Morning found Helen curled up on a love seat, deep in contemplation as she gazed unseeingly at nothing. Only once before in her life did she have to make such a weighty decision that would undoubtedly affect the rest of her life. And that decision to save the Sanctuary Network had cost her Ashley, the life of her daughter.
Now it was her own life she was risking. To once again take the Source Blood within her blood stream, and potentially turn into a vampire.
Or the specially prepared dosage could produce an adverse reaction or complication and Helen could die an excruciatingly painful death. Oh, and there was the fact that the injection could drive her mad with pain – like it had almost done to Nikola all those years ago.
A small part of her could now relate to how Nikola felt months ago when his vampirism was ripped from him, leaving him feeling bereft and floundering. But it wasn't so much her longevity that Helen was attached to, it was what she would be leaving behind in the possibility of her death. Her Sanctuaries were once again under fire; the Abnormals she spent over a century trying to protect were in danger. There was Will, her young and brilliant protege, still so un-experienced. Henry and Bigfoot, her family for the past few years. Kate, the former-mercenary-for-hire still trying to find a place in the world.
And Nikola...
Would he survive her death? He and John, the last of The Five. Helen laughed silently. And at one point not to long ago, with Nikola being de-vamped, Helen had thought she would be the last one standing. Her laughter faded as blue-gray eyes that sparkled mischievously, a grin capable of charming deviousness, soft electrified hair, filtered into her mind.
A tear slipped down her face. Helen had just found love with Nikola. Her heart, long shut away from those kinds of feelings since John's madness, blossomed once again under Nikola cheeky smile and tender hands. Bare weeks spent in this new-found love was hardly enough time – it would never be enough. This decision that felt like mountains on her shoulders threatened to take it all away. If she died, Nikola would be left alone, again, blessed with his vampiric abilities, but cursed to eternally walk his life without her.
Getting up, Helen walked over to the full-length windows and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. What was she supposed to do? Say yes and hope for the best? To take part in preserving one of the greatest Abnormals to walk this earth? She laid a hand against her stomach. Her own children...
Under watchful eyes, her children would grow up and adjust to life as vampires walking amongst humans. To learn to curb their blood-lust and violent tendencies. Nikola would be able to teach them.
Say yes and die? Her own body would turn on her and kill her with complications was the first possibility. The second was to succumb to madness in pain, the vampiric blood overwhelming her, causing her to lash out in insanity. Forcing the others to kill her while Nikola watched on in horror.
"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered, agonized. The sky was blue, reminding her again of Ashley's eyes. "What am I supposed to do?"
It was her life, but her death would have far-reaching ramifications. Could Helen go through with this, trusting those she left behind to carry on without her? Could she inflict that kind of pain on the people she cared about, like the pain she still felt after Ashley?
The utter frustration of the same questions running around her head with no answers had Helen slamming a fist against the glass. Why did this have to be so damn difficult? Helen felt tears welling up, and that same frustration caused them to fall over onto her cheeks. "What am I supposed to do?"
The sky gave her no answers. Her mind was a wreck. Time was ticking.
Pounding against the glass again, with tears of distress falling, Helen slid to the floor, no closer to an answer than she was last night.
From the doorway, Nikola watched Helen crumple in despair. The shake of her shoulders from her silent sobs tore at him.
Clenching his jaw, Nikola crossed the floor, knowing exactly how hard this decision was for her. It was hard for him as well. How could it not be? He could lose the woman he loved with every fiber of his being. The woman he thought, wondered, and fantasized about for more than a century and to finally have her within his arms, loving him back, only to risk losing her was killing him.
Becoming a vampire, a full pure vampire had been a dream of his, so how was it, that his two greatest hopes were becoming reality and he was feeling nothing but anxiety and despair. He would gladly become a vampire, but never at the expense, at the high cost of losing Helen forever.
With no regard to his tailored pants, Nikola knelt beside his love and pulled her into his arms.
Her hands muffled her cries and he pulled them away to look at her.
Red-rimmed eyes that glistened with moisture stared helplessly up at him. "What am I supposed to do?" Helen gazed at him beseechingly, as if pleading Nikola to tell her. Something he could not, would not do. He guided her head to rest against his chest, and they stayed there in that uncomfortable pose, seeking comfort in the other.
"A part of me wants to say yes," Helen wept. "To help save them, I want to say yes." Her hand clutched at Nikola's shirt. "But I might lose you. If I say yes, I might..."
"Die." Nikola finished her sentence in an agonized whisper. "And knowing that tears me apart." He held her closer, Adam's apple bobbing erratically. "If I lost you, I would die inside. Not after I've finally got you. To lose you...my heart couldn't take it."
Helen looked devastated at his words. "What am I supposed to do?"
Tangling his fingers into Helen's brunette locks, Nikola pressed his lips against her hair, staring up at the sky. "It would kill me in all the ways that mattered if this went wrong." He blinked, trying to stop the surge of horrific images of Helen's dead body his mind conjured up. "Marko has done the research, conducted the experiments...Helen," Nikola whispered fiercely into her hair. "I love you. And I'm scared like nothing else that this will go wrong. I'm a man in love with the woman of his dreams, who wants nothing more than to protect her from harm."
He pulled away and cupped Helen's wet face. He searched her eyes. "But you and I, we are also scientists. The combination of the two best and brightest minds this world has ever seen. Everything about this is virtually unknown, but we can try to make sure that this doesn't go wrong, that it is a success instead. You and I, with Marko's research, can make this work. You did it once before, with the Source Blood. You offered us the choice, and we took it.
"Alain, Marko, the others. They're offering us the choice again. I can't make this decision for you," Nikola breathed deeply and pushed past his fears of Helen dying to offer her a meek, encouraging smile. "We took a leap of faith that night. I'm willing to take another, and hope for the best." He tenderly kissed her forehead. "For better or for worse, Helen Magnus, whatever happens, I am always with you." Nikola's eyes blazed with sincere intensity as he vowed again, "I love you. I will never leave you and I will always be with you."
Shaking inside at his words, Helen turned her head to glance at the sky, not a cloud in sight, and her eyes searched for something in the brilliant blue.
Still enclosed in Nikola's arms, she turned back to him. "Yes."
Her heart and her breath stopped. It was done.
The snakes hissed in annoyance as they weaved to and fro in a hypnotic manner on top of the Gorgon's head. She shut off the vid-phone with a slender hand in the midst of Wexford's rant with a hissed, "I've heard this all before. My answer remains the same."
She gracefully slithered over to the stack of reports that she had been reading when Wexford interrupted her and taking a glance at the pile that never seemed to shrink, the Gorgon murmured, "I'm going to need some Mavrodafni."
Her sea-green eyes seemed to illuminate from within and a cup-holder of pens suddenly turned to stone. The gorgon sighed at the sight, and abandoned the reports. She was in too angry a mood to work.
What was Wexford thinking? Demanding a meeting of Heads to discuss Helen's tenure as head of the Sanctuary Network. Everyone who worked at a Sanctuary owed her. As far as the Gorgon knew, Helen had not only created the network, but financed it as well. Insolent man, the venomous snakes on her head seemed to hiss.
The Gorgon had been around a lot longer than he and seen his ilk before. Power-hungry. She sniffed. Just like a man to chafe under a woman's rule, always thinking that he could do better. The Gorgon had lived through times like those in her native Greece.
Wexford wanted to impose strict regulations about Abnormals. Which ones to offer a home to and which ones had to be destroyed for the better of mankind. Like Big Bertha. If Helen said she took care of it, why continue to fuss? The Gorgon lifted her shoulders in a shrug, slithering down to the lab.
There was a time when Gorgons were considered monsters too. Dangerous and only good when dead. Did Wexford want to exterminate her too? Wondering idly how many other house heads Wexford had contacted behind Helen's back. The Gorgon sniffed again. Coward. That's all he was. A power-hungry coward.
It was simply a shame her powers of petrification did not work across vid-phones. And The Gorgon made a mental note to contact Helen soon and inform her to start expecting waves of political trouble crashing her way.
Chiska and Roze were overjoyed when Helen and Nikola walked into the hall, holding hands, and announced that she would go through with the injection. Alain merely smiled as if he knew Helen had planned to say yes all along.
Marko bustled them down to the lab. The research was as good as it was going to get. Four hours pouring over Marko's sheafs of papers and charts did nothing to calm Helen's nerves. James' voice kept ringing over in her head on that night so long ago.
'The side-effects are completely unknown.' The entire situation was unknown and there was no answer to be found in this mound of data.
Nikola and Marko had long left Helen to her devices, knowing that what she was looking for was not there. Helen would, in James' words, have to 'sprout wings and hope to fly'.
When she finally emerged, and conceded defeat, everyone was waiting patiently; Chiska with a cup of tea. After taking a sip in a futile attempt to calm her nerves, Helen failed in giving an assured smile.
"Shall we do this?"
What she lacked in confidence, Nikola more than made up for in pure reckless fervor. He set his empty wine glass down and reached for her arm. "There's already a room set up for me down the hall."
Only Marko and Alain accompanied them down the hall and Helen gave Nikola an uneasy glance.
"It's safer for me to go first, Helen. We are, in effect, merely revamping me and this way, you can monitor my reactions as it happens to set your mind at ease." Nikola grinned at her. And he wasn't about to let her go first. If something did go wrong, it wouldn't be Helen's life at risk. But Nikola didn't say that.
The room was white and sterile, not unlike her own medical lab back home, but Helen had never viewed the white gurney bed with straps with such trepidation before.
Hopping up onto the bed, Nikola shot her his usual grin, trying to calm the nerves he could see beneath Helen's calm exterior. Lying back, Nikola felt Helen take hold of his hand and he squeezed it in excitement.
He couldn't help it. To be a vampire again, a pure-blooded one at that. It was one of Nikola's greatest wishes come true. That Helen was standing next to him, worry and anxiety warring with the obvious love in her eyes for him was another.
For everyone's safety, Nikola let Marko and Helen secure his wrists and ankles with a solid titanium band keeping his chest down. It was uncomfortable, but from the foggy haze of memories Nikola could recall from the first time, he knew it was needed. Only this time, Helen was with him, throughout it all. He had locked himself away and suffered in silence the first time Nikola felt the shifting changes within. He caught her eye and they shared a brief, unspoken moment before Marko approached. A syringe filled with viscous dark red liquid, with black metallic swirls streaking through it.
"Are you ready?" The vampire looked at both of them.
"Wait." Nikola halted Marko and took a small breath, squeezing Helen's hand again. "If you don't mind, Marko, I'd like to have Helen do the honors," he smirked at her, "just like the last time, right love?"
She looked at him and gave a small smile.
"Kiss me? Just in case." Nikola flashed a grin at her. His eyes showed no fear at anything going wrong. Why should it? He was merely re-vamping himself.
Nevertheless, Helen frowned at him. "You're not exactly instilling confidence in me here." But drawn to his mischievous eyes and irresistible grin, Helen dipped her head to hover over his lips, swerving at the last moment to peck his cheek lightly.
"Tease."
Accepting the syringe from Marko, Helen took a deep breath. Positioning the needle at the crook of his elbow, Helen glanced one last time at him, in a reversal of the first time, and asked silently if he was ready.
Nikola's smirk remained as his eyes glittered with excitement.
That smirk vanished as the needle pierced his skin and Nikola's eyes slammed shut.
A/N: *mutters frustratedly* Stupid fanfiction and their stupid page breaks...Thanks for reading! ^_~