CHAPTER TEN
It had been precisely two hours since Dedede had decided to try liposuction. Unfortunately for him, when Knuckle Joe, the kid, Meta Knight, Tiff and Tuff met up with Kirby and Dedede to perform the operation, it…well…it didn't go right.
"Now, do you two know what liposuction IS?" Knuckle Joe asked.
"I do." Dedede said.
"I don't."
"Basically they cut your stomach open and-" Meta Knight began.
"STOP-STOP-STOP!" Kirby yelled, putting his arms over his head, trying to cover the part of his body that heard things. "No more, no more!!!"
"…okay, it IS a gross subject." Knuckle Joe admitted. "Now then…bring it out, guys."
Tiff and Tuff held up a huge bungee cord and promptly tied Dedede up hard in a huge knot. Dedede's blue face was now turning purple.
"What ARE you doing?" Kirby asked. The kid looked horrified too.
"Well, we couldn't find a surgeon, so we had to resort to this." Knuckle Joe said. "Once the air goes out of his lungs and he starts starving, substantial weight loss should-"
The kid ripped the cord off. "No, no, NO. We are NOT starving them!" He told them.
"Well then, we'll just do the other thing. We'll suck the fat out." Meta Knight said.
The kid rubbed his chin. "Well, I guess that works better…"
"Wait, SUCK?" Dedede panted.
"Yep. From the buttocks." Meta Knight said, pulling out the front end of a vacuum and approaching the shivering Dedede, holding the other end of the vacuum in his hands.
"Uh…actually, I…I reckon I'll just drink lotsa "Tab"…"
"Bend over." Meta Knight said.
FIVE MINUTES LATER…
"AAAAA!!!" Dedede screamed as he clung desperately near the top of a pillar in the dining room, the vacuum's end sucking in his foot.
"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS HOW THE SURGEON GENERAL SAID IT'S DONE?!?" Tuff yelled as he tried to pull the vacuum off of Dedede's foot with Meta Knight and Tiff.
The kid slapped his forehead. "…this isn't working. We're going to have to-hey…where did Kirby go?"
Where else? Kirby had snuck off back to the kitchen so that he could pig out on its contents…not the fridge's, not this time. This time he would go to the cupboards! There had to be some snacks in there, he figured.
However, when he opened the kitchen door…
"Oh PLEASE, no!" Kirby moaned horribly at the sight of the white and red-suited being in front of him. Always smiling, wearing elf-like shoes, with a long cap that had a golden bell on the end, was none other than that annoying bomb expert…
"Ph34r teh me!" Poppy Bros Senior laughed happily.
"Why did the king and the others hafta hire you dunder-heads?" Kirby moaned. "Didn't you die?"
"I got better!" Poppy Bros Senor laughed, in that same super-happy tone.
"You're so mean!"
"You know, melting me down to nothing with Nitroglycerin wasn't very nice either." Poppy Bros said, no longer speaking in a delighted tone. "THAT HURT."
Kirby was suddenly very afraid. "Uh, can we…er…put it behind us and stuff?"
"Sure…after I've blown you up." Poppy Bros Senior said cheerfully. "First I'll catch you. Then I'll stuff this dynamite I've got into your nostrils, then I'll-"
Kirby was off and running. Poppy Senior was right behind him, still cheerful and laughing.
"Stop making this difficuuuuulllt!" He called out, laughing madly.
"Poyoooooo!" Kirby screamed, running for the nearest door. He yanked it open…the courtyard! Crud! But he couldn't go back. If he could somehow clear the courtyard's brick wall that surrounded it…
He bolted for the wall…
But a well-thrown bomb said "NO". It exploded in front of the wall, bouncing off his head. He hit the ground, groaning in pain. Poppy Senior ambled over, tossing dynamite up and down. "You knew this was comin'!" He said happily.
"Kirby, get up!" A voice shouted.
Kirby stood up and turned in the direction of the voice, as did Poppy Senior…the kid! It was the kid! And everyone else too, they were all watching from a balcony above.
"You can beat him! Are you a star warrior or a wimp?" He yelled out to Kirby.
"We believe in you!" Tiff said.
"All of us!" Tuff added.
"Kick his can, Kirby!" Knuckle Joe said.
"You'd better not lose to nobody but ME!" Dedede insisted.
"The feeling is mutual." Meta Knight agreed.
Kirby nodded. He took up a fighting pose. "Come and get me, Poppy!"
"Okey dokey!" Poppy Senior said, throwing another bomb…
Which Kirby sucked up. WOOSH!
He jumped in the air, spinning around. A small cap appeared on his head, like Poppy Bros Senior, only blue and white instead of red and white. The bell jingled as Kirby summoned up a bomb in midair, grinning. He was now Bomb Kirby!
"Let's do this!" Kirby shouted.
"BOMBS away!" Poppy Senior wise-cracked. He held out both hands and at least a dozen mini-bombs appeared in each. He began tossing them rapidly at Kirby, who leapt back over and over. "You can't dodge forever!" Poppy Senior taunted.
True, Kirby thought. But I don't need to.
Poppy Senior soon ran out of bombs. He raised hands again to form more…PA-POOF! Kirby summoned his own, and threw it right at Poppy Senior's face. It hit him in the cheek…
KABLOOOEY!
He hit the ground, smoke rising from his face. "That hurt!" Poppy Senior complained in a not-so-cheerful fashion. "But I've got more where THAT came from!" He laughed, jumping up and raising his hands.
Kirby knew what he was about to do. He bolted for the side just Poppy Senior tossed a huge stick of dynamite at him. He barely made it away in time though, because the shockwave sent him flying up through the air, landing on his butt. "Owie!" Kirby complained, rubbing it.
"Come on, Kirby!" Tiff yelled. "You can beat him! He's just a bomb user!"
"JUST!?!" Poppy Senior looked offended. "I will have you know I also have ph34r powers!"
"What's that?" The kid asked. Tiff and Tuff looked confused too.
"Ph34r me!" Poppy Senior yelled.
Suddenly all of them shrieked and hid behind Dedede's huge frame. Also frightened, HE hid behind Meta Knight, who groaned as if to say "These guys are hopeless".
But Poppy Senior didn't turn in time to see the SECOND bomb that hit him in the gut.
KABLOOEY!
It made him fall to the ground, groaning horribly. "THAT…IS…ENOUGH…" He groaned, getting up. He closed his eyes and a ticking time bomb appeared. "Once this sticks to you, you're finished, Kirby!" Poppy Senior snickered, throwing the bomb.
Kirby saw it whiz towards him…
He whipped out a bomb…
And WHACKED the time bomb right at Poppy Senior. It whizzed through the air and stuck to Poppy Senior's butt as he turned to run.
"…this isn't funny." Poppy Senior said in a deadpan tone as the timer counted down to 0.
BA-BOOOOM!
And he went flying through the air, landing on the other end of the castle. The others all cheered. "Go Kirby, go Kirby!" "Awesome!" "You did it!" "Amazing!" "…not bad, I reckon." "You did well."
Kirby's ability faded away as he did his little victory dance, sliding along on the ground, cartwheeling, shaking his butt before finally ending with a punch to the air. "Poyo!" He shouted victoriously. "I did it!"