Hey! Guess what? I finished another one of those stories I told you about. I now finished one called "stranger defended" and even though I found it quite boring and slow to write I wanted to finish it and I think it ended up quite nicely. So that's one story less to worry about and more time for the stories that are left.

With this chapter it returns to Sandy's POV.

As I'm writing this I yet haven't started the chapter. I'm not sure what this chapter will be about. There is a chance it will only be a boring filler. But then, we're going to reach New Year's Eve and things will start happening again all until the end of the story.

Monday, December the 30th 2013 The tired and hungry

On the Monday, not quite a week after Christmas Eve when Annie had arrived with us. For the first time in several days I and Kirsten weren't woken up early in the morning at Annie screaming from night terrors.

Instead, when she and Sophie Rose came up for breakfast. Annie looked so tired it seemed maybe she hadn't slept at all.

"I and Annie are friends again now."

Sophie Rose announced the newest happily, Annie just looked tired and didn't comment it while she sat down next to Ryan and then barely nibbled on a piece of toast with butter and a glass of orange juice.

"Aren't we Annie? We're friends again. You're not angry anymore and I am not neither."

"Mhm."

Annie, with her toast weakly in one hand sat with an elbow on the table and her head leaned heavily in her hand. Sophie Rose frowned at her, but then turned to her own breakfast and I couldn't help to feel a gust of worry.

It really did look like Annie must not have slept at all last night? Could it have something to do with that picture and frame Sophie Rose had broken?

"You can go back to bed and sleep some more. You don't look like you had any sleep at all." Annie shrugged but didn't look at me. And I decided to give her some space and turned towards Ryan instead. "When will Adam and Sarah come around, Ryan? Will they be coming today?" Ryan shook his head. "They were coming for New Year's were they?"

"Yeah. They'll be coming here about lunch time tomorrow."

"Daddy? Do you still have that photo frame of Annie's that I dropped yesterday?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Don't even try it young lady. You know very well what you did. I think your mum still has it."

"I don't care about that stupid frame. I told you to throw it away."

After just a few, small bites Annie dropped the toast on the table, and heavily- every move slow and stiff stood up, walked out of the room and out of my sight. I could hear her in the hallway, through it and into the living room but right then Seth and Summer came around and without even asking I left my seat for Summer and got the crackers and ginger ale.

"Do you mind me sitting here with you?" Kirsten too came around in the kitchen and I went into the living room where I had heard Annie gone in. And there she was, curled up in the chair she had barely left during the past few days and I sat down in the nearest sofa as close to her as possible. "You seem very tired… did you sleep alright?" I reached out and felt her forehead- but she didn't feel warm. "You can sleep there you know." I tried to tell her when she obviously once again forced her eyes open. "You don't have to fight so hard to stay awake. Let go and just have a nap. That's nothing to be ashamed of. I do that often when I get tired and then I can be alert for the rest of the day."

"But I'm not tired."

Annie was clearly lying, and once again her eyelids seemed heavy as they fell over and covered her dark eyes. But I didn't talk to her anymore, and not two minutes later I heard her breaths slowing down as she fell asleep lying across her favorite chair.

"Didn't I just hear her say she wasn't tired?"

On the other end of the room Ryan, Seth and Soph sat down and started playing a game of cards. I just shook my head at Seth's comment and signed at them to keep silent.

"Where are mum and Summer by the way?" Sophie Rose questioned. "They didn't go shopping again, did they? Not without me. Because they said I could come with them if they were going again."

I just shrugged, I knew Summer wanted to know as much as possible about the future of her pregnancy and becoming a mother. So even though they were only down the road in Seth and Summer's house it would probably be for the best if we left them two alone. Soph pouted, but didn't protest when she turned back to her two brothers and they continued their game.

A few times nearest the couple of hours I looked up from my paper work, I kept doing it since I just wanted it done so I could get on with my holidays. But if Annie had had nightmares sleeping during the night, maybe this was the time to finally get to help her before she was all awake and ready to say she was all fine.

"No… dad, no. Stop that."

It wasn't somehow because I thought she needed a sitter, but because I didn't have much to do anyway. And if this was the chance we'd get… maybe if she had nightmares sleeping during the day too.

I just wanted to reach her somehow, and maybe keeping close while she slept could help me.

"No… no. Dad stop that."

And an hour and a half after she fell asleep came the answer.

And then, all of a sudden Annie started mumbling to herself. Or to herself- obviously to her dad, but that didn't exist here more than inside her head and her dreams.

"No… no stop that."

"Annie." I put away the book I'd been reading, leaned over and stroke her forehead and hair. "It's okay. You're safe here."

"No…." She pushed away my hand. And I suddenly noticed how quiet it had gone in this room despite my children all on the other side of the room. "NO dad…"

Seth must have read my thoughts more or less because while I tried to care for Annie I saw in the corner of my eye how he stood up and told Ryan and Sophie Rose something and they all left the room while I breathed a sigh in relief and tried to memorize to thank Seth later.

"No, no."

Annie turned where she laid and if more I was afraid she'd fall down. The chair wasn't high but where she laid she seemed so little and fragile.

"Annie…" I stroke her hair once again. But once again she pushed my hand away without waking up. "It's okay. You're safe here."

"No…"

The panicking tone was louder than the words themselves.

"Sch, sch, sch. It's okay…"

I just felt so helpless.

"Mummy?... Mummy? AAAAH."

Annie shot up, and I shot forward when I saw what was happening. But not quickly enough as Annie half jumped half fell out of the chair and landed with a loud thud on the floor right next to the chair.

For a moment, while I kneeled next to her she looked at me, and with a panicked speed in her breaths in confusion looked around the room before she remembered where she was and who I was.

"It's okay." I tried to calm with my hand held out but with a gasp she threw herself backwards. "Oh… It's okay." I lowered my hand again. "I wasn't going to hit you. I just wanted to check if you're okay. You fell down from that chair… You've been asleep for a couple of hours. But you were so tired before, none of us wanted to wake you up."

"I'm fine." Annie mumbled drowsily, but got up and sat back down leaned back in the arm chair. I sat back in the couch and couldn't even notice that I was staring at her. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry…" I looked away and quickly thought of something to think about. "So… Tomorrow's New Year's Eve? The last day of the year. Wow, time is really rushing by isn't it? We usually plan for what food to have and stuff for tomorrow but it's been so much happening the last few days we've forgotten all about it? Maybe you'd want to help me?"

Annie only watched back at me while I tried to think of something and swore mentally to myself. I wanted so bad to help her and reach through. Make her interested in and excited about something- Lord would know she'd never seemed to have anything like that before.

"Do you drink? On New Year's Eve I mean?"

The question was so sudden I barely even understood it at first. Then it sunk in, Annie was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Alcohol you mean?" She nodded. "Well… Kirsten doesn't drink at all, at any day of the year. Summer can't neither since she's pregnant of course. I, Seth or Ryan can have a drink or two but…"

The look on her face was undeniable.

"It's just that… it's nothing really."

"Annie?" I laid a hand on her shoulder but she shook it off. "Would it make you uncomfortable if we're drinking? Because it's not so important that we have to do it." She didn't answer, but I still saw the look in her eyes. "You know what? I think we can make this year and just decide that there will be no alcohol involved. Okay?"

She still didn't answer, but her shoulders seemed to lower in a slightly more relaxed position at the moment I said that there would be no alcohol involved.

"And even if we do drink we never drink so much we…"

"What are we going to eat?"

Obviously she didn't want to talk more about the drinks. But I could still remember the look from only a few seconds ago of insecurity when she had brought it up. And no way was I putting her through that on purpose.

"Ehrm… I don't know. We haven't planned yet. But no fast food for once. For the dinner on New Year's Night it's about the only time ever we all get together and spend time. Without TV, without computers, without music. Just all of us. Where we lived before there were always parties for every single day from Christmas Eve until the middle of January or so. But we sort of like our current traditions better… As long as Kirsten isn't the one in charge over cooking. Then we'd all get food poisoning." I gave a short laugh but Annie only raised an eyebrow at me annoyed. "Hold on… I'll just go get something."

My family and I had collected all the books of recipes we had ever bought in a kitchen cupboard, there were twenty or more of them with tries of us ever being able to cook for our own family. And then we had just put them there, only using them since we moved to Berkeley and no long went on parties during New Year's.

It was only I and Annie home now, but we could find some recipes and ask the others about it when they came back…

"And since we turn our electronics off to spend time together, when I came back into the living room I had with me a pile of books with recipes. "We find something in these we want to try… Now, of course we need to check with Kirsten and the others what they want but we could start. We need one dish for starters, one main dish, and then a dessert… Is there anything in particular of food you like or not?"

Annie took it one of the books and didn't answer at first, I took another but still watched her in the corner of my eye. Tense and listening in case she would do like before and suddenly ask or say anything a long while after I had asked.

And wasn't I right that she would?

"I don't really like eating meat a lot." Just as I had been able to concentrate on the recipes Annie said something and I looked up again. "Well. I do like it, but at the same time I don't really. Someone at school or something asked me if I should become a vegetarian but I don't know really. It's not like I had much choice of what to eat when I lived with my parents… I'm not sure I could change what I liked and didn't. But I do know I like seafood and shrimp and fish and stuff like that…"

This felt like one of the first things Annie had said to me at all. It was only about food but it felt like it meant something more.

"How about this one? It looks simple. We wouldn't even have to cook it. Only mix these two sauces and then put it in wine glasses or something with each other and shrimp. Even Kirsten or Sophie Rose could do it."

She leaned over and showed me with shrimp and two kinds of cold sauces in schnapps glasses. And agreeing with her- it did look so simple even Kirsten could do it.

"That's for starters then…" Annie put the book opened down on the floor and took a book with desserts. "Oh. Maybe this one… if we… no… chicken."

"I don't mind like chicken or turkey or something like that. It's just stuff like sausages, meatballs, mince, bacon, things like that makes me want to vomit."

"Well then." I turned back to the page I had been on before. "If you don't mind me asking. Was those the things you used to eat when you lived with your parents?"

I held my breath when Annie hesitated to answer. Maybe if I could get her to say something about something as simple as the food she had grown up with. Maybe that could be a start of getting her to open up.

"Yeah… And spaghettiO's, lunchables, McDonald's… Stuff like that… I don't think I had a home cooked meal a single time. Ever. And I was always hungry. No matter what I ate I was never fu…"

Annie suddenly gasped in the middle of a word. As she was just realizing she had actually said anything.

I had listened closely to every word, trying to find anything that might help us help her. But I didn't want to pressure her into anything so when she didn't continue speaking but went back to riffling in the book she had I didn't ask anything else but turned back to mine and tried both to find a recipe and to go through what she had just told me.

"Have you ever tried risotto?" I tried while I skimmed through the ingredients of the recipe I had found. "There is a recipe here with rice, chicken, garlic and mushroom. Do you like mushroom? I know some people don't."

"I've never tried risotto. I heard about it and saw it. It sort of looks good but I've never had the chance to taste it… Mushroom I don't know neither. My dad didn't like it so no one ever bought it back at ho… well. Where I used to live."

You can call it home. It's where you grew up so it's always going to be home more than anything else.

I didn't say what I was thinking, reminding myself about how little I knew about Annie and her history.

"Never tasted coconut or mango."

"What?"

"There's a recipe here and I thought it seemed good. But it's got coconut and mango in it and I've never tasted that… But it's got pear too. And I like pear."

"Let me see…" I leaned closer. "Cobbler? Hmm… I never tried that but that too looks simple enough." I read through the recipe. "So that's shrimp cocktail, chicken risotto with mushroom and garlic. And cobbler…"

"What's cobbler?"

"A sort of pie. And cobbler with coconut pear and mango. Also no alcohol… sounds like the best New Year's dinner if you ask me. Especially if we can get Sarah Jensen to make more of those chocolate biscuits. Should we go over to Seth's and Summer's and ask the others about the recipes we've found?" Annie nodded barely noticeable. "Then you and I can go shopping for the things right afterwards. But no stealing this time. If you want something just ask for it okay?"

With the ashamed look on her face I regretted I had brought that last up at the same moment it had passed from my lips. And it wasn't like I and Kirsten and the others had done everything right poor thing. Having grown up with the worse kinds of fast food and then ending up here.

Maybe this was a sign we needed to get better of cooking by ourselves instead of ordering food several times a week.

Random fact

I don't know why it matters so much what they should eat and I even looked some recipes up. Maybe it's just because I like food so much. And food also meant something in the series with Sandy and his bagels and Kirsten not being able to cook and such things so… I guess we'll have to deal with it this way. Some of it at least is going to make sense later into the story quite soon.

Oh, and by the way- I love mushroom. But like Sandy says, I do know there are some people out there who just can't stand it.

Sandy, his siblings and mum, Kirsten and Seth did a similar New Year's dinner in my AU- story the search for a family. I wonder if the dinner in this will be an as big fiasco as in that story. (The soup had been way too salty, the steak was burned, potato boiled for quite a bit too long. But the dessert was okay) or better… or maybe even worse… I know but you don't. I can't wait to show you.