Through the Glass

by Queens of Madness

Thalia and Clio Solberg are fraternal twin sisters who decided to celebrate the beginning of their last summer before college with a Super Smash marathon in the Subspace Emissary. Little did they plan for the impossible events that would occur when their favorite characters begin to talk to them, and soon come into the world. But, for there to be heroes, there needs to be villains.

10. Luc's Milkshake

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Through the Glass:

Chapter 10

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Hytherra, Safnaeldr, Fyrigmark

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Lucario padded into the room silently, drawn there by the gathered auras and cheerful chatter. He wasn't sure what the symbols on the board meant, but he figured they had some connection to the trip they were planning. He settled down on the next to Link, and Link looked over to the aura-reader cheerfully.

"Oh, hey, Luc, nice of you to join us!"

Luc nodded in acknowledgement, before cocking his head to the right and scanning the crowd currently bickering over semantics.

"What is currently occurring? They seem much worked up."

"Oh, you know, we were planning on going on a shopping trip. If we had known you were awake, we would have included you. Sorry! Although, now that I think about it, I'm not sure if we forgot you or if we just weren't sure that you'd want to be involved."

Lucario shrugged indifferently. "I was in the middle of my meditations anyways, there's no harm done. I doubt I would have been able to contribute anything as I'm not even positive what they're talking about."

Link joined Lucario in watching the group. "Oh, they're arguing semantics as in the definition of language, I guess? Something like that. Marth called Thalia a "dirty rotten liar," his words, not mine, and Thalia called him "a pretentions, pompous poser," her words, not mine."

Lucario cut in momentarily. "Are they not friends?"

"She instantly assured him that she was just saying that for the sake of the argument, and he assured her that being a liar is an important skill to have when occupying a position in the government."

"That is good then. Continue?"

"Ike keeps yelling "SO YOU CONFESS!" after everything Thalia says while Clio just shakes her head going, 'oh Ike, poor poor little Ike," and then he'll glare at her and she'll grin."

Bowser cut in. "My favorite part is how confused Pit looks. It's like he's debating whether to feel insulted because he was accused of a crime, or pleased that they think he can do it."

"Hello, Bowser."

"Hey, Luc. Where did you disappear off to? I had figured you'd be out exploring."

"I was merely accustoming myself to this new atmosphere."

Gerard just then looked up from the huddle he was in with Samus and Eric, presumably talking logistics with the two.

"Continue your argument as you get ready to go. We are leaving in 15 minutes!" he saw Lucario. "Lucario, good to see you joining us. Do you have any special requests for what we should pick up for you, or are you okay with us simply getting you a variety of basic human supplies?"

"It does not matter to me. If I'm being honest, I'm still at a loss for what I'm supposed to do with myself here."

Gerard nodded understandingly. "This would be a jarring change… Seriously kids! Go! Get ready!"

The gaggle finally looked up from their interactions. "Oh! Hi, Lucario!"

"Hello," he said, nonchalant. "Do you mind if I join you on this endeavor? I will not lie though, I only know it's fascinating because of everyone's auras."

The twins grinned predatorily. "Oh? What else can you read from a person's aura, Luc?"

"And to what extent?"

Luc leaned back a bit, feeling uneasy. "I don't know if I want to tell you that."

The twins laughed before snagging Samus and Peach and dragging them with them to their room while the others all gradually dispersed to wash their faces and change into a new set of clothing.

On her way up the stairs, Samus suddenly remembered that she had to go wake-up Pikachu, and she said as much to the twins, only to have them wave it off and say Pikachu's roommate can wake up the ex-Pokemon. Samus shrugged and easily called out to the oblivious angel. "Hey Pit, do me a favor and wake-up Pikachu, would you?"

"Sure thing! Is he trouble in the morning?"

If Pit were a more observant person, he may have seen the slight hesitation before Samus, obviously lying to the angel and studiously avoiding eye contact, replied with a dismissive, "Nah, not at all."

15 minutes later, with a disgruntled and unhappy Pikachu in tow, a slightly electrified and very irritated Pit walked down the stairs.

"You're a liar, Samus," was the first thing Pit said. "You're worse than the twins. At least I wasn't injured from that debacle."

Samus winced. "Oh? Did he hurt you? Sorry about that."

Pit grumbled, before going: "It came as something of a shock. You could say I saw sparks fly."

The twins started to guffaw loudly, fully appreciating the puns.

"JESUS. PIT. OH MY GOD. THAT WAS GREAT," Thalia wailed.

Pit blinked. "Really? Most people normally glare at me and then try to attack me. And I'm really not exaggerating."

"Well, that would be the appropriate reaction to a pun, Pit. Sorry to break it to you," Eric said, walking by.

Pit grumbled to himself while Pikachu stiffly strutted past Pit with a metaphorical nose in the air.

"I'm here. Are you happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Peach said sweetly, one of those expressions on her face, that makes you question whether the wearer was being sarcastic or not. Pikachu stared at her while the rest of the group trailed into the room. Gerard clapped his hands for attention.

"Now then, the first leg of our journey is about to begin. We have four cars. Thalia's Maserati which can fit five, Eric's Lamborghini that can fit two, my Cadillac which can fit five, and Clio's Ferrari which can fit two. Luckily, that perfectly fits all of us. Pair up. Who do you hate the least? Thalia and I will take four, Eric and Clio will each take one."

They blinked and Gerard gestured for them to hurry, they didn't have all day.

Peach, Samus, Pikachu, and Bowser all naturally floated together and went over to Gerard for a ride.

"Wow," Thalia said. "Fuck me, man."

Peach and Samus laughed and Bowser answered.

"I feel like if I did, I would break you. You're tiny."

Gerard looked conflicted between scolding Bowser for that kind of suggestion and defending Thalia's strength.

She snorted. "I'd like to see you try, you genital-less turtle."

Bowser looked like he was about to retort right back when Peach cut him off. "Dearie, it's because it would feel weird to be driven by someone younger than us."

Thalia shrugged in understanding. "I got you."

"But we'd be more than happy to take you up on your offer," Marth chimed from Thalia's right. She turned to see Marth, Ike, Link, and Isaac standing together in various states of emotion from cheerful (Link) all the way down to resentment (Ike). Thalia grinned.

"Man, I just keep getting birthday presents. Damn. Two hot blondes. Two hot blues."

Clio made a tsking noise from where she stood next to Lucario. "I knew I should've gotten a four-seater. More opportunities to host a harem. I can take Luc."

Clio promised to explain the joke to Luc during the ride to Hytherra.

Meanwhile, Pit and Eric enthusiastically agreed to go together, Eric the more enthusiastic of the two, as he was prone to be.

"Oh my gee," Eric said, his hands on his cheeks (a cute gesture for a 24 year old), "I can't believe I'm going to be driving the Pit around in my car. Wow."

Pit blushed, a little flustered from the praise. "What do you mean, the Pit?"

"The legendary slayer of demons and the conqueror of gods? You've got major balls, man. Like seriously. You literally looked into the face of hell and came out practically unscathed and complaining. You fought through the lack of pun appreciation in the general public. You, my friend, are amazing. I can't wait to get to know you!"

While Pit and Eric continued chatting happily, Gerard politely held open the door for his guests and gave the shotgun seat to Bowser, before settling himself in the driver's seat. The group, in general, got into their own perspective rides. Except for Thalia's aforementioned harem.

"Alright then. Who wants shotgun?" Thalia asked her group.

"Shotgun? What's that?" Link asked.

"It's a thing you use to kill people and other animals," she explained. Marth groaned.

"We have to kill enemies on our way to our destination? What a hassle."

"Yeah," Thalia said, her mouth quirking to the side. "Some pretty strong ones. You know those vehicle things with the little lights on their heads in the Subspace? Yeah, we have those, but they're bigger and a lot more unpredictable."

Isaac tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "I think she's lying. Thoughts, Ike?"

"I'm never going to take her up on her word ever again."

"Already? It's only been a day!" Thalia's face morphed into a pout.

Link snickered but walked over to where Ike was studying Thalia's Maserati. Ike turned to Thalia.

"Is shotgun the seat right next to the driver's seat?"

"Dingdingding! We have a winner," Thalia intoned. "That's the shotgun seat, and since I outwitted you and stole Ragnell-"

"Outwitted?!"

"-You may have shotgun seat," Thalia ignored his exclamation.

"You know what? I would've taken it anyways! As punishment for your rudeness and for stealing Ragnell!"

Thalia winked at Marth and Isaac. "Can't say I mind the view."

"What a tricky woman," Marth said. Thalia skipped forward to the driver's seat and Marth thoughtfully watched her leave, a contemplative expression on his face. He opened his mouth as if to say something and Isaac raised an eyebrow, expecting the comment, but Marth just shut his mouth and shook his head. "Never mind. I'll give it time to progress."

Isaac shrugged and the two took their places in the back seat, Marth squished between him and Link in the tight confines of the car. Thalia revved the engine, almost showily.

"You comfy, guys?"

"Ecstatic," Marth said drily.

"Very pleased," Link grinned.

Isaac looked like he couldn't care less. "I've been in worse situations."

And with that, the car took off towards Hytherra.

As they drove, each respective driver pointed out landmarks and formations and each car certainly had a unique conversation going on.

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"So you're definitely not named Icarus."

"Nope! I've always just been Pit. I don't know why they call my games Kid Icarus."

"Huh. Well, my real name's Icarus, so I was just wondering."

"Really? No way! That's so cool. But you just go by Eric?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Icarus has always been a pretty formal name for me. My younger sister Ari's full name is Ariadne. When my Kagaskama gets pregnant, she gets really into Greek mythology. She told me she does it because "No matter how miserable my pregnancy or giving birth was, at least it wasn't as bad as they are in Greek mythology.""

"What's Greek mythology?" Pit ignored the word Kagaskama. He could tell from context clues that it meant mother, although he wasn't sure why he had never heard that word before.

"Oh, it's a series of tales and legends from a basically obsolete religion here on Earth. Some crazy stuff happened. For example, with the myth of Icarus, Icarus's dad was an inventor named Daedalus and the two were kept imprisoned in a labyrinth. To escape, Daedalus created wings out of candle wax and bird feathers. Long story short, they were flying over the Aegean Sea, and Icarus flew too close to the sun, burned his wings off, and fell to his inevitable death. All because he didn't listen to his dad. It's almost poetic, huh?"

Pit made a pained expression. "I'm seeing the parallels and I don't like it."

Eric laughed at that. "Do you want to hear some more? They're all pretty funny."

"Sure! I'm curious."

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"So, the socioeconomic makeup of this world is a series of superpowers, first world nations, second world nations, and third world nations. The superpowers fight wars using the interests they hold in the third world powers and some second world powers to avoid getting into any conflicts directly, as that would launch the world into nuclear warfare, which would be an obvious disaster," Samus said, summing up what she'd learned so far from Gerard. Gerard nodded sagely.

"Basically."

"Huh. Not exactly an unusual setup."

"It's an old one. The way of the universe, I suppose. Though, Fyrigmark is one of the strongest powers at the moment, I assure you, we don't start wars, we finish them."

Peach nodded politely. "I'm sure."

"If you guys are so strong, why don't you guys go for more land? Is your nation not crowded?" Bowser asked.

"Well, while the other nations wouldn't be able to do much about it," Gerard started, "Fyrigmark is an archipelago and we have firm control over the northern half of the Atlantic Ocean, and really, our people don't feel any urges to start a war with our neighboring nations to the east or the west. In fact, we are close allies with our neighbors in the west, and we have very strong alliances with nations in the east."

"Oh? What are those countries like?"

"Well, America is… peculiar… We could even say that it's a troubled child. They don't really get our customs and we don't really get theirs, but they most certainly have their merits. Though their foreign policy leaves some things to be desired. Now, to the east…"

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"Let me see if I understand this completely," Clio said, "You can tell emotional states, but you can't read thoughts. What about if they're injured or weakened, can you tell that?"

"Life force? Yes," he answered. "I can tell how many people are in a room from their life signatures, and from how strong those life signatures are, you can tell things like age, if they've been weakened by something like an injury or sickness, or even if they have magical powers."

"That's so cool, Luc! Can humans learn to do that?"

"I think it is an ability exclusive to my kind. Though, I do know some other Pokemon can learn Aura Sphere, which may mean that they have some type of sixth sense, like I do."

"Fascinating. Oh! If you had offspring, would your kids get that ability? Like with a human! Can you even have kids with a human?"

"I do not think I want to test that theory out at this point in time. Or ever."

"Oh, come on, Luc! It's for science!"

"Somehow, that did not make me want to do it anymore."

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Before they knew it, the groups arrived in Hytherra, one of the most famous shopping districts in Fyrigmark, right outside of Maersjot.

The winding streets of Hytherra's bazaar were filled with an array of colorful dancers and other street performers entertaining tourists, bustling marketplaces full of traders and hagglers, and a general array of people running around, shopping, trying to get somewhere. They weren't lying when they said it was a busy place. It seemed to be a scene out of time and out of worry, prosperous and lively. As they travelled down the roads, the Fyrs in the lead gathered the group and gestured for them to follow closely through the crowd. The atmosphere was enough to overload the senses with the crowd, the loud music, the laughter and chatting, and the sharp scents of spices and herbs wafting through the air, all to the beat of the drums from the booths and stalls leading to the shopping center.

"What is this?" Marth asked, staring at the wall of people around them.

"Hytherra?" Clio said in a questioning tone. She and Thalia looked at each other in confusion. "Is there something wrong?"

"How are we supposed to… get through? There doesn't seem to be any straight paths or streets."

"Well, it takes a little bit of getting used to, but you'll eventually get a hang of traversing through the crowds," Thalia assured him.

"This reminds me of the bazaars I've seen in travels," Ike said.

Samus nodded. "Same here. Even on different planets and with different items being sold, the general feel is basically the same."

Pit had a bothered look on his face, compared to the more cautious looks of the other people, drawing the Fyrs' attention to him.

"What's with that look?" Eric asked him.

"Oh," Pit said after a moment, shifting his focus back to their group. "It's just a lot of… people."

"Well, of course there's a lot of people," Thalia said with a roll of her eyes as she placed a hand on her hip, "it's a marketplace. And in a town like Hyetherra, this is the gathering place of everyone."

"Do you get nervous in crowds or something?" Clio asked, worried about his obvious discomfort.

"Oh, no worries. I'll be fine. It just takes a little adjusting, I guess," Pit waved off the Solbergs' concern.

"Why are we missing people?" Gerard asked.

"We're missing people?!" the siblings exclaimed. They did that a lot.

"Yes, Link, Peach, and Bowser, from what I can tell."

"I'm sure they'll be able to manage," Samus said drily. Link nodded, arriving back at the group (surprising Marth who hadn't noticed Link's absence until he snuck up behind him, grabbing Marth by the sides in an attempt to startle him). Link carried a translucent light blue-green scarf from one of the dancers around his shoulders, sporting a grin.

"Yeah! We'll be fine!" Link commented after getting slapped by Marth for his sneak attack. "This place is great!" he exclaimed while rubbing his newly bruised shoulder, gesturing to the Fyrish people making their way through the bazaar to the central square of Hytherra where the dancers were located. He moved his shoulders in time with the music being played all around them, having already gotten the feel of the odd Fyrish time meter.

A few of the others gave him a look. "What?" he asked. "The music is catchy! All of the people are very kind too! They'll just grab you to dance with them. I like it, it's fun."

Marth turned to Thalia and Clio. "It's just strange to some of us since we've never been to a festival like this, and I come from a time of war. It's odd to see people this happy just to… be here, I guess. We'll manage."

"If you're sure…" the twins said in unison as they glanced between each other.

"We'll help you through the crowd this time," Eric said with a smile from where he had begun to dance with Link, trying to teach him some Fyrish moves. "Follow our moves! Can you dance, Luc?"

Lucario turned his gaze from where he had been intently studying the large crowds of people. "I do not dance, and since I'm currently trying to process that massive number of aura signatures around me, I think I'll stick to the edges of the crowd and catch up to you at the end."

"Do you want us to grab you some food?" Clio asked.

"I do not normally need food, but, if you think this body might, I would appreciate something small."

The girls cheerfully acquiesced and waved as the aura Pokemon disappeared like a shadow into the crowd. They turned back to the tourists they'd arrived with, who were either dancing with Link and Eric, or already perusing the wares in the booths closest to them.

"Still don't know where Peach and Bowser are," Samus commented. "But they'll definitely be fine. She most likely saw something that garnered her interests and Bowser probably trailed after her like he always does."

Gerard cleared his throat, seeing that it was a perfect moment for a lesson on Fyrish culture. He waited until all attention was on him. "You see, dancing is a very integral part of Fyrish culture. It was through dance and music that the warring people of our nation were able to come together as one. We have many shows that are completely instrumental that tell the story of the early Fyrish through dance. From a young age, Fyrs are taught to dance. The arts are held in the same esteem as math, science, language, and history. Therefore, marketplaces like this are a common and everyday occurance all over the nation, although, it is more common on the eastern side of the nation where our region, Safnaeldr, and Nova Roma and Paavitra are located, since this is the original Fyrish territory. The other two regions were formed much later by completely different people."

"Some will take to it more than others," Clio said, gesturing towards Link as he began to match Eric's foot movements as the tune changed to something slightly slower and more bouncy.

"You don't have to dance if you don't want to," Thalia said quickly. "It's mostly just the performers and people who really enjoy it. Also, really energetic tourists."

Then, the most reluctant of the entire group spoke up. "I refuse to go in there," Pikachu said with a snarl, baring his teeth at the throng of humans. "Nope. Not doing it."

Not only was he tired and not a morning person, he was also very sore and achy and in pain from turning from a tiny mouse pokemon into a fully functioning human teenager, who also really wasn't great with people. His run in with Pit this morning was evidence of that.

"Pikachu, it'll be fine," Samus said, trying to encourage him. "It'll be over before you even know it. Once you get the hang of getting around, it's actually a lot faster than almost any market I've ever been to. And there's lots of cool trinkets and things to look at."

Pikachu continued to grumble, even as Eric left Link dancing with the twins, a faltering Pit, and an amused Marth and Ike. But what about Isaac? No one was really sure, maybe haggling, maybe getting food, maybe looking for Peach and Bowser. Isaac was just the type of guy that went off and did things, so no one was concerned.

"Need some help?" Eric asked. Samus gave an easy half-smile.

"We'll be fine, I'm sure."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Are you doubting Samus?" Pikachu asked sourly, his now nonexistent hackles raising instinctively.

"Not at all, little dude," Eric straightening his back a bit as he put a hand on Pikachu's fluffy hair. "I'm doubting your ability. You don't look so great right now. Are you feeling alright? Need some help?"

Pikachu was not in the mood to deal with any of this right now. The sandalwood and the various scents of spices and food and human sweat were tickling his nose in their putrescence, simply adding to his already great discomfort.

"I don't need any help, I can handle it," he practically snarled, his nose scrunching and his lips curling. Eric's eyebrows shot up, sensing he had overstepped something.

"We can't force you," Eric said softly, removing his hand from Pikachu's head. "So, if you really don't want to go through there, I can try and take you through some back roads. It'll take a little bit longer, but we'll be out of the way from people and I know a few nice little areas where we could get some food stuffs. I didn't mean to imply you weren't able to take care of yourself, sorry. Just concerned for your health."

Pikachu muttered something under his breath, but nodded acceptance at the apology, feeling like he should apologize himself, but not ready to try. The blonde was not great with apologies. He was a leap into action, say what he thinks (It used to just be pikaaaa, but the point stands. It was a very expressive pika), do what he thought was right regardless of the consequences, type of person. He wasn't great at listening to advice, despite his time on a team. It's not like Ash ever knew what to do anyways.

"Yeah, Eric, that sounds good. I wouldn't mind seeing the backways. I like to find obscure locations and escape routes," Samus said, taking up Eric's offer with the knowledge that Pikachu wouldn't have of his own volition, even if it would have been better for him in the long run.

Eric laughed. "You blow up enough planets for that to become a necessity." He didn't comment on Samus taking him up on his offer for Pikachu. "Oh!" he hit his open palm with a fist as he thought of something. "We can't call you Pikachu here."

"Why?"

"Because those don't exist in our world."

"Oh! Pika-!" the twins called out suddenly with matching expressions of glee, probably about to ask Pikachu to join them, but Eric interrupted before they could say anything.

"Ah, ah ah. Peter."

"Oh, because we can't call him Pikachu here?" they looked at each other with pleased expressions. "That's a good name. Yeah, a good strong name. I like it."

Peter bristled a little bit. "I don't want you to make spur of the moment decisions for me."

Samus hummed thoughtfully. "I think it's a good name. It seems to fit."

"I was thinking of it on the way here. Pit helped me come up with it."

"Now I really don't want to be called that."

Samus rolled her eyes. "Now you're just being contrary. I like it. Give it a try today, and if you really don't like it, we can try something else."

Pika-Peter, grumbled but nodded his assent. It wasn't an awful name. He was surprised Pit and Eric managed to come up with it. They both seemed kind of… dumb. To put it nicely. Eric took Samus and Peter around the backway while the twins darted off to catch up with the rest of the group, wandering and looking at wares under the watchful eye of Gerard. At some point, Isaac had reappeared, now sporting a bag of bread, some smoked cheese, and some books tucked under his arm.

"It took me forever to find an English vendor," he said, in regards to the books.

"Where'd you even get the money for that?" Clio asked.

He flipped out a gold coin from nowhere. "Had a few of these. I saw they were excited about it when I offered it as payment and I knew they were trying to cheat me, so I made them give me all this stuff and some change," he showed them a few paper bills. "Money in your world, is it?"

"Yeah, it's called a euro," Thalia explained. "We have them because we're a part of the European Union. Most of Europe is a part of it."

Ike spoke through his bread. "So you're all one country, or you're all in one alliance?"

"It's kind of a preventative measure," Thalia said. "After the World Wars, we decided that it would be best if Europe was a united front. This also means that we can't attack each other. Sadly, Russia never joined."

Gerard muttered so only Marth could hear. "Good riddance."

Marth reminded himself to do some research later on the political framework of the world.

The group feasted on the bread and cheese provided by the alchemist, eventually finding Peach and Bowser at a stall selling jewelry and precious stones. Lucario beat them all to their destination, and they found him meditating on a bench in front of the mall, in the square where everyone was dancing. Even in all the chaos, he still managed to get weird looks. Probably because he was standing in the crane position on the back of the bench. And holding it perfectly, too.

Tourists began to gather around the spectacle, as Lucario shifted from one foot to one arm, until his was balancing precariously on the corner of the bench. He continued to shift through various forms, oblivious to the crowd around him. It wasn't until he heard the applause, after a particularly amazing flip; that he realized he was surrounded by curious foreigners.

"Bruh! Is that dude made of rubber?!" shouted one enthusiastic stereotypical American in English from his place in the crowd. His pants would have been around his ankles, if people who wore that style of clothing could afford to visit the hub of culture, Fyrigmark, the authors typed passive-aggressively. Lucario uneasily hopped onto the ground before spotting his most loyal fans, the twins.

He walked through the crowd, trying to ignore them, as the twins beckoned him over. They gestured to the mall and their group began moving towards it, this time faster now that the crowds were dispersing. Bowser took a detour and grabbed the money people had thrown at Lucario.

The mall was an extremely large building, as is per usual.

"The castle is supposed to be the biggest building in a kingdom," Marth said.

"Yeah, well, ours isn't the castle. It's a castle. Each province has a different main royal castle. Ours was originally a fort, used for prisoners of war, strategy meetings, and torture."

Marth didn't know how to tactfully respond to that, but that's okay! Because Link did. Well, not the tactfully part.

"Do you guys still have some of the toys?" Ike gave him a weird look. Link amended his statement. "The torture toys."

"Link, that's not what I was giving you a look for," Ike sighed. "You mean torture tools?"

"Yes? I'm just asking if they torture people down there still."

The girls blinked. "Didn't sound like it, but to answer. No. Not currently."

"Just out of curiosity, and to confirm a personal theory, what did you think that sounded like?" Isaac asked coyly.

The girls shuffled awkwardly, flashing nervous and pointed looks at the more polite members of the group. Ike grumbled, "You know what they were thinking."

"What personal theory?" Peach questioned demurely, not at all bothered by the turn the conversation had taken. The girls decided they had to have a girl's talk later.

"That there are no limits to what they'll talk about."

"Oh, I knew that just from what they talk about while playing Smash."

Bowser chortled, stuffing the money in his pockets. "That's why I like it here. Great minds think alike!"

"Oh no," the girls murmured as one.

"And your thoughts should never be spoken aloud," Marth muttered, his arms crossed.

Gerard appeared with Eric, Samus, and Peter in tow, luckily having gone to meet with them and missing the first part of the conversation, unluckily catching the next part.

"When does torture involve toys?" Pit asked rhetorically. "I thought that was the exact opposite?"

"Boy, do I have a lesson for you," Link said, wrapping an arm around Pit's shoulders with a smirk. Marth slapped him on the back of the head. Link winked. "Don't worry Marth, there's room for you too in our little tryst."

There was a pause before Pit gasped. "No! No tryst!"

Gerard stared for a long moment. "Please refrain from talking about that kind of stuff in public and in front of my charges. It is highly inappropriate, and I really don't want to make this into a big deal."

Eric sidled up to Pit. "What did I miss, kiddo?"

"I need an adult!"

"I am an adult," Link responded. Marth sighed, cocking a hip as he looked at Link with something akin to pity. Link laughed. "I'm just joking, he's too young for me anyway."

"Enough!" Gerard stepped in, putting a chilling hand on Link's shoulder. Link gulped, surprised he had forgotten his slight fear of the man. "What did I tell you? This foolishness will end now. We have business to attend to. Come along."

He led them into the den of inequity, the home of commercialism and, even worse, commoner's sales and coupons.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

So, this is a surprise, right? A chapter only... like a month after the last one? Wow! We worked hard for you guys, and yet we still haven't made it to the mall. It's been 87 years...

We're just playing, next chapter will finally be the end of this loooong intro, then the real shenanigans and plot can happen. The rest of the story will have more of an episodic feel, with full days happening each chapter. There is a very big over-arcing plot, but honestly it doesn't become a large focus until it's progressed farther. So, yes, lots of ridiculous humor, characters, development, foreshadowing, and stupid jokes are coming your way, with hopefully a better update speed.

This chapter is dedicated to RealisticFantasy, who was sick when they reviewed our last chapter, and their review was so motivational for us to want to get this one out faster. We've had this written for a while, literally the day we got the review, we started working on this chapter, but we just wanted to get to the mall. We gave up and are posting this now at a little over 5,500 words or so.

Thanks for reading, stay tuned!
E&E