Chapter 9

Nyota

She and Gaila were eating lunch when she saw Professor Spock crossing the quad her gaze drifted from Gaila's smiling face to him. He was wearing his Grey instructor uniform and holding a PADD under one arm, he looked as he always did, perfect in every way…the sight of him reminded her of the night in the tent. "Heloooo, Nyotaa aree youuuu heerreee, Planet Gaila to planet gawking Nyotaaa" Gaila teased distracting Nyota from her observations. "I was talking about education for once, but your precious Spock distracted you so I say we talk about him. More specifically the rumour of you and him doing the expedition together. And by my knowledge we were only issued one sleeping bag and one tent Ny, what happened on that cold mountainside."

Nyota blushed she did not know her survival expedition with Spock had become a rumour half the Academy were speaking about, twisting the story in every way possible, just to create some gossip because in fact she had told no-one about her expedition with Spock so whatever was going around was all made up; she'd not even told Gaila yet! "Sorry Gai, you've got to admit he is distracting especially from that angle. Yes I did do my expedition with Professor Spock, which I was going to tell you about but it seems the campus has made up their own stories I see."

Gaila's eyes lit up, the Orion always loved a bit of gossip. When it came down to it though Gaila was the person Nyota trusted the most she told her everything. "Oooh he is a nice bit of eye candy isn't he. And do tell do tell."

"Well Garth was ill so I was without a partner and instead of putting me into a three, he paired up with me he said 'it is logical'. Then we get to the base camp and he offers me the sleeping bag saying he can do without like a true gentleman. But I said no I'll split the bag and we can share" Nyota paused to let out the squeal a Gail's mouth fell into an 'O' "To my surprise he did not offer a counter argument he just jumped into bed alongside me."

"Oh my god Ny! You've bagged yourself a Vulcan!" Gaila almost shouted

"Shh keep it down it gets better, you know… It was about 2hours after he had laid next to me and I was freezing so I started to shiver, as you do, when I hear him 'cadet' and again 'cadet are you okay' I say yes I'm fine sir just cold…Next thing I know he's wrapped his limbs around me saying it was logical to assure my warmth due to his warmer body temperature! So yes my expedition was 'indeed' eventful." She finished with an ear to ear grin, she would never forget that night. How she longed for it to happen again.

"Well, well, well Nyota Uhura gets herself some Vulcan action. I mean they don't even like people bumping into them or even touching them surely he's got something for you Ny" Gaila added as they rose to place their now empty food trays into the recycler.

"I know, he really does, I just don't know what will happen from here." She said. She wasn't going to tell Gaila about the telepathy that had occurred she knew it would only worry her friend; she honestly did not know what to do. Was she to express everything to him in words? Or was he to approach her? Or do they forget about it?

Spock

"Mother, I am troubled, as troubled as I once was a child. My emotions. I simply cannot control them, they have taken control several times this month, and they are towards a Cadet, a Cadet who these feelings cannot be for. Not only are the emotions illogical in every sense, they are against at least 3 Starfleet regulations, if I do not control myself I will lose my job I will dishonour the whole clan, and endanger the Cadet's future career mother." His voice choked he had not broken down to an emotional mess since his days at the shi' khaar children's education institute. "I do not know what to do." He spoke into the voice recorder, his mother was not present at the Comm console so he recorded and re-routed the message to send as a voice note.

Stepping away from the console he threw his meditation rug down and lit his Asenoi. Sitting in his favoured position he raised his hands up index and forefinger up fingers curled to his palms. He took a deep breath and closed his translucent eyelid.

Regulating his breathing, to deep breaths and slow paced he calmed, slightly. He focused on the Cadet. Nyota, the one he loved, the one he wanted, and the one he could not have. Her hair, her eyes, every eyelash, her height that was accentuated by her stance, the proud dignified walk and her determination, she was career driven, the Enterprise it all came down to that ship. The illogical earth built ship with its ill logically young crew and its captain the brilliant Cpt Pike the most logical choice contradicted the whole ships persona, that ship held Starfleet's pride and therefore his.

Was his father right? He questioned himself, had the human Starfleet corrupted him? Was this why his emotions were out of control? No. He answered in his head; it was him he could not point the blame on an intergalactic organisation that he had chosen to join. It was him, he needed control he needed what he needed all those years ago, his father's guidance.

The thought brought back his memories that he shared with his father. The day he took him to see T'khut rise, the day he entered the shi' khaar institute he remembered his father's pride how Spock had done well. He remembered the days of hover bike riding, the laughter he exerted and how his father had not stopped him, he remembered the words " Spock, you may laugh, you're a child of two worlds I cannot expect you to be truly Vulcan. But I do expect you to only express your emotions privately within our home and with me and your mother. Others will illogically pick on your human side, you must remember. No matter what the circumstances, no matter if I have moved away from you physically or emotionally. I am and will be there for you, never forget this, I may be Vulcan, but son I love you as I do your mother." Sarek had paused as he a 13 year old child hugged his father "son, do not forget this."

Spock came out of his meditative state, he had forgotten this, he knew that he needed his father and Vulcans cannot lie he would contact his father.

Sarek

He was in the Vulcan embassy on earth, working through the night to finish his speech for the diplomatic issue on weapon transportation and research that Starfleet wanted from Vulcan, although it was a completely peaceful race, it did not mean they were defenceless, the high council had ordered him decline Starfleet's request they wanted their arms to be theirs thus allowing Vulcan's defence to stand strong if or when a war broke out. When his aide rung his Comm. He was shocked. He had specifically asked not to be disturbed the matter must be important.

"Sir you have a caller he has been ringing your Comm for three days and I have denied him as you are busy, but he is now outside chiming the doorbell, he claims to be your son?" The aide explained.

Sarek's eyebrows shot up, Spock what would be so important that he contact him after all these years, they had not spoken in eight years, three months and fifteen hours. What would bring his son here? Was he to apologize for his choice towards Starfleet, or was he expecting an apology from himself. Or had something happened although he had not spoken to his son in years and they did not get on he could not deny him, he was his son after all. He had already lost one son Sybok to emotion he would not lose Spock. "Allow him in, and do not disturb us. Thank you T'fult." He addressed his aide as she left the room to let Spock in.

He sat at his desk and awaited his son's arrival. Spock walked in, his son he was now a man, 27 Years old and wearing Starfleet Lieutenant Commander Uniform, hat tucked under his arm, dignified and strong. Maybe Starfleet had been a good choice for his son. "Father,"

"Son, what brings you here? It has been…a considerable amount of time since we last spoke" he replied blankly

"Eight years, three months and fifteen hours precisely father. And I am here by personal choice. And one I think you and I both will dislike but father I need you. I have been a dishonourable son and I do not expect you to comply but I would like to consolidate with you, I wish for your help." His son paused, Sarek was shocked Spock was here for him, his help. Maybe his son forgave him for the hatred that had passed between them. "Father, you once said No matter what the circumstances, no matter if I have moved away from you physically or emotionally." Sarek cut him off finishing the sentence for his son

-" I am and will always be there for you, never forget this, I may be Vulcan, but son I love you as I do your mother." Sarek shocked himself he had not anticipated those words, he thought Spock would never come back to him. "Son, whatever the problem, I am here; you are my son I cannot deny you. We may have not had the ideal relationship but I am here, as I said no matter what the circumstances." He finished allowing his son to explain.

Spock

He was shocked he had thought his father would have denied him and yet here he was about to pour his heart out. He set his hat down on the desk and sat opposite his father in the overly large chair. "Father, I have lost control of my emotions, I cannot meditate without straying to the one person who is the cause of all of my troubles. She is everywhere, in my head, in my heart toying with my logic."

"She?" His father inquired "you have found the one?" Sarek's expression was plain but he had felt his father, he had opened his mental block, their bond flared back to life he felt his Sather's sorrow, his guilt for pushing Spock away and his relief that Spock had come to him. Spock was gratified; he had not expected any emotion from his Father.

"It is more complicated though father, she who I love, I cannot have. She is human, she is Nyota Uhura"

"Why can you not have her my boy? Is she with another? has she no feelings for you?" His father sent worry to his son. Spock knew his father was irritated by his human choice but his father could not say anything, his Father's wife was human. But he knew his next sentence would not be taken as lightly.

"No, she has feelings for me, in fact I have felt them briefly but nevertheless I have felt them, we did not meld, her fingers brushed mine accidentally, and in a survival course my higher body temperature kept her warm in what was a hug"-"logical" his father interrupted "Father she is a Cadet, she is under my command as her professor, I am three years older. It is against regulation." His voice became more grave, as he explained this to his Father.

Sarek

His jaw dropped the Vulcan facade fell and he allowed Spock bear witness to his true emotional side. "Son how did this come to be? These emotions, for someone who is clearly unobtainable?" He could not believe his son, Spock had acted illogical in the past but he now realised why his son had come for guidance. When Sarek had fallen for Amanda she had been under his command but only by her being his aide for social benefits to earth, there was no regulations involved, but it was a similar situation.

"Father this is why I am here, I know how serious this is. I have tried meditation, I have contacted mother and she could not help. This Cadet has caused a great deal of trouble for me, the worst part is she is a most promising cadet. I have brought her ID and information on this PADD. I hope it helps you to understand." his son looked like he was about to cry, the female had obviously been causing his son deep emotional distress.

Reading through the PADD he saw the cadet she was exceedingly aesthetically pleasing and she was equally as intelligent, she was a linguist, like Amanda she spoke well over half of the languages in the galaxy including Vulcan, which apparently Spock had helped her perfect. This would not have helped his son's emotions. He recalled when his feelings for Amanda had grown, when she spoke Vulcan his heart had stopped almost, he could only assume this was Spock's case also. "Very impressive Spock, I see she is indeed very promising and I also see how this causes you more difficulty. Surprisingly though I can relate."

"You can?" His son asked relief flew through the bond Sarek smiled something he had not done in years his son was back; Spock was back.

""Yes Vulcan spoke by the female you love is very troubling is it not?" He answered almost humoursly, despite the severity of his sons concerns he could not help but feel light hearted, his job as ambassador to earth had led him to grow an understanding of Terran wit and humour he would have to elaborate to his son of course.

"Come, we shall meditate. My work can wait family is what is important."

Spock

He left his Father's accommodation at the embassy three hours later than intended. He had not thought his Father would have been so forgiving. He thought his Father would have cast him off, thrown him out in disgust because of his emotions but instead; his Father had been welcoming, he had reformed their former bond and he had helped Spock gain some control.

When he had melded with his Fathers conscience his Father had been riddled with guilt, his Father had felt that it was his fault that he had pushed both Sybok and Spock away, he thought he had been the bad Father. Spock was shocked and he sent his forgiveness to his Father, he reminded him of how Sybok had banished himself, how he had chosen by his own will to leave logic and Vulcan and he reminded him of how it was his choice to go to Starfleet his Father only made it a stronger choice, Spock had already chosen Starfleet over the V-tosh science academy so his Father's input made little difference to the outcome.

Once he had felt his Father calm and their bond had reformed it had been Spock's turn to pour out his heart, not only for his Father but for the Cadet, for Nyota. He told his Father every detail and when he could not explain in words he had sent it through their bond showing him moments that his eidetic memory had saved. His Father had responded in kind. Sending Spock images and emotions that his Mother had elicited within his Father when he had first gotten to know her, how his Father's heart had also fluttered and how his reactions were primitive and on most cases similar to Spock's. This had helped him. His choice to see his Father had been both logical and very useful, Spock was now in control he could think about the Cadet and not turn into a primitive animal. He assured himself he would be able to be within her presence formally without struggle, he felt at peace.

o.O.o

It was Monday the weekend of self-reflection and consolidation was behind him. He was confident in himself. He was in control. He was Vulcan. Only logic dictated. He had a Xenolinguistics class coming up in twenty minutes, a class which would most certainly test his new found control. The class was unlike his Phonology and Physics lectures, it was not held in a giant hall with pitched seating, it was in a normal classroom where he worked with a few Cadets at a time sometimes as little as two or three Cadets and this particular group would be difficult. Not for the ability of the class or behaviour but for his control, the upcoming class consisted of a group of four Cadets: Cadet Riley, Cadet Garth, Cadet U'aidat and Cadet Uhura.

Pushing the thought aside he started to calibrate the five consoles in preparation. He was going to get the four Cadets to scan the deep reaches of space and search on different types of frequencies in different languages to allow them to collect various amounts of data and to report any abnormal results; some of which would be false that he had put in for the Cadets to 'find' and others may well be true occurrences.

Fifteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds later the four Cadets filed in each taking a seat at the consoles provided. At their desks he had provided them with: an earpiece, a PADD, stylus and the console. With these basic tools the cadets would be able to complete their given task with ease. He stood, there she was, the ever tempting Cadet Uhura. –No- he told himself. His logic won out, this class would be a successful reminder that he was in control.

He addressed Cadet Riley first: "Cadet you shall scan on a frequency range of 6557-7655Hz you have one hour to scan the Alpha Beta quadrant, within this hour you must; note down any abnormal results, record where you find any ships and alert me if there are any abnormalities that are either illegal or military based. If you have any queries do ask."

The Cadet placed his earpiece into his left ear and set his console to 6557Hz in the Alpha Beta quadrant "Yes sir." Moving on to Cadet Uhura to set her task he took the mental equivalent of a deep breath, His Father felt his sudden concern and he received reassurance, His Father could tell that it was the Cadet. He had forgotten how strong his bond to his father was.

"Cadet, you shall be scanning the Klingon space. On frequency 8997-10028Hz here you hall find both real and simulated abnormalities. Some of which may need to be reported to Starfleet headquarters. You have one hour." Spock had set Cadet Uhura the most important task, not because of his feelings for her, but because he knew that she was the most capable Cadet for the job, she was top of this set so giving her the hardest most important task had been the logical decision.

She keyed in the information and turned to face him "Yes sir." She held her gaze on him for three seconds longer than necessary before spinning on her chair to start her work. His heart faltered for moments before he moved onto Cadet Garth who had fortunately recovered from his illness of Kamaraazite flu which was a much harsher version of the common cold.

He instructed the Cadet and moved to Cadet U'aidat who was sat twirling her hair and spinning on a 90degree angle back and forth on her chair. "Yes sir I will scan of frequency 4997-5367 or should I pair with you for help." She had spoken in Vulcan to him in a completely informal tone, and her comment had made a subtle reference to the survival expedition.

His throat locked up. Had the Cadet told people? Had she betrayed his trust? Suddenly he was angry, he could not control his emotions his logic was drowned "No. I am not to be pairing with any of the Cadets present. And I will not be needed for your task." He snapped at the Cadet who did not notice his sudden change of tone his Vulcan expressions were hard to notice for the Orion they needed to be shouted at to get the gist of others emotions not about mating.

"Are you sure sir, pairing is something you choose to be logical is it not?" The cadet answered clearly in an attempt to tease him, or at least he thought it was him until Cadet Uhura spoke up not in standard or Vulcan but in the Orion tongue Yrevish, which was not taught at the Academy.

"Gaila, what are you doing? I told you that in confidence. What if any of the two Cadets can speak Vulcan? You make it sound like fraternisation stop." Nyota looked at him her eyes were almost tear stricken. He felt a wave of relief, the Cadet had not told anyone except the Orion and the Cadet was defending him, he felt his anger towards Nyota dim. She had not betrayed him. "Please Gaila don't, if what occurred in Yosemite were to be taken the wrong way the lieutenant Commander would lose his job and I would be expelled." She finished

Cadet U'aidat looked at him and then to Nyota "Sorry Ny, I was only trying to tease you. I don't want that to happen. I just thought it would be funny to you know wind him and you up" The Cadet was now blushing and now addressed him more formally in standard "Yes sir I shall start my task" before adding in Vulcan "I apologise sir" With that she began her task and Cadet Uhura turned back to hers.

He spoke quietly into Nyota's ear and spoke Swahili, "Asante (thank you)" he then stood and sat at his desk. His emotions were slowly dissolving his logic was returning he could think clearly again, reviewing the situation that had just passed, he realised that the Orion had aimed the comments toward Cadet Uhura. He felt in control again, he would teach this class as successfully as intended the short outburst would not matter.

The Class had continued for the remaining forty-six minutes without interruption and as he had predicted his logic had been in control and the earlier issue did not resurface. He dismissed the class allowing Cadet Garth and Riley to leave, he went to set himself at his desk when Cadet Uhura and U'aidat stayed.

"Yes cadets?" He asked trying to act as though he did not know that the Cadets were about to apologise for their earlier informal discussion.

"Sir I would like to apologise in a more serious manner, I should not have spoken about the survival expedition in such a way and I do understand that what occurred in Yosemite was completely professional." Cadet U'aidat apologized.

Spock had not expected the cadet to be so formal, he thought he would have continued the teasing realising that the cadet's apology was solemn he replied "Thank you Cadet I appreciate your apology and I must express to you that your knowledge of what did occur in Yosemite was within regulations however, you must not spread your knowledge as Cadet Uhura rightly said if the occurrence was to be appropriated in the wrong manner then more serious consequences will prevail." He looked at the cadet who nodded then saluted him. "You are dismissed" She left the room, leaving him and Cadet Uhura alone.

"Cadet, I would like to thank you, you're defence of mine person and actions saved me from an emotional state. I would also like to add that you do not share further than Cadet U'aidat of information regarding Yosemite." He could open up to her he told himself. If she knew of his emotional state maybe she would understand, and possibly help him.

"Sir, you are welcome, I do not want people to know. I am not ashamed of what happened, but I do know the consequences and I am sorry that you had to hear Gaila's teasing." Nyota looked at him her expression dropped from the serious form to a more relaxed emotional one "Sir, about your emotional state. Those feelings you expressed to me on the mountain, were they true?" she sounded on the brink of crying.

He did not know how to react. She was upset, why? Had he done something? So he simply added "Vulcans, cannot lie."

Nyota

Okay, that was not the response she was expecting. Or was it? She could not decide her Vulcan professor obviously had feelings for her and yet all he can say is that he cannot lie. Was there a hidden message? Did he want her to elaborate? She was annoyed; she had expected him to open up to her. Stupid girl why would a Vulcan open up, there whole society was built on hiding emotion. What did she expect?

Realising that her professor would not understand her emotional response she decided it be best for her to leave. "Thank you sir, I will leave." She turned to leave. When he moved forward and held her wrist.

"Cadet…" she felt him through the touch of her wrist and his palm, he was battling with himself again, his logic and emotion fighting; one side against her the other crying out for her. She felt his mind alongside hers nudging her it was completely surreal. She reached out he felt him stronger. His love, his confusion and how desperate he was not to lose her. "I do not mean to offend you"

She moved forward towards him and looked up at him "Sir…" her speech faltered she did not realise the effect he was having upon her, her throat had gone thick and her stomach fell heavy, "I did not realise the strength of your emotions"

He looked down at her, "Nyota. You have caused me the most emotional responses that I have ever experienced , you are the one that the emotions are for" before she could respond he bent down and kissed her. He was kissing her! She felt his lips; they were unimaginably soft, and considerably warmer due to his hotter body. He was about to pull away from the chaste kiss when she threw her arms around him ignoring the fact he was her professor. Ignoring the fact that they were in an unlocked classroom. She ran her fingers through his hair and deepened their kiss, emotions were flying left right and centre into her mind, his love, his worry and his want. He kissed her back, her tongue curled around his and she felt the sharpness of his Vulcan teeth.

He moved his hand which was still on her wrist and ran it along her lower arm to her hand leaving the electric buzz of psi-energy behind in a trail on her flustered skin. He placed two fingers against her fore finger and index finger she felt him in her mind more definitely, more profound he was right there. It was as if she was him, she saw herself through his eyes the beauty, the magnificence how she was the only important person in the galaxy.

He hit her with logic, mental notes screaming at him –stop! What are you doing!- she thought the thoughts were for her so he responded mentally -I am returning the kiss. Spock- he pulled away she did not understand, it was him who kissed her how could he question her response? .He looked down at her "Nyota, I am sorry I was thinking to myself, I was not aiming the thoughts at your person. I assure you I enjoyed the kiss and I mot certainly did not stop because of you but because of myself. My logic is in a mess, my emotions are wild. And you are the cause which believe me, is not a negative reaction do not feel rejected." He paused removing his hands from hers, "I have strong feelings for you".

Strong feelings!? Not the love she had just felt only strong feelings. She could not understand him why couldn't he just say it? He had just expressed to her his love, why couldn't he say it? "Spock. I have strong feelings for you too" she responded, he could not stay angry at him. He was emotionally compromised and confused, so she hugged him tightly "What do we do now?"

"I, do not know" He said returning the hug wrapping his arms around her tightening and squeezing her body lovingly "I do not know" he repeated.

Authors note

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! and the swahili might be wrong i used google translate. and the next update wont be until at least next weekend because le exams have arrived but they'll be out of the way then sooo keep reading!:P

updated(05/01/14)