A/N: I did say things would get better...and they will...later. But Mike being alive makes things better, right? Thanks for reading...and let me know what you think. It was always my intention to write Mike's side of this story as well, but in a separate fic because I really wanted this to be her dealing with things. I have this fic outlined...has been for almost two months, I'm just having trouble starting it. Because every time I plan to work on it, I start working on other things and don't even open the document :(

Mike made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to be around her, but he hadn't told her not to visit and until he did, she was going to keep showing up.

Paige held her fingers up to her lips, hoping the agents wouldn't wake up Jakes who was sleeping in a chair outside of Mike's room. She was probably being paranoid, there were two federal agents outside of Mike's room. But if Sid got to Mike once, he could get to him again. He killed his entire task force and framed Mike for it. She wouldn't put it past Sid to kill the men guarding Mike. She felt that Mike would be safer if someone from the house was with him at all times. Or maybe she felt guilty. She was a hypocrite. She had been so cavalier with his life and now she was paranoid about him not being left alone. She desperately wanted to make things right between them but didn't know where to start if he wouldn't even talk to her.

She appreciated that Jakes stayed with Mike, but she didn't want to hear a lecture from him. How was she supposed to just let Mike be? She knew he was pushing her away, but the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was giving up on him. She could fight with him tomorrow. Besides, he was sleeping right now. He wouldn't even know she was here. It was late or early, depending on how you looked at things. According to the nurse, Mike had a sedative a few hours ago and he would still be asleep for a few more hours before it started to wear off.

Paige quietly slipped into Mike's room, being careful not to make any noise. She didn't want to risk waking him up, she just wanted to watch him sleep.

It was still so surreal that he was alive. The past week had been hell thinking that he was dead. She wanted to kill Briggs for telling her that Mike was dead when he knew perfectly well that he wasn't. She was mad at Mike too. But at least he had the excuse of being angry with her. Briggs didn't have an excuse. Only that it fit better with whatever his plan was.

Paige sat down in the chair next to Mike's bed, content to watch him sleep for a while. Even though she had seen him earlier, she was still in disbelief that he was alive. She had never understood the fascination Mike had with watching her sleep. She supposed it was the romantic in him. There was a sweetness about it, a sentimentality she had never understood the necessity of until now.

Her eyes slowly opened and she snuggled deeper into his embrace as he quickly shut his eyes. "I saw you. I'm a trained federal agent, I see everything." She pressed her lips to his chest. "Freak." If the weirdest thing Mike liked to do in bed was watch her sleep, she could deal. Although, she would have to see if there were weirder things he liked to do but hadn't told her yet.

"You're beautiful," Mike murmured, lightly tracing his fingers along her spine. "Your fault."

Paige laughed as he pulled her closer, "How long have you been awake?"

Mike pressed his lips against hers, "Not long."

"It's early."

"Too early?" Mike asked, his hands wandering beneath the sheets.

"Never," Paige whispered, wrapping her arms around Mike's neck, okay with being up this early if it meant his lips were on hers.

She must've been staring at him for at least an hour, if not longer, but each breath he took reminded her that he was real. This wasn't some dream she was going to wake up from and he wouldn't be here when she awoke. This wasn't some nightmare or hallucination where he was dying or tormenting her. This was real. Mike was real. She hesitantly reached out, gently placing her hand over his heart so she could feel his heart beating. She carefully watched him, wanting to be sure she didn't disturb him. She was grateful he was sleeping. That meant his eyes weren't full of hatred when he looked at her. She could just pretend this was a stolen moment where she was watching him sleep, only she didn't want him to catch her. There would be no teasing eye roll followed by a good morning kiss that would quickly turn into more. No. None of that. If he caught her watching him sleep, his eyes would harden and he'd order her out of his room. Too weak to throw her out, he would probably have to ask one of the agents in the hall make her leave. Paige blinked back tears, checking her watch, wanting to be sure she left before he woke up. She had about an hour before his sedative started to wear off.

Paige reluctantly pulled her hand away from his chest, "I'm sorry," Paige whispered. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry."

This was the second time Mike ended up in the hospital since being at Graceland. Once last summer, and now. Both times they fought when he woke up. She left his hospital room in tears both times. But what she did paled in comparison to finding out he was investigating Briggs.

"Paige, I'm just trying to tell you the truth here."

"I can't be here right now." Her head was spinning. She had asked Mike to come clean with her so many times, knowing he was holding something back, but she never expected this to be his secret. Never expected him to tell her that he was investigating Briggs. Who was Mike Warren? Was he a rat? The rookie she had been hanging out with all summer? Or someone else entirely?

"Paige, wait, please, just - "

Why did both of them have to be so stubborn? Why did she have to push Mike away when he wanted to talk? She did it again and again. She shut him out completely after he got her out of Sulla's. If she had just listened to him, tried to understand his reasoning, maybe things wouldn't have gotten so fractured between them. Maybe he wouldn't have felt like he had to lie to her.

Maybe.

If only.

Things went wrong in so many ways that it was impossible to pinpoint the exact moment and she could drive herself crazy wondering how things would've turned out if one of them had made one different decision. Reacted differently. Listened.

Her heart started beating faster and she closed her eyes, trying to ward off another panic attack.

Breathe.

She counted to five as she slowly released a breath. The last thing she wanted was for Mike to wake up and not only find her in his hospital room, but to find her having a panic attack in his hospital room. He'd find out about them eventually, the whole house knew. She didn't want him to know how hard this had been on her, even if it could get her some sympathy and compassion from him. Because he didn't owe her anything.

Paige slowly opened her eyes, smiling softly as she looked at Mike. He was here. Alive. He hated her, but he was alive. Her heart stopped racing and she breathed a sigh of relief because she avoided a panic attack.

Mike couldn't freeze her out forever, could he? Well, he could. Especially if he went back to DC. She had zero chance of fixing things between them if he went back to DC. Forget about their relationship, she wasn't even sure if their friendship was salvageable if he stayed, but she had to try. The easy thing to do would be to give Mike what he wanted. Keep her distance. Move out of Graceland as planned. Put her head down and get back to work. Try to forget Mike Warren even existed if that was what he really wanted.

But she loved him.

She couldn't forget about Mike, even if she tried. He mattered to her. It didn't matter that they never technically dated. Or that they were only together a few weeks. Whatever was going on between them started the night they met. Mike wasn't just some one night stand that she hooked up with one night and kept sleeping with because it was convenient.

He was Mike.

The rookie FBI agent she met in the bathroom of a karaoke bar. The asshole that returned from DC a year later. The deer to her headlight. The man that broke her heart and everything in between.

It would be easier to give up. But she gave up on Mike once. She wasn't going to make that mistake again. She would move to DC if she had to. She had thought about it before. Oddly, she thought about it before she and Mike got together. Because Graceland felt so empty after Mike moved out. But she felt pathetic for even entertaining the idea of moving across the country to follow a man that she hadn't done more than kiss.

Mike looked over his shoulder, before reaching for Paige's hand as they walked further down the beach. "You ever think about what happens after you leave Graceland?"

Paige pulled away from Mike and hugged herself, suddenly feeling chilly on the cool summer night. Leaving Graceland. That wasn't anywhere on her radar, but she couldn't stay here forever. At some point she would have to leave, but she didn't want to think about that now, even if she understood why it was on Mike's mind.

"Sorry," Mike apologized, dropping a kiss on her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "You cold?"

"Better now." Paige looked over her shoulder, smiling at him. "I just - I'm here now. You're here now." She didn't want to think about the future. Didn't want to think about what would happen when it was time for Mike to make his decision when this case was over.

"I know, I wonder sometimes, if - if you've ever thought about the East Coast," Mike quietly said, his unspoken question hanging in the air.

"A little." He said East Coast, but he meant DC. They both knew it.

Mike hugged her tighter, and rested his chin on top of her shoulder. "I - I think about you there too," Mike murmured.

Taking a risk, Paige leaned forward and brushed her lips over his cheek. "Night, Mike," she softly whispered before leaving.

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