Chapter 10
Roxanne opened her eyes and found herself in what looked like a hospital. She was in a tiny curtained-off area with a heart monitor attached to her finger. She was wearing a paper gown under the thin cotton blanket.
"Hello?" she called out. The curtain moved and a man wearing a uniform stepped inside. Roxanne blinked. A prison guard?
Everything came rushing back to her. But wasn't the world supposed to end? And...
"The pod! The second pod! Who was in it?" She sat up too fast and her head spun.
"Um, I don't know if I'm the right person to..." the nervous young guard began babbling.
"WHO WAS IT?" She shouted and sat up. The curtain moved again.
"Miss Ritchie? Please calm down. It was Megamind." An older man said as he stepped inside. Followed by Bitey and ...
Roxanne leapt out of bed, sending the heart monitor crashing to the floor as she threw herself into his arms and kissed him fiercely. He patted her shoulder awkwardly.
"There there...Miss Ritchie." He said in a strangely accented voice. Roxanne pulled away. The Warden cleared his throat.
"This is not Megamind. This is...well we're not sure who he is. We've known he wasn't Megamind for a while now but he refused to drop his little charade until he spoke to either you or that big blue pain in my ass. Megamind is still asleep."
"Oh." Roxanne blushed. "Sorry."
"Oh no apology necessary. So long as my wife doesn't find out." Dr. Finlayson said. He moved the face on his watched and morphed back into his own short, balding, ageing self still wearing pyjamas and a dressing gown. "It's true then? The blue man destroyed the black hole?"
"He did?" Roxanne's brain blanked out. "But it was still there. An hour past the deadline it was still there."
"Time dilation, Miss Ritchie. It was gone, but it looked like it was still there from this far away."
"Oh." She had no idea what he was talking about but decided to take his word for it. She turned to the Warden.
"Where's Megamind?" she asked. He opened the curtain on the other side of her bed.
"The doctor says he'll be fine but with that huge brain a concussion knocks him out for a while."
Roxanne stared, barely able to believe it was him. He was pale against the white cotton blanket. His eyes were squeezed shut as though his sleep was not a peaceful one and he was on a heart monitor too. She checked both of his wrists for hologram watches before she would believe it was really him. Bitey hovered over to take a look and Roxanne patted it absently.
"How?" she asked. The Warden shrugged.
"He was passed out when he crash-landed, he hasn't said anything. We were hoping you could tell us what happened. We've all seen your broadcast, by the way. That's how we knew the world wasn't ending." Bitey must have kept filming it long after Roxanne had lost hope. She smiled. "Was there anyone else with Megamind?" she asked.
"That hairy man from the broadcast? No. He was alone." Roxanne's spirits sank. Oh Wayne. "Who was he anyway? He looked familiar."
"Someone Megamind hired to help him out while Minion was away." Roxanne lied.
"Okay. Well, he didn't come back." Roxanne nodded, blinking back tears again. But he was here. Her Megamind was alive and asleep in the bed beside hers in...
She couldn't help but laugh. They were in the infirmary of Metro City Penitentiary. She kissed Megamind and gently pressed her forehead to his before turning to the Warden.
"Are my clothes around?" she asked. The back of the paper gown was feeling a bit breezy. She blushed when she realised she had been giving the Warden, the guard and Dr. Finlayson quite a show.
"They were...ahm...dirty. I sent them to the laundry. The guard put a jumpsuit on the end of your bed." The Warden said. "We'll leave you to get changed."
"Miss Ritchie. I have to go. I'm being sent back to Switzerland later on today." Dr. Finlayson said. She turned to him.
"Thank you for your help." She said. "They couldn't have done it without you."
"You're welcome." He said. "Next time, tell the blue man to just ask for my help instead of kidnapping me?" Roxanne smiled sadly.
"I know the feeling. Goodbye, Doctor."
Roxanne was given some private time in the infirmary shower. They even managed to find her a toothbrush (much to her relief) and she dressed in the orange jumpsuit of the inmates.
The prison was quiet. According to the guard most of the inmates escaped through the holes she and Megamind had made in the prison walls during their crash-landing. The landing sequence was obviously a relic of Megamind's villainous old days.
Once she was clean, dry and dressed she climbed into bed next to her boyfriend. The bed was small but neither of them was overly tall and he was so thin she managed to squeeze in comfortably. She arranged his arm around her, rested her head on his chest and lay there contentedly.
Megamind woke warm and comfortable with Roxanne snuggled up to him. He smiled sleepily and kissed the top of her head, as he often did in the mornings, and squeezed her tightly. She smelled good. She felt good too. He opened his eyes and looked down at her.
She was wearing an orange prison jumpsuit. Megamind frowned. Normally he was open to any kind of odd thing she wanted him to try out but a prison fantasy was something he didn't know she was into. He shifted around trying to relieve the pins and needles in the arm Roxanne was monopolising and his head started to throb. That was one hell of a knock Wayne had given him...
Wayne.
He sat bolt upright, almost knocking Roxanne off the bed.
"Roxanne? What happened? Roxanne!" he shouted. She regained her balance and sat up. She smiled down at him. His eyes were wide and panicked.
"Megamind! Calm down. We crash-landed in prison. The vortex is gone." He slumped back and stared up at the ceiling. How? "What happened up there?" she asked.
"He hit me. I think." He felt the back of his head gingerly. There was swelling there. "I don't remember anything else."
"He must have put you in the escape pod." Megamind stared up at the ceiling.
"Fly to the mouth, activate laser, cross the wires and kaboom" he said to himself. "He must have been planning this all along."
"Probably. He really cared about you." She gently stroked his face.
"And the vortex?" he asked. Roxanne nodded.
"It's gone, there's only a dust cloud left." He shook his head. Thank you, Wayne. The world was safe. But now he was gone. Again. Only this time Megamind hadn't just lost a worthy opponent, he'd lost a friend. He sighed and Roxanne kissed him, long and slow, then was surprised when she pulled away.
"You still taste like vomit. Go and shower!"
Megamind showered and brushed his teeth. He changed into a familiar orange jumpsuit and met up with Roxanne in the mess hall for some lunch (prison-grade mystery meat casserole and mashed potato). It wasn't there most spectacular date, but it wasn't their worst either. At least he wasn't disguised as Bernard.
The Warden met them as they were finishing eating. He didn't have much to do at the moment now all of his prisoners had escaped.
"Miss Ritchie" His tone turned from friendly to icy. "Megamind." Megamind looked up at the man.
"Admit it. You missed me." He gave him a smug grin. The Warden glared.
"Like a hole in the head. You're supposed to be the good guy now and you're still causing me trouble!"
"Relax. Once I'm out I'll round up your prisoners for you."
"Who says you're leaving? Do you have any idea how much this damage is going to cost the city?"
"I just saved the universe from certain doom, I think they'll forgive me a few million dollars worth of equipment and building damage." The Warden crossed his arms.
"You're a villain."
"You have missed me haven't you?" Roxanne smiled as she watched them banter back and forth. If the other inmates were Megamind's 'uncles' then this had to be the 'dad'. Once they had exhausted their arguments the Warden sat down at the table next to Roxanne.
"There's a media circus outside. That broadcast of yours didn't cut off until after you landed and once the news got out that nearly all the inmates in the prison had escaped through the hole in the wall everyone put two and two together." Roxanne shook her head. A tiny part of her wanted to be part of it and report on the rest of the story. The rest of her decided to take the day off. "There's a back entrance we use for high-profile court-cases and the like, I can sneak you both out of there if you want." Good to know, thought Roxanne, and filed that information away for the future. Megamind shook his head and winced as his head started to throb again.
"I'll go deal with it. Is there any Tylenol?" he asked.
"I'll send a guard to the infirmary. Are you ready to leave?" Megamind turned to Roxanne.
"Want a tour before we leave? I can show you my old cell." He offered.
"Um, no, I wouldn't if I were you." The Warden said. Megamind looked at him and the man sighed. "We put Hal Stewart in there to keep him away from the other inmates. They weren't too happy with him for trying to kill their little blue nephew. Anyway, he's...redecorated." He glanced at Roxanne and looked away. The walls were plastered with posters of her, as well as some fairly graphic graffiti that he had removed again and again but Hal kept on replacing them. "I might get the guards to clean it up while he's gone actually."
"Hal's gone?" Roxanne asked, surprised and a little unnerved.
"He got out with the other inmates during exercise time." The Warden glared back at Megamind. Megamind nodded. The whole escapee thing had been a bit of a joke to him until he realised among his fairly harmless 'uncles' there were some bad people in prison.
"I'll get right on it." Megamind promised. He got up from the table.
"Oh and here are your things." The Warden said and passed them both a paper bag containing their clothes. Roxanne opened hers and felt around inside until she found the little black velvet box. She took it and dropped it into Megamind's bag. It didn't feel like it belonged to her yet.
Megamind did as he promised. On the way out of the prison he stood for nearly fifteen minutes in an impromptu press conference explaining the situation and answering questions. Roxanne stood next to the Warden at the police car assigned to take her and Megamind home. One reporter broke away from the rest and approached her.
Harry Newman. Flanked by his camera-person.
"Roxanne Ritchie. We all saw your live broadcast of the event. How does it feel being back on Earth safe and sound?" She stared at the ineffectual little man, but suddenly the fight wasn't in her anymore.
"It feels pretty damned good Harry. I didn't think we were going to make it back in one piece."
"Did you really think Mega Man was dead?" She bit down an angry retort.
"Yes. Yes I did. It was the worst moment of my life."
"What are your plans now the universe isn't ending?" She smiled.
"I think I'll take some leave, relax a bit. You'll be right to handle Metro City's news on your own for a while won't you?" she asked sweetly. He grinned.
"I might be willing to help you out Miss Ritchie. Well folks, you heard it here first. Our exclusive interview with Roxanne Ritchie, safe and sound and happy to be home. Back to you Kevin."
"Chris." Roxanne hissed.
"Back to you Chris!" he said cheerfully. Roxanne sighed. They may lose some ratings while she was away but damned if she cared right now, she was taking a break.
Back home they were greeted at the front door by an army of brainbots all bowwing excitedly at them. They zoomed around their Mommy and Daddy all wanting pats and attention. Even Bitey was surrounded by her blue counterparts all listening intently as she bowwed the details of their adventure.
Last to approach them was iBot. Roxanne's face fell when she saw him hovering there all alone looking around with his red eye.
[[Music Man?}} He bowwed. Roxanne didn't understand the words but knew what he had asked.
"He didn't come home, iBot." She said, patting his dome.
"He said to tell you 'goodbye'." Megamind remembered at the sight of the white modified brainbot. He stroked the brainbot's dome and it made a booo-ing sound. "I'm sorry iBot.". It booo-ed again and floated away softly playing Space Oddity by David Bowie. Roxanne watched him float away and Megamind squeezed her shoulders. "Come on. Let's go inside."
It felt strange to do normal things like make coffee and sit on the couch. Megamind turned on the TV to relax but of course their story was on every network. Roxanne cringed at the sight of herself on the screen. Her hair was a mess. She was pale and bruised with smudged makeup and what looked like a vomit-stain on the collar of her blouse.
"Oh God! Everyone is seeing that aren't they?" she moaned. Megamind watched the screen wide-eyed, trying to think of something positive to say.
"Um...well you did a great job! You sound fantastic." He said.
"Turn it off. Ugh!" she covered her eyes in despair until he switched the screen off. When she looked up again he was gazing at her with a small smile on his face. "What?' she said. He leaned in and kissed her.
"I'm just glad we're here." He said and kissed her again. Roxanne stroked the back of his head and his back.
"Mmm." She was suddenly very aware of the fact they were finally alone, without any pressing matters they had to deal with. She ran her nails over the coarse fabric of his prison jumpsuit and he shivered and deepened the kiss. His fingers were gently tugging on her hair and next they had made their way to the buttons on the front of her jumpsuit. His lips were on her throat then and pulling her suit down over her shoulders when...
Knock knock knock.
"Helloooo? Anybody home?" Roxanne growled in frustration. Megamind's eyes widened and he looked up.
"Wayne?" he said excitedly. Then his face fell.
"Well no, sir, but I'll take that as a compliment on my excellent physique." Minion said cheerfully. Roxanne hastily buttoned herself back up again and Megamind sat back on the couch. He hadn't realised he was still holding onto hope until then. "Might I remind you that we agreed the lounge area is designated an intimacy-free zone?"
"A what?" Roxanne asked.
"Only while you're in the country. You weren't due back until next week." Megamind stood up and smiled. In spite of everything it was good to see the fish again.
"I heard you had some excitement so we came home early." Minion said. Shiyounin came in behind him.
"Saving universe now Mega Mind? You will be needing pay rise, yes?" she asked. Megamind immediately went over to her and planted a kiss on her dome. Roxanne smiled. If this were any other woman on Earth she would be insanely jealous of the open flirtations between them, but seeing how Shiyounin was a fish in a robotic suit she felt she could handle it. She went to Minion and hugged him.
"It's good to see you Minion." She said.
"I get that you're going for realism but isn't this a bit much?" Megamind looked Shiyounin up and down. She was wearing a floral dress over her white enamel suit and her normally streamlined look was punctuated by two very round and quite large breasts in the appropriate places. She laughed prettily.
"It is surprise. Not sure how to get through customs so used deception." She and Minion shared a smile and then she reached into her bra and pulled out a glass sphere.
Inside was a sleeping fish. It looked like a tiny Minion except its scales were mostly white, and it didn't have teeth.
"Ohhhh." Roxanne looked at it, mouth hanging open. Minion reached in and retrieved a second sphere. This one was a white coi fish that looked just like its mother. This one was awake and looking around curiously. "Shiyounin! They're beautiful!"
Megamind was staring open-mouthed at the baby fish.
"How is that even possible?" he breathed. Megamind hadn't thought their DNA would have been compatible. Minion held up his baby girl proudly.
"We just gave it a try and here they are! This is Rei." He looked fondly at the little white coi, who smiled back at him. "And the sleepy head over there is Minion Junior." Megamind frowned.
"Weren't there more than two? When coi spawn they can have dozens of eggs..." he stopped when he saw Shiyounin blush.
"There were more. Shiyounin ate the rest before I could chase her out of the pond." Minion laughed at the memory. "I got these little guys safe and sound before she nabbed them too." Roxanne and Megamind both stared at the robot fish parents with identical weirded-out expressions. "It's a fish thing." Minion explained. Roxanne cleared her throat while Megamind gave an awkward laugh.
"Yeah...a fish thing."
"Tell us what happened here! We saw news story on aeroplane." Shiyounin changed the subject.
They all sat down together in the lounge sharing their stories. Roxanne held the little sphere containing the sleeping Minion Junior while Megamind filled them in on their adventures.
It was dark outside when Minion finally yawned and suggested he and his new family retreat to the pond out back. Roxanne watched them go with a smile on her face. Megamind stood and offered her his hand, then helped her to her feet. She linked her arm in his and they walked wordlessly upstairs. Roxanne closed the bedroom door and felt Megamind's arms circle around her waist from behind. She smiled when she felt his lips brush against the back of her neck and let out a happy sigh.
"Your thoughts, Miss Ritchie?" Megamind's lips were against her ear. A shiver ran down her spine and she turned to kiss him while his hands busied themselves at her buttons.
"I didn't think we'd ever be here all together again." She said. He yanked the top down over her shoulders and kissed down her neck.
"Neither did I." He confessed. Roxanne shut her eyes and gently grazed her nails over his scalp and stroked his ears in that way she knew drove him mad. Sure enough he grabbed her hips and pressed her up against the bedroom door. He paused for a moment.
"What is it?" she asked.
"This is about the time somebody is usually comes bursting into the room." He stood still as if listening intently. Roxanne rolled her eyes and shoved him backwards onto the bed, shedding the rest of her jumpsuit before climbing on top of him and saying;
"Not tonight Megamind."
Later, much later, sweaty and exhausted Megamind gazed down at Roxanne. She was a mess with mad hair and limbs tangled in sheets still breathing hard, once again laying on his arm and sending it to sleep. The ring was downstairs.
None of that mattered.
"Marry me?" He asked. She slowly smiled and kissed his lips.
"Yes!"
The next morning Megamind sat contentedly in the kitchen sipping his standard 8-sugar cup of coffee. Shiyounin and Roxanne looked to be having some girl-talk time in the lounge from the way they would stop talking every now and then and look over at their respective mates, giggle, and then continue. Shiyounin was very interested in Roxanne's engagement ring. It looked like Minion was going to have to go shopping soon.
"Here, hold this!" Minion thrust a glass sphere into Megamind's free hand. He looked down at the gummy little version of Minion and smiled. Minion Junior smiled back. It couldn't talk yet. It was only a week out of the egg after all but he was observing everything around him. Megamind cradled the sphere in one arm and watched Minion shake fish flakes into Rei's sphere. The little white coi hungrily gulped them down.
Hmm. Offspring. Megamind looked at Roxanne speculatively. Her head. His colouring. Eyes...blue or green it didn't matter. His intellect and her attitude...he smiled to himself. Roxanne noticed the look he was giving her and glanced down at the baby fish in his arm, putting two and two together.
"Nuh uh no way Megamind! I am too young to lose my figure to your gigantic-headed children!" she said. He paid no attention. He was busy picturing their little boy or girl with that same angry look on its face. "You hear me! No!"