Wow, this is embarrassing. I can't believe that I went this long without updating. I've never claimed to be always on it when it comes to updates, but I'm usually much better than this. And I'm not a fan of excuses, cuz they're like butts; Everyone has one, and they all stink, but I'm gonna give you one anyways. I have had this chapter in the works for several months (since I posted the last one) but I have also gotten into a relationship, which is taking up damn near all of my free time. Now, I love my girlfriend very much, but I also love you guys, so I'm going to work on balance between her and you all ;) I promise.
I hope that you enjoy this horribly late chapter. Even though it took a long time, I worked hard on it because I want to deliver great enjoyable work for you all to read.
Please let me know what you all think, and as always ENJOY!
Marriage, it's a tricky thing. You vow to spend your life with someone, through thick and thin, good times and bad. You claim to always love and cherish them, but its not always easy. You have good moments, and they're great while they're happening. But you also have bad moments, and they can seem really bad while you're in them. How you work it out and get through it is the true test of a strong marriage. Not everyone has what it takes, but that doesn't mean it happens to everyone.
Beacon Hill 8:58 pm - May
"I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this." I call after my wife as she storms into our bedroom. I have to catch the door as she shuts it behind her. She walks straight towards our closet and starts rifling through my clothes.
"That's part of the problem Lucas, you never know what it is I'm talking about. You think everything is just fine all of the time and that any responsibility you have ends before you step foot inside this house!" Emily yells back at me, all while still rifling through my clothes. I don't really want to think about what it is she's doing, so instead I head towards her slowly and try to figure out why exactly she's mad.
"What is that even supposed to mean?" I ask her as I get closer. She momentarily stops what she's doing and glares at me, before shaking her head.
"Dammit Lucas, I don't want to have to spell it out for you." I don't respond, instead I just look at her expectantly. She groans out and then starts gesturing wildly with her hands as she begins to speak.
"I had a life Lucas, I had a job that I loved and a man at home who supported me. When we decided to have kids we talked about me putting my career on hold temporarily so that I could have your babies. That was over over 6 years ago! But I'm still at home, cooking and cleaning and watching our children. I've become a housewife, which is exactly what I didn't want to happen!" She exclaims exasperatedly.
"I love you Lucas, and I love our children, more than my own life. But that's the thing, I don't have a life anymore. I'm always stuck in this house cleaning up after you and the kids. And you seem completely content to just let things continue on like they are. You hardly ever offer to cook, you don't clean and on the days you have off, you barely watch the children."
"I'm always working! I work my ass off so we have a roof over our heads and food on the table!" I yell, suddenly angry that she's calling me out the way she is.
"Why does it only have to be you who does that?!" Em yells right back, getting closer to me in the process. "I have a degree, I have working experience, I can help bring in money and food, I'm just as capable as you!" She exclaims, her arms flying around her wildly.
"You agreed to be a mother, you said you wanted children you could raise and be here for!" As long as she's yelling, I sure as hell am going to too.
"Oh so that's all I'm good for now? Just open my legs and let you impregnate me, then stay at home and watch your spawn while you go off and have a life?" She's using her mocking tone, which just serves to piss me off.
"That's bullshit and you know it. And how dare you call our children spawn!" I raise my voice higher, if at all possible, this argument serving to really piss me off.
"You know that's not what I meant. I feel used Lucas, I feel oppressed and my problem with it is that you don't even seem to notice. You grew up with two independent women who worked and shared the responsibility of raising their family. I would have thought that would have influenced you better.
"Oh here we go, bring up the gay moms why don't you!" Now it's my turn to gesture wildly with my hands. I spin around and slowly walk back towards the door, thinking about what I want to say next. Em doesn't give me the opportunity to speak however.
"I am not your maid Lucas, I am not your personal chef, and I am not your nanny. I am your wife, your equal, and you damn well better start acting like it!"
"I do!" I practically screech out as I whip around to face her again.
"I respect you Emily! You are the mother of my children and the woman I love more than anything! I thought I'd been doing a damn fine job of showing you that. You told me you wanted to have kids and be here to take care of them. If I had known for one second that you were unhappy I would have helped in any way I could have to make you happy again. But I'm not a damn mind reader woman! You have to tell me when something is wrong!" I exclaim loudly back at her.
"I shouldn't have to tell you! You should know me well enough to know when I'm not happy!"
"Ugh!" I growl out in frustration, turning around once more so I don't have to meet her gaze. My hand comes up and starts rubbing my forehead, as I feel a headache starting to develop.
"I think you should spend the night at Lloyd's house tonight." Em says after a moment of silence, her tone soft and defeated. I turn back around at her and meet her gaze, seeing pain in her beautiful blue eyes. Pain that I have caused, which only serves to worsen my mood. I don't want her to kick me out, but I also don't want to keep fighting with her.
"That's not fair, you can't kick me out of my own house."
"Well I don't want you here right now Lucas. If you don't want to go to Lloyd's house, then go somewhere else. We can talk tomorrow." She says, moving once again towards our closet, no doubt intent upon packing some clothes for me. For some reason seeing her do this suddenly makes me really mad, and before I can stop myself I yell out at her.
"No!" She jumps at my loud tone and whips back around to look at me. As soon as she does I rush towards her and grab her face, smashing my lips against hers. She struggles against me, trying to pull her face away from mine. After a few seconds of her not kissing me back I pull away, and I only have but a second to register her raising her hand before she smacks me right across the face. I cringe back in pain at the slap and instantly Emily rushes to the bathroom and slams the door shut. It takes me a moment to register what happened, and then I am making my way to the bathroom door. I try the handle but it's locked, so instead I decide to pound on the door and yell out to my wife.
"Unlock the door Em!"
"Go away Lucas, just go" Em says from the other side, her tone sounding broken and defeated.
"No! I'm not going anywhere. Let me in!"
"Go away!" She yells, and then the sound of her sobs breaks through to me, like the wind is suddenly taken straight from my lungs. I move back from the door a couple steps and silently listen to her crying. I feel guilty and stupid for letting our argument get this far. I stay put for several minutes, saying nothing, but eventually resign myself to my fate. I slowly go to our closet and gather some of my clothes, stuffing them into a small duffle bag, then head back out into our room. I contemplate saying something to Emily, but decide it's probably not the best idea, so after checking that I have everything that I need, I head out of our bedroom door and down the hall to my son's room.
I peak inside and see little Liam asleep in his crib and a bittersweet smile falls upon my face. He looks so peaceful, so unaware that his parents are fighting, and that his dad is getting kicked out of the house. As quietly as I can, I make my way over to his crib and lean over the edge. I reach my hand in and pat his back softly, taking comfort in the feel of him beneath my hand. I stay for a few moments, just staring at my son, before I quietly make my retreat. Next I head to Sophie's room, and peak in on her. Her room is illuminated by a soft red glow from the Red Sox night light on the wall, courtesy of my ma. My beautiful daughter is fast asleep on her bed, laying on her back with her limbs spread out wide. I chuckle softly to myself at the way she loves to sleep, then slowly make my way to her. Much like I did with Liam, I reach out and pat her back softly, but this time I lean down and give her a small kiss on her forehead.
"Goodnight princess, I love you." I whisper to her.
"Love you too daddy." She mumbles back in her sleepy haze, turning her head around and falling right back to sleep.
Reluctantly, I leave her room and head out towards the front room. Sadly, my wife hasn't made an appearance, so I know that things aren't changing tonight and I must leave the house. I really don't know where I'm going to go. My parents house is a little too far away, plus I don't want to bother them at this time of night. I really don't want to go to my friend Lloyd's house. Despite what Em thinks, we really aren't that good of friends. We play golf together on occasion, but I don't even really like the sport so I don't have fun when we go. I could call my brother, but then I'd have to deal with Mia and I really don't want to do that.
I sigh as I realize my only option is to head to the firm and sleep on the couch that I have in my office. And that means that I'll have to get up early enough so that nobody realizes I slept there.
With one last look at my living room, I sigh out again and close the door, locking it behind me, and head to my car. The drive to the firm is quiet, which gives me time to think. I reflect back on our fight, and how ridiculous it was. I understand where Emily is coming from, but I don't understand why it suddenly just had to blow up when I got home. One minute she seemed fine, and the next she was arguing with me and getting more frustrated by the minute. We usually don't let stuff like this get to us as much, and she's certainly never kicked me out of the house before. We've had this unspoken rule that we don't go to bed angry, and we've always managed to work in out before bed. This was actually inspired by my parents, as they had developed that in their relationship when I was growing up. I remember this one time they were fighting about money or something. They had been basically yelling at each other after dinner one night, I think I was like 14 or something. I remember trying to keep Bella and Simon occupied so they wouldn't pay attention to our moms. It went on until bedtime, where they stopped fighting long enough to get us all off to bed. I fell asleep that night worried about my parents relationship, which a 14 year old kid should never have to do.
***Flashback*** - About 16 years ago...
Waking up, I stretch my body to get out all the sleep kinks. I lay in bed for a moment while my mind starts to wake up, and once it does I remember the events of last night, my parents fighting almost the worst that they ever have. I instantly start to worry that my ma might not even be here, and that mom is super upset about it. That's usually how it goes when my parents fight. Ma leaves the house and mom stays in her room crying. And it always makes me sad to see her sad.
I'm also worried about getting to my study group meeting on time. I am part of a group of kids who meet every Saturday to study and help each other with our current assignments. This week is my turn to be in charge and bring the snacks. Mom promised me that she'd take me, and last night before her and ma got into a fight, she helped me make cookies to bring. I've been looking forward to this day all week, and I really hope that this doesn't get forgotten about or put aside because of them fighting.
I know I should get up and go check on her, seeing as I'm the man of the house, the one who needs to make sure mom's okay when ma's not here. I sigh as I get up, not happy about the way this weekend is turning out, and make my way over to my dresser. I pull out a black t-shirt and slip it on before heading towards my parents room. I see that the door is cracked open slightly, and I can see my mom sleeping on her bed. I slowly open up the door and begin to creep towards the bed. As I get to the side of the bed, I see first, that my mom has a happy smile on her face, and two, that she has an arm wrapped around her waist. I instantly recognize the scar in the middle of the palm as my ma's, and a smile of my own falls onto my face. They must have made up last night before going to bed, which makes me super happy. I never like it when my parents fight, because I hate seeing either of my mothers sad.
I start to turn my body to head back out the door when I hear my name mumbled out sleepily.
"Lucas?" I hear my ma's gravely voice ask me, so I turn back around to face her. She's looking up at me over mom's body, her eyes squinting slightly in her barely awake state.
"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure that mom way okay. You know, cuz you guys were fighting last night." I tell her, and she instantly looks guilty.
"It makes me happy that you care about your mother like that bud, but she's okay. We're okay." Ma emphasizes the last part so I know they are okay. I nod my head at her in acknowledgement, and then give her a smile before heading back out the door and downstairs to get me a bowl of cereal.
***End Flashback***
From that moment on, I noticed that my parents always made up before bed when they fought. Later on in life I asked my ma about it, and she said that they decided they never wanted to go to bed angry, that their love for each other was too strong, and that they shouldn't let any sort of fight eat at it. After hearing that, I decided that I wanted to implement that into my marriage, not really understanding just how hard that could be at times. Like right now for instance. Em wants me out, and I really don't want to argue anymore, but I also really don't want to leave. I know we need to talk and work this out, and I don't want to wait until tomorrow to do that.
My decision suddenly made, I flip my car around at the next available safe place, and head back home as quickly and legally as I can. Luck is actually on my side as I catch every green light, and make it home in record time. All of the lights are off when I pull into the driveway, but I know that Emily isn't asleep yet. I park my car in the garage and quickly head into the house, not bothering to grab my bag, as I'll just get it in the morning.
I take the stairs two at a time, and silently give thanks for the faint light I see coming out from under our bedroom door. I don't even bother knocking, I just twist the nob and let the door swing wide by itself. I see Emily sitting up in bed, an empty box of tissues on the bedside table, and a scattering of crumpled up tissues all over the bed. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, as is her nose, and the sight breaks my heart. This is all my fault and I feel immense guilt for it.
She looks up at me in surprise, clearly not expecting me to come back.
"Lucas?"
I don't even bother answering her, instead I just stride across the room and lean down to pull her into my arms. She instantly clings to me, and I feel her body shake as she starts to cry once more.
"I'm so sorry baby, I never meant for you to feel like a house wife." I mumble against her neck, and then feel her shake her head against mine.
"No, I shouldn't have overreacted." I hear her mumble back to me. This causes me to pull back from our hug and take her face into my hands. I pause for a moment, just looking into her beautiful blue eyes, wanting to make sure that I have her undivided attention.
"No, you didn't overreact. You have every right to feel the way that you feel, and I should have paid more attention. I am your husband, I should know what you're feeling more than anyone. And you shouldn't have had to spell it out for me." I say with the utmost conviction.
"Lucas, no. I don't want you taking all of the blame. I should have come and talked to you like an adult, instead of blowing up on you like I did. You are a good man, the best I know, and I know you didn't do any of this on purpose." She tells me right back.
"That may be, but I at least shouldn't have left." She starts shaking her head before I even finish my sentence.
"You were only doing what I told you to do. If anything, I shouldn't have made you leave. I'm sorry honey."
Instead of answering, I decide to just plant my lips against hers, saying everything I need to with just my lips. She moans against my mouth and instantly wraps her arms around me. Without breaking the kiss, I lift her up into my arms bridal style, and move around to the other side of the bed, setting her back down on the side that is usually designated as my side. I then start about cleaning all of the tissues off of the bed, pretty much just pushing them off to the side and onto the floor.
I waste no time in latching my lips back onto my wife's, and crawl onto the bed to join her. We proceed to make sweet love throughout the rest of the evening, making up in the best way we know how, finally passing out in each others arms after the exhaustion kicks in.
"Mom! Ma! You home?" I call out as I make my way into my childhood home.
"In the kitchen baby!" I hear my mother call out to me, which prompts me to make my way towards the kitchen. I find her sitting at the island, reading a magazine and sipping on a mug of something hot. I walk straight over to her and plant a loving kiss on her cheek while wrapping my right arm around her shoulders.
"Hey mom."
"Hi sweetie, what brings you by?" She asks with a smile as I move to stand at the end of the counter next to her.
"I haven't seen you guys in a little while, so I thought I'd stop by and catch up. Where's ma?" I ask, briefly looking towards the living room to see if she was there.
"She's out back working with her physical therapist, it's their last session and she wanted to see how your ma does with a few things before she signs off her paperwork." Mom tells me with a nod of her head towards the back door.
"Oh cool." I say, and decide to root around in the fridge for something to drink. I find a bottle of iced tea, and grab it before shutting the door.
"So how has she been?" I ask after a few sips of the cold liquid. Mom takes a moment before she answers me, and I start to think that she might not have heard me, when she finally speaks.
"Overall she's been good, mostly normal, but she has had several intense migraines that are starting to worry me. And of course in typical Jane Rizzoli fashion, she simply refuses to go back to the hospital for any scans." Mom says, and you can clearly hear the annoyance in her tone. All throughout their marriage, mom has been fighting ma about going to the hospital when she's hurt. Her reasoning being that her wife is a doctor, there is no need for her to seek the help of others. It makes a sort of sense, but mom is a pathologist, with a medical degree, and she doesn't have all the fancy equipment like hospitals have.
"Do you want me to talk to her?" I ask, leaning once again against the counter.
"I don't know how much good that will do, but knock yourself out son." Mom responds and I chuckle.
"Okay sounds good." I say, turning to head outside to see my mom.
"Want me to make you anything to eat sweetie?" I hear mom call out after me, which causes me to turn back around to face her.
"Sure, I could go for some grub." I respond with a smile, earning one in return from my mother.
"What would you like? I was planning on making a nice spring salad and a bowl of fruit for your ma when she was done." She says to me.
"Sounds good, I'll just have whatever ma's having."
"Okay baby." Mom responds, and then I turn back around to head outside.
It's a beautiful May day out, the sun shining brightly in the sky. I quickly spot ma over by the pool with a small weight ball in her hands, which she tosses to a woman with long brunette hair that's standing about 6 feet away from her. I smile as I catch the look of concentration on my ma's face as she does so, clearly intent upon passing this test so she can officially "graduate" from physical therapy. My mother is a very stubborn woman, especially now in her old age, so I can imagine the determination she has towards becoming fully independent again.
I stay back and watch for a moment, enjoying the progress my ma is making with her therapy, before slowly making my way over to her. She doesn't see me at first, but when she does her face lights up and she calls out to me.
"Lucas! Hey buddy, what brings you by? Did you see your mom?" She asks me while looking back over my shoulder towards the house.
"Yeah I did, she's in the kitchen making lunch." I say before wrapping my arms around her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"How are things going out here?" I ask when we break our embrace.
"Good! At least I think." Ma answers, turning her attention to her trainer, who nods her head in return.
"Your mother is doing exceptional. I don't know if she has much need for me anymore." She says with a smile directed towards ma.
"Madison Avery." She then says, directing it towards me. She holds her hand out for me to shake, which I do, mildly surprised by her firm grip.
"That's a good solid handshake there Madison. You must have been taught well." I say to her with a smile.
"Grew up with four brothers, I had to be strong." She says playfully back.
"And strong she is. She's been giving me a run for my money, and that's saying something." Ma says to us, and I just chuckle at her.
"Yeah, maybe when you were still young, but you're over the hills now ma." I say to her, earning myself a rather hard smack against my upper arm. I grasp it in pain while looking at her exasperatedly.
"Ow!" I cry out exaggeratedly.
"Oh please, if I'm over the hills, that shouldn't have hurt." Ma says to me, which causes Madison to chuckle.
"What's wrong baby?" I hear asked from behind me, and I turn around to see my mother looking at me with concern.
"Ma smacked me on the arm really hard." I whine, intentionally hamming it up for my mother. She immediately starts tending to my arm, occasionally aiming a glare towards ma.
"You know better than to hurt our children Jane." She scolds her, which causes me to give ma a triumphant smirk. She just rolls her eyes and scoffs at me. She then mouths the words "mama's boy" towards me, and then we both chuckle.
"Thanks mom, but I think I'm okay." I tell my mother, as she seems to be taking this more seriously than I thought she would.
"Okay baby." She says, and then leans up to give me a kiss on the cheek.
"Well, it would appear that I am infringing upon family time, so I should get going. Jane, you did great today, I'd say just one more session and you should be good to go." Madison says with a smile before she starts getting her things assembled.
"You don't need to leave just yet Madison. I've just finished preparing lunch, and there's more than enough for you to have some." Mom offers up to her, always the caring and proper host.
"Oh no, thank you for the offer, but I must get going. I have other clients to visit today." She politely declines.
"Understandable. Thank you for helping Jane out, I really do appreciate it."
"Of course! Jane has been a pleasure to work with." Madison says with a smile.
"Are you sure you're talking about my mother?" I ask skeptically.
"She hasn't exactly been known as "easy to work with", she was a cop after all." I say teasingly to her, and just barely get out of the way in time before ma's hand lands against my arm again.
"Ha ha mister. So very funny." Ma mocks at me, and I just laugh.
"Alright you two, quit teasing. Now come inside because lunch is ready." Mom scolds us both, effectively shutting each of us up.
"Yes honey." Ma says, while I mutter out, "Yes mother."
Ma takes moms hand and together with Madison and myself, we all walk into the house. Ma and Madison say a quick goodbye, a promise to see each other again at ma's last session, and then it's just the three of us in the house. Mom has prepared a nice light lunch for us, so we all sit down at the table and begin to eat our food.
"So you never said what brought you over son?" Ma asks several minutes after we start eating. I put down my fork and finish chewing the food in my mouth before answering her.
"No particular reason, I just missed you two. Em has the kids with her over at her parents house, and I just didn't feel like going. I thought about you and decided to make the trip." I say with a smile, earning one from each of my mothers.
"We'll we're always glad when you stop by honey." Mom says to me sweetly.
"Even though you didn't bring my adorable grandchildren." Ma says with a wink. We both chuckle and then continue to eat in silence for several long minutes.
"So, I was planning on tackling the basement after lunch, going through some of the old boxes down there. Would you want to help go through them, maybe find some old stuff you want to give to the kids?" Mom asks as she finishes her salad.
"Uh yeah, that sounds good. It'll probably bring back some old memories, so that's cool." I say with a smile before finishing the last little bit of my food.
"Why did I let you talk me into this again?" Ma asks, sounding rather frustrated as she continues to dig through boxes, separating things into piles. One to keep, one that's trash, and one for my siblings to go through and decide on.
"Because you love me and don't want me to have to do this on my own." Mom responds back, somehow not yet annoyed with mom's complaining.
"That's what you have him for." Ma says, pointing in my direction.
"Hey, don't bring me into this." I defend myself.
"You're the oldest mister, you are required to be the one to help with this crap."
"Says who?!" I exclaim out, mildly amused by her attempts at getting out of this.
"The laws of nature." She responds back, but is unable to hide the smile on her face. She clearly knows her facts are bullshit, and she knows I know it too.
"Nice try lady. You are so not getting out of this." I say back, and she sighs out in defeat, before something inside the box catches her eye.
"Oh hey, look." She says, reaching inside the box, quickly pulling out a hat and a white piece of clothing.
"Hey! My old uniform hat!" I exclaim as she hands me the hat. More specifically its her old beat cop uniform hat that she gave to me when I was a kid. I used to run around the house in this thing while pretending to be a cop just like my mom and uncle. I look back up at my ma with a smile, and see her unfold the white piece of clothing. As she unfolds it, I realize that it's a mini lab coat, much like the ones my mother used to ear when she as the Chief ME. I remember when she got that for Bella to wear around, because she wanted to be a Doctor like mommy. She was so damn cute walking around the house in that thing. She even had a fake stethoscope that she wore around her neck to add to the whole outfit.
***Flashback*** - About 20 years ago...
"Open your mouth for me please mommy." Bella says as she holds a popsicle stick up to moms face. She's playing doctor again, and mom is her patient this time, as she sits at the kitchen table facing my sister.
"Of course Doctor." Mom says before doing as she's instructed. She opens her mouth wide and lets Bella put the stick on her tongue.
"Say ah mommy!" Bella instructs next, and mom does as she's told again.
"Your ovala looks good mommy." Bella says as she takes the stick out of moms mouth and sets it on the table.
"It's uvula honey, not ovala." Mom corrects her, and Bella ducks her head slightly, looking embarrassed for getting it wrong.
"Sorry mommy."
"Don't apologize sweetheart, I was just helping you understand correctly."
"Okay. Can I check your tempachure?" Bella asks with a smile.
"Of course doctor. Do you have the thermometer?" Mom asks, and Bella immediately holds it up with a proud smile.
"Okay." Mom says, then opens her mouth and lifts her tongue up, just like she taught us to do. Bella immediately sticks the thermometer in and then mom closes her mouth. They both sit and wait until the little device starts beeping, and then Bella pulls it out of mom's mouth excitedly.
"98.6, mommy, you're tempachure's perfect!" My sister exclaims excitedly as she shows mom the thermometer.
"Well would you look at that. I must have a clean bill of health. What do you say doctor?" Mom responds.
"Make sure you drink plenty of water, and eat your vegetables." Bella says back, trying to sound like a stern doctor.
"Of course doctor, I always do."
"Okay then, see you in a few months mommy." Bella says as she starts to collect the few items she used to play doctor with. She puts all of the items in the large pockets of her white doctors coat, the one mom bought her for her birthday last year, and then she starts to make her way over to ma on the couch, wanting to do the same thing she just did with mom.
***End Flashback***
"She must have taken my temperature like a hundred times that first week you got this for her." I tell my mom as she sits down next to me, admiring the article of clothing belonging to her only daughter.
"You better give that back to your sister young man. She's going to be home from school soon and if she sees you with that, she'll flip her lid. And I definitely don't have time for that tonight, I have too much paperwork to deal with." Ma says behind us, effectively stopping our conversation as we look back in confusion.
"What was that honey?" Mom asks her, her tone that of confusion and skepticism. Ma doesn't answer for a moment, only staring up and to the left, looking rather confused herself.
"Uh, what?" Ma finally says after a few silent moments, her focus coming back too us from seemingly nowhere.
"Jane, are you okay?" Mom asks, getting up from her position near me and heading over to her wife. Ma continues to look confused, and then suddenly winces in pain, her hand shooting up to her head as mom sits down next to her.
"Ow, shit! That hurts Maur." Ma exclaims as she continues to hold her head. Mom looks back at me, a pleading look in her eyes.
"This is literally the worst migraine I have ever had." Ma growls out as she continues to rub her head.
"Are you alright?" I ask, and then internally chastise myself for how dumb I just sounded. Although, instead of responding to my question, Ma just closes her eyes tight and makes a face of intense pain and anguish.
"Luke, call 911." Mom says to me suddenly, but as I reach for my phone, ma calls out to me.
"Don't! I'm fine."
"See." Ma says, removing her hands and standing up to her full height. I am about to breath a sigh of relief, when her eyes start to droop and she mumbles out to mom.
"Maur..." Ma suddenly collapses into my mothers arms, who catches her with a shocked look on her face. I am instantly at her side, holding ma up so she won't crush mom.
"I've got her, call 911." I say to my mother, who immediately calls for an ambulance.
I stare down at my ma's blank face, worry and panic instantly filling me to the brim. I thought we were out of the woods with her, but I guess I was wrong.
"Oooh, shit. Where am I?" I hear asked groggily from the bed. Both Ma and I instantly look up to see ma awake in her hospital bed.
"How are you feeling Jane? Any more pain in your head?" Mom asks, instantly going into doctor mode.
"What's going on?" Ma asks instead of answering mom's question.
"You're in the hospital Jane. You collapsed in the kitchen earlier after complaining of a massive headache." Mom tells her, which earns her a look of confusion in return.
"Really?" Ma asks, looking confused and a bit shocked by what she just heard.
"I don't remember that."
"Whats the last thing you remember ma?" I ask her, curious to know the answer. She scrunches up her face and looks off into the distance for a moment, clearly trying to think back.
"We were in the basement, trying to clear out some of the old boxes." She finally answers after a few moments of silence.
"Lucas had Bella's old lab coat, and you two were reminiscing about it." She continues on, and both mom and I give each other a look of slight relief, hopeful that because she didn't forget much of what happened, that the damage isn't too severe.
"Why in the hell do you keep ending up in here?" I hear practically yelled from the doorway, and I look up to see my sister charging through the door with a very angry look on her face. I look back to my ma and find that she has a sheepish look on her face, even though none of this is really even her fault. She had a massive headache, then passed out. She didn't have any control over that.
"It wasn't ma's fault Bell." I say, not wanting my sister to get mad at my mother. Bella immediately looks to me, a bit of an angry flare to her features.
"Well, what happened?" She asks after a moment, looking from me to my mothers and back as she waits for someone to respond.
"Apparently I had an episode." Ma says after a bit of silence. Bella looks at her in confusion.
"What kind of episode?" She asks, the anger in her tone dissipating, only to be replaced with concern.
"She had an extremely painful headache come out of nowhere and it caused her to pass out. She doesn't even remember it happened." I answer for my mother.
"What?! Why didn't either of you call me?!" Bella yells out in clear frustration, and a bit of desperation.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart, but we were a little preoccupied." Mom tells her, and I can't stop myself before a chuckle escapes my lips. All three women instantly turn their attention to me, ma looking amused while Bella and mom look mad.
"Why the hell do you think that's funny?" Bella asks, or more like growls, at me while folding her arms over her chest. The smile on my face instantly vanishes and I gulp back in slight fear. Even though she is my younger sister, Bella is fierce like my ma, and can scare the crap out of me at times. Especially now that she's pregnant, she's like super awnry and not to be messed with.
"Sorry, it just slipped out." I mutter, and am about to be given her wrath when ma cuts in.
"Oh relax Bells, he's just trying to lighten the mood. Cut him some slack."
"But this isn't something to make light mama!" Bella cries out to our mother.
"Of course it is silly. It was just a really bad headache, so we'll have to up my dose of Excedrin." Ma says with a chuckle, earning herself about the same type of look I got from Bella.
"This is not some laughing matter Jane. you had a serious episode, which ended you in the hospital. And now you're laughing?" Mom says, sounding upset and a little hysterical at the same time.
"Honey, it's fine." Ma says, trying to calm mom down.
"No Jane, it's not fine!" Mom practically yells, and then tears immediately begin to form in her eyes. She turns away from ma and us, and I can see her shoulders start to shake with the crying she's doing. I instantly make my way over to her, not concerned whatsoever with her not wanting us to see her cry. I turn her around and guide her into resting her head against my shoulders. She almost instantly wraps her arms around me and clings for dear life. I hold her while she cries, occasionally looking from my ma to my sister and back. Ma has a guilty look on her face, and Bella just looks really concerned. It takes mom several minutes to stop crying, and when she does she slowly removes herself from my grasp and wipes the tears from her face.
"Maur, I'm so sorry baby, I didn't mean for that to hurt your feelings." Ma says as soon as mom breaks our embrace.
"I know Jane." Mom says, her voice much deeper and raspy from crying.
"The worst part is that the doctors don't know why this happened. They want to keep your mother for a few days so they can run some tests, but of course she refuses. It's not like her health matters to more than just her." Mom says, and suddenly she starts gathering her things that are in the room. I look at my mother in confusion, and happen a glance at my ma, who looks a bit panicked.
"What are you doing mom?" Bella asks before either of us can.
"I'm headed home. Lucas, if you wouldn't mind, could you take your mother home when she's ready?" Mom asks me, only making eye contact briefly before she goes back to gathering her things.
"Maur, you aren't seriously leaving are you?" Ma asks, sounding skeptical but also worried.
"Of course I am Jane. You clearly don't care how this is affecting me, so I'd much rather go home and prepare for your arrival instead." Mom says as she turns and gives her full attention to ma, who cowers slightly back into her bed at the look on mom's face. Mom moves to stand at ma's bedside, leaning down to plant a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you Jane, I'll see you in a little while." Mom says softly to her, before standing back up and turning to face me.
"Let me know when you're on your way?" She asks me, and I nod my head yes back. I pull her in for a hug and whisper in her ear. "Don't worry, I'll talk to her."
Mom for her part says nothing in response, instead she just slowly starts walking towards the door, and is soon gone, leaving the room in an awkward silence.
"I screwed up kids." Ma says after a moment or two of silence. She doesn't make eye contact though, instead she just keeps looking at the doorway where mom left minutes ago.
"Believe me, I know how hard everything was for her. And I know she felt intense guilt for it as well. I don't mean to be a jerk, I was just trying to make light of the situation to try and ease everyone's worries." She explains. I nod my head in agreement, but I don't actually say anything for a few moments.
"I know ma, and I'm sure mom does too. She's just hurt by all this and needs to process it in her own way." I say eventually, earning a look of sadness from my mother.
"Look, it's not your fault okay? This whole thing just kinda sucks all around." I say, not really knowing what else to say to make her feel better.
"If we hadn't fought Luke, then this never would have happened. If I had been a better wife and listened rather than let my ego get in the way, then this never would have happened. I deserve everything that has happened to me, I just wish it didn't have to hurt you kids and your mom in the process." Ma says, sounding dejected and self loathing.
"Stop it. Just stop it okay? That's a load of crap and you know it." I say, letting a bit of anger shine through into my tone.
"What the hell happened to the badass detective that is my mother? What happened to the woman who took names first and asked questions later? What happened to the woman who raised me to be a good, kind hearted and loving man? Who taught me that family comes first and foremost, and that no matter what, you do whatever the hell you have to to come home to them at night? Huh?!" I shout, causing ma to shy back away from me in shock. She clearly was not expecting me to have an outburst like that, and frankly, neither was I. But I'm glad that I did because she needed to hear it.
"I'm sorry Luke, I really am. And you're right, I did teach you all of those things, and I need to live by my own advice." Ma responds after a few moments of silence, her head hanging low in shame.
"I didn't say that you aren't doing that ma. I just mean that you have to take this seriously and try to understand how mom feels, and how this is affecting her." I say in response.
"I know, and I will I promise. I just really don't want to be here. I've had more than enough of hospitals in my lifetime, and especially in the last several weeks. I just want to be home with my wife and enjoy my time." Ma says sadly.
"I know you do, and none of us begrudge you that. We just want you to be healthy, so that you'll be around to take care of mom for years to come."
"Alright Mrs. Rizzoli, I have your form right here. Just fill this out, and acknowledge that you are leaving against medical advice, and that the hospital is not liable for anything that may arise because of your leaving." The doctor says, coming into the room with a clipboard and paper. He hands the form to ma, who quickly fills it out and signs it before handing it back to him.
"Alright, I'll have a nurse come by shortly with your things and a wheelchair." He says as he grabs the clipboard.
"I'll do it." Bella says, Startling me as she hadn't spoken since mom left. I look over and seeker just sitting in the corner of the room with a sad look on her face.
"Oh, Dr. Rizzoli, I didn't realize you were here. My apologies." He says before nodding and then leaving the room. Both ma and I turn our attention to Bella once the doctor leaves. We wait for her to say something, but nothing comes out for several minutes. I'm about to start up a conversation when she beats me to the punch.
"I understand that you hate being here, and that you just want to be home with mom. But you have to understand that instances like this are a sensitive subject, not only for mom but for us as well. You are our rock ma, you always have been and you always will be. We need you here with us, healthy and strong. We need you for us and we need you for mom. You didn't see her when you were out, but we did, and it damn near tore her apart. She might even need you more than we do, and that's saying something. Just please keep that in mind from now on. Because as much as you are our rock, you are her everything." She says, shocking both ma and I into silence.
"I'll go get your things." Bella says quietly, and then turns to head out the door. I watch her go, only turning my attention back to ma once she's gone. When I look back to my mother, I find her head hanging low and tears streaming down her face. This pulls at my heart and I quickly make my way over to her, wanting to wrap her up and make her pain go away.
"Why do I always do this bud? What is wrong with me?" Ma asks me, her voice muffled by my chest. I pull back from our hug so that I can look her in the eye.
"Nothing is wrong me you, you hear me? This was not your fault. This was a result of an accident that some drunk fool caused, and you in no way had control over it. Everyone's emotions are just running high right now, that's all. Mom still loves you endlessly, and so does Bella. Plus, you know she takes after you in regards to how you handle emotions. She's terrible at it." I say with a wink, which earns me a chuckle from her.
"That is true, but it doesn't make me happy to hear. I don't want to be the cause of my childen having issues. And I know that's not the case, but it still hurts to know I've passed it off."Ma says sadly.
"Why does that have to be a bad thing?" I ask, curious as to why she thinks this. The fact that we each took after our parents in one fashion or another has always been something I find awesome. And I'm already seeing traits in my own daughter that she gets from me, which makes me rather happy.
"It means we're yours mama. That there is no doubt that we came from you." I say, earning a shy smile from my mother.
"Thanks bud." She says softly after a moment of silence. I smile and lean in to give her a hug, which she reciprocates enthusiastically.
"Do you think mom and Bella will forgive me?" She asks after we break our hug.
"You didn't do anything wrong ma, they're just upset about the situation. Mom just wants you better because she's worried about losing you. And Bella's just Bella." I say, earning another chuckle from her.
"I love how you keep saying that, and that it actually makes sense." Ma says with another chuckle, right as the subject of our conversation walks back into the room.
"What makes sense?" Bella asks as she heads over with a wheelchair and a plastic bag in her hand.
"Oh nothing, just something funny your brother said." Ma responds back, which causes Bella to look at her and me skeptically for a moment until she finally accepts the answer.
"Okay, well here's your clothes ma, and the wheelchair for when you're ready." She says as she sets the bag down on ma's bed.
"Alright, well let me step out so you can get dressed, and then we'll get you home." I say to my mother with a smile, receiving one in return. Bella stays in the room to help ma out while I head out to the hall and down a bit, pulling out my phone to make a call.
"Hey hon." Emily's beautiful voice rings through the speakers in my phone. A smile lights up my face at the sound as I start to respond.
"Hey babe."
"How's your ma?" She asks me sweetly, but with an air of concern. I hadn't been able to tell her much when I was on my way to the hospital, just that that was were I was headed with my mothers.
"She's doing okay. Going home AMA." Emily chuckles at this, as she knows that's typical of my mother.
"Of course she is. How does your mom feel about that?"
"She's upset as expected. She actually left just a bit ago, couldn't take ma being careless again. Honestly I don't blame her, but I also don't blame ma either. She doesn't want to worry mom, so she tries to act like nothings wrong. But of course she can't fool mom because she's a doctor. Bella's upset too, but she's currently helping ma get dressed so we can take her home."
"I'm sorry sweetheart. Is she going to be okay though?"
"From the sounds of it yes. She had a really bad migraine that made her pass out. I'm not a doctor so I don't know what to make of that, but mom would make more of a fuss about her staying if she thought it was a huge issue. So I hope it'll be okay." I into the phone as I slowly walk around the hallway.
"Well I hope so too babe. Your ma definitely deserves a break from all the crap, and so does your mom for that matter." Em says sympathetically.
"I miss you babe, are you coming home soon?" Em asks after a small bout of silence. As she does so I notice Bella a and ma making their way out into the hall.
"Ma and Bells just came out into the hall, so hopefully yes. I'll follow and make sure she gets settled, then I'll be on my way." I answer, smiling as my mother and sister approach.
"Okay honey, be safe. Text me when you're on your way?"
"Of course. Love you."
"Love you too." Em says sweetly before hanging up.
"All set?" I ask the ladies as they approach me. Ma has a tired expression on her face, and Bella looks a cross between concerned and annoyed.
"You two okay?" I ask, worried that something happened while I was out in the hall.
"Yeah, we're fine son. Just didn't realize after going through something like this, that I'd get the dizzy spells and almost fall over trying to put my clothes on." Ma responds, looking somewhat embarrassed.
"She insisted that she could put her clothes on herself, and after arguing with her for several minutes I decided to let her have her way. I was right however, as when she went to put her shirt on, the angle of her arms and the strain on her body caused her to become dizzy. I caught her before she feel, but now she's upset and is worried that I'm going to tell mom." Bella clarifies for me.
"You know your mother will be even more upset if you tell her what happened. I don't see the need, as I've learned my lesson and won't repeat it again in the future." Ma says to Bella, event though she isn't looking at her.
"That's your call ma, I'm not going to meddle. Plus, she knows what kind of side effects occur with this sort of injury. I doubt you'll be dressing yourself for the next several days." Bella says with a sly smirk on her face. Ma groans at her words, as she as well as I know that Bella is right.
"Alright ladies, let's not bicker anymore. We need to get you home to mom so she can begin to feel better."
"And you too." I add upon receiving a glare from my mother.
I turn and start heading down the hall towards the exit, Bella following right behind me as she pushes ma's wheelchair. We get out to my car and I proceed to help ma into the front seat, and then get her personal effects from Bella, tossing them in the back seat.
"Okay ma, please take it easy. And call me when you get home so I know you made it safe." Bella says to ma as she stands in the open door, moving in to give ma a hug.
"You're not coming with us?" Ma asks, rather confused.
"I have to finish my shift ma. I still have another 24 hours before I can go home." Bella clarifies.
"Well now that doesn't seem safe. You're pregnant sweetheart, you shouldn't be working."
"I am very capable of working mother. And I'm only in the beginning stages of my pregnancy. Once I get closer to my due date I will take the necessary time off. But until then I have to work and make money." Bella says, giving ma a kiss on the forehead.
"Oh okay." Ma says in response, sounding sad that Bella isn't coming with us.
"Get her there safe, and make sure that mom is okay to handle her." Bella says quietly to me before giving me a hug as well."
"I will, don't worry." I say into her ear before pulling away.
"Bye ma, I love you."
"Love you too sweetheart. Come visit soon okay?" Ma calls out to her as she begins to walk away.
"I will, I promise." Bell says over her shoulder as she walks away. I watch on with a smile on my face for a few seconds, before turning back to shut my mothers door. I quickly walk around to the drivers side and get in, starting the car up so I can begin the journey to my parents house.
"Alright mama, there you go." I say as I get her settled on the couch with a blanket and the tv remote. Mom is currently upstairs changing into something more comfortable, her words not mine, so I'm just down here keeping ma company while she does that. She seemed well when we got here. She came out and helped me get ma out of the car, and lovingly helped her into the house. I'm hopeful that all is well, but of course they still have some talking to do. I definitely don't want to be present for that however. I need to get home to my wife and kids.
"Thanks for all of your help bud." Ma says as I sit down on the couch next to her.
"I know this hasn't been easy for you, but you've stepped up and helped out tremendously. Your mom and I really appreciate it." She says with a proud smile. I blush slightly at her words, unsure of the praise.
"It was nothing ma, that's what family is for." I finally respond with.
"I know that, but still. I really appreciate you stepping up and being there for everyone. I know it couldn't have been easy." Ma says back to me.
"Well, you're welcome." I say after a brief pause. I don't know why but I feel slightly awkward taking her praise, but I know she wants me to so I will. I receive a smile in return from her, which makes me feel better.
"Do you remember when mom used to go away on her conferences and us kids and you would sleep out in the living room under a giant tent we would make out of all the spare sheets." I ask after a few moments of silence. I have no idea why my mind wandered there, but I'm glad it did, as the smile on ma's face is so wonderfully happy.
"Ha ha I do remember that. It's one of my happiest memories with you kids, aside from the fact that your mother wasn't there. But I did enjoy the bonding time if afforded us."
"Remember how we always had to get all of the sheets washed and put away before mom got back?" I ask with a chuckle.
"And no matter how well we folded them, she could always tell?" I add with a few more chuckles.
"I think the first time was just a guess, but every time she left after that, she just knew that's what we were going to do, so it was a given when she got back and they weren't exactly how she had left them." Ma adds with a joyful laugh of her own.
"Or how Simon used to tell her that he used all of the sheets on his bed to try and cover up the real reason?" I ask with a laugh, remembering my baby brother trying to cover for something that didn't even need covering for.
"She never bought it for a second, but he always tried to use that excuse." Ma laughs with me, us remembering the good old times making it hard to stop laughing.
"What's so funny?" I hear asked from behind us, and see my mother walking towards us from the stairs when I turn around to look.
"Oh we were just remembering the nights we slept out here in a sheet tent when you would leave for conferences when the kids were little." Ma says to her with a smile, which mom returns in kind.
"And how Simon used to tell you he used all of the sheets on his bed as a cover for us using them to make a tent." I add.
"Which I never bought for a second." Mom responds as she sits down on ma's other side.
"Yeah but you played along so that was great. I mean, obviously the genius of the family would catch on that we were up to something, but you were and are a fantastic mom so you played along." I say with a wink and a smile. Mom gets a blush on her face, as she always does when anyone compliments her. Even though she's been receiving them for many years now, she still gets this way. She's just very humble I guess.
"Well thank you sweetheart, I appreciate that." She responds politely.
"Well, if you two are good, I better get going. Em really wants me back home, and I miss my kids." I say after a few moments of silence. I get up from the couch and give both of my mothers a hug and a kiss as they in turn say their goodbyes.
"Make sure you bring the family by soon, I miss my grandkids as well." Ma says, or more like commands me.
"Oh yes, please do that. And Emily, because we miss her as well." Mom adds.
"Just not as much." Ma immediately says with a wink.
"I'll be sure to tell her that ma." I say as I start to head towards the front door.
"Please do!" Ma calls after me, and I can hear mom smack her on the arm as a warning, as ma makes a grunt sound and then cries out "oh!".
I chuckle as I continue on towards the door, calling out "I love you!" as I go. Once outside I quickly head towards my car, eager eyes to get home to my family. I'm glad that my mother is okay, at least for now, and that mom is taking care of her, but I am rather glad to be going home.
I was a bit worried when mom left the hospital alone, but of course she wouldn't abandon ma. She loves her way too damn much, and her heart belongs only to her. I know our family can get through this, that we can get ma better and have our parents for many more years to come. My mothers are fighters, and tough as hell. I have no doubt that everything will work out great.
I am so sorry that this took so long to get out, but I hope it at least somewhat made up for it. Don't be shy about commenting, whether to tell me to get my ass in gear and update quicker, or to tell me how much you loved/hated it. I just love getting reviews and hearing your thoughts, whether good or bad or constructive. And I promise that I will try harder to get the next chapter out much quicker. ;)