Okay, so I'm back at school tomorrow and I have exams and other boring stuff, so unfortunately that probably means that I won't be able to update this, so I've wrote this to hold you over, and TWO songs for you, Emily's been busy. The songs are: Lana Del Rey (Carmen) and Keaton Henson (Flesh and Bone) so listen to them while your reading. Enjoy and Review.

The light hit Emily centre stage and the crowd went crazy with excitement, Emily looked over the crowd, speaking into the echoing microphone, the crowd cheered after every sentence. She felt alive, electric; the blood ran through her small body and gave her a rush of excitement. The band started with their instruments, as Emily stood at the microphone ready to sing.

Darling, Darling, doesn't have a problem
Lying to herself cause her liquors top shelf
Its alarming honestly how charming she can be
Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun

She says she don't want to be like me
Don't wanna see all the things i've seen
I'm dying, I'm dying
She's says she don't want to get this way
Famous and dumb at an early age
I'm lying, I'm lying

The boys the girls they all like Carmen
She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes
She laughs like god, her minds like a diamond

Buy her tonight; she's still shining
like lightning, like lightning.

Carmen, Carmen, I'm staying up till morning
Only seventeen, but I walk the streets so mean
It's alarming truly how disarming you can be
Eating soft ice cream, Coney island queen.

She says she don't want to be like me
looking for fun, getting high for free
I'm dying, I'm dying
She's says she don't want to get this way
street walk at night, and a star by day
it's tiring, tiring

The boys the girls they all like Carmen
She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes
She laughs like god, her minds like a diamond

Buy her tonight; she's still shining
like lightning, like lightning.

Baby's all dressed up with nowhere to go
That's the little story of the girl you know
Relying on the kindness of strangers
Tying cherry knots, smiling, doing party favours
Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on
Sing your song, now the camera's on
And your alive again.

The boys the girls they all like Carmen
She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes
She laughs like god, her minds like a diamond

Buy her tonight; she's still shining
like lightning, like lightning.

Darling, darling doesn't have a problem
Lying to herself cause her liquors top shelf.

"I can't believe she would do that" Naomi paced back and forth through the apartment, feeling anger from Emily's song.

"Calm down, Naomi" Freddie said through a cloud of smoke as he sat smoking a spliff. There was a knock at the door, then Effy let herself in.

"What's going on in here then" Effy said placing herself on the armchair next to Freddie stealing the spliff from him.

"Naomi's freaking out about Ems song" Freddie let out, Effy quirked her eyebrow in Naomi's direction.

"That was about you?" Naomi nodded, "Harsh" She stood from her chair and walked towards the door, "Come on I need to show you something"

Effy drove them to a small club, Naomi asked again why they were here, "You need to see how she really feels"

"What?" Naomi asked confused, following Effy into the club.

It was quiet and at the far end of the club was a small makeshift stage where a young man was plucking on a guitar, mumbling words. The majority of the club were around the stage, sat at various tables in front.

Naomi guessed it must be an open mic night, Effy instructed her to stay close to the bar, hidden, while Effy left her to go stand closer to the stage.

Eventually Naomi saw Emily take the stage, holding an acoustic guitar and sitting on a wooden stool, she readjusted the microphone and said a quiet "hi" to the audience.

She began strumming the guitar and sang very differently than the night before.

Her voice was relatively weak but still remained beautiful, pain was obvious and she kept her head in the direction of her guitar and floor, different from when she played at the large club and catered to the crowd.

I am alone, so don't speak
I find war, and I find peace
I find no heat, no love in me

And I am low and unwell
This is love, this is hell
This sweet plague that follows me

And my body's weak
Feel my heart giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
And my body's weak
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
something my soul needs
something my soul needs

And I see a war on the screen,
And it is cruel and unclean
But I still worry more about you

And I am rude and unkind
Have no thought, and have no time
Have no eyes, so no point of view

And my body's weak,
I feel my heart giving up on me,
I'm worried it might just be
My body's weak,
feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
something my soul needs
something my soul needs
something my soul needs

And I am more than this frame,
I feel hurt and I feel shame
I just wish you would feel the same

And I am more than these bones
I feel love, I feel alone
I just wish you would come home

My body's weak
I feel my heart giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
My body's weak,
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
something my soul needs
something my soul needs
something my soul needs

is you, lying next to me.
And it's you, lying next to me.

The harsh reality of the night's events hit Emily like a ton of bricks. She looked over to the bare body of another one night stand resting their head in her shoulder.
She gently pulled away letting the head fall onto the mattress. She went into the bathroom and took a reluctant Look in the mirror. Her make-up smudged, her red hair a mess, sticking up in all directions. She ran her hands under the cold tap and threw the icy water over her face.
She replayed the night in her mind going to the club with every intention of bringing someone back, she replayed the night that had started her downward spiral, the night she took Naomi out, the night Naomi spent with another person that was not Emily.
Every night since then Emily had spent the night with some unfortunate girl that was sent packing hours after they were picked up.
Emily jumped in the shower letting the hot water burn away the sin. When she went back into her room the girl was still flat out in her bed, Emily muttered a 'fuck sake' grabbed her bag and left the apartment, hoping she would be gone by the time of her return.

Emily walked the familiar route through the park and to her therapist's office. She sat down to a waiting Helen, already with her special notebook and trusty pen.

"How are we today Emily" Helen said with a smile.

"Tired" Emily said rubbing her eyes accordingly

"Rough night?" Emily nodded, "so I'll take it hasn't been a successful week?" Helen concluded with sympathetic eyes.

"No not really" Emily had to tell someone about Naomi, she wasn't even going to fight Helen today she was glad to have her here.
"You know" Emily started with a sigh "I finally let someone in and it's just worthless, you spend all that time getting to know someone just to find out that you don't actually know them at all" Emily looked to Helen waiting for her to step in but she stayed quiet, "I mean I don't know her, I know nothing about her, she might as well be a stranger"

"I'm going to assume we're talking about Naomi?" Helen asked regretting to her previous notes.

"Yes, Naomi"

"So what happened? Did you sleep with her?"

"No, no" Emily shook her head; "I mean we kissed a few times, but that's all"

"Okay then what?"

"Then nothing, she's acting like nothing happened"

"Maybe she thought it was a mistake"

"Maybe" Emily said, the reality hitting her, "it's like one minute she's hot the next she's cold"
"we had a really good day together last week, and it looked like she really liked me, so we go out that night and she spends the whole time chatting up some guy"

"It sounds to me like she's confused"

"Well yeah I'm pretty confused too but I'm not ignoring her or acting like I don't know her"

"No your sleeping with other girls to forget about her"

"No" Emily denied.

"Have you spoken to her, about how you feel?"

"Sort of"

"And what does that mean, 'sort of?'"

"I asked her what she wanted and she said we were just friends but she completely freaked when she saw me with another girl"

"You want to know what I think?"

"Yeah?"

"I think Naomi is scared, she has all these new feelings, scary feelings and she doesn't know what to do with them, so you need to give her time"

"Time" Emily scoffed

"Or go and tell her how you feel" Helen shrugged.