DISCLAIMER: the wonderful Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and world of Twilight. I owe her a big thank you for being able to borrow the talents of her fabulous vampires to bring a little cheer to someone very special.
Warning: No lemons today but that fruit may well be picked off the tree very soon!
Music vibe: Alanis Morrissette – Ironic. The purrfect track for this chapter, don'tcha think?!
CHAPTER 10: IRONIC
Yolanda POV
As I gaped at him, Carlisle looked back ruefully. "Well, I did tell you that we're not your run-of-the-mill family!"
"What on earth did you – do you – mean?" I was dumbstruck. How could they know what I was thinking? Are they mind-readers? What on earth….?
"My son Edward has an unusually well developed talent for reading people," responded Carlisle.
"But he barely saw me when I was downstairs. Do I talk in my sleep?"
Dr Cullen and Rosalie chuckled at that comment but didn't elaborate. I was obviously missing a joke somewhere.
"He wants you to not worry about anything for the moment. You need to gather your strength for the days ahead and worrying about negative things will not help you" Dr Cullen's concerned smile was very sweet but he could no more police my thoughts than I could of late.
"Please thank your son for his concern, but my thoughts on my own mortality come unbidden these days, as you can probably appreciate, especially given that I don't sleep much and things haven't been going so well lately."
Rosalie scoffed at what I'd said. "You're not the only one to think about those things, you know."
"Forgive me if I'm being intrusive, but do you also have a family member with a life-limiting condition like me?" I queried. They'd piqued my curiosity.
"No, we don't," said Carlisle quietly, "But that's not to say we're immune to such considerations. In fact, we've had more cause than most to discuss mortality and human frailty."
"I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds as though you've not had an easy life either," I paused for a moment, "However, you still haven't answered my question. How did your son know what I was thinking?"
Rosalie put a hand on Dr Cullen's arm to caution him. "I'm not sure she's ready to hear this, Carlisle. She's had a stressful enough time."
"Thank you for your concern, Rosalie." I interrupted, "but, you've got me intrigued now. I suppose you could say my journalist's nose is twitching."
Dr Cullen and Rosalie exchanged a long glance and both inhaled deeply, evidently worried about what I was going to say next. Newsworthy item alert...radar scanning....
"I wouldn't normally say this outright, but from the little I've witnessed, I've got an inkling you're an unusual family. I hope you won't think me rude if I say there's something other-worldly about you all which I can't put a finger on. I'm a natural observer of people and your body language etc tells me that you're very much on your guard around me. My presence here is causing some tension, for which I can only apologise."
Again, there was another exchange of glances between the Cullens. I pressed on. Oh shit, here goes nothing....can't believe I'm saying this....
"You're not aliens are you? I haven't stumbled on a colony of benign off-worlders, like in Return to Witch Mountain or Cocoon, have I?" I said this jokingly, trying to make light of the conversation.
Rosalie and Dr Cullen's response was to smile with amusement at that remark. They looked almost relieved. That's good. They're relaxing a little.
"Er no...we're not aliens" came the bemused reply, between chuckles, from Dr Cullen. His face had lit up with merriment and his eyes sparkled accordingly. what a devastatingly handsome man........down girl!
"Ok, no pesky aliens."
Thank goodness for that - no problems with probing or rogue spaceships then! If not aliens, then what? Their striking looks and the way they hold themselves suggest they're different from the norm. They make a conscious effort to think before they speak to me.
Rosalie's face was not quite as open but her musical laughter was beautiful. I idly wondered what kind of singing voice she had.
I then concentrated and really scrutinised them in earnest, trying to glean any detail about them which might help me guess what it was they were keeping from me. Come on Yolanda, you used to be good at this. Go with your instinct.
Golden eyes - yes, back to those golden eyes again - pale, almost translucent skin, cold hands, surprising strength in the case of Rosalie, and in the case of their son, a family member who has heightened senses. Cold skin, strange colour eyes, strong, agile, an aura of stillness coupled with the ability to move fluidly at speed which I noticed the other day and which was evident to a lesser degree today. My mind fixed briefly on the image of Alice streaking out of the room to get that first glass of water for me. I can see their lips shimmering as if they're having a private conversation but I can't hear it. It's outside of my hearing.
A stray thought streaked through my head, leaving the spark of an idea. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect they're all vampires…..there are lots of elements which add up to countless authors' ideas of what a vampire would be like. Now THAT would be a story and a half...
One of my secret pleasures had always been reading vampire stories. No professional journalist would admit to this ordinarily, but I found the subject matter fascinating and reading about creatures with super-abilities helped to take me out of myself and my current predicament, not to mention allowing me to take quiet pleasure in the romance and lust that allegedly drove their lives, and which were very much lacking in mine. Chance'd be a fine thing. There's not one of these guys I'd shove out of bed....
I chuckled ironically to myself. Good job they can't hear what's going through my mind....
Right....focus.....where were we? oh vampires.....don't be daft Yolanda. what planet are you on? that's a fey notion there girl – your Irish ancestry is bursting out there, begorrah. what would mum say about that? I can imagine it - a bit o' romance is a good thing but remember to come back to the real world now and then, my girl.
Still......there's no denying this family carries an aura of restrained behaviour about it. Their body language is screaming that they have a secret. I need to ask some judicious questions.
"Not aliens...."I mused, puffing out a sigh. "but not human, right?"
Rosalie's face registered surprise again. Dr Cullen stood absolutely still, watching me like a hawk. The electricity in the room increased perceptibly.
"Not human?" he responded after a pause, pinning me with a steady gaze. I could see his mind working furiously behind his kind eyes.
There was a pregnant pause before I came to deliver my punch-line, but I never actually got a chance to utter the words. Hearing a noise to my right, I saw the young man called Edward quietly slip into the room. "Hang on to your hats - she's already guessed, Carlisle".
That simple statement hit my brain like a thunderbolt.
She's already guessed? What the hell? What - they're vampires?? Oh bloody hell - it's one thing to think it but another to have somebody bloody confirm it. Nooooo!!!! he can't be talking about what I've been idly musing...No, they're taking the mick......hang on a minute.....
"You're vampires? Oh come on! Seriously? You're winding me up!"
"What would you say if we were vampires? Would the idea scare you?" asked Dr Cullen.
I lay my head back on my pillow and chuckled. My chuckling turned to laughter, hysterical laughter. My laughter turned to coughing and I finally spluttered to a halt.
"Oh god, now I know I'm dreaming. My cocktail of drugs has me away with the fairies. This Irish girl is flying! Mind you, I've always dreamed of meeting a vampire."
"I'm glad you think it's funny" said Rosalie, quietly. "I certainly didn't."
Dr Cullen shot her a look of chagrin. "Haven't I apologised enough over the years?"
After taking a sip of water to soothe my throat, I looked at them both with curiosity. There was obviously some subtext going on here that was beyond me. No matter....I hooted with laughter again.
"Oh my, that has made my day! It was worth fainting in the woods just to hear this."
"You seem fairly sanguine about this Yolanda" muttered Dr Cullen.
"Sanguine? Interesting choice of words, doctor!" I said archly, looking up into his intelligent face.
He actually smirked at my riposte. "Touché".
"Actually I'd be tinkled pink – if you weren't pulling my leg, of course. Vampire lore and stories are just one of my hobbies."
"You are not the first human who has learned our secret, Yolanda" Edward was speaking to me directly for the first time. "My wife Bella learned about us 2 years ago."
"Oh please stop it. This is too much. Never thought I'd live to see the day when someone seriously confessed to being a vampire and, believe me, I've interviewed some strange people over the years - no disrespect intended." I chuckled again, shaking my head in disbelief.
Edward looked at me intently. He's a brooding type, quite Byronic. "I could tell you her story if you like, but it might be better for you to meet her yourself".
"I take it she's still human then?" I smiled back at him, not taking this seriously. Ok, I'll go along with this for a while. This is better than morphine for distracting me…either that, or I'll wake up soon…
Edward merely replied "Yes, a good story will always distract the mind and anything is better than drugs isn't it? And no, you are not dreaming."
My jaw fell open at that comment. "Bloody hell, it's true! You CAN read minds! I've gone over to the dark side!"
Dr Cullen, Rosalie and Edward laughed with me. Edward looked chagrined.
"Ok then……prove it!" I challenged.
"What?" they asked in unison.
"Prove you're vampires". I folded my arms and looked at them, unconvinced.
"What would you have us do?" queried Edward.
"Where are your fangs?" Vampires have fangs, right?
"We don't have any, I'm afraid, but our teeth are razor sharp. I could cut through your skin like it was butter." No fangs? Very convenient.
"Do you feed on humans? Am I on the menu?" I asked with more amusement. Do I really want to know?
"No, we choose not to feed on humans, so you're safe with us". Dr Cullen sounded sincere, but then he might as well have said: trust me I'm a doctor.
"How convenient." I muttered, still bemused at their insistence on continuing this charade.
"What about your bloodlust? What's the score where I'm concerned?"
"It's true the smell of you burns our throats but we've learned to tune it out most of the time". Yeah right....
"That still leaves you with the little problem of proving to me that you are what you say you are". I wasn't going to let this go. If they wanted to push the story, then so would I. This week was turning up ever more surprises. It was surreal.
"We're fast on our feet. Would you like a demonstration?" asked Edward.
"Ok, go on then." This should be a hoot. He can run fast. So what? I used to break running records at school.
Edward smirked. Suddenly he was a blur of motion, zooming to the bedroom door and back to his spot beside the bed before I could count to 2. I saw movement, but not detail of what it was.
Fuck me sideways! What was that?
"Well that's something you don't see every day" I murmured to myself.
"Do that again please. I didn't quite catch it."
Edward complied, this time blurring to a stop, ending up seated on the bed right beside me, not a foot from my knee. I didn't even feel him sit down. All I'd felt was a light breeze across my face. My mind was trying to process what I'd just seen. Vampires! Oh good lord, it's true - they're not folklore after all. No, it must be the morphine. I'm hallucinating, surely?
"No you're not hallucinating Yolanda," commented Edward. "But your face is an absolute picture. You remind me of Bella when I first showed her what I could do. I could get her to tell you about that if you'd like."
From the other side of the bed, Dr Cullen reached down to take my wrist, evidently to monitor my pulse. I jerked away instinctively from his touch.
"Oh I'm sorry - I should've asked first". He pulled back from me instantly, looking contrite. I blushed with embarrassment.
At that moment, the bedroom door opened and in filed the rest of the family. I watched with trepidation as a smiling Alice came in, then Dr Cullen's wife, Edward's wife holding the little girl in her arms, approached the bed, followed by the one called Emmett and the blonde lanky young man I'd seen yesterday. Jasper was it?
My heart started to race as they all lined up in a phalanx again in front of me. Oh shit, adrenaline rush! Are they going to attack me? Here I am having discovered the biggest and best story of my life and it's about to end…..oh sod it, I'm feeling a bit woozy again....
"Carlisle" warned Edward, "she's hyperventilating".
"Please don't be alarmed Yolanda," said Dr Cullen, in his hypnotic voice, trying to reassure me. "You're not in any danger. We have foresworn harming humans and have the greatest respect for your kind. Your knowing about us makes things easier in some respects but unfortunately more difficult in others."
From feeling like my heart was going to burst out of my chest, I suddenly felt myself calming down and relaxing back into my pillow, thankful I wasn't going to have palpitations and embarrass myself further in front of my hosts. I took some deep breaths.
"Thank you, Jasper" said Edward, nodding towards him. I looked from one to the other, quizzing a brow at them. What's going on?
"Jasper has the ability to project emotions onto people. We're anxious not to distress you too much in your frail state, and given the shock you've just had, Jasper is taking pains to calm you down" explained Dr Cullen, who had obviously taken pity on me in my ignorance. "I think perhaps we've given you enough news for one day."
Alice separated from the group and darted to my side in one motion. She clasped my hand. "I'm so excited that you know now. I feel sure something good is going to come of this." She smiled radiantly at me.
Wow, she's stunning. I like this girl. She has such a charm about her. Almost fey. There's more to this girl than meets the eye, I'm sure of it.
However, Rosalie snorted at Alice's comment. "Since when has anything good come of a human knowing about vampires?"
Hmmm, definitely a more prickly character, but I sense some underlying resentment. Something is colouring her attitude.
I then registered what Rosalie had just said.
"So what does this all mean for me?" I asked. "I never ever imagined I'd get to see these things for real, but I'm glad I've done it before it's too late. I'd have been pissed as hell if I'd missed out on this by only a few weeks. I only wish I could enjoy it longer."
"Well, Yolanda, as I said, your knowing about us both solves and creates problems". Dr Cullen sat down on the edge of my bed and looked me in the eyes, evidently debating how to proceed. "It means we don't have to pretend anymore in front of you. It also means that you remain welcome as our guest."
"I sense a "but" coming." A sadness descended on me as I anticipated what he might now say.
Dr Cullen hesitated and looked up at the others. Edward nodded at him, as if they were having a private conversation.
Ok, lets take the bull by the horns.
"Dr Cullen, I like directness. I have no time for bullshit at this time of my life. Time's a-wasting. Let me have it straight. I repeat: what does this all mean for me?"
He sighed and continued. "There is one simple rule for a vampire: that is to keep the secret about our kind. Humans are not permitted to exist with knowledge of us. The choice is die or be turned."
I digested this nugget of information for a moment.
"Well, Dr Cullen, one way or another, we all have to die."
A/N: So the secret is out. Yolanda's goalposts have suddenly moved. She has been pondering her mortality for quite a while and now she has immortality to ponder, IF it is offered to her. Faced with that decision, what would you do?