Hello ,I'm alive ^^ I know it spend a while since I upload the last chapter , very sorry but sometimes my imagination is kind of stuck! anyway thanks to my amazing beta and to you guys my amazing readers !

Ok I'll stop now this is ...

Chapter 8

Enjoy

11th, October

One week left and I'll have to go back to school again. It would be a big lie if I say I'm excited. I never liked school, not because I didn't like to study; it's just that I have no friends. It would be better if I stayed at home, to be homeschooled, but my parents don't like the idea at all.

My brother gave me this notebook when he noticed I wasn't feeling okay lately .

He said that writing what I feel would make me feel better. I don't think he is right but I'll try, got nothing to lose. I won't use it as a diary; I'll just write my story.

...

I was a happy kid. A happy, but very shy kid. I've never really liked being the center of attention. Talking in front of a lot of people still scares the crap out of me. My confidence has never been that high either and I remember looking in the mirror and thinking I looked fat at the age of five. Anyhow, as I said, I was a happy kid. Everything was perfectly fine up until I reached the 4th grade. In matter of hours, I went from being a happy kid; to a depressed, suicidal one. Everything went downhill.

I think it was the weekend before my tenth birthday, that I had had an argument with my parents. I don't remember what had happened but I do remember sitting on the kitchen floor crying, whilst mom was on the phone with her best friends. You see, my bestie and I used to take horse back riding lessons together. So, mom was on the phone with my bestie's mom for whatever reason I can't remember, and I was sitting on the kitchen floor crying. I remember begging her not to have to go to the next lesson, since it was going to be on my birthday. After about two entire hours of crying and begging my mom, without any result at all, I decided that I didn't want to go to school anymore. I remember telling my parents right away but as any other parent would do, they didn't take it seriously. I mean, who would? And that is basically how it all started. Nothing dramatic, nothing tragic as others might think. Just a simple decision.

From that day on I refused to go to school. Every single day my parents tried to take me to school and every single day I refused.

It went from being a nice little child to what I think, a kind of rebellious one. Whatever. I became a daily struggle to the whole family and hated myself for it. In a matter of weeks I couldn't even be at my grandparents' house without mom or dad. I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to do anything. I cried every day. I was away from school for over a month. The times I stood in my kitchen with a knife pushed against my throat are countless.

So, after a while I was forced to go to these meetings where you had to talk to this person, a psychiatrist, about why you felt like you did and stuff. I hated it. I didn't want to go there; I didn't want to talk to anybody, so why would I want to talk to this random person? While this shrink asked me questions about how I felt about the things I did, I faced the wall and refused to talk. I kept a pokerface throughout all these meetings.

My parents decided to enroll me in a new school. I didn't argued ...I didn't care.

My first day at school was horrible. Everyone hated me because I was rich. They didn't even know me and they hated me.

But this school had good things, like the English teacher; Miss Heather. She is awesome, she doesn't ask a lot of questions, that's what I like about her.

Anyway after about a month in this school a girl named Amy Christina was making people sign on a paper, at first I thought it was for a study group or something. When I saw a lot of my classmates signing, I walked to her, she was happy when she saw me coming, but not in a good way I could tell. When I asked about the paper she didn't answer she showed it to me, saying: "Anyone who wants the horrible Beth Cullen out this school, please, sign over here."

I wasn't really surprised when I saw about twenty or thirty names signed on the list.

I looked back at Amy, she was smiling. Okay, you can dislike me you can hate me, but don't you have a heart? I thought. I felt so sad and upset that I couldn't ask her a question I couldn't even open my mouth, I just went back to my class, took my backpack and got out of school. "This stupid school doesn't even notice when a kid leaves school." I said to myself.

That was the first time he talked to me. I knew him, but I think he never cared enough to talk to me. He came to me and said: "Look I won't say anything to your parents about ditching school if you help me, okay?" Then, he took me to his house. I wasn't afraid, I knew him ... or I thought I did.

Since it happened I can't even say his name, but I'm stronger now. I can say it, write it and shout it if I want.

BOOM

I jumped from the bed then fell to the floor after hearing the Boom on my window. What the hell was that?!

BOOM

I turned towards the bay window, and saw the monster. He was here outside waiting for me and throwing rocks to my window!

He found me, and he was going to take me away with him to my old fucking life.

I can't give up, not now! That monster killed my baby and almost killed me. I have a life now, with new friends. I didn't want to return to him.

I wasn't going to give up, but I wasn't going to fight with him. He was going to kill me if we did.

I ran to Carlisle's flat. I didn't have to knock, the door was already open.

"Carlisle?" I called him while I ran to his bedroom "Carl.." I didn't even finished calling his name again, when my body hit something. I almost fell on the floor for the second time that morning.

"You are hot." A man's voice said.

I opened my eyes. It had stumbled upon Logan. I followed his gaze and noticed that he was looking at the skin that my unbuttoned shirt showed.

"What a perv." I said with disgust, buttoning my shirt. "Where is Carlisle anyway?"

"In his bedroom." He answered with his freaky smile.

"You're a creep, you know that?" I said to him while I walked to Carlisle's bedroom.

I opened the door without knocking. Carlisle was in his bed. I couldn't see him because his quilt was covering his body, even his head.

"Can you breathe under that?" I asked, forgetting the reason why I was there in the first place.

He removed the quilt from his face and looked at me, his hair was a mess. Damn he is gorgeous!

"Oh, it was you! Why were you screaming like that? Did someone die?" He asked with a sleepy voice, ignoring my question."

"Yes, it was me. Well, not yet but I'll die if you don't come to help me right now. Charles is here and he wants to… " I stopped to take breath. "Well I don't know why he is here, but I'm sure he didn't just come to say hello" I said.

"Charles who?" He asked, confused .

"Charles Evenson, my Ex"

We stood there for a couple of minutes looking at each other. Carlisle looked angry.

"You can't go back to him. I won't let him take you, Esme." He said.

"That's why I'm here, I don't want to go, but I can't fight him alone."

Carlisle didn't say anything else. He just jumped out of the bed and walked to the door. I went right behind him. As we walked, I noticed that the 'creepy' wasn't here anymore.

"Where is Logan?" I asked .

"No idea, maybe he went to smoke or something."

As soon as we reached the street, I realized I was terrfied.

Carlisle POV

At the second he saw me and Esme walking towards him, he started to scream.

"Oh, this is the guy? Is this why you left me like shit, Esme?!"

I looked at Esme. She didn't look like she was going to say anything, so I did.

"What are you talking about? Look, you have done enough. Go home. Esme has a new life now." I said.

"With you?" Charles wasn't truly asking. He was taking it for sure.

"What?"

"She started a new life with you? " Charles wasn't looking at me when he was talking, he was looking at her. "Ha! Esme you killed our son, then you left me so you could live with this blondie?"

Then I interrupted his insolence. "Can you hear yourself? You're a bastard! After all you've done to her, you dare to come here like nothing had happened, and you accuse her of the shit you did? What do you want anyway? Why are you even here?"

Charles didn't look at me .

"Esme, baby I want you back. Please come back."

I turned to face Esme, she was looking at him in awe. His words sounded to her like a stupid joke. She didn't say anything.

"She is not going anywhere with you." I said. "Now, please, go or we're going to call the police."

"Maybe she is not coming with me, but now that I know where you are, I'm sure your parents are going to be glad to know you are okay. Maybe they'll come to visit you."

"I won't go back, even if my parents come here. I'm not going back." She said "You can tell them that I really don't want to see them, they screwed my life enough!" She looked at me then added. "Come on Carlisle, let's go back."

We started walking back to our building, but she stopped and looked at Charles.

"If you don't leave, I'm really going to call the police. Got it?"

Charles was so surprised by Esme's reaction, that his mouth dropped open. Apparently, Esme had never talked to him like that.

Esme POV

I went back to my flat after thanking Carlisle. I was really grateful to have him as a friend.

Speaking of friend I had to talk to Heather. I had to tell her that knew about the baby, that I knew that she's pregnant. I went to my living room, picked up the phone, and called her. She didn't answer, maybe she was sleeping.

I went back to my bedroom, leaned against the door frame with my arms folded across my chest. The room was in desperate need of cleaning, there were clothes everywhere; on the floor, on the bed and there were books piled up on the floor that had arrived yesterday. I didn't have the time to take them to the library. I started cleaning up, when I was finally over, I noticed that Beth's book wasn't in my room anymore.

"No, no, no!" I started to panic. "It was just here on the bed. I saw it when..." I tried to remember when was the last time I saw the book.

When you went down to see the Charles! The voice in my head spoke.

"Yes maybe…maybe I put it in the box with the other books from the library." I started searching, but the book was nowhere to be found, not on my bed not with the other books. Nowhere.

Someone took it.

"Who?" I screamed to my head "No one has been here except me"

When you went down the street, you left the door open!

I was so desperate that I searched in the whole flat. I was on my way to phone Heather when I noticed a small, folded paper on the sofa. I opened it, the words inside were typed in big black letters.

Stop investigating about Beth and Lizzy's deaths or you're going to regret it.

The memory of the guy who attacked me a long time ago returned to my mind. Holy shit, maybe Lizzy didn't committed suicide, maybe someone killed her. I thought that the guy who may have killed her was the same guy who attacked me, and the same guy who took the book. I was sure now that Beth's disappearance and Lizzy's weird death were connected.

It was all written in the book. Beth was unhappy and she met someone, maybe that someone was the one who kidnapped her, and it had to be someone that she knew very well. Poor child. Probably Lizzy knew all about it, that's why he or she -Because I wasn't sure it was a heyet- killed Lizzy !

I was sure Lizzy hadn't committed suicide. She was a doctor who was about to get married. She was very happy. I'm so damn sure that she would have never thought about killing herself.

Neither the note, or the attack were going to scare me. I was determined to find out what happened to them, but from now on I was going to be more careful, very careful.

I had to tell Heather.

This is it for this time ,so guys if you have any question or recommendations don't hesitate and hit the button review .

See you soon !

Bye !