Title: 010 - Secret
Author: schyra
Rating: ?
Pairings/Characters: Haru, Lucia
Warnings: Angst.
Summary: Nobody knew why.
Author's Note: Bahahahahha. Arghs.
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010 - Secret
Nobody knew why.
On the day of the funeral, she cried. It was mid-Autumn, the wind cold and crisp. Leaves fell like so many faded promises to the ground. And she cried. He was gone, wrapped up tight in white sheets and a casket, encased in cold, hard black wood, with their nation's emblem stamped on it in white. And she cried.
He stood to the side and did nothing, said nothing.
There was nothing for him to say.
Other people had all said his piece a while ago, anything he could have, might have said.
And he was just like the rest of them anyways, just another person who didn't know why.
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Lucia turned to face him, grin wide and ecstatic. "I'm going to do it," he said.
Haru smiled, confused. Dreading.
"Do... what?"
"Propose to her," the blonde laughed, playfully pushing Haru's head to the side. Haru laughed, relieved. He hadn't said it. Lucia hadn't said it. "You have a ring?" he joked. Lucia snarled and put his hands on his hips. "Of course!"
They laughed and joked, celebrating, planning how Lucia should go about his proposal.
Should it be a candle-lit, romantic dinner?
A surprise question after a day of fun at the theme park?
Lucia laughed out loud, the first time in ages, and Haru smiled along with him, happy for his friend. At the back of his mind, he heard it, the sound of metal screeching as it bent. It was okay. Because Lucia hadn't said it.
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Elie had been as surprised as the rest of them. Or at least, as surprised as Haru had been when Lucia had first said he liked her- no, announced his interest. With tears in her eyes, she rushed forwards, enveloping the blonde in an embrace.
"Yes," she said. "Yes, yes, yes!" Over and over again.
They were getting married.
She was so happy.
Haru smiled at them, at his best friend laughing and spinning her around, at the woman in his arms crying and laughing with joy. And he pretended that he wasn't crying too. Because Lucia hadn't said it. Those words hadn't come from his lips.
Their fathers were ecstatic, their mothers even more so. Cattleya and Elie wanted to go find a dress right. Now. And everyone was happily grinning, himself included. Pulling out a calendar, they worked on setting a date. King couldn't stop smiling. Haru couldn't either.
Crash, he was thinking. Crash it.
At the wedding, he was best man. He smiled throughout the ceremony, entertaining guests, keeping an eye on the newly-wed couple. Making sure no one, especially not Gale, drank themselves silly and then decided that stripping was a good idea. He smiled in all the photos. A week later, he helped Lucia move in to the new place. He packed what Lucia didn't into cardboard boxes, and helped carry them out of their once-shared apartment into the new house Lucia now shared with Elie.
They both met at college, as normal. Lucia came with Elie now.
Crash and burn.
When he was alone, Haru found that he couldn't get Lucia's laughing face out of his mind. He couldn't forget about the girl by his side either. It was all okay, he would whisper to himself at night.
Because Lucia hadn't said it yet.
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He'd been right.
Jam it in, turn the key. The engine roars to life.
He'd been right, about being so very, very wrong.
Grab the gear stick, yank it into position.
It was all so very, very wrong.
He gunned it, stomping down on the accelerator until the pedal lay flat. What did it matter now? What did anything, at all matter now? He hadn't said it. He hadn't said it, but then...
He hadn't needed to.
Crash.
Lucia's smiling face, Elie's radiant laugh.
They were happy.
How he wanted to cover everything in fire, make everything fade in a dance of red, to pound it all down to ash, toss it up into smoke.
How could he have missed this? Have tried to miss this?
Lucia hadn't said he loved her, but he hadn't needed to.
Just like his friend hadn't realized Haru had been clinging to a faint glimmer of hope. It was a horrible thing, he knew. To wish to replace someone. To be by someone's side, instead of watching that person be by the side of another. It was a horrible, horrible thing.
Oh, how he knew he was the lowest.
How he had kept deluding himself...
Crash and burn.
Breaking the rules, going way, way past the speed limit. Leaving laws behind in the dust. Faster, he kept thinking. Faster, faster.
Crash and burn.
The street lights gleamed yellow in the night, stretching as light bent, as he sped past. Haru smiled grimly to himself. In the end, it all came back to Lucia.
He had no safety belt on. It didn't matter.
Crash and burn.
Crash and burn.
Crash and burn.
Crash and burn.
Why prolong the inevitable?
Just short of breaking the barrier, of plunging over the edge of the cliff, he closed his eyes. Haru closed his eyes, and waited. The impact, several things fracturing, dislocating, shattered. He didn't feel it. The sound of metal bending, as the barrier crumpled, gave way, then broke. The car hurtled over the edge.
And then Haru smiled.
Crash and burn, Lucia. Crash and burn.
The next morning, everyone came to know that Haru Glory had died, and nobody knew why.
- - -
END.