AN- Later than usual, I'm sorry. I had to catch up on school stuff and sort out collage applications, but anyway I'm not going to bore you with excuses. I needed to get this chapter right, so I took my time. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight.

I hadn't spoken to Jasper since that evening in the kitchen, that was three days ago. He'd been spending his time with Emmett mostly, playing chess and card games.

Now however, everyone except me and Esme and Jasper were at work or school.

I'd tried to go back a week after Jasper arrived, only to be pulled under by my visions during my first class, Edward had told everyone I had fainted, carried me to his car, and drove me home... Back to Jasper. Carlisle still won't let me go back.

It was worse when everyone else was gone, just me, Esme... and Jasper.

I thought it would be easier than this. I thought that in time I'd be able to at least have a full conversation with him, but I couldn't. Every time I talk to him, I feel like I'm going to say something wrong, that I'll force him away.

He seemed happy enough here, without much interference from me. As long as he stayed, I knew I'd be okay. I could protect him.

When it was just us three I tended to hide myself in my room, there was no point giving Esme a chance to leave me and Jasper alone.

I tried without success to entertain myself. Movies and books were pointless. With my visions still so temperamental my mind would often skip forward and find out what happened at the end, I had tidied my room, sorted though my closet. Even cleaned the outside window...I quickly got bored.

I was lying on my bed staring at nothing when I heard someone outside my door, the footsteps were too wary to be Esme's. I waited for him to disappear but he didn't. "Jasper, what do you want?" I regretted my tone as soon as the words left my mouth. Jasper just seemed to brush them off.

"Your bored." He said simply. "I thought I'd come and see if I could help, I'm sure I'd enjoy my book much more if you weren't feeling so restless." I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you couldn't feel my emotions from downstairs?" I questioned,

"They're getting clearer " he said. "Do you want me to come in of not?" He asked.

"I'm studying." I lied, quickly pulling a book from my desk onto the bed next to me

He laughed and opened the door before leaning casually against the door frame. "You've been going to school since before the 1940's what more could you possibly need to study?"

"Jazz..Jasper" I corrected myself "Please, just leave me alone"

He was silent for a second seeming to think about something "Talk to me" he said quietly "tell me about your visions."

Not this again, he asked me this so many times, when would he give up? "No!"

"Why not?"

"I don't have to"

He huffed "Alice I've been here three months and it still don't understand what's going on with you. I sit and comfort you, and all I know is that it has something to do with this" he gestured to the scars on his arms. "And what Maria did to me." I flinched when he said her name.

I was sick of him trying to force answers from me, I just wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be, the way it was supposed to be. Before Maria ruined everything.

"I was fine," I snapped "I could control my visions, I made myself forget. I was different from before, but I was fine! You ruined it, I can't do any of it anymore. I can't control my thoughts, my visions... My memories. It's all your fault."

I couldn't seem to stop the words flowing from my lips and I regretted every one of them.

He looked at me closely, then began rolling his sleeves up, like he had done to wash the dishes "what are you doing?" I asked him. He ignored me.

I was surprised that he showed me any of them, I'd expected him to stop at his forearms at least, but he didn't, he pushed them up past his elbows revealing the scars that ran across them. "What are you doing." I asked again. But couldn't tear me eyes away from those deep silver grooves. Like at his wrists they cut deep into his joint, they were the marks left behind from that vision, marks she had cause.

"Stop it." I whimpered, wrapping my arms around my chest. I looked away and closed my eyes, but that vision flashed behind my eyelids stronger than ever before.

"Look at me, I know you've seen them before, you know how I got them" he said. I realised he knew exactly what effect it was having on me, he knew it when we were washing the dishes. He was trying to get me to look, he was tiring to get me to talk. It was working

"Go away" I said trying to push my visions back.

He walked around to stand in front of me again

"Please, just go" I pulled my arms tighter around me. He looked down at them.

"Why do you do that?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows.

"Because it hurts." I cried, and it did, badly.

"I can't keep pulling you back Alice, I won't. You need to move past it. That feeling, it's never going to go away unless you talk to me, to anyone."

"I can't" I snapped.

"You haven't even tried " he shouted

"Get out now!" I growled at him, slowly staking forward. I expected him to back away from me, but he stood his ground. "I said get out!"

"You won't hurt me." He sneered, lowering into a crouch, but still he didn't leave my room

"Get out!" I shouted and I pushed him backward, my hands collided hard with his chest and the sound of marble on marble echoed though the house.

"Alice!" Esme stood at the top of the stairs. I spun around and growled at her. She stared at me, eyes wide. I didn't understand what was happening to me, I just felt so angry. I knew it was wrong but I still couldn't stop growling at her.

Jasper seemed to realise something I didn't. He stood, quickly pulling down his sleeve to hide his scars again, before turning to face Esme

"This is my fault, I'm influencing her, I didn't realise I was doing it." He turned his head towards me "Go back to your room." He said calmly

I was so shocked by the change in his tone, that I listened. I backed up though my door, pushing it shut. I turned and slid down to the floor. The memories were flashing and the pain in my chest was coming back ten fold. I curled my arms back around my chest and cried out.

"Are you not going to help her?

"Not this time."

"She's hurting."

"I went though exactly the same when it happen to me, it won't get any easier unless she faces it herself."

Their voices traveled though the door, through the haze in my mind, it made them sound so far away. Then sound of footsteps moved down the stairs. I was alone.

Soon it was just that old vision, playing at the forefront of my mind in vivid detail, and this time there was no comfort, no relief. I screamed and whimpered just like the first time. I couldn't stop it. It didn't end after Jasper's torture, the memories continued into my slip up, into my fight to find control, my journey to the Cullen's and my struggle to act normal and it all seemed as real as the first time.

By the time the flashbacks came to a close I was frozen I'm my spot by the door, not breathing and clutching my arms tightly around me.

I stayed curled up for what felt like hours, my breaths turning shallow and panicked at best.

Eventually there was a quiet knock on my door. I knew it was Jasper, it was to silent to be anyone else. "Can I come in?"

"I'm sorry" I whimpered "I didn't mean it, it's not your fault. He opened the door slightly but it collided with my back, he craned his head around to look at me.

"It's not your fault either" he said calmly, squeezing though the crack in the door, he walked in and sat in the leather chair in the corner of my room. I still couldn't bring myself to move. "We both know who's fault it is."

I put my head in my hands "I don't want to talk about her."

He sighed "I don't want to talk about her either, but you need to. I know you never told anyone"

I just shook my head.

"Believe me, it doesn't get any better unless you talk... I've already tried it."

I trusted him, if he said it would help then I knew it would, but id hidden the memories for so long.

"You already know what I saw" I said, he lowered himself to the floor and knelt in front of me

"Tell me." He said quietly.

I wanted to talk to him, I really did but... The words got stuck. I opened my mouth only to close it a second later. Jasper sat patiently by my feet, it was like there was a buzz in the room, a pull. I wanted to get closer to him.

finally I found the courage I needed.

He waited silently until I managed to push the words past my lips. I took a deep breath.
"I... I was... Out shopping. I'd been feeling weird all day, I still can't describe it, but I felt strange... I checked on you, so many times, just making sure you were ok, but that feeling never went away... It still hasn't.

"I... I convinced myself you were fine... Peter was with you... He would make sure you were ok." My breath left me in a gush "I was just browsing though the clothes." I choked out. "I saw what was going to happen Charlotte, I knew that she and Peter were mates... I knew he wouldn't stand aside and let you destroy her."

I was sobbing now, gasping for the breath I needed to talk. I clutched at the carpet, my fingers pulling at the fibres.

Jasper's hand covered my own. "Calm down." I looked down at our hands, the thin lines of scars stretched as his thumb traced the bumps of my knuckles. "Keep going" he said.

"I started getting pulled deeper and deeper into the vision, I had to grip the railings to stay upright. I pushed myself out and into the street and hid myself in a back ally... I knew something was going to go wrong... I could feel it.

"Then you went after Charlotte... and Peter went after you... And everything was so fast it blurred in my mind... I didn't know what to think when they escaped. I was happy for them, but I knew that wasn't the end of it, that she would have heard the commotion and come to see what was happening... I knew that she... That she'd punish you."

This was the hardest part, the part that no doubt would send the memories into a frenzy once again. I cried out and tried to wrap my arms around myself but Jasper stopped me "Come on, tell me." He encouraged "I know you can do this" he said.

It was a few minuets before I could find my voice again I closed my eyes. "I... She... She walked up behind you and grabbed your arms, pinning them behind you...there was that evil glint in her eyes and I knew that she was planning more than just a few bites...

Jasper winced, and his breaths shortened. As much as he claimed to have overcome it there was still a part of him that was haunted by those memories.

"She started biting you, and I watched you cry out, you were in so much pain and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Then she bit into your shoulder and...and she...started pulling you apart. The same way the newborns had been... My visions started to black out and I started to panic, but they always came back. Every time she was still pulling at you, newborns were biting at your arms, screamed at her to stop.

"Then it blacked out again and I couldn't find any visions of your future at all. I waited and waited but nothing came. That's when I pulled myself out of the visions... I'd fed on a human, it was only the second time I'd done it... He must have heard me scream... There was blood down my front, on my hands, everywhere.

"I ran... That's all I remember doing, my visions went haywire and I couldn't control it. I still don't know how long I was running for, then I found the Cullen's. They helped me, took me in."

I stayed silent, I'd told him what he'd asked, I still felt numb.

Jasper touched my shoulder "Well done." He comforted me "I promise it gets better.. your family... Myself...we just want to help you."

"I know you do... It's just... It's hard." I whispered.

He stood gracefully and held out his hand to help me up. "That was the first step in making it easier." He said as he pulled me up.

AN- Quite a long chapter so I hope you liked it. I know some of you have been wanting Alice to open up. That weird fight/stand off thing in the middle should be explained in two or three chapters time (A Jasper chapter)

Please Review! I didn't get many for my last chapter

-B x