Chapter Ten

EPOV

I cradled Bella's face in my hands kissing her lips softly. I felt her tears run to my hands as she licked my bottom lip, urging me to grant her access to my mouth. I didn't need anymore of an invitation and I darted my tongue out circling her tongue with mine. Though it wasn't full of the sparks, the kissed caused tingles to spread though my chest, to my dick.

She wrapped her little hand into my hair, causing me to moan in her mouth. I wanted so badly to crawl on top of her and grind my growing hard on, onto her. I ran my hands down her neck, allowing just the tips of my fingers to graze her long neck. I felt her smile under my kiss. I started to draw back from the kiss only to have her pull me back.

As much as I really did not want to, we needed to stop before Charlie came back and went all Jerry Springer on my ass.

"Bella," I said, trying to pull away, "your dad." I opened my eyes as she let go of her fist full of hair. She let out a heavy sigh, expressing the same reaction I felt. I watched as more tears silently slipped out of her eyes. "You're going to be fine, you know," I picked up her hand, allowing it to gently rest in mine. Even the simplest act of holding hands made my dick twitch.

"You know, I've always wanted it to disappear. To be normal, have friends, maybe even a boyfriend, but now…now I'm terrified." I watched another tear escape and I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb. I tried to smile at her, reassure her that I thought everything was going to be hunky fucking dory, but my smile came out as a weak lip tremble.

As hard as it was, I tried not to think. And when I did, I forced it to be positive. But in my heart, I was devastatingly petrified for her, and for me.

Soon, the topic changed and we were going on about school, Alice and Jasper. Charlie came back in her room, along with the night nurse. Visiting hours were over and I needed to leave. I reluctantly told Bella I'd see her tomorrow and walked out her door, looking back only to see her tears had began to flow again.

At home I was greeted by Esme sitting in the living room, "Edward, can you come here please." I slumped my shoulders and shuffled my feet to the couch. "Sit," she patted the spot next to her and I flopped down on the couch causing her little frame to bounce. She instantly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a motherly embrace. "Edward, I want you to know I love you, and no matter what, you can always talk to me," she kissed the top of my head. "I kept your dinner in the microwave. Go eat."

"Thanks Mom," I said, dismissively. Yes, I loved my mom. But was I going to go into my fucked up life with her? Umm no.

I ignored my dinner and went straight to my room. Once again, I was alone. I took out my phone, placing it on my nightstand. Throwing my shoes haphazardly on the floor, I removed my shirt and socks and trenched my way to the shower.

As the hot water streamed down my body, I couldn't help but think about Bella. Nothing new really, I always thought of her. I wondered what her bare breasts looked like; I wondered if she shaved her pubic hair. My dick was growing at the imaginary image I concurred up in my mind.

I thought of all the dirty things I wanted to do to Bella and relieved myself.

After the shower, I smoked another cigarette and crawled into bed willing myself to sleep. Bella's words replaying over and over in my head… "A boyfriend." Finally, I fell asleep with a new mission in mind; I was going to ask Isabella Swan to officially be my girlfriend. No matter what shit life threw at us, Bella would be more than just my cure.

The next day, I was forced to go to school. Pappy knew how to use leverage. If I didn't go I wouldn't have a car. My visit after school was crowded and I didn't get a chance to be alone with Bella. Saturday, her mom came in. That shit didn't keep me from seeing her, but it did keep my visit short. Sunday, was horrendous. I sat with Charlie and Renee and found out what Monday had in store. Bella would have her tumor removed.

For five days I spent ignoring this day. Monday's suck dick, this we all know. But this Monday didn't just suck any dick, it sucked elephant dick. I was waiting next to Charlie, Renee, that fucker Jacob, his crippled pop, Jasper and Alice, as Bella was in surgery. The thought of someone fucking around in her head, made me want to puke all over Jacob's long black hair.

My headaches gradually grew worse throughout the week, thanks to the lack of silence when Bella and I touched. I couldn't get enough nicotine in my system, and I was out of valium. I am one smart ass remark away from climbing my clock tower and taking out everyone with me.

I paced the halls, annoyed the nurses, and fucked with Carlisle... mostly for fun. I learned there are one hundred and twenty-six tiles that make up the decorated image on the front of the nurses station. It took forty-four steps from where I sat to the door where they wheeled Bella through. Looking down at my watch, again, I have been here for five hours, seventeen minutes and ten seconds…eleven…twelve…

Jasper and Alice were the first to leave, followed by Jacob and his father. Renee sat nervously on one couch in the waiting room; she mostly blamed herself for what has happen. Charlie who was seated in a small office chair thought the same. Apparently, Renee left Charlie when Bella was only an infant. Renee claimed that Forks wasn't her kind of town, even though she grew up here. Much to Charlie's dismay, Renee moved to Phoenix with Bella, and did not allow Bella to visit often.

I sat off in the corner, running my fingers religiously through my hair. We all heard the door in the hall open and we simultaneously stood up. The nurse came in the room to tell us Bella was out of surgery and headed to a new ICU room.

As we all walked just below a jog to her room, we were greeted by none other than pappy.

"I can do this, for my patient, I can do this. Wow he looks like shit. I wonder if he's sleeping well?"

I was slightly taken back at the concern in Carlisle's thoughts. I was expecting the normal jest crap that came along with him.

"I guess I'd look that way to if I had a daughter in this condition."

Ah, there it was the let down, the shame, the remorse that I will never live up to his expectations. I clinched my fists in my pockets and evened out my breathing. Charlie must have noticed my demeanor and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, she's gonna be just fine," Charlie said to me as we neared toward doctor dickhead.

"Charlie, Renee," he stuck out his hand for a shake, Renee shook his hand first and Charlie simply stood with his one hand in his pocket and the other on my shoulder.

"Umm, well Bella's surgery went without incident. We will keep her under anesthesia for the rest of the day and some of tomorrow, then we'll gradually ease her awake. This is when we'll find out if Bella has received any permanent brain damage. Are there any questions you have?" he stood before us looking like the ideal worried doctor.

"Yummy, look at the mama. Damn, to have my hand over those breasts."

"Yeah, I do," I couldn't help myself from not speaking up. It was the filter failure moment. "Your wife wants to know when you're gonna be home? It's been a few days." I walked past him, knocking him in the shoulder with mine and quietly walked into Bella's room.

Renee and Charlie came in shortly after. I gave Bella a kiss on the cheek, hand, and ever piece of skin I could before walking over to the couch. I had only fifteen minutes with her and then it was time for me to leave.

I stayed up that night doing homework, reading emails, and jerking off. Sleep evaded me until about three in the morning. Even still it was a restless sleep. Dreams of a life with no Bella woke me at six. Just in time to get ready for school.

While smoking my morning cigarette, I took note that Carlisle came home last night. I smiled at my doing and flicked my cigarette onto the wet ground below.

Tuesday sucked. Wednesday sucked. Thursday sucked. I went to school. Listened to people say Bella was dying or pregnant and that is why she hadn't been in school. Jasper hovered over me asking me if I was suicidal yet.

Friday, I ditched and went to the hospital, only because I knew pappy didn't have to work. Esme had some painting for him to do, so no chance of him popping in at the hospital. I had something special for Bella, and I couldn't wait till later to do it.

I found Renee in Bella's room. She was flicking through channels on the elevated TV.

"Hey," she said, as I walked in. I looked over at Bella and took note that they removed the tube from her throat and I could now see her face fully. Her pouty lips were swollen and red marks were around her mouth. "They removed it about two hours ago. They want to start waking her up." I walked over to her and kissed the red marks on both sides of her lips.

"She looks better," I noted to Renee. "Do you mind if I have a few moments with her. I have something I want to do, and doing it in front of someone is kinda weird." Renee wore a horrified look on her face. When I heard her thoughts, a small laugh escaped my throat. "Yeah that didn't come out right," I opened my backpack and pulled out a worn copy of 'The Grapes of Wrath', "I'm gonna read to her," I specified.

Her face relaxed and smiled a bit. "Of course, I'll join Charlie for a bite to eat. You really love her don't you?"

I looked down at her resting beautifully on the bed, my heart hurt seeing her like this. I smiled up at Renee, letting my unspoken words speak for me.

When Renee left, I pulled the recliner over to her bedside. I settled in and began my reading to her. In some ways I prayed she could hear me, hear my voice reading to her. In others, I wanted to crawl under the bed and hide in fear she could hear me when I stammered on words. I wanted it to be perfect for her. I wanted to be…romantic.

Yep, Edward, Mac Daddy, Cullen on his own free will wanted to be romantic. Jasper can never ever find this shit out.

I was on the third chapter when I got up to get a drink of water. Reading out loud was exhausting. As filled up the small plastic glass with tap water and began drinking.

"Ugh." I heard behind me and spit the water out of my mouth. It sprayed over the counter and small mirror. I dropped the cup in the sink and ran to her bedside.

"Bella, I'm here," I grabbed her hand with one of mine and pressed the nurse call button with my other. She let out another moan and I kissed her hand. "Shh... don't try to talk. The nurse is coming," I said, while pushing the call button again. Seriously, where the fuck is the nurse?

"Edward?" she asked in barely a whisper. My heart leapt with joy that she knew who I was. I pressed the button again.

"Fuck! Hang on love," I reluctantly let go of her hand and ran to the door. "HEY!" I yelled. A nurse sitting behind the station looked up at me with a bored expression on her face. "Get your ass in here! I've been buzzing you," I yelled at her.

The nurse came in and paged the doctor. I called Charlie and him and Renee showed up in about two minutes of my call. We all stood side by side as the doctor asked her questions.

"Do you know where you are?" she asked as she listened to Bella's heart beat.

"The hospital," she answered in a hushed voice. I grabbed Charlie's hand when she answered correctly. I quickly released it when I had actually realized I had done it.

"Do you know who this is?" she motioned for Renee to come closer.

"My mom," Bella answered. This time Charlie was the one to grab mine. I didn't flinch away from his grasp or try to remove my hand from his.

"And him?" She pointed to Charlie.

"My dad," Charlie's mind went racing along with Renee's. We were all thinking the same thing… Bella is going to be just fine.

"What about this young man?" I walked to her bed side and picked up her hand. I smiled widely at her.

"Edward," hearing my name from anyone had never sounded so good. Goosebumps scattered across my body and tears formed in the pits of my eyes.

At the last answer Charlie held Renee in his arms and they both cried tears of joy.

"What… is… and…"

I stared down at Bella. My heart started racing.

"Bella, I heard you! In pieces but I heard you!" I all but yelled at her. I wanted to scream for joy at the top of my lungs.

"You… hear…" Her eyes lit up and a small smile spread across her lips. I nodded yes.

Her heart monitor started to race, "Bella, are you are you in pain?" the doctor asked, in a concerned voice. Bella shook her head no.

"Just happy," she whispered, as a tear slid out of her eye.

I could hear Bella clearer everyday that passed. I came up with a brilliant theory of my own this time. The drugs were clouding my ability to hear her. She concurred with this theory and laughed that I had become smarter than her. She was unable to hear anyone... but me. I was jubilant at this change. I no longer had to worry about her hearing the vile crap that was in people's minds. They could no longer taint her innocents and beauty. Only I could!

Our fire has yet to return, but I have faith that it will.

Though she was still in the hospital we spent our afternoon catching her up on school work. By her demand, not mine. We even made a promise that when she was better, she'd teach me to find my own silence.

I continued to read to her, by her demand- again. I never realized she was such a demanding person. I fucking loved it.

But, throughout all the talks and all the time together, the big "L" word never came up. I didn't want to tell her now; I wanted it to be special and meaningful. Not just a rash decision because of the situation.

A few more days passed and Bella was able to go home. To Bella's surprise, Renee was staying with them for awhile.

"What are they thinking?" she begged for play by play on their thoughts.

"Mind your own business, it's rude to tell people's secrets," she smacked me on the shoulder. Turning to watch TV again, she crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip. I groaned inwardly. I hated the pout. It pulled at my heart strings.

"Please," she asked batting her eye lashes, "I won't tell them I know. I won't even react. I promise." She crossed her heart with her finger.

I brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear, kissing her temple and whispered, "No Bella, I will not tell you."

"Gee and here I was thinking you loved me," horror filled her eyes as the words escaped her thoughts and I stared at her in shock. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said that," she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, "just forget I said that okay."

"Bella, I…" I wanted so desperately to tell her. I took her hand into mine, longing for our missing spark. "Would you be my girlfriend?"

I watched as the redness from her neck grew up to her cheeks. She was so beautiful when she blushed. I had to keep reminding Mr. Poon that we would not push that particular subject anytime soon. "Yes." She said out loud and all but jumped in my lap. "I've been waiting for you to ask me that. It took you long enough," she said, as she leaned down gently to kiss my awaiting lips. As our lips touched, disappointment rose again and the missing silence her touch once provided me.

The following week she was able to return to school. I picked her up in the morning gleaming with pride that she was officially my girlfriend. Mine.

"You're sure you're ready for this?" I asked, as I opened her car door. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"Yes Edward, I'm sure. I even get to wear your hat in school," she sat down in her seat and grabbed my worn blue ball hat from the dash board. I smiled at the way she looked.

After returning to my seat and her reminding me a few times to keep my eyes on the road, we made it to school.

"Wow, umm, everyone is staring at us. Why?" I loved how she was so clueless now.

"Bella's back. She must have had an abortion," one girl said.

"He's still with her? I still don't see what he sees in her. She so plain," that wasn't any girl- that was the devil incarnate, Jessica.

"There just curious as to where you've been that's all," I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer. As we passed Jessica, I gave Bella a kiss on the top of her head.

"Asshole." I heard her say. I smiled at her and kept walking.

"Thank fucking God," I thought to myself.

"Thank God what?" Bella looked up at me with the most innocent eyes. I kissed her forehead and just shook my head dismissing the thought all together.

It was painful to let Bella go to class. First through third periods, I didn't register a fucking thing the nimrod teachers were talking about. But fourth period, I got to be next to Bella again and it was heaven.

I didn't let go of her hand once from the time she sat down until lunch was over the following hour. I begged her to ditch the rest of the day but like a good little girl, she refused.

When the final bell rang I ran to her locker, knocking people over and not really giving a flying fuck. Soon I saw her walking towards me with Alice and Jasper.

Alice was visualizing a movie and playing the words in her head. Jasper was drooling over the low cut sweater Alice was wearing.

"Jasper, seriously dude? Alice where are his balls?" Jasper gave me the finger and Alice laughed.

"I keep them in my purse. I only give them back when there needed," Bella looked horrified.

"Oh they know I can hear them. I guess I forgot to tell you that huh."

"Ya think," she said as she reached around my waist. I wrapped her in my arms for dear life.

"Were going on a nature walk this weekend wanna join us?" Alice asked.

"Shut the fuck up right now," Jasper pointed at me.

"Na we're good. Bella and I have some things we need to practice on," I said, gently kissing the top of her head again. Damn she looked good in my hat.

"I bet you do. How long has it been?" I all but growled at Jasper. Fuck I'm glad she can't hear him.

"You know there are something's we're gonna have to clear up about your thought process," I said giving him a serious look.

"Sure, meet you at your car, I don't have any smokes and I know you do. Later Bella," he said as he held Alice's hand and they walked away.

"Aww, he loves her, how sweet." Alice looked over her shoulder at us and I simply smiled. Pixie's starting to grow on me again.

After giving Jasper some smokes, waiting in the long line of cars to leave the parking lot, Bella and I finally made it to her house. There was a moving van in the yard with its back door open and ramp lowered to the front door.

I of course knew what was going on. I hated not telling Bella, but I also knew Charlie and Renee wanted it to be a surprise to Bella.

"What the fudge?" She hardly waited for me to park the car and she did her version of running to the door. I only stopped her once from tripping on a tree root. "Dad? What is going on? What are all these boxes?" I could hear the panic in her voice and I wrapped my hands around her waist from behind her and kissed her behind her ear. When I did, I swore my lips heated slightly. I did it again and nothing.

"Oh, hey Bella, umm well…" Charlie stumbled over his words.

"I'm moving in." Renee said from behind us.

BPOV

Shock. That is the only word that could explain my emotion. As soon as I turned and saw Edward smiling, fury built up inside me.

"You knew?" I poked him in the chest.

"Maybe," He answered with a smile. Any ounce of anger I might have felt fled with my heart at his smile. I smiled back and went to give Renee a hug.

Knowing she was not with Phil anymore, well, was more than a relief then I can express. But I simply couldn't understand how or why Charlie would take her back after all those years of resentment. I was happy for them, but this was something that I would have to get use to.

"You're okay with this right? Oh Charlie, we should have talked to her about this," Renee said as she let go of our embrace.

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess." I said in a confused state. Edward nudged my shoulder, "of course, yeah it's great. It's just a bit shocking really." I watched Charlie smile and Renee walk over to him. They grabbed hands and a queasy feeling rumbled in my stomach. "We're gonna go study," I grabbed Edward's hand and tripped/ran my way to my room.

"Oh my God Edward! Why didn't you tell me about this? That was like uber weird!" I dropped my backpack on the desk chair. Edward put his down in front of my door after he closed it quietly.

"They wanted to surprise you, and well, it's really the first time ever they've been able to. I didn't want to take that away from you. Surprises are good."

He was in front of me running his hands over my arms. As I walked back he stalked forward and I felt the bed behind me.

I sat down taking off his hat. I flinched slightly at the pain. I was healing quickly but my head was still tender. Edward placed his knee on the bed beside me and pushed me gently on to my back.

"You're beautiful you know that," he said, as he leaned down and ever so softly grazed his lips with mine. I closed my eyes enjoying the intimacy of him. Even without the spark, his touch was amazing.

I pushed my lips to his wanting more. My body had ached for him for so long. I wanted to feel the pressure of him on top of me. I wanted to feel the yearning sensation in my stomach. I wanted to feel him pressing against me. I ran my hand up the back of his shirt, pulling him toward me as he tried to sit back up.

I lifted his shirt off discarding it on the floor. My breath hitched at the sight of him. His pale skin was smooth, his muscles were lean and he had the tiniest bit of chest hair starting to cover his chest. I ran my hands over his bony shoulder blades and glided my hands to his messy hair. I gripped it firmly in my hands and forced him down to my lips.

We kissed with an urgency I had never felt before. His hands on either side of my head that held his weight off me, slowly moved to my face and down my neck. I moaned at the feeling of his weight on me. He started to move away and I gripped him tighter.

"I'm fine. Don't stop." I told him as I dragged my nails seductively over his sensitive back.

"I can't… if… li.." I couldn't understand him. His thoughts were cutting in and out and I only heard every other word. I pushed him off me and sat up so quickly it made my head dizzy.

"What did you say?" I asked with a smile on my face.

"I said I can't stop if you keep kissing me like that." My face beamed with delight.

"Edward, I didn't say 'stop' I said 'I'm fine, don't stop.'" Edward's finally understood what I was saying and he threw himself at me again kissing me everywhere.

"It's coming back!" he practically shouted when he was finished kissing my face and neck. I was laughing and smiling with my boyfriend. My boyfriend. Something I never thought I'd have. At this moment, I have never been so happy.

"You kids okay?" Charlie shouted up the stairs. Edward jumped off me at the sounds of the creaking stairs.

"Shit. Fuck. Come on shirt work with me." I sat up on my bed fixing my hair. The back pack in front of the door gave Edward just enough time to adjust his shirt to its normal fashion. I got up to move the backpack and Charlie opened the door looking around.

"What was that shouting about?" Charlie eyed Edward and me.

"I was just happy to hear that the Mariners are on a come back," Edward spoke up as he walked over to retrieve his backpack from me.

"Oh okay, well keep this door open," he said, and walked back down the stairs.

Edward and I fell onto the bed laughing.

"The Mariners? Do you know how much crap could have happen by mentioning sports to Charlie?" I asked resting my head on his chest.

"I do. But I heard Charlie thinking about the game tonight and so I kinda had inside information." He ever so gently ran his fingers through my hair. "Does it hurt badly still?"

"Not too much. You're fine. Wanna try something?" I looked up at him the best I could. I only had a good view of what was up his nostrils.

"With you- anything," he replied, along with a brief kiss on my head. My heart fluttered away with the butterflies in my stomach.

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