RIVALS

by BlackStreak1

The rivalry between Ben and Ricky has always been one sided with Ricky as the victor. But Ben found triumph in being a loser, and now the rivalry will be put to the final challenge who will come out as the final victor. But perhaps there never needed to be a winner. Leo realized that, but now that he is gone will Ricky or Ben realize they wasted their time.

10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the exceptionally long wait for the conclusions to this story, but I got back tracked over the past couple of months, but I am right on track again...(hopefully)

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER is owned and property of Brenda Hampton, and the producers of ABCFAMILY CHANNEL. The characters involved in this story are totally fictional as are the situations, the plot involved with this story however is mine.

"We're Not Making Love No More"

After reading Ben's journal, and his letter to her Adrian realized that she had to take the risk to be with him again not because she loved him, but because for the first time since she had known Ben, and probably for the first time in his life Ben admitted to needing someone. But, she also wanted to do something else, and that was repair the damage that had occurred so many years ago.

May 16, 2019
OFFICE OF DR. ALICE VALKO MILLER (THERAPIST)
11:23 PM

Receptionist: Dr. Miller you have a call on line one.

Alice: Thanks Danni. Yes, this Dr. Miller.

Adrian: Alice, its' me Adrian.

Alice: Adrian, what are you doing calling me here. After what you did a month ago you should know better.

Adrian: Alice I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have over reacted like I did, but I guess some bad habits are harder to break than others, and my habit of being a bitch when I get angry is very hard to break.

April 10. 2019
Home of Dr. Alice Miller, and Lt. Henry Miller. (baby crying in background)
Alice: I'll get it.

Henry: No, I'll get it.

Alice: Oh no, Hank. You are going to change your son. You have been avoiding diaper duty for three days now.

Henry: (smiling at her and laughing)

Alice: What is so funny.

Henry: Diaper Dooty. (laughing)

Alice: Hank you are 27 years old, a Liuetenant in the army, you saw actualy combat, a husband and father now. Stop acting like stupid teenager. But it was pretty funny. (

smiling) (Henry turns and heads upstairs to get Benny, Alice opens door and is surprised to see Adrian) Adrian what are you doing here?

Adrian: (tackles Alice to the ground) How could you? He was supposed to be your friend and you just seduce him like some slut.

Alice: Adrian what the hell are you talking about. (Shocked at Adrian attacking her and rolls her over)

Henry: What is going on down here? (Sees the fight, and breaks it up) Adrian what are you doing, its a little to late to be fighting over me.

Adrian/Alice: Shut up Hank!

Adrian: We were fighting because I just found out how your wife took advantage of Ben.

Henry: Alice, you slept with Ben again? (shocked)

Adrian: Again?... you mean you knew they slept together.

Henry: If you're talking about that time they slept together in high school yeah. Alice told me, its' what caused me to go after Dylan when she and Ben were dating.

Adrian: You mean, you got angry at Ben for sleeping with Alice, when you had already slept with me. And you little Miss Goody two shoes took advantage of Ben to get back at your idiot husband for screwing around on you after you two broke up. What type of friends are you?

Alice: First of all Adrian, what happened between Ben and me happened a long time ago, and Hank and I worked it out. That's why we are married. Second, Ben and I sleeping together was not your business. Third, you of all people should know better considering it was your little one night stand with Henry that started all of this.

Adrian: I know that, but you were supposed to be his friend and better than me. You were his last friend in the world and you did him just like your idiot husband.

Henry: Hey, I might be an idiot but you were not blameless that night.

Adrian: No, I'm not. But, I had issues what was your excuse. You had a perfectly good girlfriend, and friend. You didn't lose a baby, and have a marriage that was sinking. You have no idea how it felt for me or Ben. For both of us. He needed you, both of you.

Alice: Look whose talking Adrian. We know all to well how he felt Adrian, we saw him go through it before when his mom died, but you wouldn't know that would you.

Adrian: And you still do that to him. You two should be ashamed, no wonder he left.

Alice: We know that Adrian, and we are sorry for everything that happened between us and Ben. But you will not put all of this on us. You were the one who went to his car and took his virginity to get back at Ricky and Amy. Wasn' t he was supposed to be your friend too. You were the one that claimed you loved him, and married him. Then after your daughter died you let him suffer while he spent months trying to take care of you. Then you get rid of the nursery not caring how much pain it would cause him. But, instead of talking to him or going to therapy to fix your marriage you just throw him away just like Amy to be with Ricky. Then after Ricky humiliates you again Ben comes to your rescue only so you can sleep with Hank, who is an idiot by the way, just to hurt him for not trying to sleep with you.

Hank: Hey!

Alice: Hank, you know you were, so let me talk

Hank: Okay.

Alice: Don't try and burden my family with your mistakes. We have suffered enough for what we did, and unlike you we at least tried to attone to Ben for everything that happened. What did you ever do to help Ben deal with anything? Oh yeah, you move your boyfriend who is a teacher at our school into the home you were supposed to share with him, and start playing house just like Ricky and Amy. You two were dispicable.

Adrian: You're right. (Looks regretful) Sorry for disturbing you. (leaves)

Alice: And by the way. While you were making your angry attack for me sleeping with Ben ten years ago, you should have fought that hard for your marriage. But, I guess Ben wasn't good enough for you.

Adrian: It wasn't him being good enough for me, it was me not being good enough for him.

PRESENT STORY PLACEMENT:

Alice: What do you want Adrian trying to reschedule another fight?

Adrian: No, I need your help with something...

HOME OF AMY & RICKY UNDERWOOD (FORMER JUERGENS HOME)
12:00 PM

Amy: (Answering door after hearing knock) Ricky, what are you doing here?

Rick: (holding flowers) I'm here to talk to you Amy. Talk and apologize for everything that has been happening.

Amy: Keep the flowers, I don't need a peice offering. Come in. (steps aside so Ricky can enter)

Ricky: (steps in) Amy I want to say that I'm sorry for how I cheated on you, and hurt you.

Amy: I know you're sorry Ricky, but I need to ask why, Ricky? Why after everything we went through in highschool together, after all the people that got hurt in the process would you do this to us.

Ricky: I don't really know Amy. I honestly don't have an explanation for what I did. I was away on those trips, and honestly if felt good to be out, and away from home. To just be a single guy who can go and come as I pleased without the burden of having a wife and kids at home.

Amy: So, that is what we are to you a burden? (angry at that comment)

Ricky: No, Amy that isn't how I see you and our family. It's just we got married so young. When I married you I was ready to be a husband and father, but after raising John by myself for so long while you were in New York I resented you.

Amy: I came back Ricky, I only stayed gone for tw years.

Ricky: Amy the only reason you came back was because you discovered you were pregnant. Everyday, I was worried that you were cheating on me with some other guy. I would get angry at how you were living it up in New York while you left me holding the bag taking care of John.

Amy: If that is how you felt Ricky then why didn't you say anything?

Ricky: Guilt, Amy. I felt that I owed you the right to be free, and live your life in New York because that is what you always wanted to do. I felt that because you would have been living it up in New York single and care free if I wouldn't have gotten you pregnant.

Amy: So, is that why you married me too, because you felt you owed me.

Ricky: I'm not going to lie Amy that was part of the reason. But, you can't make this all about me because I know that you married me for the exact same reason.

Amy: You're right I did. Honestly the only reason I started dating you was because I felt I should give us a chance for John, and because...

Ricky: Because Ben and Adrian were having a baby together... Go ahead and say it Amy. You chose to be with me to get back at Ben for getting Adrian pregnant.

Amy: Really, you are going to try and put that on me, when you were the whole reason Ben and I got back together the first place. You brought him to my home that night claiming to want to do a good deed. So what was the real reason why you did that Ricky... Was it to be a friend to me and Ben, or was it because you were scared that Ben and Adrian were getting closer after they slept together?

Ricky: I guess both. I knew that Adrian and Ben felt more for each other than friendship. I also knew that they didn't just sleep together for revenge against us. They just used us as an excuse, and you know it too Amy.

Amy: Ben didn't have feelings for Adrian like that then Ricky.

Ricky: Really? How would you know Amy. Did you truly know Ben as well as you thought, or did you just think you had that much power over him, because of how crazy you would make him.

Amy: I didn't make Ben crazy Ricky. He was in love with me.

Ricky: Adrian was in love with me, but were we in love with them? Or did we just use them and drive them crazy with our little game with one another. Our game is why they were able to find each other, and talk, and get closer. Like it or not Amy they might have been in love with us, but they were better for each other than they ever would be with you or me or anyone else.

Amy: Oh please Ricky now you're trying to blame their break up on us. Ben and Adrian were married, and the only reason they got married was because of the baby. If they were really in love they would have made it after she died.

Ricky: If John had died can you really say we would be here right now? If our son died would we be together at all or would you be with Ben right now or someone else. Face it Amy the only thing that truly connected us were our children.

Amy: What conneceted Ben to Adrian.

Ricky: The very same thing that connects Adrian to Ben, they actually fell in love with each other, but everything else got in the way.

Amy: Like what, Ricky?

Ricky: Us, Amy. I screwed Adrian up emotionally just like everyone I did everyone else. I got her to fall in love with me, and be there for me and I was never there for her. The only I would do is let her get close only to send her to the edge, and the only person who found a way to pull her back from the edge was Ben. You of all people know you played with Ben like a yoyo. Adrian gave him the saeme balance that she gave me.

Amy: Really, because you said that I was the one that changed you. So who was it Ricky me or Adrian.

Ricky: It was everyone Amy. You made me feel guilty for what I did to you. Ben showed me the man I should have been and wanted to be. Adrian believed in me that I could be a good man. My parents loved me enough to see the good in me. Leo had faith in me to know I could be a good man. My therapist showed me that I was not my father, or what he did to me, and everyone else trusted me to be a good man. But it was John who made me want to be that man.

Amy: so if that was the case how come you aren't still that man. How come that man wasn't there either of the times you cheated on me.

Ricky: Because deep down Amy I'm not that man, or at least the man you want me to be. The man that Adrian and you wanted me to be is the man that Ben is, and I'm tired of pretending. I love you Amy, but I don't love myself anymore. I dont' know if this is who I am, or if this is who I wanted to be, or am I just pretending. I love my life with you and our boys, but I wonder all the time if this is the life I wanted for me, or the life you wanted. It feels like I let everyone else decide my fate. Its' why I really hate Ben. Because he was allowed to find himself and be the man he wanted to be. He didn't steal or clone his personality from anyone, I did. I feel like a stranger in my own skin.

Amy: So, Ricky are you telling me that you wanted to cheat on me, or are you telling me that you want a divorce.

Ricky: No, Amy I'm telling you that I'm not happy, and you're not happy. We haven't been happy for a long time now.

Amy: So is that it. I don't make you happy anymore. That I'm not good enough to get you off in bed anymore.

Ricky: No it's not that Amy. But, if we have to discuss it tell me when was the last time we had sex.

Amy: Sex, it always comes back to that. Excuse me for being tired of raising our children, cleaning our home, cooking dinner, and going to school. Sorry I do all that, and I'm no longer sexually fulfilling your needs.

Ricky: Amy don't give me that. When we first started I did all of that every day, and I still was ready to be with you every night. But you still haven't answered my question

Amy: I don't know Ricky six months ago...(shaking her head unsure when they last slept together)

Ricky: Eight months and three weeks Amy. For the last two years you have been pulling away from me every night we're in bed.

Amy: What do you mean.

Ricky: When we first started sleeping together Amy you would cuddle next to me every night. I usually never liked having anyone that close to me, but after a while I started to like the feeling of having you next to me. Then I actually started to need to feel you next to me. Then when you left for New York I would pray to have you next to me. Then after Jaime was born you started to pull away or turn over when you sleep. Over time little by little you would pull away from me. Now you don't even let me hold you for longer than ten minutes when we're in bed before you pull away.

Amy: I know. Usually it's because I felt safe when you held me. But over time when I was in New York I felt I needed to be stronger to not need you there for me. When I got back it felt strange. Now I don't feel I need you to be next to me.

Ricky: When was the last time we were happy Amy? When was the last time you smiled at me?

Amy: I don't know.

Ricky: The last time you had a true smile was when you saw Ben when he came back for his dad's funeral. Then I followed you last week to Ben's apartment. I saw how sexy you looked, and how turned on you seemed to be going there to sleep with him, and cheat on me. You haven't had that look for me in almost two years. Then I saw you smile so big and happy when you left his apartment, how you smiled so happily and honestly. I think the last time you msiled like that for me was when Jaimee was born.

Amy: Nothing happened that night Ricky, Ben wouldn't let it. Mainly because you were right, he does love Adrian, even more than he loved me.

Ricky: I know nothing happened, he told me during or after the fight.

Amy: Fight you and Ben got into a fight.

Ricky: Yeah, we did.

Amy: Who, won? (smiling as she looked at Ricky and noticed the bruise on his lip and cheek covered by make-up)

Ricky: We both did, but we will not be fighting again.

Amy: What happened?

Ricky: Lets' just say Ben fights just like his relationships, he gives even better than he gets these days. But it was good for us to fight. We finally settled this rivalry we had for years.

Amy: That's good. I always felt you two could have been friends if I and Adrian and everything else hadn't got in the way.

Ricky: No, Ben and I got in our own way. I was jealous of him for being the guy everyone needed. He was jealous of me for being the guy everyone wanted.

Amy: How are we going to settle things between us?

Ricky: I don't know, Amy. I love you but I don't like myself anymore, and that is why I'm not happy. When we argued a month ago I was so angry at you. I was angry at myself and for a moment I became my father, and I realized the reason I wasn't happy was because I wasn't happy with myself. That is why my dad, did what he did to me and my mom. He didn't like himself and he blamed us for it, so he made us just as miserable and unhappy as he was. I don't want to feel like that toward you Amy, and I never want to do anything to hurt our family.

Amy: I know what you mean. I found out that my sister is married, and is about to be a mom. I saw her smile and look so beautiful at her wedding. I was ashamed Ricky. I remember how Ashley was always there for me, and I hated how I have never been there for her. She is living a life so far away from me, and I'm to blame. My sister gave up everything for me, I would have never made it through my pregnancy without her. She has turned to Ben of all people to be close to now.

Ricky: Ashley and Ben have become friends?

Amy: Ashley was always friends with Ben, but they liked to keep their distance because they knew they were so different, and also a lot alike. I guess I never noticed it, and neither did they until no one else was there to get in the way.

Ricky: I guess you're right about that, (began to remember his friendships with Ashley and Ben they were both alike, and different. Almost like two sides of a coin. Both were kind honest, and loyal, but Ben was more positive and hopeful Ashley was not. That was probably why both left home.)

Amy: Well let's get back to what are we going to do to fix us, Ricky?

Ricky: I love you Amy, but I think we both need time and space to see if we are in love with each other.

Amy: I think it's time I visit my sister, and so should the boys.

Ricky: Amy, I can take care of the boys. I can watch them while you go and visit Ashley. Besides they still have school.

Amy: No, I can do it. I had two years to be free, you need it too. Not two years, but time. I am a certified teacher so I can home school the boys. I think it will let me get closer to John, he's been so angry with me since you left. I think those years I was in New York made him distrust me. I need to earn back my son and my sister.

Ricky: I need to find out who I am so I can trust myself. (takes her face in his hands looks Amy in the eyes) I love you Amy, and I hope this space and time is all we need.

Amy: (places her arms around his neck) So do I...

Authors Note: Have the song We're not making love no more by Dru Hill playing

"We're Not Making Love No More"

[Verse One:]
Sure I've been in love a time or two
But in the end I still chose you
No one could ever make me feel this way
That's why it's killing me, what we're going through
Somehow thought 'tween me and you
Our love would stand the test of time and never ever fade

[Chorus:]
But we're not making love no more
We're not even trying to change
Tell me how it slips away
Does it ever stay the same
We don't even talk no more
We've ran out of words to say
Tell me it don't have to change
Won't it ever stay the same

[Verse Two:]
Girl I know that things aren't going right
But don't you think it deserves a fight
A love like ours don't happen everyday
And we're losing it right as we speak
And if we don't wake up, it's a memory
A time gone past, a love that sailed away

[Chorus]

I dream of lovers past and
I see a girl so sad cause
She lost the only man she

loved
He went away
Well it's not too late for us
To change

[Chorus]