the former lying by his side and McGee was on the other side of Abby, also asleep. Tony looked towards Gibbs and found the older man asleep, his head resting on his chest. "It really isn't your fault Tony," the Mossad operative stated and Tony turned his head back towards her.

"Maybe one day I'll believe that," he stated quietly and turned back to the movie on the screen.

Sometime later, Tony jerked awake and laid there for a moment, gathering his bearings, another nightmare, he had been having them for the last while, he never remembered what they were about, but he always awoke with a start. Sitting up, he looked to his right to see Abby had draped herself across McGee at some point and Ziva was lying with her back towards him, seeming asleep. He looked towards the chair where Gibbs had been sleeping to find it empty and he couldn't help the feeling of loss. He looked up when he heard a throat clearing quietly to see Gibbs standing, once again, in the door way, watching him. The older man jerked his head slightly behind him and turned and left the room, expecting Tony to follow. Tony sat up and looked at the clock which read five-thirty meaning he had five hours before his flight out to the Sea Hawk. He sighed and scooted to the end of the bed, trying not to disturb his friends as he climbed off, before walking quietly into the kitchen where Gibbs was waiting.

"Nightmare?" the other man asked as Tony sat and a glass of juice was placed in front of him.

"Yeah," he said, nodding his thanks as the other man sat down across from him.

"As bad as they used to be?" was the next question and Tony remembered all the times he would wake up while they had been dating and Gibbs had been there. Now, though, he had to deal with them on his own, had been for nearly a year. The other man finally remembered them, their relationship but had never hinted at wanting to start up again so Tony had never brought it up. Tony nodded and stared down at the contents in his cup, silence engulfing them. There was a lot that Tony wanted to say to the other man, but he didn't know how to start.

"I'm sorry," had Tony's head snapping up and staring at Gibbs in confusion.

"For what?" he asked.

"I tried to talk to Vance and get him to change his mind, but he says that his word is final and insists that this is not a punishment for you." Tony sighed and leaned back in his chair, running a hand over his face.

"What do you think?" he asked quietly and stared at Gibbs as he stared back.

"I know," he said, emphasizing the second word, "that this is not your fault, Tony, you need to stop blaming yourself, no one else does." Tony stood abruptly at that and picked up his now empty cup and moved to the sink, looking out the window at the coming dawn.

"I wish I could go back," he said quietly, gripping the side of the sink tightly, "do what I was supposed to do instead of screwing up like I always do."

"You are not a screw up," Gibbs voice said from behind him and Tony met his eyes in the window and chuckled mirthlessly before turning around, finding Gibbs a lot closer than he thought.

"Tell that to Jenny," he said, leaning against the counter. Gibbs sighed and moved forward, into Tony's space and gripped both sides of his face between his palms.

"Listen to me," he said, staring directly into Tony's eyes, "you need to forgive yourself, it will eat you alive."

"Yeah but-" Tony was cut off mid-sentence by Gibbs mouth on his and he instinctively wrapped his arms around the older man's shoulders as Gibbs' dropped around his waist and pulled him forward.

Pulling away, Tony leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, breathing heavily, Gibbs' arms still around his waist.

"What is this?" he asked, looking back down at Gibbs who sighed and pulled back.

"I don't know," he said and leaned against the counter and ran a hand over his face.

"You can't practically ignore me and this thing between us until now, the night before I leave for who knows how long," Tony said accusingly, frustrated with the other man.

"I tried to talk to you about this," Gibbs shot back.

"When?" Tony demanded, folding his arms.

"The first time was after we thought you blew up in that car," Gibbs said and Tony's eyes narrowed.

"You remembered?"

"Yeah, it all came back to me when I thought you were dead," he pointed out and Tony looked shocked.

"That's why you invited me to your place," he said, realization coming like a freight train.

"Yeah DiNozzo, but you left," Gibbs pointed out and Tony closed his eyes.

"Mann showed up, I was still hurting from Jeanne and thought that you wanted to be alone with her," he said quietly.

"I wanted to talk to you, iron everything out, fill in the holes that were missing. I kept trying to talk to you, when you showed up after the whole Maddie fiasco. I wanted to talk the morning after you showed up, but you left when I was out getting breakfast." Tony thought back to that night, he had ended up with a small cold, luckily nothing worse, and how he had felt guilty, waking in Gibbs bed and had snuck out like a one-night-stand. "I figured that you were avoiding the issue, that you didn't want us to pick up where we left off so I backed off."

"God Gibbs," Tony said rubbing his forehead, letting a self-depreciating laugh out, "we're both morons," he said, looking at the other man again. "But why now?"

"I had to let you know," Gibbs said, standing straight again and moving forward, back into Tony's space, "give you a reason to come back when I give you that option."

"Not like I wouldn't take it, even if you didn't want me back," Tony said, reaching forward and resting a hand on Gibbs' neck as he pulled him forward into another kiss. "Just don't take too long," he said pulling back a moment later and Gibbs smirked.

"Are you two done making out in the kitchen?" Ziva's voice asked, breaking them apart and Gibbs pulled back but didn't move away from Tony.

"No, go away," Tony replied and tried to pull Gibbs back but the man smiled and pulled away fully and Tony shot the grinning Mossad operative a glare.

"Are the other's up?" Gibbs asked and in answer, Abby stuck her head around the door frame also grinning and stepped in, dragging McGee behind her and Tony rolled his eyes when he saw the other man covering his own with his hand.

"You can look now McGee," he said and stood straight, contemplating grabbing Gibbs and kissing him again when McGee lowered his hand slowly, first peeking through his fingers.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Abby said, hugging first Gibbs then Tony, "oh, but wait," she said frowning, "you're leaving today," she said, pointing at Tony.

"Yeah Abbs," he replied and looked at the clock, "in about four hours."

"Let's get breakfast!" she said, clapping her hands and looking around her at the rest of the team.

"I really need to change," McGee said, looking down at his wrinkled clothing, "and shower."

"Yeah you do," Tony said and McGee glared at him.

"I would also like the chance to shower and change," Ziva spoke up and Abby sighed.

"How about we all take an hour, go home, shower, change, do whatever and we'll meet at IHOP," Tony suggested and the rest of the team agreed. When Ziva, McGee and Abby had left, Tony headed to his room, ignoring Gibbs who was still standing in his kitchen, thinking along the same lines of the others. He pulled off his clothes in the bathroom, threw them into the hamper and climbed into the shower after adjusting the temperature. He had soap in his hair when he heard the shower door open and he smiled as Gibbs climbed in behind him and took over washing his hair. Once he was done, Tony switched places with the older man and watched him wash, feeling what he had just got back as well as what he was receiving. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the shower wall and closed his eyes but they opened a moment later when hands grabbed his hips and jerked him forward, lining him up against Gibbs'.

"Don't think about it, it will be over sooner than you think," Gibbs said before kissing him.

When they arrived at IHOP a half our later they found the other's waiting for them, sitting in a booth and they crammed in on the ends. They spent two hours there talking and laughing and trying to ignore the fact that most of them weren't going to be seeing each other for a while. When it came time to go, they said goodbye in the parking lot, Gibbs was going to give him a ride to the base without the others.

"Give Burt a hug for me," Tony said, hugging Abby tightly, she was trying to hold back her tears, "keep an eye on both McGee and Gibbs, all right?" he said giving her one more squeeze and pulled back, wiping her face of tears that had escaped.

"Ziva," he said, holding out his hand to her, "take care," he said sincerely, "I expect to see you back as soon as I am, but not before," he threatened wagging a finger in her face.

"You're an idiot," she said before taking his hand and pulling him into a hug, "you take care of yourself as well," she said quietly into his ear.

"I will," he said and returned the hug before pulling back and turned to McGee who raised his hand in a shake, but feeling that wasn't enough, Tony nearly tackled him to the ground in a hug.

"Really Tony?" the other man griped and Tony grinned and hugged him tighter.

"Really Tim," he said and felt the other man's arms come up around him, "I know you won't be there, but keep an eye on Gibbs and Abby, run back ground checks on all of his team, threaten them if you have to, just watch his six, all right?"

"Wouldn't dream of doing anything else," McGee said and Tony pulled back and looked at the three of them before he gave them a watery smile.

"See you guys later," he said and saluted, turned on his heel and marched to the car, knowing if he looked back he'd lose it.

When he and Gibbs arrived at the base, they parked and sat in silence for a long moment, neither knowing what to say.

"You know, no one is going to be as good as me, the new people will drive you crazy, get your coffee wrong, be annoying, won't be experienced, that sort of thing," Tony said, not turning towards the other man, just staring out the windshield.

"What's your point DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, sounding amused.

"My point," he said, turning to the older man, "is that I can probably give you a thousand reason's why you should get me back asap."

"Tony," Gibbs said, reaching for Tony's hand, "I don't need a thousand, you won't be out there forever, I'm not sure they'll be able to stand me," he said and Tony grinned.

"You are very good at scaring everyone away," he agreed.

"Except you," Gibbs pointed out and Tony laughed.

"Well, I'm stubborn, have to be when it comes to you. I must have softened you a bit, you haven't been able to get rid of Tim or Ziva."

"I like to think of it as, you're more of a buffer between us," Gibbs said, squeezing the other man's hand.

"Makes sense," Tony said and glanced at the clock in the car. "I should get going," he said reluctantly and Gibbs sighed.

"All right, you'll understand if I don't walk you to your flight," he said, and Tony nodded.

"I'll contact you as soon as I can," he said and squeezed Gibbs hand, wanting nothing more than to lean over and kiss the older man but instead, climbed out of the car and opened the backseat where he had stashed his bags and grabbed them. Leaning into the open passenger door he smiled at Gibbs and took a deep breath.

"Take care of yourself," he said and Gibbs nodded once.

"You too," he said and Tony gave him a quick smile and stood, closing the door and walking towards the waiting plane.

Gibbs was still there long after it left.