Sceptile Sabotage.

Pikachu groaned and moaned and groaned again.

"I'm huuungryyyy!" He whined for the fifth time in that last 20 seconds.

"I get the point!" Ash answered loudly.

"If I don't get food soon..."

"Blah blah blah!"

Pikachu held his breath.

"If I don't get food..." He paused. "I'll have to eat you!"

"You don't even have teeth!"

"Oh yeah, you're right..."

"Speaking of which, how can you eat your food?"

He shrugged.

"I'm huuungryyyy!"

Ash closed his ears. (Authors note: I have no idea how he did that, but oh well...)

Pikachu started gnawing on something with his gums.

"Uh Pikachu?" Ash began. "That's a rock..."

"Oh, that explains why it's so fuckin' hard, I mean, your limbs are all floppy and whimsy ya' Nancy wanker!"

"What's with the Scottish accent?"

"You what now laddy!"

"Excuse me?"

"HAGGIS!"

"What?"

"I said... HAGGIS!"

"I heard you, what I meant was what is haggis?"

"You don't know what HAGGIS is?"

"No..."

"It's guts inside guts inside guts baked in a sheep's stomach!"

"I think I'm gonna hurl!"

Ash yacked all over the floor.

"Woah! Now that's what I call a category 5 hurlicane!"

"It's not funny..."

"I know but... HAGGIS!"

Ash yacked once again.

"What's wrong laddy? You don't like HAGGIS!"

"No..."

"That makes me so mad... HAGGIS! HAGGIS! HAGGIS! HAGIS!"

Ash continuously yacked on the floor.

"Stop saying that word!"

"What word laddy?"

"You know, that word."

"You mean HAGGIS!"

Ash yacked again.

"Stop making me yack!" Ash shrieked.

"You shouldn't yack over HAGGIS ya' Nancy wanker!" Pikachu cried in his new Scottish voice.

"That's it!" Ash said in-between yacks. "I'm gonna eat you!"

"Not if I eat you first laddy!"

The two lunged at each other, but failed to hurt each other since they smashed into a rock.

"I'm still gonna eat you..." Pikachu muttered.

This time Pikachu decided to walk around the rock. (Give 'im a clap!) He started gnawing his gums on Ash's arm.

"Pikachu stop!" Ash cried. "You're getting Pikachu-slobber all over my brand new t-shirt!"

"Brand new?" Pikachu asked. "You've been wearing that fuckin' shirt since you were ten years old!"

"I'm only eleven now!"

"That's one whole year wearing the same t-shirt!"

"I know, only one year, it's unbelievable!"

"Yeah, unbelievably long!"

"You know Pikachu?"

"Know what? That 1+1 equals 4?"

"First, it's 3, second, your a ***** *********in' **** **** ***in' ******** ***** **** ****in' ****er!"

"Well... Now you've offended me..."

"Oh yeah? Well **** off you Nancy Wanker!"

Pikachu sniffed.

Meanwhile.

"Do you think you can do it Sceptile?" Steven asked, they were on top o a hill, facing Nimbasa's pokemon center.

"Yeah, I just need to get inside..." Sceptile answered as he clicked his nimble eager fingers.

"Getting in is a problem... But getting out is phenomenally hard! They could call the police!"

"We can hold 'em!" Blastoise screeched.

"Okay, are you all ready?"

"Yeah!" The crowd chorused.

"Let's go!"

It was night time when they set-off, there was Steven, Blitz and Blaze, Sceptile, and Flare going to sneak to the back of the center. The others were ready to stampede in at any time when Steven gave the signal. The human, and the four pokemon, sneaked up to the back of the center, then started to climb. Up, up, up to the roof. There was a thin layer of glass lined perfectly on the ceiling for star-gazing. Steven looked in through the glass, there was nobody there except nurse Joy. Perfect for their plan. He took a small gadget out of his pocket and placed it on the glass, he turned it and it silently cut a small hole just big enough for the group to squeeze through. He removed the glass, and slowly lowered himself down. Eventually, Nurse Joy turned to check on the gear behind the counter. The other pokemon dropped down silently, in the same way Steven had. Steven pulled a small pistol out of his pocket. Nurse Joy turned to see the barrel pointed at her.

"Step aside Joy!" Steven cried. "Now!"

"I'm afraid I can't let you-" She started.

"Oh come on! I don't have all day!"

"Okay okay!" She moved aside and Flare went to watch her.

Steven whistled.

"Okay Sceptile, you're up!"

Sceptile trotted up to the PC box and started tapping away.

"Okay I'm in."

"Good, soon every Pokemon that has ever hated Ash will be free to kill him!"

Will Ash be nommed to death by Pikachu...?

Will Ash be nommed to death by just about every Pokemon in the world...?

Will they find the epik Caterpie...?

Find out in 'Should have stayed in school Ash Ketchum'

Coming soon...