A/N As always Reviews are appreciated and welcomed...so are ideas.
Laying in the Hospital bed, I felt worse than any time in my life. Everything had started to crumble beneath me and I couldn't help but cry. First my Grandmother is a hair width away from death and now my unborn baby has died. I kept thinking back to yesterday, when I had the pains. I should have just told someone or even went to the Doctor straight away. I shouldn't have ignored it but how was I to know. By the time I did, it was too late and I'd lost a child I would never see again.
Rolling to my side in the bed, the sheets ruffled as I tried to get comfortable. Sniffling, I wiped my eyes as I heard the door open "Good morning" greeted James, although barely a whisper. Breathing a breath of air, I didn't have the energy to speak. I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget this ever happened "Brought you a Bagel" he said holding up a paper bag "I know the foods not that great here" still not replying, he put the bag down on the table next to my bed.
Sighing he took off his jacket and sat down on the cream coloured chair near the window. I told the Nurses and James to keep the blinds shut, I couldn't handle the light. Watching him roll up his sleeves, he sat there with his hands on his knees; staring off into oblivion "I want to go home" I said, my voice a husky whisper. I hadn't used it in days. I was too afraid if I opened my mouth, all that would come out would be choked sobs.
Looking at me, he shook his head lightly in protest "You can't go home yet. The Doctor said you're still bleeding. They need to make sure you're okay" pulling the covers up over my body, I had suddenly gotten cold "Adeline…talk to me" he said with a begging tone. Getting up from his chair, he bend down until he was eye level with me "…the Nurse said you won't eat. Why?"
"I'm not hungry" I said rolling to the other side of the bed, putting my back to him. I didn't want to talk anymore.
Pulling on my stockings, James had brought me fresh clothes. A few days later, the Doctor decided I was healthy enough to leave. Walking out of my room, we made it from the Ward to the car in a few quick steps. I wanted to get out of here as quick as I could. Opening the navy blue door, I sat down on the leather seat. Getting in beside me, James started the car.
Mid-day, I watched as the sun blared in the sky and the trees rustled in the wind. Driving in silence, we didn't utter a word as we travelled down the road. I felt so alone, the world outside of me and James didn't know what I had gone through. How much pain I was feeling as this moment. Turning left at the lights, I realised we were going back to his apartment "I want to go home" I said looking ahead at the road.
"That's where were going" replied James. Putting two hands on the steering wheel after changing gears.
"I meant my home…I don't want to go back to your apartment" I didn't want to see that place, that bathroom. I just wanted to go back home to where I belonged. The car slowed down as James pulled up on the side of the road.
"I'll take you back to your place but I won't leave you alone" he said not looking at me. There were only a few people casually walking down the footpaths, so there wasn't a crowd listening "I know you must feel-"
Cutting him off I interjected "You don't know what I feel James…I just want to be left alone" I snapped. Everything was starting to rise again, bubbling against my skin.
Slamming his fist down on the steering wheel he yelled "It was my baby too Adeline!" his voice raised in the confined space "But you don't think about that do you!?" he continued to sneer, his face livid.
Letting a tear slip from the crease of my eyes, I waited a few minutes in silence. Wiping my eyes Igot out of the car and started to walk down the footpath. I didn't get very far when I heard the car door slam behind me. Listening as James came marching after me, he ran his fingers through his hair "Adeline!" he said bellowing my name "Get back in the car"
Ignoring him I continued to walk when he grabbed onto me and spun me around. Slapping him in the face, his cheek turned an inch to the side "Let go of me" I said with a sneer.
Pulling me into his chest, he clutched on as I tried to wriggle out of his grip. I couldn't help it at that point. Letting out streams of tears, I cried as I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't ever want him to let me go "I'm sorry" he said, kissing the top of my head.
Looking up into the familiar mirror in my bathroom, I spat out the toothpaste flavoured water into the sink. Wiping my mouth on a towel, I walked back into my bedroom. James, true to his word had partially moved into my house to 'look after me'.
Decided after yesterday when we got back from the Hospital, I'm going to take off a few days. I didn't tell them the reason just that I wasn't feeling well. I didn't want people condoling me with sympathy. I still felt sore and I needed time to get myself together. Pushing back the covers so I could get in, I retreated back to the warmth of my bed.
Despite the small fight me and James had on the way back from the Hospital, we still stuck together. I had been too busy pushing away everything and not dealing with it, that I didn't realise I wasn't the only one. It had hurt both of us and the more I looked at James, the more I realised how much it affected him. He stopped being his chipper self, he went out a lot, would never tell me and came home all hours of the night. We don't even eat dinner together anymore.
I had drifted off to sleep for a few hours, when I heard the door to the apartment creak open. Waking myself from the groggy state I had been in, I wiped my eyes to get the fuzz out of my vision "It's only me" said James as he looked at me from the edge of the bed, where he sat.
Getting onto up onto my elbows I looked at him "What's wrong" I said as he had a sad expression on his face.
"Nothing…just a long day at work" he said while rubbing his hands down his face. Leaning back on the bed, his head snuggled into my lap. Furrowing my brows into a crease I ran my fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes. I knew it wasn't nothing, he just never like people to know how he felt. Like all men, they guarded their feelings.
"James…what's wrong. You can tell me?" I said, giving him time to answer. Being honest with myself, I felt worried about what he might tell me. Did something happen? Did he get fired? Or did he genuinely just have a bad day?
"…when you were in Hospital I got a phone call…Your Grandmother past away"
Empty. That would be the word that I would describe myself to be. No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I couldn't wrap my mind around how bad things had turned out. It wasn't the fact that I didn't know she had only a few days at best to live. I knew that when I went to visit her that day. Scrunching my eyes, I just didn't think that day would be the last time I saw her alive. Coming up behind me, I didn't realise he was there until I felt the brush of his fingers on my arm. Looking up into the full length bedroom mirror, James stood dressed in a black suit, vest and tie.
Grabbing the zip on the back of my black dress, he pulled it up to seal it closed. Pulling on my arm, he sat down on the edge of my bed and tugged me down onto his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, we sat in a few minutes of silence "I'm not ready" I spoke.
Holding me tighter he replied "I know…but you have me and I'll never leave you. I promise"
'He will though' I thought to myself.
The service was long as we stood under the cloudy sky, the weather turning a slight grey. Standing in the crowd, I had already said my eulogy in memory of my Grandmother – Sheila. Looking around there were very little people; me, James and a few others from Parsons, including Margery. Giving them half smiles, I thanked them as they gave their condolences. I knew they all meant well, they all loved my Grandmother. She was one hell of a women, that's for sure and she lived her life to the fullest.
Looking down at the casket, the others had started to leave the cemetery and James was listening not far away as they spared him few words. I watched quietly as the funeral people gathered the chairs and wound the coffin down into the plot – right next to Grandad. Just like she wanted. I was happy knowing she wasn't suffering anymore and that they were together again, it gave me peace "…Addie?" looking up from the wooden box, I knew that voice. The blood in my veins froze as I looked up to Darren – my brother.
Glaring at him from across the plot, there he stood brunette hair groomed and his suit perfectly pressed. The Hospital or Parson must have told him about her death. Standing a few feet away from me, he stood with his hands in his pockets, giving me a slumped smile "What the hell are you doing here?" I sneered. There was no way he would dare show his face – not now. I hadn't told James of the family dispute between me, Darren and my Grandmother and I intended to keep it that way.
"Listen Addie-" he said quickly as he held his hands up as I started to get angry. Taking a step few steps to reach me, I took one back so that there was still some distance between us.
"Don't ever call me that…you lost that right when you stole the money" I said reminding him of the misdeed he caused. With the enormous sum he had robbed my family of, Darren moved from Brooklyn, lived the lap of luxury and never spoke to us again.
After all these years, he now was the time he wanted to show his face. I wonder where that 'wife' of his was, Mira. Just like him, she had a heart of ice and wasn't shy in taking what she wanted. They were the 'perfect' couple. Coming from a rich family that was all it took to attract him to Mira's engorged family.
"I know what I did was wrong but I'm here to say I'm sorry, okay. I fucked up…I just want to come home" he said looking at me like a wounded Bull. If it were anyone else, they would have believed it but I knew my brother better than he thinks.
"…What, the house?" I said squinting at him accusingly "That's what you're here for" I was so close to punching him in the face, of course that was the reason why he's here. Now that Grandma is dead, the house will have to be given to whoever was written in the will "…over my dead body. You take one step or even so much as look at that house…you'll be the next one pushing daisies" I threatened. There was no way he was going to take the house, all he'll do it sell it.
"Is everything okay?" spoke the voice of James, as he came to stand behind me protectively. Looking between us he asked "Who's this?"
"I'm her brother, Darren. Who the hell are you?" snarled my brother at the interruption. There he goes again, getting angry. One thing everyone knew was that Darren had an uncontrollable temper.
"I'm her boyfriend" said James, coming to stand closer to me.
Putting a fake smile on Darren said "Well if you don't mind" while gesturing with his finger "fuck off…I'm trying to have a conversation with my sister" looking back at me he continued "That's MY house! I own it and I'm going to get it one or another. So sign the paper and I'll leave you with alone with Mr. CharmingandHandsome…deal" he said while grabbing the folded paper from his jacket.
Giving him a look, it took me a second to process what he just said "What? Why do I have to sign papers?" I asked while giving him a strange look.
"Oh come on. You don't really think that old bitch would leave me with the house. Of course not" he scoffed while grabbing a pen from his pocket "She left it all up to you…precious little Adeline. For what, I don't know" he continued "…it's not like you'll be needing all that space. You can't even have kids" gasping, my throat went tight and shrivelled back into my weak self.
It took a split second for James to come from behind me and swing an awful hard punch into Darren's face. Hearing the sickening crack, I watched as Darren fell to the ground with a bloodied and broken nose. Clutching his wound, Darren sat up on the grass and tried to stop the bleeding "Talk to her like that again and I'll break your neck" he said while coming back to me. Reaching around my waist with his hand, I took one last look at Darren's collapsed form before we left.