DISCLAIMER: This wonderful group of characters are not mine… never have been, never will be… which saddens me…
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there. I had planned to have this up sooner but I will be honest… I kept falling asleep. I just kept trying until here we are… Once I hit "post", I'm letting my head hit the pillow. I hope you enjoy!
They watched as Callen stalked out followed shortly after by Gibbs.
"Wonder what that was about," Sam stated.
"Maybe she told him he couldn't transfer Marty." Kensi reasoned hopefully.
"Yeah, I kinda doubt that, Kensi", Sam chuckled as she sunk back into her seat.
It was then Deeks entered the bullpen. "So Deeks, how'd it go with Callen?
Sam asked with a grin.
Kensi jumped out of her seat, "Is he removing you from the team" she asked anxiously.
"What? No! I mean he brought the possibility up, but no. He just pointed out that I need to trust your training in the field and the team as a whole to keep you safe. He said I needed to trust him as team lead and your mentor and if I can't… I need to be asking for a transfer." He explained.
"So that's the decision Hetty mentioned?" Kensi asked, "Well, that's an easy decision. He's right, you need to trust me. You need to trust Sam… and Callen. Despite what either of you may think, Callen was a great mentor. I learned a lot from him. Between him and my dad… I know what I'm doing out there."
"She's right, man. Kensi can kick butt with the best of them. She's level headed when things get hot. She trusts us all to be there if things go wrong. You need to do that too. We've got her covered. Now, are we going for pizza or what?" Sam said as he grabbed his stuff up and headed for the door.
"Thanks Sam" Kensi called after him, "Give us a sec and we will be right out." She turned back to her husband who stood silently looking out across the courtyard.
"You okay, Marty?" she asked quietly.
"Uh, yeah… no, I'm fine. Kensi… Callen said something and well," he started as his eyes found and locked on hers.
"What. What did he say?" Kensi asked concerned.
"He said that you'd come to resent me one day for not trusting your training… for trying to keep you safe."
"oh", was all she said.
Deeks studied her, "Is he right?"
Kensi regarded him for a moment before responding, "I know you want to keep me safe and I love you for it… I do! But I trained hard for this job. Callen busted my butt in training to make sure I would be safe out there. He spent a lot of time teaching me everything I needed in order to do this job. He was hard on me, Marty, because he wanted to keep me safe even if he wasn't there… especially when he wasn't around. I love you for it, but you can't do it like this… like today. You need to trust me, as an agent. You need to trust our team and trust our training. It's not just you and me out there. There's Callen and Sam. We need to have each other's back. You can't do that if your head isn't in the game because you're worrying about me. Callen is right, if you can't do that then maybe we do need to be on different teams… because this is who I am Deeks. I am not giving it up." Kensi gave him a kiss, "I'll meet you at the car."
Deeks sat and thought over all that had happened to Kensi over the years. It amazed him how she kept going. Could he continue to go into the field and watch her be put in harm's way and stand by in hopes that Callen and Sam would keep her safe? Could he bear to let her into the field and NOT be there. He thought back to the mission that broke the team up. Callen risked his own safety in order to make sure Deeks lived. It didn't go according to plan, no… but Callen still made certain that help was there to make sure he went home to Kensi… He knew what his answer should be… still, it was going to be a very long weekend.
NCIS LA === NCIS LA === NCIS LA === NCIS LA === NCIS LA === NCIS LA === NCIS LA
Callen was at his desk come Monday morning, working on reports as the others filed in. He hated reports as much now as he ever did but it was a distraction, at least, from the awkward silence that filled the space each morning.
Callen had spent the entire weekend in search of Joelle to no avail. Every lead was a dead end.
Sam watched him for a few minutes over the top of his own computer.
"So, did you have a good weekend, Callen?" Kensi asked in an effort to gauge his mood.
Barely pausing to answer, "Guess that would depend on your definition of good."
Kensi cast a glance across to Deeks and Sam, "Well, did you go anywhere, do anything?" she attempted again.
Once again, Callen didn't stop as he answered. "Low expectations but by those parameters… then yes, it was a good weekend."
Sam rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. "So, that's how we're doing this?"
"Doing what, precisely?" Callen asked finally looking up from his work.
"You storm out of here Friday, followed by an equally pissed off Gibbs and Hetty left looking like she'd been punched in the gut.
Callen leaned back and mimicked Sam's stance, "Oh, I've no doubt you want to know… however, you will just have to be disappointed since it was none of your business."
"None of our… just how do you come to that conclusion? We are a team… what affects you and Hetty affects us all." Sam growled.
Bypassing the subject at hand, Callen switched tactics, "Since you are so interested in team business. Let's chat. Deeks, I believe you were to have an answer for me today."
Kensi turned her attention toward her husband who returned her gaze as he cleared his throat.
"We can take this elsewhere if you prefer", Callen offered sincerely. He knew Deeks preferred not to deal with him alone. He never did and Callen never truly understood why. He still remembered how Deeks was the one who faced off with him when he had first found out about Joelle's connection with the CIA… To be fair, Deeks had earned his respect that night. He was not in a good way and well, he was sawing furniture into little pieces and burning it… while drinking. That could have gone very bad… Deeks never backed down. That wasn't the only time he dared to step up to him. It's one of the reason's he didn't try harder to replace him. He never knew quite what to expect from him but he always rose to the challenge. That was why he was certain this time would be no different.
Deeks turned to face Callen, his expression serious, "No, this is fine. We're a team and this involves all of us."
"Alright then… before we left here on Friday, I gave you an ultimatum… either stay and trust your partner's training and ability and believe your team has her back as well as your own OR you head on over to Hetty's desk and ask for a transfer… effective immediately. So, which is it?"
"You keep calling her my partner, but she's more than that, Callen. She is my WIFE."
Callen regarded him thoughtfully. He understood his struggle which made the decision going forward all the more necessary.
"Deeks, she may very well be your wife… but here? Out there in the field? She is an agent first. You have been here long enough, you should have learned that by now. There is a reason for the rule that does not permit agents in a relationship to work together. It's a good one in my opinion but since Hetty seems to pick and choose the rules she follows and because you seemed capable of keeping your personal lives separate, I didn't argue. However, it has become more and more of an issue until now, here we are…" Callen stopped a moment and looked to Kensi then back to locking eyes with Deeks, "Look Deeks, Kensi's father taught her well. She is one of the best sharp shooters out there. She is excellent with hand to hand combat. She is good at what she does or she would never have been on this team. You need to believe in her. When you go out into the field on a case you need… you HAVE to put all things personal aside… including the fact that she is your wife. From the moment you come through those doors and until you walk back out to go home, she is your partner."
Callen caught the look on Sam's face before he finished.
"And while Sam is itching to come to your defense as your friend… as an agent, he knows I'm right. Michelle would never have allowed Sam to do what you did. In fact, I dare say she would have knocked him on his butt for even trying. She was a great agent and plenty capable of handling things herself." Callen stopped a moment to collect his thoughts and push down the surge of emotion that seemed to surface any time his thoughts went to Michelle. She had been an excellent agent and could protect herself… until she couldn't… he'd let her down, let Sam down and that would be something that haunted him the rest of his life… but not in the field… he would never allow himself to be found distracted in the field and cause anyone else to be harmed on his watch, "So Deek's which will it be? Stay or go?" Callen sat back and waited.
"Not everyone has your flair for shutting things out and ignoring their feelings." Sam quipped.
Callen smirked but grew serious. It was important that Deeks understood… if he wanted to go home with his wife each evening, he needed to separate the personal from the professional, "Perhaps, but I would be dead a dozen times over if I didn't."
Deeks kept his gaze on Callen, "You gave me a similar ultimatum once before… all in or get out. I didn't quit then and I'm not quitting now. You're right… and while I can't just forget she is my wife when we're out there… I believe in this team and there is no one I trust more to have her back. I'm staying, Callen." Deeks stare bore into Callen in an effort to prove his resolve.
The space fell quiet and after a tense few moments the corner of Callen's mouth twitched into a half smirk as he gave a short nod of approval, "Last warning, Deeks."
"I know… we're good" Deeks confirmed.
Callen turned to look at Kensi, "We good here?" he asked.
Kensi smiled. Callen had given her a warning too. She knew he was right. She should never have gone above his head to, of all people, Hetty… Now here he sat telling them all that Kensi was one of the best sharp shooters among other compliments. Compliments that Callen rarely offered. "Yeah, we're good."
Again, Callen nodded before turning back to his computer.
To be honest, he was glad to be done with the whole conversation. Deeks was a good man and he and Kensi made a good team both in and out of the field. They were good for one another… an almost perfect balance. He was just glad Deeks stood firm. She would have hated him for it if things had gone any other way and he may have lost her too. Callen had missed Kensi. Her smile lit up her whole face. He appreciated the fact that she could take down a bad guy and look so good doing it. She didn't need to primp to look beautiful. Callen also admired her for all she had overcome to become the woman she was today. Another time, another place he would have given Deeks a run for his money but truthfully, Kensi was better off with Deeks than she ever would have been with him. Then there was Anna. She was a lot like Kensi… maybe too much… they could never survive working on the same team for long. That was more than obvious when Kensi had been recovering from being in the coma. For the same reason… she was better off with someone else… anyone other than him. Ziva was the closest he came to someone he would feel even remotely comfortable attempting a relationship with. Even that was doomed to fail once she realized she loved Tony more. Like Deeks and Kensi… Tony and Ziva were a good balance. They worked. Truth was, Callen and Ziva were just too much alike to have lasted.
He let out a sigh and ran a hand over his face as he leaned back. His life wasn't where he had hoped it to be and it frustrated him. He knew he would always have enemies but he had hoped once they had taken down the last of the Comescus he would finally be able to live his life.
Sometimes he downright hated Hetty for allowing him to believe it could be any other way but what it was. He would never admit it to another soul but he longed for what Kensi and Deeks had together… for what Sam and Michelle had once shared.
"G… G!" Sam called out.
Pulling himself from his darkening thoughts, Callen looked over at his partner.
"Everything okay?" Sam asked, concern in his voice. He had watched as Callen's mood darkened the more lost in his thoughts he became.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" he responded, shutting down his computer and closing it. "I'm going to go work out… let me know if we get a case."
"Hey, want some company? We could spar… or make it team training", Sam offered.
Callen stopped as he passed the desks and turned toward Sam, his eyes stormy… jaw set, "Not today, Sam. Besides, you, me and sparring probably isn't a good idea…" With that, he continued on to the gym where he spent the next hour taking his frustrations out on the punching bag and the wing chun dummy. Being back at OSP was messing with his head. It would be too easy to slip into the false notion that things could be what they once were… or rather what he'd thought things once were. The more he thought about it, the harder the punches and the faster the moves. Finally, he slowed to a halt.
"Feeling better?" Hetty asked.
"About what?" Callen mumbled wiping the sweat from his face.
"Whatever was driving you to pummel that poor defense dummy."
"Then no… but then no amount of hitting it would. It is what it is, Hetty." He remarked coldly.
"Ahh, well, if you need to talk…" she began.
"I don't." Callen answered then left Hetty alone as he headed for the showers.
Hetty re-entered the courtyard heading toward her office when the door alarm rang announcing an unsanctioned visitor. Eric and Nell appeared at the balcony, "Some people here… to see Callen… Do I let them in?"
"Did they give you a name?" Hetty asked.
"No, I asked… said it was none of my business." Eric complained.
"There's three of them… two men and one woman", Nell stated.
"Callen didn't give you a heads up?" Gibbs asked.
"Nope, none. What should we do?"
"Let them in." Hetty replied.
"Sam, Deeks, escort duty" Gibbs ordered. He didn't like it. Callen had been acting off more so than normal as of late and now this. Another enemy? Not something any of them needed.
Eric disappeared momentarily to unlock the door. Within moments, they were coming down the hall as Eric and Nell joined them in the bullpen.
"Nice building", the one man stated, appreciating the architecture of the old Spanish style mission.
"Thank you… Mr.?" Hetty inquired.
"Yeah, unwilling to divulge personal information. I'm here to see G. Callen", was all he offered with a sharp look toward his companions as a warning to stay quiet.
"Unless you can give us a little more information, we cannot in all good conscience allow you to stay." Hetty replied.
"Look, I don't know you, lady, but what I have to say is no one's business but Callen's. So, I guess we're at a stalemate", he said as Sam stood in front of him next to Hetty while Deeks and Kensi flanked their sides.