Chapter Ten
All the runners and their cheering squads gathered in Rock Creek Park at eight am on a bright Saturday morning. At eight thirty, Harriet shot the starting gun and seven of JAG's finest took off.
As the hours and the miles passed, the field strung out and, with the exception of Bud, the same group of runners were in the lead. Sturgis and Harm pulled away from Mac, who was beginning to run out of steam.
Aaron and Tabitha, along with four-month-old Sam, cheered her on. But just as she began to pour on the power, Harm collapsed in front of her. She screamed his name in panic and raced over to his still form.
"Harm," she called out to him.
He groaned in response. "Hhhurts..." Mac's scream had alerted everyone to the emergency and a group of spectators circled them, including Aaron, who frowned at Mac's reaction. "Someone call 9-1-1," she yelled.
Harriet zoomed over in the golf cart she had procured for the event. She hopped off the cart with a first aid kit. "Colonel, what's wrong with the commander?" she asked urgently.
"I'm not sure, Harriet, but I don't think a first aid kit will help." Mac leaned in and spoke softly to Harm, brushing her hand gently across his forehead. Finally, a siren was heard in the distance and moments later a pair of EMTs came racing over with a stretcher.
Mac watched through blurry eyes when Harm was wheeled away. Aaron stood next to her, alarmed by the intensity of her fear for Harm. He paid Tabitha to keep Sam for the rest of the day and drove Mac to the hospital to wait for news of Harm.
The trip to the hospital was short. Mac was preoccupied with Harm's unknown condition and was oblivious to Aaron's resentment.
Although Aaron already knew about Mac's feelings toward her longtime friend and partner, actually seeing them in action was altogether something different. For the first time, Aaron began to doubt his certainty that he and Mac were meant to be together.
The majority of JAG personnel from Rock Creek Park had ended up at the hospital. Sturgis had been awarded first prize once again even though no one officially crossed the finish line.
The admiral, Bud, and Harriet sat quietly waiting for word. Mac and Petty Officer Coates paced the waiting room, and Aaron stood staring out the window. He prayed earnestly for the doctors and for Harm. He knew Abigail was working today and hoped she'd been available for Harm's case. He also knew that Harm would be okay.
What he didn't know was whether or not he and Sarah would be okay. He tried confessing his anger and his jealousy to God, but Sarah's continued pacing and worry wouldn't allow him to give it up so easily.
"Sarah," he said abruptly, startling everyone. "I'm going to get some fresh air."
"All right," she said, barely glancing in his direction.
Aaron shook his head and left the waiting room.
The admiral shook his head as well. "Colonel?"
She stopped pacing and turned to her CO. "Sir?"
"Perhaps you ought to follow your friend," he suggested. "Someone will come get you if we hear anything."
"Oh, I'm sure he's fine, Admiral," she said. "He just needed some air."
Admiral Chegwidden frowned. For such an intelligent woman, she could be incredibly dense sometimes. But it wasn't his place to interfere. Either it would work out or it wouldn't.
Petty Officer Coates, not having been at JAG during the last Harm-centered crisis, didn't realize the full importance of the admiral's suggestion. But she did realize that the colonel was probably making a mistake in not going after Aaron. As she passed Mac, she spoke quietly, "Can I speak with you, ma'am?"
"What?" asked Mac, agitated. "Now?"
"Yes, Ma'am," Coates insisted and stepped into the hallway. Mac followed. "You should really go after Mr. Vawter, Ma'am. He looked pretty upset."
"Excuse me, Petty Officer," Mac said, now a little perturbed at Coates audacity.
Coates held up her hands. "I know it's really none of my business, Ma'am, but he really did look angry. And I've gotten to know the admiral well enough to know that he usually doesn't interfere unless it's important."
Mac looked a little confused.
"His suggestion that you follow your friend outside," Coates said. "He knows something I don't, Ma'am." She took her leave, leaving Mac to try and figure it out.
Mic. Mac gasped quietly as she realized what the admiral must have been remembering: her emotional reaction to Harm being lost in the Atlantic on the eve of her and Mic's wedding. A wedding and an engagement that ended up being called off altogether because of those emotions.
Mac went in search of Aaron and found him in the hospital courtyard, pulling the petals off a daisy one by one.
He loves me, he loves me not, she thought to herself. "Hey," she called out softly instead. "What's going on? Are you all right?"
Aaron stood as she approached. "No, I don't think I am, Sarah. For the first time, I'm questioning the wisdom of getting married."
Mac's hands went cold and her stomach dropped. "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.
"I'm talking about how you totally freaked out when Harm collapsed."
"He's my best friend and my partner," she argued. "What did you expect?"
Aaron shook his head. "I don't know, Sarah. Honestly...I don't think you're completely over him."
Mac gasped softly. "Aaron, I--"
"Ma'am, Sir?" called Petty Officer Coates tentatively from the door. They both looked over at her. "Commander Rabb is out of surgery."
Mac nodded and thanked her. "We'll be right there."
Coates nodded in return and disappeared back inside.
"Come on, Sarah, let's go make sure he's okay," Aaron said, moving toward the door.
"Aaron, wait. Don't you want to talk this out?"
"Not right now, okay? Harm's well-being is more important right now, don't you think?"
"I'm sure Harm is fine. Coates would have said som--"
"Sarah, this isn't exactly the best place to have that kind of conversation," he said, looking around.
Mac looked around, too, and blushed, not having realized how many others were out there. Others who had probably overheard their whole conversation. She nodded and followed him back inside and up to the second floor waiting room.
Aaron took a seat near the windows and Mac sat next to the admiral. Bud and Harriet exchanged a concerned glance.
"How are you feeling, Commander?" Abigail asked, checking Harm's pulse.
Harm blinked against the light and turned toward the voice. "Where...?" he asked in a raspy voice.
"You're at Columbia Hospital. Do you remember what happened?"
"Pain," he said. "Fell."
"Your appendix burst during the JAG A Thon. You were brought here for an emergency appendectomy." Abigail placed a gentle hand on his arm. "How are you feeling?" she asked again.
Harm finally opened his eyes and focused on Abigail. "It hurts."
She nodded. "Okay. The anesthesia is wearing off. I'll get the doctor and he'll be able to get you some meds. Then I'm going to let all your friends know that you're okay."
Harm nodded.
Abigail approached the motley group assembled in the OR waiting room. Aaron stood when he saw her coming, alerting the others. Mac and Admiral Chegwidden rose as well.
"How is he?" Mac asked.
"He's finally awake. All his vitals are good, but he's in a lot of pain right now. Dr. McSwain is with him now. He'll probably give him some pain meds and then he'll probably be out for awhile. He won't be allowed visitors tonight."
Mac's shoulders drooped, but she nodded. "Abigail, tell him I'm praying for him, would you?"
"Of course, I will, Sarah. Now, go home and get some rest."
"Take good care of him, Abby," Mac said softly.
"You know I will."
"Come on, Sarah, I'll take you home," Aaron offered, taking her arm.
"I need to get Sam," she said.
The drive to the sitter's house was quiet. Mac's mind was on Harm. Aaron's mind was on Mac's reaction to Harm's collapse and subsequent surgery.
She completely freaked out--especially over someone who was just her partner and her friend. And their friendship was still strained as far as Aaron knew.
They were more than friends.
But that was six months ago.
Well, maybe she's not as over him as she says.
Aaron shook his head to clear the voices as he pulled into the sitter's driveway.
"What?" asked Mac, noticing the gesture.
"Nothing," he denied.
"Are you sure?" she asked, realizing something was really bothering him.
"Go get Sam," he said, not looking at her. "We'll talk later."
She exited the car and was back a few minutes later with Sam in her arms and the diaper bag slung over her shoulder. She buckled a sleepy Sam into his car seat and they were on their way.
The trip to Mac's apartment was silent until Aaron parked the car. "I'll carry him up in the car seat." Aaron's tone was distant.
Mac merely nodded and grabbed the diaper bag and her keys and led the way upstairs.
Aaron set the car seat down gently in a shadowed corner of the living room and headed back toward the door.
"Aaron, wait..."
He stopped and turned to look at her.
"Something's bothering you," she said, moving toward him. "Let's talk about it." She pouted slightly, deliberately. She saw his eyes flicker to her lips.
"I don't want to talk about it right now, Sarah," he said tersely.
Needing a little comfort after the tension of the day, Mac set out to get it the wrong way. It had always been so easy to smooth Mic over by simply appealing to his baser instincts.
She placed her hand on Aaron's chest and stepped closer. "Aaron, please..." she said softly. "Don't be mad at me." She looked up at him with wide eyes.
In an instant, he crushed her to him, plundering her mouth. The sparks of need shot through her. It had been a very long time, after all. She tried to slide her arm up and around his neck.
"No!" He set her firmly away from him.
Mac blinked when he pushed her away. The emotion in his eyes warred between anger and desire. The anger won.
"Don't use sex as a weapon. It's unbecoming," he said flatly and walked out.
Mac felt as if she'd been slapped. She put her fingertips against her lips, remembering the exquisite feel of his mouth on hers. What just happened here?
Mortification flooded through her as realization struck. She had just practically propositioned him. Oh, God, what have I done? How am I going to face him tomorrow? Please forgive me, God. Please let Aaron forgive me.
~*~
"Hello, Commander." Abigail entered Harm's hospital room again. "Feeling any better?"
"Much." Harm nodded groggily.
"I see that you've been given some Demerol," she said, checking his chart.
"Good schtuff..."
"Commander--"
"Hharmm..."
"All right. Harm. Your friends and co-workers wanted me to tell you they were here. Sarah said she'll be praying for you."
"Sharahh?" His brows furrowed slightly.
"Your friend," Abigail explained, "Colonel MacKenzie."
"Oh." He nodded. "Mac." His eyes drooped heavily. "Wouldn't marry me...loves a priest."
"I don't think that's why she wouldn't marry you, Harm."
"How you know?" Harm asked, trying to focus on Abigail's face.
"Because Sarah and I are friends, and that priest is my brother."
"Why then?"
"Are you saved, Harm?" Abigail asked.
"Sure. I've been saved lots..."
Abigail shook her head. "That's not what I meant, but I'll interpret it to mean no."
"'Kay..." Harm's eyed finally closed and his breathing evened out.
"We'll talk tomorrow," Abigail said, patting his arm.
"Kay..." Harm said again in a whisper.
~*~
Aaron berated himself for his lack of self-control all the way home. Then he groaned, remembering the feel of her supple and willing body in his arms. He'd been tempted for so long. And up until tonight she'd never done anything on purpose to entice him.
He'd never seen that look on her face before. It was one of need. She was practically begging him to...
To what?
Bed her? That would never happen before the marriage. He had more self-control than that, didn't he? Or did he? And surely she wouldn't ask it of him. Would she? He'd lost control so easily. All she'd had to do was purse those luscious lips and he'd snapped.
Had she only wanted a kiss? Well, she'd gotten one. And what a doozy it was. At least, for him. He hoped she was satisfied. Especially after he'd just explained that he wanted to wait until they were man and wife for their first kiss. And if she couldn't respect a simple thing like that, how was she going to deal with everything else?
Aaron stewed about it all the way home, ignoring the still, small voice in the back of his mind.
~*~
"Good morning, Mr. Rabb," said a pleasant voice, pulling Harm from the last tendrils of sleep. "Your breakfast is here."
Harm opened his eyes. "Who are you?"
The short, redheaded dynamo said, "I'm Patty."
"Where's the nurse from last night?"
"Abigail?" she supplied and began taking his vital signs.
He nodded.
"She went home. But she'll be back tonight at seven. Did you need something?"
Harm shook his head. "We were supposed to talk about something."
"Well, as I said, she'll be back tonight. How's the pain?"
"Tolerable." He grimaced as shifted in the bed. "For now."
"Don't be a hero, okay? If it gets any worse, just call. I'll be happy to administer a dose." She patted her hip and winked a twinkling brown eye at him. Then she scooted the rolling table over his lap and admonished him to eat.
He smiled after her disappearing figure.
~*~
Aaron lay in bed waiting for the alarm to sound. As he waited, the still, small voice finally made itself heard. He slid from under the covers and knelt beside his bed.
I know, Lord. Forgive me my lack of self-control. I was so sure she was the one, Father.
Aaron...
I just don't know. Her feelings for Harm are so strong. I don't know if I can compete. Not only that, but her behavior last night was...
Aaron...
...was just so, so...shocking. Father, please help me to understand. In Jesus' name I pray.
Sigh...
Aaron made his bed and headed for the shower, debating as to what he should say to Sarah when he saw her. Aaron spotted her in the congregation, but she didn't seek him out to apologize before she left.
~*~
Church had been over and done with for an hour. The congregation had long since gone, as had the Sunday school teachers and nursery workers.
Aaron sat in his office and contemplated the events of the last couple of days. He was having a difficult time fitting the pieces together in his mind.
Martin Rigby stuck his head in Aaron's office to say good-bye. "The church is all settled for the day, Pastor. Real nice sermon."
"Thanks, Martin," Aaron replied half-heartedly. "Say, Martin? You got a few minutes?"
"Sure thing, Aaron," Martin said. He came in and took a seat. "What's on your mind?"
"It's Sarah."
Martin nodded for the younger man to continue. It was obviously a serious situation since Aaron lacked the usual smile that accompanied any mention of his sweetheart.
"She's not the woman I thought she was."
"Well, now," said Martin, quietly. "Why do you say that?"
"She threw herself at me the other night, Martin," Aaron explained. "I had just dropped her and Sam off and she just, just looked at me that way. And she was touching me. And I lost control, Martin."
"What'd you do, Aaron?" the older man asked, with just a tiny hint of worry.
Aaron hung his head a bit. "Well, I grabbed her and kissed her, of course. Thoroughly, too. Passionately," he admitted, slightly appalled at himself.
"Oh, is that all?" Relief tinged Martin's voice.
Aaron looked up at Martin with large eyes. "What do you mean is that all? She practically dragged me off to her bedroom. And she knows how I feel about pre-marital anything."
"Did she, now?" Martin asked, contemplating, his voice holding a hint of disbelief and a tint of amusement. "Wasn't that the day you all spent over at the hospital?"
"Yes," Aaron said, but shook his head, wondering what that had to do with anything.
"Wasn't that fellow her close friend?"
"Yes." Anger coursed through him as he remembered Sarah's overreaction to Harm's collapse.
"And she was worried about him?"
"Yes."
"I see."
"What do you see?"
"Well, I think you're making a mountain out of a mole--"
"But sh-she..."
Martin held up his hand to stay Aaron's indignation. "Pastor, you're a smart man and a fair man, but right now you're judgment is being colored by your emotions. And despite the fact that you are a man after God's own heart, you are only human."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Aaron asked.
"Look, all I'm going to say is this: stones and glass houses and logs and splinters." Martin slapped his hands on his thighs and rose. "You take care, Pastor. I'll see you tomorrow. And don't let the green-eyed monster get the better of you."
Aaron shook his head as the older man left. He who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. But logs and splinters? Oh, yes, Matthew 7, verse 3. He grabbed his Bible and opened it to the verse in question.
Beginning with verse 1, he read, 'Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.'
Where did the green-eyed monster fit into all of this? He certainly wasn't jealous of Harm. Was he? Aaron closed the Bible and grabbed his keys. It was time to go home and then to fellowship group.
~*~
"Aaron, it's only two o'clock. What are you doing here?" Abigail was surprised to see her brother.
"I know. I'm sorry. I need to talk to you," he explained, running a hand through his hair as stepped into her living room.
"What's going on, Aaron?" she asked, concerned. She hadn't seen him like this in a very long time.
"It's Sarah. We've had a, a, a... I don't know what we had, but it's not good." He sat on the couch, while she perched on the armchair.
"Tell me what happened," she invited.
Aaron explained what had transpired the day before. "I talked to Martin about it earlier," he added. "He thinks I'm jealous of Harm."
Abigail contemplated Aaron's tale for a few moments. "No, you're not jealous of Harm per se, but you are jealous of Sarah's strong feelings for him. You think that because she's in love with you, now, her feelings for Harm should just be turned off like the faucet. It doesn't work that way.
"In time her feelings will mellow out, but they will remain strong. Harm has been her anchor and her rock for a very long time. You can't just expect her not to react or overreact when something happens regarding him."
"I can't believe this," Aaron replied. "My own sister turning against me." But he wasn't really upset. He knew she was the voice of reason for him right now. Martin had been right about one thing. He was reacting emotionally rather than logically. "I don't think she's going to come this afternoon."
Abigail shook her head. "No. She called a little while ago and said she wasn't going to make it. She's going to visit Harm."
Aaron's mouth settled into a grim line.