***Disclaimer- I do not own Glee or its characters. I think RIB for creating them, but hate him for ruining them. He builds us up, just to let us down. Why, RIB? Why?
Chapter 10
Once the doors of the subway slid open in the dark New York station, Mercedes rushed to get a window seat and exhaled a deep breath. She was ready to go home and try to make some sense of the day she just had. She felt good about the lunch she had with Puck, feeling like she finally got through to his thick skull the reality of their relationship- that there wasn't one. But she hated the fact that she missed her afternoon call with Sam. She contemplated a thousand times to call him and explain her absence, but she couldn't. Her mega-sized pride wouldn't let her do it.
"Mercedes, you do know you are acting ridiculous, right?" Sugar's voice was annoyed and frustrated. Mercedes called her later that afternoon and told her about her lunchtime events. Sugar was also well aware of Mercedes and Sam's afternoon talks, because Mercedes was always on cloud nine even hours after the talks, sounding bright and cheery.
"Well are planning on calling him anytime today?"
"No."
"Are you serious, Mercedes? You're not even going to call and explain why you weren't there today?"
"Why do I have to do that?"
"Because you like him and want him to know that you like him."
"Sugar, I am not going to put myself out there for some guy that I don't even know?" Mercedes reasoned.
"Don't even know? Girl, are you ever talking about is the same guy you can't bend my ear enough of? The same guy that puts a thousand watt smile on your face every damn day? The same guy that you know his likes, his dislikes, his family, his friends, his job, his school."
"Alright, already." Mercedes interrupted. "Maybe I know I do know him a little. But Sugar, I am not going to play the fool again. Not for anyone. Not even Sam." There was a pause of silence.
"Mercedes, we are gonna need a "come to Jesus" talk." Mercedes groaned. A "come to Jesus" talk was code between the friends for a real truth, no hold bars conversation about something.
"Do we have to?"
"Yes, sistah. We really need to have it." Mercedes took a breath.
"Okay, give it to me."
"Mercedes…Sam is not Shane." Sugar answered quietly. Mercedes sat sit, not uttering a sound.
"Did you hear what I just said?"
"Yes." Mercedes replied in a whisper.
"Shane took all the things you shared with him and twisted them to hurt you. But that's not Sam. And you can't keep punishing and treating him like he is Shane."
A tear slid down Mercedes eye as she pressed her phone against her face. She had shared with Sugar the chaotic nature of her relationship with Shane. She dated Shane in highschool, when he was an all-star football player. He was being recruited left and right and the big man on campus at her school. She had just ended a relationship with her first boyfriend in Matt Rutherford and was thrilled that Shane was even pursuing her. He was so gentle and sweet with her that she shared all of her fears, dreams and feeling with him. She trusted him completely. But when Mercedes made the mistake of kissing Matt during her relationship with Shane, everything had changed.
Although she explained to Shane that the kiss was a sign of closure between the two, Shane saw it as the ultimate betrayal and vowed never to forgive her. He then used every fear and insecurity she shared with him to belittle and humiliate her in front of his teammates and the school. He spread rumors that he was only with her as a pity date and that she begged him to stay with her. He made sure to sure that she felt unwelcome in every assembly during her senior year by making rude and unkind comments. He only stopped once her father called his father and threatened to break every bone in his body.
After that debacle, Mercedes changed from emotionally available Mercedes to Diva Mercedes. Diva Mercedes was fierce. She walked fierced, talked fierced, and always had a sassy response for anyone. She never showed fear, never showed terror. She was walked with attitude and talked with attitude, whether it was real or not didn't matter. What mattered is that she never appeared weak. She had no intention of breaking that now.
"Sugar, I know you are trying to help, but I can handle this." She replied to her friend, wiping away the tears skating down her cheek.
"Really? Then why are pushing the best thing that has happened to you in years away?" Sugar knew she needed to calm herself down, because she could feel herself losing her temper and that was not what she wanted. She wanted her friend to be happy.
"Mercedes," Sugar's voice was calm and quieter. "Do me a favor? Just pray on it tonight. You need to push the divaness aside and really look into your heart. Because if you don't, you are going to find that the love you truly deserve will have passed you by."
Mercedes promised her friend that she would pray on it and found herself meditating on it all day. Noticing that her stop was coming up, she stood up to go to the door and noticed a sign above the door.
"What is fear keeping you from today?"
Mercedes felt like God was trying to slap her over the head. She knew Sugar was right about her insecurities and fears. She needed to pray and really decide what she felt and wanted. By the time, Mercedes exited the train and was walking home, she made a decision.
I'm going to pray first. Then I'll call him. I just need a glass of wine next to me to steady my nerves.
Mercedes was anxious to get into her house and hurried down the street. She stopped when she saw the figure sitting outside of her apartment building. Sam. She slowly walked toward him, shocked and surprised.
When Sam saw Mercedes approach him, he stood up. He debated with himself all afternoon about what he should do after he left the restaurant. There was a guitar strap wrapped around his torso, with the guitar against his back. His eyes were serious as he looked at her intensely. Mercedes was scared but also incredibly turned on at the same time.
"Hi Mercy." He said sweetly, his hands digging into his pants pocket.
"Hi Sam. I didn't expect to see you today." Sam reached out and took her hand into his.
"Yeah, I know we didn't plan this either, but I needed to see you today." Mercedes nodded slowly.
"Okay, well do you want to come inside then?"
"That would be great." Mercedes led Sam into the building and to her apartment. After they both entered it, she sat down on the couch and motioned for him to take a seat. He shook his head no. Before she could say a word, Sam began to speak.
"I saw you this afternoon today Mercy." Mercedes lifted her eyebrows.
"Really, where?"
"At the restaurant across from your office. You were there with Puck." He said calmly never taking his eyes off of Mercedes. Mercedes sifted in her chair uncomfortably.
Oh shit. What should I say? Should I be angry? Should I apologize, She thought. Sam could see her busy in her thoughts and lifted his hands and waved for her to stop.
"No wait. I don't care about that lunch. In fact, I don't really give a damn what you guys talked about, actually." Mercedes was taken aback. Sam ran his fingers through his hair and grasped them together in front of him.
"Mercy, I don't care about that lunch, because I don't intend on giving you up to Puck, or anybody else. So I could give two shits about what he said to you, because I don't intend to stop pursuing you until you are mine." Sam's eyes were steely gazing into Mercedes' eyes. Mercedes was speechless. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and tears threatened to cascade her face. Sam walked up to Mercedes and bent down in front of her. He cupped her cheek with his hand.
"I want to be with you Mercedes Yvonne Jones and I need you to know that. I will tell that to anybody that tries to stop what it going on between us, because I want it that badly. I will fight the entire New York Giants line up to be with you. I am not playing any games with you and I am not backing down to anyone. I did that once and I will be damned if I do it again. I am fighting for you until I have your heart." Sam caressed her cheek with his thumb. Then he stood up and twisted his guitar around his body and began playing a melody. His eyes remained fixed on Mercedes', who was staring intently at him.
Let me tell you a secret
Put it in your heart and then keep it
Something that I want you to know
Do something for me
Listen to my simple story
And maybe we'll have something to show
You tell me you're cold on the inside
How can the outside world
Be a place that your heart can embrace
Be good to yourself
Because nobody else
Has the power to make you happy
How can I help you
Please let me try to
I can heal the pain
That you're feeling inside
Whenever you want me
You know that I will be
Waiting for the day
That you say you'll be mine
He must have really hurt you
To make you say the things that you do
He must have really hurt you
To make those pretty eyes look so blue
He must have known
That he could
That you'd never leave him
Now you can't see my love is good
And that I'm not him
How can I help you
Please let me try to
I can heal the pain
Won't you let me inside
Whenever you want me
You know that I will be
Waiting for the day
That you say you'll be mine
Won't you let me in
Let this love begin
Won't you show me your heart now
I'll be good to you
I can make this thing true
Show me that heart right now
Who needs a lover
That can't be a friend
Something tells me I'm the one you've been looking for
If you ever should see him again
Won't you tell him you've found someone who gives you more
Someone who will protect you
Love and respect you
All those things
That he never could bring to you
Like I do
Or rather I would
Won't you show me your heart
Like you should
How can I help you
Please let me try to
I can heal the pain
That you're feeling inside
Whenever you want me
You know that I will be
Waiting for the day
That you say you'll be mine
Won't you let me in
Let this love begin
Won't you show me your heart now
I'll be good to you
I can make this thing true
And get to your heart somehow
When he finished the song, tears covered Mercedes' face. She was overwhelmed by the song and Sam's speech. She couldn't even contemplate how to speak. Sam slowly walked up to her and gently pulled her towards him. He cupped her face in his hands and brought her forehead to his.
"Let me heal your pain, Mercy. Let me inside of your heart." He whispered, feeling her tremble in his own trembling hands. He gently brought his lips to hers and pressed against her, wanting all the passion he felt to be transferred to her.
***In case you are wondering, the song Sam sang was George Michael's "Heal The Pain". So what do you think? Sam decided to put his heart out there. Did he do a good job? Let me know what you think, people? Review, please! Tootles, xoxo