10. The Blame Game

Thank you all for (patiently) waiting for this chapter. I am pretty satisfied with it, but this will not be the last talk that the two 'boys' have ;)

He heard footsteps coming up from the basement stairs. Oliver was sitting at the Verdant bar, a a shot of whiskey on the table that he was still trying to decide whether to drink. It had been one of the long days, and his emotional stress only made it worse. He couldn't get the image out of his mind, the smoke, which fit all too well with his partners' name.

"I don't get it. I used to think that you just thought too much. You know, trying to make loose ends fit and all that. But I realize, your thought process has cobwebs weaved through it."

Oliver looked up at his bodyguard, the man with tense shoulders and a look that told him he was going to get a lecture.

"Do you even understand what happened tonight?" he slowly raised his voice.

"No. I don't." Oliver said simply. A laugh of hysteria bubbled up inside him. "I don't understand why Felicity went out there on her own. Like she felt she needed to 'prove her position' on this team?" he went on. "I remember when..." Oliver's hands pointed forward. "When I said we'd protect her. That if she could help us, I would do everything in my power to make sure she wasn't in harms way. I know things have changed since then, but it still doesn't excuse-"

"Your behavior?" Diggle finished. "Because that's absolutely right. Look, I know when Felicity signed on with our group that she wasn't going to be completely incapable of being in danger, but that doesn't mean that you can make her a second priority!" Oliver stared at the man in shock.

"Second priority?!" he stood from the bar. "The safety of my team is ALWAYS my first priority. You don't know how hard it is, to worry about someone getting hurt even though you were the one putting them in danger. Every person on this team could be in danger because of me. It's hard to cope with that, and then there's my mother..."

Diggle chuckled hastily. "Oh really? I don't know?" Oliver quickly tried to defend himself. "Digg, you know I didn't mean-"

"NO. I do know, Oliver. And don't you dare say our safety is 'first priority', because you and I both know it isn't true." Diggle walked right up to the vigilante.

"Man, I think I lost count keeping track of the times you ditched your 'alter-ego' occupation for a situation Laurel was in, or Sara,...Hell, even Helena for that matter." Oliver was about to say something, but Digg cut him off. Your priorities are so messed up, man. I know that you created this team, but now that we ARE a team, you can't make last-second decisions for yourself. Do you call leaving Felicity in an abandoned building to save a city giving her first priority?" Oliver retreated slightly. He knew the man was right. "It's not fair to this team, especially Felicity.

"I see how Felicity works her ass off making sure that you are safe when you go out on your missions as the vigilante. The way she tenses up and works herself harder when you are in danger. She makes sacrifices just like you and me, though, she never gets the credit for it. You seem to forget that she isn't like you and me. She hasn't SEEN what we have. You just expect that she will be okay with it because you've had to get over it time and time again. You don't see the toll it takes on her." John looks off, a memory stopping him short.

Digg's voice is softer now. "Oliver...you know she works with you day and night, at Queen Consolidated...the job she had to take, so that you are ready to go whenever duty calls, and the Vigilante...working herself restlessly through the next day just to make sure you make it home at the end of the night."

He looks up at Oliver. "Felicity is like a sister to me...and it HURTS me deeply every time she has to see what we have to do, and you still come back angry because something else is not going right in your life. Man seriously, she is the ONE right thing in your life right now that is normal, but yet, you still have her standing in your peripherals, missing everything she does for you."

"And something I'll never understand..." he adds, "Why she still calls you a hero at the end of the day. I believe in a sort-of Felicity way...she's stronger than both of us."

Oliver is silent for a moment. He turns away from Digg. "I know she is...I know she is stronger because she has faith in me that I don't even have in myself." he turns around, shaking his head. "How could she still call this thing that I am, a 'hero'? After all I've put her through...I can't fathom that."

"Believe me," Diggle replied. "I have no idea." He lays a hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Man, you really need to sort out your priorities. I know Felicity will forgive you, but after you ran out on her in that building, I don't know if I can."

Diggle starts heading for the door. "Where are you going?" Oliver asked.

"To get some take out for Felicity. It might also be a hint for you to talk to Felicity about why she felt she needed to prove something to YOU." And with that, Diggle left, the echo of the door closing making Oliver cringe.

Though it hurt him to the core, Oliver knew he deserved that. It made him sick to think that Felicity thought she had to prove herself to be on their team, when all along, she had been the center of it. Felicity was his rock. The part of his team that never questioned his actions, even when they were totally wrong. And he knew he took advantage of her trust. He still held his shot of whiskey and threw it off the counter angrily. Composing himself, he took a deep breath, and started down the stairs, slowly, trying to think of how to ask 'his girl' to forgive him for something that was seemingly unforgivable.

I know Oliver didn't get to say too much in this chapter, I needed Digg to point out what Felicity meant to him, and how much she was the 'core' of the team. I mean, he's the bodyguard/driver, not to mention the huge brother/sister relationship they developed during the time Oliver returned to the island. So he pretty much sees everything that Felicity does as well as Oliver. Let me know what you think...and you guys will have another chapter posted tomorrow :) P.S. I just HAD to add the 'His girl' part at the end. That will never get old!