Chapter 10

Talk

"How do you feel about me, Ehd Wyrd?"

"What kind of question is that?" His green eyes flashed my way, suddenly wary.

"I just want to know... I mean Alyss said..."

"I need you to go and get something to dry these things. Go and tell my mother, so she can take care of them. Hurry along." He'd cut me off and ignored my question.

"Fine!" I spun on my heel and disappeared, hurrying down the hallway. "Stupid dragon! Does he think I'm just his maid? I don't care if he is a prince, he doesn't get to just order me around!" I muttered all the way along the corridors to the main chamber. I'd gone from terrified to furious with just one encounter with the bronze lizard.

I found May and Rose, and told them about what Ehd Wyrd wanted. May hurried to gather up rags and towels, but Rose wanted to talk to me about Alyss and her new wings.

"Does this mean she's a real fairy? What's going to happen if my brother wants to marry her after the curse is broken? He could be expected to carry on the line, didn't her mother die giving birth?" Her questions were too much on my over-taxed mind.

"I don't know! Please! For all I know, in a month none of this will matter anyway. The dragons have already overcome a whole world full of powerful elves, and now I'm expected to be strong enough to keep them out of this one. Excuse me if I can't get excited about a pair of wings and a royal lineage!" I felt terrible as soon as the words were out. I did care. That was the whole problem; I cared about it all.

"Sorry." I apologized and turned to go. I didn't want to stick around for more bad news and questioning. I left the main chamber, but in the corridor I realized I had nowhere I could go, that I wanted to be. I could go back to the magic meadow and practice with my grandmother. I could even go to my sleeping chamber. But I didn't want to practice, and I definitely didn't want to sleep. I wanted to scream, and cry, and rail at the situation.

I walked down to the entrance cavern, and sat on the ledge to watch the waves churning below. The mist of the water filled the air, and I wiped the dampness from my face. I hated that I was crying. More than that, I hated that I was alone and crying. I missed my mother and father. I desperately wanted to put my arms around Char'lee, and breathe in the scent of the woods he carried in his uniform. Even if he wouldn't want to talk, he would hold me, and pet my hair.

I especially wished for my mother. She was so different from my father, I often wondered why they ever got married. I didn't want to think about the idea that there was some kind of plan, and R'ness had pushed them together so I could be born. My mother was so far removed from any kind of manipulation. It was like my father was stone, and my mother was water.

She was the one who would sooth me and draw out all my worries and concerns. She was the one who would know what I was hiding, and say just the right thing. She was the one who would want to take me away from all this talk of destiny and prophesy, and shelter me in some remote place where it wouldn't reach us.

It was useless to dream of escape. I cried harder, and my voice was covered by the crushing water below. It was useless to dream of anything. In spite of the training, and all I was learning, I was still convinced I was going to die. My life could be measured in days. I wanted to dream that I could pack a whole lifetime into the days I had left, but I knew that hope was futile.

I was nothing more than a tool. My grandmother had said as much, and M had reduced me even further to food, or bait. I was nobody, and in spite of R'ness telling me I had royal blood in me, I knew I wasn't royal enough to hope that a prince could ever...

I drew my knees up and wept into my folded arms.

"Be'lah, are you okay?" I don't know how he moved so silently as big as he was. I recognized the clicks and growls of Ehd Wyrd's dragon speech.

"Go away!" I wiped the tears, and dried my hands on my skirt. I stood and faced him. "I don't want to talk to you now. Or do you have some other errand you'd like your humble servant to do for you, your highness!" I felt the bitterness choke out of me, and I dropped into an exaggerated curtsey.

"Be'lah... I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I dared to think that we could be... Never mind!" I felt trapped on the ledge. I remembered my training, and dove into the water. I touched the core of magic within me, and swam with the grace of every fish I'd ever observed. My body cut through the water with ease, and I cleared the caverns and kept going. I didn't need to breathe, and I didn't surface until I'd gone around a rocky outcropping, out of sight of the cave. I knew my self-appointed guardian would follow me.

I hid behind a water-gouged rock, and watched him clear the water. Silver water sparkles fell from his body, catching the sunlight and making him appear to be riding on a rainbow. He was beautiful.

The rainbow died in the shadow of the beast. The screech of the black dragon stole my breath, as fear clawed up my spine. No! The dragon attacked, and struck the bronze beauty broadside. I saw a fine spray of blood, as the two tumbled toward the water. They separated before they crashed into the sea.

Ehd Wyrd rushed away from the black monster, and easily outdistanced him. The black spun in midair and flew back toward the cavern opening.

I slid beneath the water's surface as it came close enough to see me. From below the water, I saw Ehd Wyrd attack. Claws raked and teeth snapped in deadly precision, and the black suffered serious damage. Then the bigger dragon wheeled in midair and breathed at its retreating enemy.

I watched, horrified as the glistening wings failed to beat, and the tail stilled; frozen. In seconds it tumbled into the water, and sank. I was torn between wanting to go back and scream for help, and wanting to take on the monster myself. I was afraid of giving away any information, even though M was convinced the black menace was afraid to go near the gateway.

I dove, and swam hard toward where I saw Ehd Wyrd go down. I wasn't sure what a dragon's needs were for air, but I feared if he was unconscious or frozen, he might drown. It's a good thing he was so big, or I might have missed him; he'd sank so far.

I hurried and cast a memory spell, that would allow him to breath underwater. It wouldn't last forever, but I hoped it would be long enough. I saw the slight expansion of his chest, and knew it was working.

I heard a loud splash, and realized the black was diving to find Ehd Wyrd. Even if I brought him up out of the water, he'd still be helpless against those attacks. I left him, and swam a distance away. I rose into the air, thinking to perhaps give the black something else to chase. I came up behind him, and realized he didn't see me, as he focused his attention on finding Ehd Wyrd. I wished for something to throw. I wished I knew the more advanced magic that would allow me to blast him from the air.

Then I remembered something I'd seen when I lived on the coast. I closed my eyes, and again touched the magic within me. I could feel it, pulsing strong, like a living presence inside me. I moved my fingers in a circle, as I pointed at the water. With the other hand, I pointed at the sky, as if twirling clouds and air around my finger. I felt the water answer my call.

The waterspout rose up, like a long, spinning tunnel of air and water. It grew and strengthened, and I sent it after the black dragon. The beast was caught unawares, and it fought to break free of the swirling wind and water, as it was tossed and battered.

It was strong, and all too soon it broke free. I tried to move the waterspout to catch it again, but it evaded my attack. In seconds it seemed to reorient itself, and then it came for me.

I released the spell, and fled, flying through the air. The dragon was faster than I was, and I knew I couldn't out race it. I dove, cleaving the water, and swimming toward the bottom for all I was worth. It dove in after me, and I felt the water freezing around me. I remembered the spell for warmth, and broke free of the icy cold.

The dragon was ungainly in water, and I could swim better and faster. There were rock formations underwater, and I tucked myself in the narrow space between two of these, and waited. I lost him.

The trouble was, if he lost me, he might go for Ehd Wyrd. I couldn't let that happen. I rose to just below the surface of the water, and saw the black dragon circling the area. He was clearly waiting to see if either of us came up. I could swim back to the cave, and get help, but it would mean leaving Ehd Wyrd alone and vulnerable.

I was starting to feel the fatigue of all the swimming and spell casting. I could still feel that fire within, but I wanted to rest. I needed that stupid dragon to leave. I needed it to forget about us. I knew the Oblivion spells of the fourth tier, though I hadn't had any chance to practice them. Still, I just needed him to forget the past hour; that shouldn't be too difficult.

I knew there was only one safe place to cast this spell, and it wasn't from under the water. I timed his circular flight pattern. I needed to move quickly, before he saw me, but I was too terrified to move. I missed the first opportunity, and waited for him to again fly over me. I reminded myself of how much worse it could be if he flew off to bring back the leech.

The shadow passed overhead, and I rose up out of the water. I flew straight for its back, and landed astride its neck, behind the cowl that fanned around its face. It knew I was there in a moment, and I clung to its immense neck as it immediately began a series of aerial contortions to dislodge me. I held on like a barnacle to a piece of driftwood.

I began the chant, eyes closed, fingers digging in beneath sharp scales. I knew the words, and I felt them just out of my grasp. The dragon twisted and tried to bite at me, but he couldn't reach me. Its arms and legs were just a little too short to reach me. I cast a defensive shell, as its tail whipped up to slap at me.

But I couldn't cast the spell for oblivion. Then I remembered M's story, and I realized I didn't need oblivion. What I needed wasn't forgetfulness, but remembrance.

I amplified my voice, and spoke. "I am your worst nightmare! I am an elf, and I am one of many. We have tasted the blood of your mate, Khar'mnn. We will destroy you too. You cannot hide from us; we will avenge our brothers and sisters! Flee dragon! Run far, or we will have our revenge. You will suffer our wrath!"

I could feel its panic. The great heart beneath me pounded so hard I could feel it where I sat. It shrieked and tossed its head.

"No! Vile, cursed, creatures, relent! She is gone! You have taken my heart! What have I that you torment me so?"

"Go now and hide, or you will join her in death!" I forced as much persuasion into it as I could, and the dragon turned toward the mainland. As it flew over the beach, I left its back and headed back toward the water.

The shield I still had up, was the only thing that saved me. The dragon turned on me, and snatched me in its grasp. It couldn't crush or pierce me with its talons, and when it tried to bite me, the jaws couldn't pierce my armor.

"You foolish little girl! You speak no elvish tongue, though your blood is the sweet nectar of elves. I will crack you open and eat you live."

I fought to free myself, but it held me tight. I wasn't sure how long I could hold the shield. How long until it would give up and swallow me whole? I heard an unfamiliar noise, like the low roar of a thousand creatures. I caught a glimpse of shining, metallic, speed and fury, as the bronze dragon barreled into the black, clawing and biting in a deadly frenzy. I was dropped, and I floated in the air.

They fought, and Ehd Wyrd was more fierce than ever. Again and again he bit and clawed at the black, and evaded its counter attacks. Finally it looked as if the black had taken enough abuse. It disengaged, and I watched it turn to leave. Then in a burst of speed, it came for me. I let myself fall from the air, thinking the shell would save me. Ehd Wyrd darted between me and the black, and caught hold of me.

With me in his grasp, he flew, evading the injured black. It was the same maneuvering he'd done before, and the black dragon was no match for his speed and contortions In a dense stand of vegetation, we landed, and after a while, the black finally gave up.

It was clear we were alone, but still he wouldn't release me. I finally let the shield drop, and tried to wiggle between its talons. He tightened his grip.

"Let me go, you stupid lizard!" Abruptly he released his grip, and I fell, landing hard on my behind. "What's wrong with you? That dragon's long gone, and you're behaving like you've lost your mind!"
"Elf, you have no idea! Are you trying to get yourself killed? How many times must I save your life?"

"Save my life? I'm the one who saved your life this time! I would have been fine, if you had just taken off when you had the chance. Why come back and attack him?" He growled low in his throat.

"I cam back, because he was looking for you. He wouldn't follow me; he wanted you."

"He didn't know where I was; I was hidden."

"He doesn't need to be able to see you, he can smell you."

"Not under water he can't. I'm a water elf, Ehd Wyrd; I can swim like a fish. He couldn't catch me. You didn't have to come back for me."

"Yes I did."

"I'm not helpless Ehd Wyrd. I can swim, and I can fly, and I even attacked him with a water spout; you should have seen it!" He stared at me with his enormous green eyes.

"Zhar is gone now, do you want to go back to the caves?"

"The last thing I want to do is go back to the caves!" I sat down on a tree root and sulked. His tail twitched through the undergrowth as he waited.

"What do you want, Be'lah?"

"I want you to stop pretending you care! I want you to stop watching over me like I'm a baby!"

"Climb up, Be'lah, I do not wish to stay here."

"What if I want to stay here? You can go without me; I can find my way back."

"I am sure you can. But are you aware there are an inordinate number of poisonous plants around us? That log at your feet is full of rot worms. And at dusk there are a number of predatory animals that will be active nearby. Can we go?" I scrambled up onto his back, and he soared into the sky.

Even though I could fly on my own, it was still exhilarating the way he mastered the sky. For me flying was practical, for him it was poetry. I held on tight, as he flew in a twisting pattern, then glided gently on invisible currents of air.

When he landed again, we were in the familiar meadow. Now that I had seen the inspiration for the place, I could tell what was missing. Still, it was lovely and restful, and safe. I sat on a boulder and watched the late day sun turning everything deep, rich, shades of green. I expected Ehd Wyrd would want to hunt, but instead he stayed.

"Why were you crying?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me. Why don't you want to talk to me now, Be'lah?"

"You've made it perfectly clear how you feel. All I wanted was the answer to a simple question, and instead you decided to boss me around, like I was your servant! I understand now. I won't burden you with my questions, or my presence. You don't have to watch over me; I can take care of myself. In less than a month this whole mess will be over, and you can go back to your life, and forget I ever existed." Stupid tears! You'd think being a water elf, I'd have some control over that.

"Come here and listen to my thoughts."

"I can understand you fine now."

"Come here. What I have to say, I want you to hear from a man, not a dragon." I climbed up to my perch, where I could touch the crown. I felt silly, but I held on the the circlet.

I heard his voice inside my head. "The items in the trunk were very important, and hard to come by. Metal rusts very quickly when exposed to sea water. I felt we might need those things, if the curse is broken, and we are no longer powerful dragons able to protect you. I would not want to face our enemies unarmed. I did not mean to treat you like a servant. I did not understand how great was your need to talk, nor how much value you placed on your question."

"That's not true. You knew how much I wanted to talk, and you knew how much I wanted the answer. You were avoiding me, and brushing me off. You could have called your mother without even leaving your chamber; she knows your language, and your voice carries. You wanted to get rid of me, and avoid the subject." I could hear the wordless confirmation in my mind.

He exhaled loudly. "I am sorry. Your question caught me off guard. I didn't know how to answer you, and I was afraid a poorly phrased answer would be worse than no answer at all. I can only assume you have heard a little bit of what I have told my brother. He never was very good at keeping secrets. It has been so long since I've had to be concerned with secrets, I forgot. Ask me your question again."

After all the drama, I was almost afraid to ask. "How do you feel about me?" The question sounded weak in the late day shadows of the meadow.

"What I told my brother, is that I was more anxious than I've ever been to be done with this curse. I told him that I've never felt overly bothered by this form before. As a human, I was the youngest in the family, and everyone was stronger than I was. As a dragon, I didn't need to worry about my age. I didn't need to worry about the intrigues of a royal court. I didn't need to worry about the tediousness of always being dressed and presentable, or minding my manners, or learning every title and connection of visiting dignitaries.

"As a dragon, there have been some great advantages. I love flying. I am the fiercest predator, and there is nothing that can evade me in a hunt. I'm impervious to all kinds of weather, and not much outside of another dragon, can hurt me.

"For so long, the things I've missed have been mostly inconsequential. I miss the honey cakes the kitchen cook used to make. I miss being able to sleep in a warm, cozy bed. I miss sword practice, and I miss riding my horse, Thunder.

"But Thunder died decades ago. So did the castle cook. Most of my human life, I only remember dimly. No matter how much I miss being human, I've always known it will be different after all this time, when the curse is broken. I'd become resigned to the idea that I may be like this forever.

"But I am no longer content to stay this way. For the first time since I was changed, I now have a real reason to want to be human again. I would want to court you, Be'lah." Hearing his words directly from his mind, shocked me enough I let go of the crown. I heard his soft dragon chuckle. I gingerly touched it again, renewing our connection.

"I know the thought must horrify you. What could a monster possibly know about courtship?"

"You're not a monster, and you don't horrify me. In fact, it scares me more to know you're a man and not a dragon."

"Why?" I was glad he couldn't read my mind.

"I have never been courted. There was one boy at the school where I learned magic, who was fond of me. But J'kub was young, and I had to leave before he worked up the courage to declare any kind of intention. No one else ever even looked at me like that."

"You must have been surrounded by fools. You are lovely, Be'lah."

"Ehd Wyrd!" I felt a breathless tingling at his words, like I'd held my breath underwater for too long.

"It is not only your beauty that draws me. I have seen many beautiful girls when I was at court. They would try to gain my notice. They wanted to gain the attention of a prince. But you would outshine them all. You're kind, and selfless. You have a fearless spirit of adventure. You're funny, and..." I took my hand off the crown; his thoughts were tearing me apart.

"Ehd Wyrd, I can't..." I dashed the sudden tears from my eyes.

"I knew it was too much to ask, that you feel anything but revulsion for a monster. I apologize." Even in his draconic voice I could hear the dejection in his words.

"That's not it, Ehd Wyrd! It's not because of your curse, it's because of mine." I couldn't hold back the tears, and my voice shook as I explained. "I can't have... courtship. I don't get to have love and companionship. I'm never going to be a wife and mother. I can't be like other girls. I'm not going to live through this. I know I'm going to die. I feel it with every breath I take. Every time I close my eyes I see it. No matter how hard I train, or how much we prepare, I know nothing has changed. The curse may be broken, but my life is forfeit either way."

"NO!" His shouted roar reverberated through the trees. A flock of startled birds took to the sky. "You are not going to die; I'm going to protect you!" I took hold of the crown again, and felt the chaos of all his thoughts.

"You can't protect me." I had never felt such aching sadness over the thought of my own death. Knowing it would hurt him made me wish more than ever that I was wrong. "In less than a month, I am going to be dead. The curse will be broken, and you'll have to forget me."

"Impossible! I could never forget you. Be'lah, I..."

"Don't say it!"

"I love you."

I couldn't say anything for a long time. All I could think about was talking to M, and his explanation that dragons only choose one mate, and it was for life – even if one died.

"I hope your heart is still human." It was only a whisper, but I knew he heard me. "If not, you have a greater curse than being changed." Just thinking about him being alone for the rest of his life, made me ache for him. "Change your mind – please."

"No. I love you. I know I can't offer you anything now. But after this curse is broken... we can be together."

"You're not listening to me! I'm going to die. I've seen it in my nightmares thousands of times. We won't be together, because I'll be dead!"

"Then I'll be dead too. If I have to die to protect you, then I will. You are my breath..."

"Shut up! This isn't a bard's tale of romance! We're going to war. I'm going to die And you are going to be a prince, with a long life ahead of you. You can't love me, and you can't die for me!" He roared at my words, and the toss of his head almost dislodged me.

"Why must you be such an exasperating, stubborn, woman! If you can insist you are going to die, then I can insist I love you. I won't change my mind, because I cannot. If you are right, then I will be in love with a corpse, and I will lament my failure, and mourn your loss for the rest of my life, however long.

"But if you are wrong, then I will protect you, and save you, and court you. What would your answer be to such a courtship? Would you accept my love?" I could feel all of his uncertainty and worry. He didn't think I could feel anything for him. I knew I should stop this, and try to keep him from committing to me. But I could hear some of his thoughts, in bits and fragments, and I realized he was already very much attached to me.

"Ehd Wyrd... I'm afraid to even dream. All I have are nightmares." I climbed down from the crown and stood on the ground, looking up at his lizard-like face. He could swallow me whole if he chose. He could tear me apart with his claws. He could simply fall on me and crush me. He was a monster. But his green eyes were expressive, and I knew he would never hurt me. He was a man.

"Tell me what you would dream, Be'lah. Start with the morning after we win the war, and you're alive." He crouched down and rested his head on the ground. I stood beside him, and ran my hands over the scaly skin of his face. It was surprisingly supple, like the links of the finest chain mail or jewelry.

"I would dream that the curse is broken." I patted his cheek. "I would dream of all the leeches being destroyed. M's brother would awaken from his madness, and they could fly away together. I would dream that all the people of the island and the mainland, are safe. I would dream of your father and mother being able to hug one another. I would dream of Alyss and J'spurr being a couple."

"What of me? Would I be in your dreams?" I pressed my face against his cheek.

"You would be in my dreams. If I lived, and the curse was broken, I would want to see you, more than anything else. I would want to know if you saw me the same way, with human eyes." I petted his cheek, feeling the scales moving beneath my fingers. "I would want to know if you really loved me."

"And if I did...?"

"It would make me very happy." I looked up at his eye. "I'm mostly human now, and can spend all the time I want with Alyss, Rose, May, and even my grandmother, but you're the one I love to talk to. You're the one I want to spend time with. You're the one I run to when I'm upset. You're the one who listens. You know me better than anyone but my mother. You watch out for me, and you've saved my life. If you can be all that as a dragon, I can't imagine as a man you could be less."

"Do you think you would want to be with me?"

"I want to be with you now. I don't care if you're a dragon or a man. If the curse was broken, I would still want to be with you. It's Ehd Wyrd I love."

He snorted and his head popped up. He looked down at me with his unblinking stare, and I could tell I'd surprised him.

"Wha... do you really mean it?" I couldn't imagine a dragon looking so shocked and overwhelmed.

"I mean it. It would be kinder if I ignored how I feel. I should make you hate me, but I'm selfish. I want to be loved, even if it's only for a little while. Yes, I love you, Ehd Wyrd."

One second I was looking at his astonished eyes, then he was gone. He sprang into the air so fast I thought we were under attack at first. Then I watched him flip, twirl, and spin. I'd never imagined a dragon could be so flexible and acrobatic. When he finally landed again, I was laughing. He'd thoroughly distracted me from any worries, by his joyful display.

"I love you." The draconic phrase sounded lyrical to my ears.

"I love you too."