Author's Note: Oh, the angst!

I wanted to thank all the people who have reviewed my little story, glowing and constructive alike. I don't always answer everyone, but I am grateful just the same!

Anyways...allons-y!

Chapter Ten

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, Harry became more and more withdrawn. He always felt sick, with dark circles under his eyes, and little appetite. When he visited the Healers at St. Mungos, they said he was physically fine. He could feel Ginny looking at him when she though he didn't notice, her brows drawn together with concern.

He was sitting in the Weasleys' kitchen one afternoon a couple weeks before the wedding, listening to Ginny chatter about the color of the bridesmaid dresses, when his eye caught the guest list peeking out from under a stack of announcements. Harry had let Ginny send out the invitations, so he was mildly curious when he picked the list up. Scanning it, his eyes widened in shock as he saw Luna's name scrawled out at the bottom.

"Why did you invite Luna?" Harry asked suddenly, the words out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

Ginny looked up from her color swatches, a surprised look on her face. "What do you mean? Of course I invited her, she's our friend."

"Right," Harry said, regaining control of his emotions.

"What's wrong Harry?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing," Harry replied, guilt bubbling up inside of him. "I'm sorry."

"And why are you concerned about the Lovegoods?" Ginny persisted. "Luna's not coming anyways."

"I'm-" Harry stopped short. "She's not?"

Ginny looked at him curiously.

"No, I got a message from her father. Apparently she's unwell and she's left school." "Unwell?" Harry asked, growing cold. "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know," Ginny replied, turning back to her swatches. "I don't even know where she's gone. Apparently she's not at home, and Xenophilius was really vague about where she'd gone off to."

"Not St. Mungo's, then?"

"He didn't say," Ginny said, looking at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"No reason," Harry said in as careless a tone as he could muster. What was the matter with her? Where could she have gone?

Stop it, Harry told himself firmly. You're getting married. Think of the wedding, or if you can't do that, think of work.

"Right," he said aloud. "I've got to go."

And with a quick kiss on the cheek, Harry Disapparated, leaving Ginny alone in the middle of the cluttered kitchen, staring at the spot he had just vacated.

But Harry was unable to focus on anything but Luna and where she might be, what might be wrong. His distraction was so bad that he accidentally set fire to Neville's robes in a meeting one day and didn't realize it until someone was shouting in his ear.

Hermione finally came to see him at work two days before the wedding to ask him what was wrong. She walked into his office in mother mode, her arms crossed over her chest and her brows drawn together.

"You look like death warmed over, Harry. Not a good look for the bridegroom at his own wedding."

Harry looked up at her from behind the stacks of paperwork he had neglected to file in recent days. He had been staring at the criminal record of a former Death Eater, unable to take in any of what he read.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a gentler tone. "Even Ron hasn't got a clue why you've been so withdrawn." She put a cool hand against his forehead. "Are you sick?"

"No, Hermione, I'm fine," Harry said wearily. "At least that's what the Healers at St. Mungo's tell me." He put the report on top of the smallest paper pile and picked up another from the larger stack.

"Well something's not right," Hermione said, taking the chair across from his desk. "If you're not sick, what could it be?"

Suddenly her eyes narrowed, and Harry got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Is it the wedding?"

"No," Harry said, but he couldn't meet her eyes. He picked up another report and tried to read it, but the lines blurred before his tired eyes.

They sat in silence, but Harry could feel Hermione watching him.

"You know," Hermione said finally, "I received an owl from McGonagall the other day. Apparently Luna left school and has been taking care of the owls at Hogwarts."

Harry looked up sharply, his heart thudding in his chest.

"She said-"

Hermione paused a moment before continuing, her voice tentative and low, barely above a whisper.

"She said Luna was suffering from a broken heart."

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks, and it felt like his limbs had lead in them.

"Oh," he said slowly. "So that's what I've been feeling. A broken heart."

He placed his hand on his chest and felt his heart beating against his ribs.

"I've always wondered what that felt like."

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said softly, taking his hand in her own. "I've wondered for a long time."

When he finally built up enough courage and met Hermione's eyes, they were filled with both pity and, to his utter surprise, relief.

He gave her a sardonic smile. "Am I that obvious?" he asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Hermione smiled at him sadly and squeezed his hand. "Only to me. I'm the only one who has known you long enough, other than Ron. And you know how oblivious he is."

Harry gave a small chuckle, but there was no humor in it.

"What are you going to do?" she asked softly, her large brown eyes piercing his.

Harry shrugged desperately.

"What can I do, Hermione?" he asked bitterly. "I'm getting married in two days, and I'm in love with another woman."

He stood up and paced the room, no longer able to sit still without fearing he was about to go mad.

"I'm so in love with her I can't eat, I feel ill all the time, and I can't sleep for fear of dreaming." He stopped suddenly and turned to Hermione, who was watching him with a puzzled look on her face. "Remember that dream I was having? The one I couldn't remember? It was about Luna," he said softly. His shoulders sagged and he felt drained.

"She's my soulmate, Hermione, and I was too stupid to realize it."

Hermione's eyes widened but she said nothing.

He dropped into his chair and covered his face with his hands. "And now it's too late," he said, muffled. He felt dreadful, but there was the tiniest spark of relief from having shared this with someone else. The burden was no longer his alone.

"No, it's not," Hermione whispered, coming over and kneeling in front of him.

She grasped his hands and pulled them away from his face.

"You may hurt Ginny dreadfully, Harry, but it is much worse to go through with the wedding. It isn't fair to you, and it definitely isn't fair to her."

Harry looked up at her. "But-"

"No!" Hermione interrupted him, her voice urgent. "Can you imagine your life? You would be desperately unhappy, and you would ruin her life. Can't you see, Harry? It may be painful now, and yes, there is a possibility she will never forgive you..."

She faltered here, and Harry knew she was also thinking of Ron and rest of the Weasleys. She took a deep breath and went on.

"…but she doesn't deserve to live her life with a man who is in love with someone else. You have to tell her."

She smiled sadly, tears in her eyes.

"And think of Luna. If she truly is your soulmate, she won't be able to live a full, happy life without you, and you without her. If this is how you feel now, imagine how you'll feel in twenty, thirty years from now."

Harry shivered at the thought. He would not want to live.

He looked up into Hermione's tear stained smiling face.

"Will you come with me?"

She nodded and held out her hand. He took it, and together they Apparated to the Burrow, which was (thankfully) empty except for Ginny, who had just returned from Quidditch practice. Leaving Hermione in the living room to wait for the rest of the family, Harry entered the kitchen.

She was at the stove, pouring water from a steaming kettle into a large basin. Harry caught sight of her feet, which were bare and blistered.

"Ginny?" he asked tentatively, his heart in his throat.

She looked up in surprise.

"Harry! What are you doing here?"

"Let me help you with that," he said quickly, taking the basin from her, and placing it in front of one of the kitchen chairs. She sat down and put her feet in the water.

"Ah, that feels so good." Ginny sighed. "My boots chafe so much!"

Not knowing how to start, Harry knelt in front of the basin and gently picked up one of her feet, the water trickling down his calloused fingers onto her calloused toes, the scars of Quidditch and of war.

We are so similar, Harry thought to himself sadly.

"Ginny?" he asked after a time.

"Hm?" Ginny murmured, her eyes closed.

"I found out where Luna is." He continued to wash her feet.

"Oh? Where?"

"She's at Hogwarts, taking care of the owls."

Ginny opened one eye and looked at him.

"Why is she there?"

"It's because she's heartbroken," Harry said softly.

"Heartbroken?" Ginny asked in quiet surprise. "Luna?"

"Yes. And it's because of me."

Her eyes flew open and she sat up sharply. Harry took her hands in his as he gathered his courage.

"That's why I can't—" But his throat closed up. Tears came to his eyes but he didn't bother to wipe them away.

"What is it, Harry?" Ginny asked, her voice fearful. "Look at me."

Harry swallowed but couldn't meet her eyes.

"Look at me!" she said again sharply.

Harry forced himself to look at her.

"That's why I can't marry you," he said steadily.

She turned white as a sheet and pulled her feet out of the water.

"Do you love her?" she asked forcefully.

"I dream about her every night."

"I asked you if you love her!"

"Yes! She's my soulmate," Harry said. "I can't pretend anymore, not even for you. And I did try. I did-"

His voice cracked and he could go no further. There was a moment of horrible silence before Ginny let out a sound so dreadful, it was almost more than he could bear.

"No!" she wailed, trying to pull away from him, knocking over the basin of water. The water flooded around Harry's knees, but he did not even notice.

Ginny began to hit his shoulders and chest with her fists, and he grasped her around the waist.

"How could you do this to me, Harry? How?" she sobbed, hitting him over and over again.

Harry hugged her tightly, knowing that it would do nothing to ease the pain he had caused her.

"I love you, Harry," she sobbed, letting her hands fall to her sides. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?"

But he had no answer for her. As the sun sank beneath the edge of the earth bringing night, Ginny sobbed and Harry held her, unable to provide what it was she wanted so much.