Prompt: Groundskeeper Samuel
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Nathaniel returned from Amaranthine in a pensive mood. When he had first heard the news of his family's fall from grace and the rumors of his father's depravity way back before he'd even left Kirkwall, he had immediately assumed the whispers to be wrong and vicious slander to boot. Upon meeting the woman who had killed his father and being forced to join the Grey Wardens which was surprisingly not as bad as he had feared, he had begun to doubt. The new Arlessa wasn't a bad sort, really, but he still couldn't believe what everyone said about his father had been the truth all along. A compromise, perhaps? His father was being made a scapegoat for backing the losing side (and since the former regent was still alive, well, and the father of the Queen the blame was hardly going to go to him) and yet the Warden had no knowledge of this. That could work. He had found Delilah in Amaranthine, however, and what she had to say about their father…it didn't seem real. Slaving, kidnapping, torturing…it couldn't be real.
He was taking a brisk walk around the Keep to try and clear his head when he saw him. Groundskeeper Samuel. The man who had informed him that his sister was still alive and told him how to find her. He had never left Amaranthine even after the Grey Wardens had taken over, had he? He would be able to tell him more about what had happened. It wasn't like Nathaniel was going to take the word of Samuel above the word of his sister, of course, but the idea of his father being a monster – though he had intellectually accepted it – just refused to sink in. The more people he asked and who confirmed those ugly rumors the better chance he had of finally believing it…or so he hoped. This cognitive dissonance, believing in his father's evil and good at the same time, was killing him.
Samuel was pulling at some weeds behind the Keep when Nathaniel approached him. Once he registered Nathaniel's presence, he straightened immediately. "Oh, you're back. Did you find Lady Delilah?"
Nathaniel nodded absently. "I did. She seemed…well. She also said some very disturbing things."
Samuel tilted his head. "Oh?" he prompted.
"You worked here after I left and up until my father's death, right?" Nathaniel asked, almost rhetorically.
Samuel nodded. "And I haven't stopped working even now that the Arling has changed hands. There's nobody that knows the grounds of this place better than me."
"Delilah said…" Nathaniel began. Stopped. Steeled himself. "Delilah said that our father was a monster. I wasn't here. I don't know. Would you agree with that?"
Samuel hesitated. "Your father spent most of his last year of life in Denerim dealing with the civil war and consolidating his power," he hedged. "Just the same…"
"Yes?" Nathaniel asked, struggling not to let his impatience show.
"Just the same I've worked for that man since the Orlesians were thrown out of the country and it was safe to come out of hiding," Samuel replied. "The pay was good and Amaranthine itself is beautiful, plus it's near enough to the Alienage in Highever so I can't say I ever regretted taking the job."
Nathaniel sensed there was a 'but' coming. "What was the problem then?"
"Your father was never a friend to the elves," Samuel said delicately. "Oh, I know we could have had it far worse, don't get me wrong. Under the Orlesians we did have it far worse. Even in Ferelden, the tales told about Bann Vaughan are enough to chill the soul. Your father was never nearly that bad but it was still painfully obvious that elves weren't really people to him. Like so many others, he felt that because we were different than human we must be subhuman as well. I do not claim to know what your father got up to in Denerim but it would not surprise me in the slightest if he really did lead a purge through the Alienage and send phony Tevinter 'healers' to enslave them."
"I see," Nathaniel said, his heart plummeting. It seemed like he was the only one surprised to hear what his father had gotten up to after massacring the Couslands…well, aside from the Couslands, of course.
"I'm not telling you this to hurt you or to make you think less of your father," Samuel said earnestly. "Because for better or for worse he was your father and I know that you loved him."
"Then why are you telling it to me?" Nathaniel demanded. "Well…aside from the fact that I asked and it may be the truth."
"You are a Grey Warden now," Samuel explained. "I watched you grow up, you know. It's been killing you to be a part of the evil order that murdered your father, hasn't it?"
Reluctantly, Nathaniel nodded in confirmation.
"I don't expect that knowing the truth about your father will make you happy," Samuel continued. "But your father is dead and you're not. The Grey Wardens aren't going anywhere either and from what I understand you can't just stop being one, even if you do decide to quit one day. I hope that by realizing the truth about your father you will be able to find peace one day."
Nathaniel couldn't imagine that ever happening. Still, it was a bit premature to say for certain and he might be pleasantly surprised one day when he realized that he was at peace with what had happened.
Samuel was still staring at him.
"Thank you," Nathaniel said with a tight smile. He didn't feel very thankful but Samuel had done as he asked and being in a bad mood was no reason not to be polite. He made his excuses and then quickly hurried away.
He could feel Samuel's eyes on him until he was all the way back in his room.
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