Jasper Whitlock

Blocked Number: What are the Cullens up to?

Unknown Number: I thought you didn't care

Blocked Number: I didn't. Just tell me

Unknown Number: Nothing as of yet. Rumor is they're looking for a new pet

Of course they were, I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

Blocked Number: Let me know the moment they grab someone

Unknown Number: Why, so you can let another human die?

Blocked Number: Shut up

Unknown Number: I'm curious, why the sudden change of heart?

Blocked Number: Just tell me when

I put my phone in my pocket. Bella was staring at me curiously from the couch.

"Who were you messaging?" she asked.

"A friend."

"You have a friend?" She was clearly shocked.

"Yes."

"Are they a coven mate?"

"No."

"Do you have a coven?"

"Not really."

"You don't sound too sure."

Why was she asking me these questions? Why was I answering them?

"I have a friend, Peter, and his mate, who I consider as possibly more."

"Where are they now?" she asked. "Will I ever get to meet them?"

"No."

"Why not? Are you embarrassed of me?"

"No." I was, a little, but that wasn't my main issue here. "They drink your kind," I said simply.

"And you don't?" Bella asked. "Your eyes are red, they're duller than before, but still red."

I hadn't fed in a while, I didn't need it often, but I'd have to go soon.

"Why haven't you tasted my blood?" she asked. "Wait, did you do it when I was out? When you were treating my wounds?"

My anger flared. "No. I would never violate you like that."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you."

"You can't keep using that as your reason for everything."

"I can do whatever I want."

"So," she questioned, "you're afraid that Peter and his mate might drink my blood?"

I wasn't. They wouldn't disobey me. I just had to tell them that Bella was my mate and they'd leave her alone.

"It's complicated," I answered.

"I'm not stupid," she huffed.

"I know."

"So, were you messaging Peter?"

"No. Why all the questions?"

"I just want to get to know you better," she said, "I've been stuck on this couch for over a week now and you don't talk much."

"There's not much to say."

"No coven then?"

"It's just me."

She was relieved by this.

"Can we talk about your scars?" she asked.

"What about them?"

"How did you get them?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Umm," she said, "not that, I mean, the vamps that had me, they didn't have any scars, not one single scar that I could see. You have so many. I know other vamps did that to you, but how? Why?"

"I used to fight a lot."

"But why?"

"I fought for territory."

"Why? Did you want to own the most or something?"

"No," I scoffed, "it wasn't my war."

"A war? Were you a soldier?"

"I guess you could say that."

"I don't understand."

"You don't need to."

"I do," she argued, "I want to know all about you."

"It's not pretty, Bella."

"So," she said, "I was taken by four vamps and they kept me for a month doing everything unimaginable to me."

It was the first time she had really spoken about what happened to her. I wanted to grill her more, but now wasn't the time, it was too soon. I needed to wait for her to be ready. She was too fragile. I was still waiting for her to snap, or break, or something. Nothing yet though.

"I was changed for war," I told her, "a war I didn't care about, but I was a soldier, so it was in my nature to follow orders."

"You were a soldier before you were changed?" she asked.

I came over and sat on the coffee table in front of her so she didn't need to crane her neck anymore.

"I was a Major actually," I smiled at the memory. "Youngest Major in the Texas Calvary."

"Do you miss it?" Bella asked. "Your human life?"

"I don't remember much, just the war."

"What war was that?" she asked.

"The Civil War. I was a soldier in the Confederate Army."

"How do you remember that but nothing else?" she asked. "Does time make you forget?"

"No, we have perfect recall as a vampire, we never forget. When we're changed, we lose almost all of our human memories, unless we constantly remember them through the change. I had no idea what was happening to me, so I didn't focus on anything but the burning, but I was lucky, later on, to have my time in the Civil War recounted to me. It was a curious thing actually. After I was changed, maybe a year after, once my newborn stage had worn off and I could think clearly, I found this in my uniform."

I pulled the well-worn piece of parchment out of my pocket and unfolded it. I stared at it for a moment, smiling, before handing it to Bella. It was a sketch of me during the Civil War. One of my soldiers had drawn it. I was sitting against a tree after a long day of battles and I was looking over all my men, well, they were mostly boys. It was one of those rare days where we didn't lose anyone or suffer any major injuries, so I was staring in contentment, smiling lazily.

You had to take your moments as they came because I was reminded, later in my vampire life, that the very next day, we lost four of our own, but that day, perfectly captured in this one sketch, we were all safe.

There were more sketches out there, I had seen some of them, but this was the only one I owned. The others were heavily protected, part of a bigger collection. Maybe one day I'd take Bella to see them. I could recall the few I had seen, in my memory, and I liked remembering how my soldiers looked. They were all dead now, all but one.

"Who drew this?" Bella asked.

"My friend."

"The one you were messaging?"

"Yes."

"Oh." She couldn't take her eyes off the sketch. I looked younger, not hardened by the vampire war, not scarred. "I like your blue eyes," she told me, "they suit you."

"Yes, just as your brown eyes suit you."

Bella tinted pink. "They're just common brown."

"Yes, and mine were common blue."

"That's not the same," she tried to argue. It was pointless.

"Can you tell me more about the Civil War?" Bella asked. "Or the vampire war you were in? Did that one have a name?"

"It had several," I told her, "but it was most commonly known as the Southern Vampire Wars. I was part of the second war, we adopted ways to stay undetected as the first war was a disaster and everyone was annihilated. As far as I know, the second war is still going, more so down in South America, but I don't keep a close eye on it anymore."

"How did you get out?" she asked. "Why did you get out?"

"Peter," I said simply. "He was the main reason, there were other factors too."

The fact that I realized Maria never cared for me, that she was using me. I struggled with the information for a while, but I ended up killing her. I was so angry at her, I loved her, at least I thought I did, but I was only her puppet. After that, I left. I wasn't ready to tell Bella any of this though.

"Do you miss it?" she asked.

That was a stupid question.

"Do you miss being kept by those vampires?" I countered.

"N-no," she faltered. She was offended, but so was I.

"I don't miss it, Bella. It was hell and I'm glad to be done with it."

But I wasn't, not entirely. Peter and Charlotte were thriving, they were the perfect vampires, they were happy. I never wanted to be like them, I was never really jealous, but now I was. Bella may not want my soft side right now, but she would, once she was healed. I could be soft, I knew that, but my darkness would always slip out.

Thankfully, Bella changed the subject.

"Will I get to meet your friend who drew this?" she asked.

"One day."

"But not Peter and his mate? Why?"

"Because Garrett can be around humans, he has exceptional control."

"When did he get changed into a vampire?" she asked. "Assuming he is one. …Are there other supernatural beings out there or just vampires?"

"He's almost a century older than me, he was changed sometime before 1781."

"Wow, that's old. You're all so old. How old is Peter and his mate?"

"I changed Peter in 1888 and I changed his mate Charlotte in 1938."

"You changed them?" she asked.

"Yes. I've changed many humans, they're all dead now, all except Peter and Charlotte."

"How did they survive?"

"They ran."

"And you let them?"

"I did."

"Why?"

It was a simple question, but the answer was anything but.

"I'm not sure," I told her. "I cared for Peter, and Charlotte was his mate. I could feel their bond, it was strong, they loved each other. I didn't like it, I wanted to destroy it, but Peter just has this way about him. He's… charismatic, that's the best way to describe him."

"Wait," Bella said, coming to some kind of realization, "Garrett was in the Civil War with you but he was changed way before then. He was a vampire when you met." I nodded. "Why was he there then?"

"Garrett, like me, was a soldier in his human life," I told her. "He loves war, he likes to witness it first-hand, I'm not sure why exactly, you would have to ask him, but he's fought in every American war that he's been able to."

"I…" Bella trailed off, "I never knew vampires could be so complex and different."

"There's many different forms," I told her. "There's vampires who live off animal blood, they have golden eyes and they've decided not to hunt humans. There's a man, like Garrett, who has exceptional control, and he's a practicing doctor. We're just like humans, all different. We have our past, we have our future, we have our present."

"So there's good and bad vamps?" Bella asked. I nodded. "Which one are you then?"

I never wanted her to ask this question.

"I'm the worst of the worst," I told her, my eyes never leaving hers.

She paused. I could feel her emotions and then they seeped away before she blocked me again. Bella set the sketch aside and leaned closer to me, grabbing my hands. Our eyes never left each other.

"I was taken by the Cullens," she bravely told me.

"I know."

Pain flashed across Bella's face and she snatched her hands back, moving away from me.

I didn't blame her. I could've stopped it all, but I didn't. I didn't know it was her, but that hardly mattered now. I didn't care about humans, but I cared about her. I couldn't change the past, but I wasn't sure Bella would see it that way and I didn't blame her. She suffered more because of me and now she hated me, I could feel it. She wasn't blocking me, I could feel it all.