Scared of lonely
I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand and I can't barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
Sure enough, the next morning as she drank her coffee in the kitchen, there on page six of the post was a picture of her and Sawyer standing in the park. The headline read the exact words she had said to the man as they had walked with Hudson. Wilhelmina Slater's Rebound Guy?The picture they had used hadn't helped matters. In the frame staring back at her, she had her head dipped and arms folded, smiling slightly as she kicked the stone for Hudson. The whole positioning of her body and smile on her face made her look coy, which was most definitely a look she did not wear, and flirtatious. Sawyer; for his part, was looking at her with a brilliant smile painted on his rugged face.
If she was looking at any other two people in the picture, she would have surmised the same as the rest of the world already had about her and her dog walker. It was flattering, and just the little boost she needed right about now, she was growing tired of reading about her 'devastation' and 'humiliation'.
After returning last night, Daniel had been so morose he hadn't even attempted to come near her. This wasn't what she wanted, she didn't want to wound him, she just wanted him gone. If facing the reality that she would eventually move on and be with someone else is what he needed to get the hint and leave her then so be it.
Just as she was reading a paragraph demonstrating how her estranged husband must be feeling, the estranged husband in question walked in the kitchen. Upon seeing him, she closed the paper hurriedly. She dimly wondered why she didn't leave it open in front of him, watch the pain cloud over his eyes and relish in his discomfort; hell, she didn't know why she didn't just do what the tabloids were suggesting and screw Sawyer right under Daniel's nose, but ultimately that wasn't her style.
Daniel opened the fridge and pulled out some juice, as he closed the door he looked over at her hands clasped on top of the now closed paper. "Don't bother, I've seen it."
She nodded slowly. "And?"
He looked at her, attempted to smile. He wanted to tell her he didn't care, wanted to mock her for people thinking she was slumming it with the help. He couldn't quite force the smile to his eyes though, and deflated. "What do you think?"
Wilhelmina ran her tongue over her bottom lip and looked down at the folded newspaper. "You know there's no truth in it."
"I know." He spoke softly.
"And I didn't leave the house with him to hurt you." She said, giving him some solace he didn't deserve.
"I know." He repeated.
She dragged her gaze up until she locked stares with him. "But I'm glad it does."
"Do it."
She screwed her face up, confused. "What?"
He walked closer but remained on the other side of the island. Placing his juice down and pressing his palms against the surface, leaning towards her. "Do it. Whatever you thinking, do it. Hurt me, hurt me like I hurt you so we can be even and put an end to it. Be even, move past it together."
She shook her head and laughed lightly, disbelieving. "It doesn't work like that Daniel. Anyway, I've done a lot of things in my life that I regret. Sleeping with someone while I'm in love with someone else is not one I care to add to the list."
He chose his next words carefully, treading on eggshells; aware that this somewhat civil atmosphere between them could instantly flip and return to the hostility he had been living in recently. "So you're still in love with me?" His voice barely reached a whisper.
"I already told you that."
"No you said love, not in love, it's an entirely different thing."
She closed her eyes. "Stop doing this Daniel. Stop trying, I can't keep pushing you back. I can't keep fighting. I can't keep having you looking at me like your world is ending."
"It is."
"And mine isn't?"
He swiftly moved past the question, not wanting to descend into another argument. "You know this is the longest conversation we've had in a long time, we're getting better."
He saw her hands flex on the newspaper before her and knew the small movement was her trying to keep her emotions in check. He hated seeing her crumble, but he had to if he ever wanted to be the one to put her back together. He walked around the island and put his hand on one of her wrists. For the first time in weeks, she didn't try and pull away from the initial touch, he pulled on it lightly and she turned on the spot to face him.
"I'm gonna ask you again Wilhelmina, one last time."
She twisted her neck and looked down to the floor at the side, not trusting herself to break under his watchful eye. His hand came up to her cheek and slowly brought her back to face him. "Willie, tell me what it takes. There must me something I can do, anything. Willie..."
When he heard her take a catching breath deep into her lungs, yet still not move away from him, he swallowed and tried to close the distance between them; slower and softer than when they had last been together. For the briefest of seconds she let her guard down, for the smallest moment Daniel was given hope as the very tip of his lips brushed hers.
As soon as she felt the contact, she whipped her head to the side, the defences going back up one brick at a time. His hand still warmed her cheek, she opened her mouth to speak; Daniel awaited her words, her conditions, a way to be let back in.
He never got it.
"Brian called this morning. The papers will be ready next week."
He let his hand fall from her face and took a step back, knowing his wife well enough to know that the moment had passed.
"Good morning to you Willilicious, good morning pond scum!" Marc trilled as he breezed into the kitchen. He was completely oblivious to the tension in the room, at the two people who now stood merely a meter apart, staring into each other.
When neither of them answered, he turned to them, coffee pot in mid-air as he poured a healthy measure into the mug he held. When he saw the proximity of them, the determination in both sets of eyes, he knew he had walked in on something meant only for husband and wife and stopped his movements.
"So that's it?" Daniel asked, paying no attention to Marc.
"That's it." She confirmed, equally showing no indication she was aware of Marc's presence.
Marc began walking backwards from the room, still holding the coffee pot. He had almost successfully retreated from the room when the door opening broke their trance and the excited yapping of the puppy could be heard as it bounded from its haven on Wilhelmina's couch to greet the visitor.
Daniel stepped back as Sawyer entered the room. He was smiling, unaware of the atmosphere. "Mornin' Marc, mornin' Ms Slater." He nodded.
"I told you, call me Wilhelmina." She brightened as she took in his mega-watt grin.
He nodded to her, kneeling to scratch the excitable Hudson behind the ears. "Mornin' Daniel."
"That's Mr Meade. How did you get in?" He asked, hands on his hips, hating the intrusion of the man.
Sawyer looked up at him and fished in the pocket of the loose khaki shirt he wore. He pulled his fingers out, dangling a key from them.
"You gave a stranger a key?" Daniel directed his question to Wilhelmina.
"Why not? I have one sleeping on my couch."
Daniel looked from her to Marc, who was shifting his eyes between the couple, and then to Sawyer, who was pretending to be enamoured with the dog. "Fine." He stomped from the room.
Once he was gone, Sawyer looked up at Wilhelmina. "I'm sorry you had to see that, but I'll warn you if he insists on staying here, you'll probably see a lot more." She smirked.
Still, with that ever-present smile, he looked at her. "I grew up with four sisters, I'm more than accustomed to a few harsh words."
Her smirk slowly softened into a small smile, this man in front of her made it hard to stay mad. He seemed to exude some kind of aura that just made people in his company happy; people except Daniel that is. Wilhelmina would usually be revolted by the ray of sunshine which had been brought into her life, but in the storm she was currently facing, he was exactly what she needed. Not for the reasons Daniel and everyone else seemed to think, but just for someone to show her some kindness with no personal agenda, for someone to take her as they found her and not believe everything they read in the press, for someone who always had a smile in his eyes for her, instead of the pity she saw in everyone else.
Sawyer scooped Hudson up in one hand, the creature looking tiny in his large, manly grip. "Well if you'll excuse me; I'm gonna take this little fella for his mornin' constitutional."
Wilhelmina watched him leave the room with the canine she had finally accepted was hers. She shook her head when Marc cleared her throat, realising she had been staring at the spot the handsome helper had vacated. When she faced Marc, he was smiling.
"What?" She snapped at him.
He folded his arms and swung his torso side to side. "Nothing."
She rolled her eyes. "Not you too."
"Well, come on Willie! You have seen him right? The man is walking perfection!"
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm in the middle of a particularly painful breakup."
"I know, I'm just saying, maybe you could use a little pain relief."
She stared at him, and for the first time since this debacle had began she wanted to scream at Marc, but she rationalised that he had been her rock thus far and deserved the benefit of the doubt. "I'm not a Meade, I don't need sex or alcohol to relieve my pain. I need vindication."
"Are you nearly ready?" Marc changed the subject.
She looked around the room. "I'm not coming in today." She knew Daniel was definitely going into the office and she was more than a little disconcerted by the moment they had shared mere minutes ago, when she had been so close to letting him back in. When she had been weak; when all she wanted was to fully have her husband back. She didn't want to be within six blocks of him today.
"Oh really?" Marc arched his brow, suggestively, thinking her plan was to be left alone with Sawyer.
Following his train of thought, she narrowed her eyes. "Marc, I can't tell you how grateful I am for all you've done these past weeks; but if you keep insinuating that I am about to jump into bed with someone else..." She swallowed, "I can't even think of that right now. Let me get over Daniel first for God's sake."
He nodded. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head, dismissing the subject. "Daniel has a town car booked for 9am, catch a ride in with him. Bring me the book home, I'll see you tonight."
She left her friend standing in the kitchen, watching her leave. He wondered if she realised what he already did.
That she would never really get over Daniel.
I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
Both women sat at the respective heads of the table, hands clasped on the surface, staring each other down. Fey wore a smirk on her face, she was always amused by the animosity Claire held towards her. Claire, on the other hand, held no trace of emotion in her face as she took in the woman's request.
"No." She said, lowly.
Fey tilted her head. "You know, I find it amusing that you think you can tell me what to do. You never managed to stop me sleeping with your husband, how do you think you can stop me doing anything else?"
Claire refused to rise to Fey's goading. "Well dear I don't know if you know this, but officially you are dead. If someone were to make that a reality...no one would be any the wiser."
"Aw Claire, I really get under your skin that much you would kill me twice? I'm flattered." Fey said, pretending to fan herself.
"I'm not talking about me you poisonous bitch.I will talk to Wilhelmina about our situation."
"It has to be me."
"Oh get over yourself and stop acting like Chief Mugwump will you? You are not all powerful Fey Sommers."
Fey shook her head. "Claire, you don't know her like I do. I know how her mind ticks, I know how she works. Right now she is methodically working out the reason I returned; the whys and wherefores. She won't believe what we told her, because it's ingrained in her to see everything as a lie until proven otherwise. It has to be me, I can talk her round, I always could."
"Why do you care so much about Wilhelmina's well being?"
"Why do you?"
"Because it's directly linked to my son's"
Fey ran her tongue over her teeth. "I care about her because..." Fey threw her hands up, sighing, "Hell, you don't need to know why, I just do. We had a very complex relationship, but I am responsible for who she is today, and I don't mean career wise. She has always had the talent. I'm the one who ground her down, shaped her into the monster she became; the monster she'll go back to being if she and Daniel part ways."
"And that concerns you because?"
Fey took a deep breath, knowing if she truly wanted help from the woman she had never seen as more of an obstacle keeping her from her love, then she would have to lay everything down. "If Wilhelmina does indeed leave Daniel, he is going to turn to the nearest available source of comfort; don't deny it, he's like Bradford in that respect. And my daughter is like me, she will reach out and pull him in with greedy little hands."
"Daniel wouldn't fall for that." Claire defended her son.
"Yes he would; because he's terrified of being alone and so is Amanda. Wilhelmina is too, and if she ends up the only one who is indeed alone and the two people who hurt her most move on together..." She took a deep breath. "Well I think you'll remember what she can be like."
"What makes you so sure Amanda will try and get him?"
"Because I know how her mind works too; right now she is feeling so unloved, so guilty, that in her mind the drunken mistake, that was her and Daniel, is becoming something more to her, taking on romantic notions, to her they are becoming star-crossed lovers. I know my child's delusions, because they were once mine."
Fey looked to the side, unwilling to share her next admission. "But like Bradford...Daniel will never fall out of love with his wife." She spoke softly, before looking at a shell-shocked Claire. "I don't want my daughter living a life where she is second best, I know how much that hurts."
Claire smiled softly, the words lifting her heart. "Thank you."
Fey cleared her throat, shaking off the feelings that overcame her. "Anyway, you just make sure Daniel is out of the apartment and I will make sure that scampering little poodle Marc St James is nowhere in the vicinity; give me two hours with her."
Claire nodded. "You'll have to make sure that her housekeeper and dog walker are out too."
"Dog walker?" Fey twitched her brow. "My Wilhelmina hates dogs."
Claire stood from the table and lifted her purse. "Seems you don't know her as well as you first did, she's not your Wilhelmina anymore."
Fey watched Claire slowly walk from the room as she called back to her, without turning around.
"She's Daniel's."
I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely
"So come on Suarez, you can't really be on Team Meade now can you?"
Betty looked up from her work and smiled at the grinning face of Marc St James, who was standing in the doorway with his arms folded. She quickly got up from her desk and walked to him, hugging him fiercely. "Hi you."
He stepped back and held her by her upper arms. "So let's take a proper look at you. No to the shoes, no to the skirt, burn the blouse." He squinted at her, "The jacket can stay, vintage?"
She nodded. "I'm proud." He smiled at her.
Betty walked from him, back into the office, with him following. "I'm sorry we didn't get to talk at the apartment, it was just..."
"More awkward than your dad walking into find you doing a Flashdance routine in your sister's leotard?"
She grinned, "Something like that."
He sat down on the edge of the desk. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question. You're not really taking his side are you?" His voice had become softer, more serious.
Betty leaned on the desk, next to him. "I'm not taking sides Marc. What he did was so wrong, so awful, but that's not the Daniel I know. He must have been in a really bad place, and I hate to see him suffer like this."
"You think he's suffering? Betty, you know Wilhelmina, you know how strong she is, how fiercely independent. She's broken, she put everything she had on the line, opened herself up fully to this man to get him to forgive her past so they could build a life together and he threw it all back at her."
"I know, but Daniel's my friend, I won't turn my back on him. He made a stupid mistake and you know as well as I how sorry he is. I can't hate him."
"I can." Marc growled, looking at the floor. "And I will for a very long time, like I told Willie, it's my job as the best friend; that and finding her a little playmate to bounce around with."
Betty laughed. "Ah yes, I heard about Hudson."
He turned to her and looked at her like she was an idiot. "Not Hudson, Sawyer. Hudson was the window I needed to get a hot piece of ass in that apartment."
Betty grimaced. "Marc, I doubt that's what she needs right now."
He shrugged, "We'll see. I'm not saying she needs to roll under the sheets with him, but I know she needs something to show her she can at least try to move past this."
"You don't think she'll ever get over him, do you?"
Marc pursed his lips, still staring at the carpet, and shook his head. Betty sighed. "And he won't get over her."
The two of them stayed still, both lost in thought for their friends, their reverie was broken when the lights above them flickered. "What was that?" Marc asked.
Betty flapped her hand. "Nothing, it's been playing up for a while now. Claire's sorting it. I'll mention it to Daniel"
Marc nodded. "He fucked up big style B." Swiftly changing the subject back to the matter at hand. "That's why I'm firmly on Team Slater, I guess you're still a champion for Team Meade though huh?"
"What about Team Tanen?" Betty asked softly.
Marc scoffed. "I love Mandy, I do. But right now, she does not get anyone in her corner, she's as much to blame as Daniel." He looked at her. "I'm glad you're here though, for both of them, I admire that Betty."
She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulders. "What ever happened to the days when they hated each other; father marrying, sister screwing, plotting, scheming and undermining days?"
He leaned his chin on her head and laughed.
"Was much simpler wasn't it?"
I cry at night 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you I'll stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
After work that day, Daniel made an ill advised stop, he knew he shouldn't have and the press would have a field day if they saw him, but he felt it only fair. He had been so used to seeing her down-trodden and red-eyed of late that he was surprised when the door swung open and he looked upon the bright eyed smile of Amanda.
"Daniel!" She exclaimed, "Come in."
She stood back and let him enter, he walked to the small breakfast table and sat down, fingers drumming on the surface. "I thought you should know that my divorce papers will be ready next week."
Amanda's eyes widened as she felt her heart surge. "And?" She asked with a hopeful grin.
"And I thought you should know because it's only gonna get crazier press-wise, your phone will be ringing off the hook."
"Oh...I see, is that all?"
Daniel screwed his face up, thinking. "What else would there be?"
"Nothing, no nothing." She added, too quickly, a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Daniel stood. "Well I should go...just, be prepared for the backlash won't you?"
She nodded as he came closer, stopping him by grabbing his bicep. He stopped and faced her. "Daniel, I know how hard this must be for you. Just remember, me and you, we're in the same boat here. You need a friend, I'm here."
She leaned in and hugged him, his hands went around her back and he whispered. "Thank you."
She moved back still in his embrace. "You're welcome. You need anything, and I mean anything...call me." She pressed a kiss to his cheek.
He stepped back from her, regarding her strangely. Just what was she offering him? Was she offering to support him as a friend, or something more? Did she think differently of the night the spent together? He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off before he could get the chance. "Anyway Daniel, thanks for the heads up."
After a couple more seconds of scrutiny, he nodded his head slowly and left the apartment.
Amanda looked at the closed door, smiling, and bit her lip. He didn't need to come all the way over here to tell her that. He could have called.
He hugged her back.
He didn't refuse her offer.
He didn't push her away when her lips met his cheek.
I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
Wilhelmina lay on top of the covers on her bed, she was trying desperately to nap, having not been sleeping at night due to the close proximity of her husband. The tiredness was creeping up on her, it was her constant fatigue that had almost resulted in her allowing Daniel to kiss her that morning, she was sure of it.
Just as she felt sleep threaten to take her a high pitched yelping reached her ears, followed by the familiar sound of her door closing. She tried to get back into the state of mind to let her fall asleep but her mind refused to shut back down. Wearily pulling herself from the bed, she checked her reflection in the mirror and cursed Daniel for the thousandth time for the shadows around her eyes.
She opened the door to her room and smiled, for something so small, that dog could make a hell of a lot of noise. She could hear the clicking of his little claws on the tile in her kitchen and the yapping was slowly becoming a sound she didn't register anymore.
"Hudson, c'mere...Hudson!" She heard Sawyer's deep southern drawl penetrating the house.
She came to the threshold of the kitchen and watched in amusement as the masculine man was thwarted by a small blonde pup; who was now unable to be classed as blonde due to the amount of mud caked in his fur.
"Been for a mud bath Hudson?" She quipped from her position at the door.
Sawyer's head whipped around at the sound of her voice, and there it was again, the smile she was already used to seeing. "Wilhelmina, I didn't know you were here."
She shrugged, "The office can manage without me for a day...just."
"I'm sorry about the mess, I'll have him cleaned up in a jiffy."
She nodded. "You can clean him in the guest bathroom, that's the one Daniel's using so it's used to dirty dogs."
Sawyer chuckled and picked up the puppy, leaving her as he went to the bathroom. Biting on her lip, she slowly followed him. Peering inside as he filled the tub with a couple of inches of water and plopped Hudson into it, who instantly began scrambling to get out. Sawyer held him down firmly with one hand and set about cleaning him. He pulled a small bottle from his pocket and squeezed a drop of liquid onto the fur; lathering the dog up until he was nothing more than a ball of suds with eyes. Hudson shook himself and covered Sawyer with soap, muck and water.
From her stand at the doorway, Willie laughed. Sawyer tilted his head and caught her there. "Betcha wouldn't think it so funny if this was all over your Dior?" He grinned.
"You really don't know fashion do you, this is Armani." She smiled back.
She walked into the room and cleared her throat, never one to make small talk, she was finding it difficult to start. "Did you always want to work with animals?" Lame Wilhelmina, really fucking lame.
If he caught her discomfort, it didn't show. "I did, my dad wasn't too keen on the idea though."
"Ah, disappointed fathers, I know them well." She leaned against the wall.
"He wanted me to take over his business, being the only son and all, but it just wasn't my scene."
"What wasn't?"
"Oil rigs." He laughed.
"Oil rigs." She repeated, incredulous. "You're telling me your father is an oil tycoon, but you'd rather walk dogs for a living?"
He continued to laugh. "That would be correct."
He lifted the now clean puppy from the bath and wrapped him in the towel Wilhelmina handed him. After a few seconds of frenzied rubbing, the puppy was dry and a fuzzy mound of fur emerged from the towel and scampered off.
Sawyer and Wilhelmina looked at each other, an awkward silence falling now that the dog wasn't there to act as a buffer. He ran a hand through his shoulder length hair. Willie smiled at him before her eyes widened. "Shit, that dog's too damn quiet!"
She hurried from the room and sure enough, found Hudson happily chewing on something in the hallway. "Hudson NO!" She shouted and tried to wrench whatever it was from the dog. Eventually he relented and Wilhelmina pulled one of Daniel's silk ties from his teeth. She looked down at the dog and grinned. "Good boy." She threw the tie back to him and ruffled the fur on his head.
Behind her, Sawyer laughed. "You know if you had some toys for him, he wouldn't chew as much."
"What are you, the dog whisperer?"
He smiled. "I just have an affinity with them. I get them and they get me. Dogs are much better than people, you get from the relationship exactly what you put in. There's no bullshit or power plays or mind games with dogs. You love them and they love you back, it's that simple."
She swallowed, his words hitting too close to home. "Marc said he got a whole bunch of dog stuff when he got him. I think he put it in the hall closet."
She walked to the closet and felt Sawyer behind her as she opened it. "I've upset you, I'm sorry. My ma' always told me I could fit both feet in my mouth in less than five words."
"It's fine, really." She rummaged through the closet, Sawyer reached up search the top shelf where she couldn't reach. He pulled down the items in front. "Oh." He said softly as he looked at what was in his hand.
Wilhelmina turned to look at what he was holding. "What...oh." She sighed. "So that's where Marc hid them all."
In his hand Sawyer held a stack of picture-frames, inside the top frame were Daniel and Wilhelmina. The picture was not posed or forced, it had been taken without them knowing . They were happy, his hands were on her hips and his body leaned towards hers as he whispered something in her ear, his lips curved in a smile. Her hands held his biceps as she listened to his words, smiling back at him.
She took the picture from Sawyer and sat down on the floor, her legs stretched in front of her as she studied the photo in silence. Sawyer sat down next to her, not speaking, waiting for her to say the first word.
"It feels like I'm looking at two other people." She stated, no emotion, just staring at the picture.
"When was it?"
"The day we got married."
"No it's not."
Wilhelmina turned to face him. "Excuse me?"
"That ain't your wedding day." He pointed at the picture. "I've seen you wedding day in that magazine y'all work at, and that ain't it."
She squinted at him. "Mode doesn't seem like your kind of reading material."
He pointed at himself with his thumb. "Four sisters, remember?"
She laughed. "Okay, so it's not our wedding day." She sighed. "It was supposed to be."
"Whaddya mean?"
She looked at him and opened her mouth to answer, suddenly realising she was sharing with a complete stranger. "What is it that makes you so easy to talk to?"
He shrugged. "Just one of those faces I guess." He nudged her with his elbow. "Anyway, you were sayin'."
She looked back at the picture. "We'd been together for about ten months when we told people about us. There was all the reactions you would expect, but after a year we still hadn't convinced Claire. She still hated me, rightly I might add, so Daniel decided 'to hell with it' he wanted to marry me."
Sawyer looked at her, urging her to continue.
"We only told three people, Marc, Daniel's assistant Betty and...her" She laughed mirthlessly, "Amanda, and we only told her because we knew Marc would anyway. Marc and Betty were going to be witnesses, go out at lunchtime, down to the courthouse and bam; get married, back in work in time for afternoon meetings."
"That doesn't sound very romantic."
She looked at the picture, her thumb stroking the smiling faces. "Oh but it was. It was me and him, doing it our way. Just about us, no one else. What's more romantic than that?"
"So what stopped you?"
Her head leaned back to rest against the wall. "Amanda, before she was a home-wrecker, she held the title of world's worst secret keeper and she blabbed to Claire. Next thing we know, like something out a bad 80's movie, Claire races into the courthouse and stops the wedding."
"Really?" He laughed.
She nodded. "I think that might have been the turning point for Claire, when she realised how real it was. Anyway, she said she couldn't bear not to see Daniel get married, no matter who to. So we walked out the courthouse and ended up with the media circus wedding you saw in Mode. As far as I was concerned it was just for appearances."
She lifted the stack of photos from Sawyer and looked through them until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out the picture; Daniel in topcoat and tails, she in the most beautiful gown. "You see that might be our wedding day." She pointed to the posed picture of bride and groom."But to me..." she pointed at the one she still held, which Marc had taken, clicking the camera like an idiot outside the courthouse, "THAT was the day we got married."
Staring at both the pictures, remembering how happy they had been, made her eyes burn. She swallowed and thrust both pictures back to Sawyer.
He reached over and lightly cupped her chin between his fingers and turned her head. When she was facing him he used a thumb to wipe the wetness under her eyes. He looked deep in her eyes and for once didn't offer up his trademark smile.
His eyes stayed on hers as he moved his head closer, Wilhelmina didn't move; did not withdraw or respond as he whispered. "I hope he knows what a fool he is."
"He does." The hurt, angry voice came from the top of the hall.
Daniel stood looking down at his wife on the floor with the handsome stranger. His anger faded when Wilhelmina looked back at him and he saw the shining in her eyes. His gaze shifted to Sawyer and he saw the stack of pictures in his lap; the evidence of his life with her. He walked up to them, bent down and picked up all the photographs. Neither Wilhelmina nor Sawyer spoke as Daniel placed them back in the closet and slowly walked back out the apartment.
Wilhelmina was too tired to fight him as she heard the door click shut.
I need your break when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning, I can't be lonely
And I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
Claire loved to watch the rain, it soothed her; and that was exactly what she needed right now. Half her family was on the other side of the Atlantic and the other half was being ripped apart. Her son stood to lose the company his family had built for generations and she had been spending increasing amounts of time with her recently resurrected love rival.
Sometimes sparkling water just didn't cut it.
She drank deeply from the scotch and groaned when her doorbell rang. The last time she had a late night visitor it had been by someone she believed dead.
Who was it now? Bradford?
She opened the door and gasped, broken hearted at the empty man stood on the threshold. Daniel was soaked to the skin, the expression of defeat on his face hurt her as she took in the shell he had become.
He was looking at the ground, rain streaming down his face, but she knew the raindrops were mixed with his tears. She reached out a hand and pulled him inside, hugging him with all her strength, letting him break against her.
"Can I stay here?" He asked against her shoulder, in a pitiful voice.
"Of course." She whispered back and then closed her eyes in pain as she heard a sob coming from her baby boy.
He pulled back and looked at his mother, forced himself to say the words he had been avoiding for weeks.
"It's really over."
I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me