Chapter Ten

Penelope spent the rest of her shift fretting over what could have happened
between Derek and Tamara to put that guilty look into his eye. Every time her
mind went there she pushed out the thought that anything physical happened
between them. She just couldn't go there. After wanting to be with Derek
for so long now that they were she didn't want to believe he had touched
another woman in the way he only should take her.

That he would even want to. That all this time this Tamara thing was not about
being there for a victim's sister that reached out to him but about Tamara
being hot.

Penelope didn't want to believe that so she kept telling herself she was
crazy to think Derek was that shallow. He was her amazing man and he deserved
her trust.

Still there was no denying he was guilty over something. Her thoughts circled
around her head and made it difficult to finish her shift. When the day was
finally done she rubbed her head, let out a long sigh, and shut down her
babies. Since Derek couldn't leave work till he was done with his paperwork
Penelope went to their place to make dinner and tend to Clooney before her
chocolate God got there.

The slamming of the door told her when Derek came in. She nearly jumped out of
her skin because he caught her off guard. She left the kitchen and saw him
walking through the foyer towards the stairs, jerking off his tie as he did.
She tried to smile and move in to kiss him but he just avoided her eyes and
said "I'm going to jump in the shower before we eat."

"Okay, sure! Dinner is almost done."

Derek was already moving up the stairs when he said "Keep it warm, okay? I
need to take Clooney for a walk too. He could use the exercise."

Penelope watched him till he disappeared from her sight.

XXXXXX

Derek sat down on a bench at the park. For long minutes he got lost in his
thoughts. His mind was filled up with worried over what happened with Tamara
at the restaurant. He thought to himself I know that I love Penelope and
life I have made with her. But when Tamara kissed me I didn't push her away.
I just stood there and let it happen and I don't know why. I never expected
anything to come from talking with Tamara but she made me out to be some kind
of hero. Penelope's everything I want and even more. I love her more than I
ever loved anyone and it makes me feel good and safe to know I get to come
home to her love every night.

These thoughts were interrupted by his ringing phone. The screen read Tamara.

He answered "Derek."

"Hey, I'm glad you answered. I was wondering if we could get a drink
tonight? Maybe finish our conversation from earlier. It felt like we had more
to say but you had to get back to work."

"I have plans with my girlfriend tonight. We're about to sit down for
dinner."

"Are you sure you can't get away afterwards? I really need to see you
tonight. I need someone to talk to and you're the only one who really
understands the pain I'm in right now."

"Look, I feel for you. I know its rough to lose your brother this way but
what you're asking of me is way out of lines. I won't lie to my girlfriend
over anything, especially not over another woman. I'm not gonna lose the
best thing to ever happen to me. Its like you can't hear what I'm saying.
You need to hear me: I'm in love with my girl and I don't got a place in
my life for you. I'm sorry to be so cold about it."

"I get that you're with somebody. What we could have doesn't need to
affect that. I just want to see you. I need to see you, Derek, please!"

"I gotta go."

"Wait! Just let me say one more thing. You were so right when you said we
made a connection. I feel it in my soul. I don't know what it means but when
I'm away from you I feel empty and when you're near I feel complete. If
you change your mind come to my place later....I'll wait up for you."

Seeing that he was getting absolutely no where with reasoning with Tamara,
Derek hung up. She must be thick in her grief or half crazy to behave this
way. All he knew was it could mess up his whole life if he didn't get her to
back off.

He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. His mind went back to worrying
about how to tell Penelope that Tamara had kissed him. After a while Clooney
whined. Derek looked at his watch and realized he had been gone an hour.

He hurried home to find the table set with candles and soft music playing.
Searching through the house for Penelope he found her in the bathtub with her
eyes closed. Slowly he walked over to the tub and kneeled down.

"Baby girl."

Her eyes opened and started at him. In them he could see disappointment,
sadness, hurt and anger.

Since she didn't speak he said "Princess-"

She snapped at him "Your dinner got cold while you were walking Clooney."
The way she said the last two words made it clear she thought he was up to
something else.

"I lost track of time when we were at the park. I'm sorry that I kept you
waiting. It was inconsiderate and won't happen again."

"Just go eat, Derek. I want to finish my bath....alone."

He got up and left the room. Sitting at the table he tried to eat but the food
had no taste and sat in his stomach like a lead balloon. Penelope finally came
out of the bathroom and turned on the TV in the living room. Derek made his
way in there and sat next to her.

He told her, trying to speak as kindly as he could to get her to stop being
pissed at him, "Honey I'm sincerely sorry. Seriously, I am. If I knew you
had planned a candlelight dinner I would have never stayed gone so long."

Penelope continued to watch television as if she hadn't heard him.

He went on "Look at me please!"

She continued to ignore him so he grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

"Baby girl, talk to me. Say something! Don't just sit there and act like
I'm not even here."

Penelope turned to look in him in the eyes with the same look he saw when she
was in the bath.

"Derek, you've been weird every since you came back from your little date
with Tamara!"

"Whoa, it was not any kind of date, okay? There's something I gotta tell
you but its gonna only piss you off more, sweetheart, but you gotta hear it
anyway."

"Now you wanna talk? Now you have something to get off your chest? Maybe now
isn't good for me. Maybe you should call Tamara instead!"

"Listen baby girl, I don't need to talk to her. I need to talk to you.
You're the woman that matters to me. Always has and always will."

"I can't live this way. I never thought it would be like this when we
moved in together. I didn't think I would have to share you."

"Whoa, listen to me, you don't! I went and saw Tamara and I told her that
she doesn't fit in my life. I gave her the number to a grief counselor.
I'm done with trying to be there for her."

"And that is all that happened at lunch? You told her to go to counsoling
and she agreed to never contact you again? Or is there something you're
leaving out cause its easy to skim around the truth."

He had planned to tell her about the kiss but hearing her talk like that hurt
him and he spat at her "I thought you trusted me. Guess I was fooling
myself, huh?"

"I do trust you but-"

"If you did then you wouldn't be jumping to conclusions like I ran off to
cheat on you or something!"

"If you did nothing wrong you wouldn't be so defensive! Do you think I'm
an idiot? Do you think I'll put up with anything just to have you?"

He hissed out "I did nothing wrong. But you won't ever believe my side of
this because you've got your hard head made up already. I thought I was the
one with the trust issues!"

"I trust you with my life! I trusted you with my heart! But when it comes to
that woman I can't live on blind faith because it feels like your holding
stuff back on me."

"I'm doing my best to make this work."

"Then tell me everything you did with her. I want all the details. What went
down?"

"Whoa, you really believe I would cheat on you, don't you?"

"I want to trust you but you have to open up-"

"At this point you shouldn't have to force yourself to trust me. My word
should be good enough for you, Penelope. You don't trust me or what we have
at all."

"If that's what you wanna believe then believe it! I'm not begging you
to see how much trust I've given you. It should be obvious! Look at this
crap you've put me through over this woman. She's Ms. Barnes to me but
she's Tamara to you and that's just messed up, Derek. Don't turn this
around on me."

Their arguement turned into a screaming match where Derek dug in, stubbornly,
and refused to admit to the kiss, having feelings for Tamara, or all the phone
calls while he was out of town no matter how much Penelope badgered him.

Finally he ticked her off so much that she slapped him. Standing there, both
panting for breath, Derek told her "I'm done with this," grabbed his
key, phone, wallet and left.

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