Living with Bones was nothing like Jim had expected.
It was at least ten times better.
He had thought that when Bones moved in the flowing dynamic between them might change- and certainly it had-but other little idiosyncrasies stayed exactly the same.
Some little habits had taken considerable adjustment; Jim had never been a heavy sleeper, and the first week was hell as he tried to convince his body to sleep through Bones' impressively loud snores, but then had come the night that Bones had pulled an all-nighter at the clinic. Jim had found himself waking every half-hour, disoriented and fatigued and wondering if maybe he wasn't developing a little stress-related insomnia. It took him four hours of misery to figure out he was listening for the sound of Bones' breathing.
Bones was a mother hen, constantly picking at him to eat healthier, sleep longer- and "Dammit, Jim, it's cold outside; put on a fucking jacket before I end up treating you for frost bite" had become a constant refrain. Sometimes Jim wanted nothing more than to snarl that he'd been taking care of himself for years and wasn't any worse for wear; on rare occasions he had even given in to the impulse, and the two of them had bickered like an old married couple until one of them thought to point that out, and then it was all rueful smiles and sheepish apologies until Bones started in on him again.
Jim had left his own mark too; Bones didn't always make his bed before he rushed out in the mornings now and sometimes breakfast was no more than a slice of toast between his teeth and a mug of coffee in his hand as he rushed out the door. "You're a bad influence." He'd always remark, wrinkling his nose as he spread a little too much butter on his toast courtesy of Jim's urging.
Then again, Jim found that most of his clothes were making their way into a hamper without Bones saying word one, and if his PADDs were still on the floor, well, at least they were stacked according to subject now.
Jim had learned to enjoy these little things; the way Bones ate everything on his plate counter-clockwise until Jim pointed it out, then he'd resolutely cleaned his plate clockwise just to prove he could. The way he'd stumble in after an early class, throwing himself down his bed for a nap and holding onto his pillow like it was going to run away from him. Jim liked to study then, stretched out on his own bed, watching Bones' back rise and fall rhythmically.
It was peaceful, and that wasn't something Jim had ever thought he could enjoy, but there was something satisfying about coming back from whatever chaotic mess he'd managed to get himself involved in during the day to this little haven of relative calm.
It wasn't all sunshine though; the times Bones commed Joanna were the worst. He would wander aimlessly around the apartment then, rearranging everything, clean ferociously, all with a bitter little smile Jim had learned to hate. Then there were the mornings where Bones' face was dark as thunderclouds and he'd slink out the door without so much as a goodbye; the way he shook his head and sneered occasionally while he was mentally battling foes Jim couldn't even begin to guess at. Evening would roll around and he'd come back, warily glancing at Jim over his shoulder like he feared he might have been evicted over the course of the afternoon, sometimes he'd bring a peace-offering and wait nervously until Jim flashed a friendly grin and asked him who the hell had yanked his tail that morning.
Then Bones would just look so damn grateful and relieved, like he'd been expecting absolute rejection, that Jim wanted nothing more than to pull him into a smothering embrace and assure him that it would take more than a few snappish moods make him let go.
Except that Bones would laugh it off and call him a lunatic and they would spend the next few days awkwardly pretending nothing had happened.
He was wise enough to know he had it bad, and that scared him a little- all right, a lot-except sometimes Jim could see his own thoughts mirrored on Bones' face before he quickly assumed a practiced neutral expression. No, there was nothing average about how fast they had come to rely on each other for this casual and easy acceptance; it was downright unnerving, but after years of constantly placing second-best with everyone, Jim was enjoying the new responsibilities of being someone's first and best friend.
The trick would be in convincing Bones that it was possible to be both friends and lovers, and that it really wouldn't be too big of a step from where they stood now.
It wasn't going to be easy, but Jim was increasingly sure it would be worth the effort.
!
!
It seemed a new experience, living with someone else again after so long on his own; Leonard had begun to adapt to living alone, had embraced solitude and told himself it was something he could cope with. When he'd decided to move in with Jim, he hadn't been certain how it would go.
Fine, as it turned out.
It didn't startle him anymore when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Jim tinkering with some gadget Len was pretty sure he shouldn't have been able to get his hands on. He'd come to expect Jim's running commentary on everyone's business but his own, everything from Gaila's morphology project to Daystrom's attempts to program intelligent life, and he slept easier now that he could feel someone else in the room- even if Jim did occasionally start giggling in his sleep and wake himself up with it.
They had settled into a routine this past month or so, and Leonard was surprised to find it was agreeable, even fun; not that he would ever admit it to Jim, it was a wonder the kid could support the weight of that overinflated ego already. Besides, he was pretty sure Jim heard everything he didn't say and graciously chose not to refer to it.
It had quickly been established that Wednesday night was vid night unless Len was scheduled for an extra shift in the clinic, and Fridays Jim invited Gaila, Uhura and Chekov for cards. Despite Gaila's shameless flirting and Uhura's light teasing the boy somehow managed to make a profit every week, much to Jim's dismay.
Tuesdays meant running flight simulations ad nauseam, but it was easier now that he could see a little progress in his work; Jim tolerated his gruff commentary, interjecting a provocative remark every now and again just to get him started. Leonard was more grateful for that patience than he could ever say, and did his level best not to take advantage of it too often.
All in all, he'd begun to settle in. And if there was a time or two when he'd caught Jim studying him just a little too intensely or caught himself entertaining a few notions of his own, all was forgiven. Leonard wasn't one for making spur-of-the-moment decisions, but every time Jim brushed just a little too close while he manipulated the controls on the sim or caught Leonard's eye and tipped him that Don't worry, we've got this wink Len knew he was a step closer to damning the consequences and giving himself free reign.
He was comfortable with Jim, in a way their short acquaintance didn't really merit, but Leonard had never been one for discounting the importance of instinct.
It had been years since he'd attempted any sort of relationship at all, and Jim had made it plain his offer still stood. They were both consenting adults, both undeniably attracted, and both of them slated for the Enterprise… just so long as it didn't interfere with their duties, it couldn't hurt to have something a little more than friendship- that was something he knew he'd always have regardless.
He would wait though, wait until he didn't have to ask Jim for any more help with these damn examinations, until they had cleared up the Maru and he'd found a way to deal with Jocelyn's maneuvering. Leonard wanted none of that between them, no sense of obligation or debts owed; that way when Jim decided to move on to greener pastures they could keep their easy camaraderie with no lingering sense of betrayal or jealousy. It was a compromise he was willing to accept, or at least to try; there was a chance he might regret it, but Leonard knew he would if he declined the opportunity.
!
!
!
"I have a date." Jim announced over supper a few nights later, beaming with good cheer.
Leonard tried to ignore the little stab of an emotion he didn't care to name while he forced himself to smile back. "Good for you, kid. Gonna be a little hard to impress the lady, what with you bein' confined to campus and all- but I'm sure you'll manage." He might have added that last part for spite, but didn't care to speculate on why; moving in together didn't mean he had an exclusive claim on Jim's time, even if the kid hadn't stopped flirting with him since day one.
Jim wrinkled his nose in confusion, not an expression Len was privileged to see often, but always satisfying when he did. "Not a date, Bones. A Date. For the Maru. I'm up next Friday, and I wanted to make sure I could still count on you."
"Shit, kid. That's ten days away, aren't you a little, I don't know… concerned?" Bones snapped peevishly; every spare moment Jim should have been studying for his own course work had been funneled into teaching him the ins and outs of flight sims, going over every possible combination of malfunctions until Leonard dreamed of shuttle disasters every night. It hadn't done much to cure his aviophobia, but damned if he couldn't land that little bastard every which way with an ever-falling damage score.
In short, the guilt was beginning to eat at him and it wasn't comfortable in the slightest.
Jim blinked, "Sure, I've got some studying to do-"
"Study, my ass." Len grumbled.
"Why, Bones, I didn't know you were up for it." It was impossible to take offense when Jim wore that beatific smile, so quickly extinguished when he bit down unthinkingly into an asparagus. Leonard smirked, vegetables had become increasingly prevalent in Jim's diet, and the kid didn't care for it at all.
Joanna had always been an oddball in that regard, demanding her peas and squash if she thought her mother had been skimping on servings… Len pushed the thought aside determinedly.
"Y'can count on me kid, but I can't save you if you don't have a clue what you're doing."
"Leave it to me, Bones. I've got this all worked out."
The devil of it was, he probably did. Bones didn't know whether he was pleased or disappointed about that, had to admit it was probably a little bit of both.
"'S that what you 'n Gaila have been getting up to? Studying?"
Jim's eyes widened with delight, "You noticed! We've got it cornered."
Cornered. There was an interesting choice of words. Len frowned, trying to trace the thought back to its source, something about that phrasing just sent shivers of foreboding up his spine.
"Don't faze out on me, Bones." Jim's voice assumed the sleazy, whining quality Leonard always associated with the old film noir gangsters of his youth "I'll do for the greenies if you do."
"Good god, Jim. How old are you again? Greenies?"
"Nice to have you back."
Leonard had learned to regret ever introducing Jim to those old classics; the kid seemed to think he bore more than a passing resemblance to Al Capone, and it had been a solid three days before he'd been able to enter the room without Jim making some wise-ass quip about holdups or full-body searches. Several times he'd considered offering a strip search for thoroughness' sake just to see the look on Jim's face. Except he half suspected Jim would look at him like Christmas come early, and Leonard really wasn't sure what he would make of that.
Oh well, jot it down as another fantasy he'd never dare to act on; those were becoming distressingly frequent of late.
"Hm. I like that smirk, something to share with the class, Bones?"
"I'm just wondering how it is that your request to retake the Maru came through so quickly when I haven't been called to qualify."
Jim's eye twitched in that way Leonard had come to associate with strong feelings of guilt, "Don't know, you should ask your adviser."
"I didn't think you would know, but I'm starting to think you might. Something you would like to confess, Jim?" Leonard fixed him with a glare, daring him to try a deflection; with an eight year old daughter, he was willing to bet he'd heard every one and then some.
Jim sank down in his chair defensively, holding his plate before him as though it might prevent his erstwhile roommate flying for his throat. "IaskedPiketopostponeandhesaidyes."
"Want to run that by me again?"
Jim tried for a smile, completely oblivious to how very charming Leonard found that earnest look of a moment ago.
"Since you were so hesitant to make an appeal on your own, I submitted one for you formally requesting that any test be delayed until your legal issues had been suitably dealt with."
Oh god, Uhura was right. James T. Kirk is going to be the death of me.
"What the hell, Jim." Bones growled, "I asked you to tutor me, not take over my life!" He swiped his dishes off the desk, pushing his chair in roughly and stomping off to the kitchen. Jim followed at his heels, close enough that Leonard feared for his feet.
"Hold up. You asked for my help academically. That implies that you trusted my judgment; it was my professional judgment that-"
"Professional? You don't get to throw that word around yet."
"You needed a little more time; you're still worrying over Joanna-"
"Don't you fucking bring my kid into this, Jim."
"And I think the only way you're going to sort yourself out is if you take care of her first."
The dishes clattered on the counter, landing perilously near the edge when Leonard spun. "I din't ask for your help, Jim. I told you, that's over. I lost!" It hurt to say it aloud, ripped open wounds that had only just begun to heal, and Jim didn't deserve to be dragged into this, even if he thought he was charging to the rescue again.
Leonard drew a breath, preparing an apology; he owed Jim thanks for his well-meaning interference. Thanks, and a warning to keep his nose out of Len's business unless specifically invited to stick it there.
"Stop being a stubborn asshole, Bones. We're friends, looking out for each other comes with the territory. I'm sorry I pissed you off, but I thought you needed help and I tried to help. Wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't at least try." Jim folded his arms across his chest, chin sticking out belligerently and blue eyes sparkling with genuine temper. It was a look Bones had only seen once before, and damn him if it didn't go straight to his dick just like the first time.
Leonard had to admit Jim had him there, he'd said it often enough himself that he couldn't really object to having the same argument thrown in his teeth.
"All right. I'll see if I can't speak with someone about having that lifted. Future reference, don't do something like this without givin' me some advance warning." Another thought struck him, and Len narrowed his eyes questioningly.
"Been up to anything else I need to know about?"
"Like what?" Jim's tone was a little too defensive for an innocent man; Len pressed his pursuit.
"I don't know, Jim. You tell me."
"Nothing."
"You sure?"
"Sure."
Leonard knew he was lying through his pretty teeth, but when Jim got that look on his face there was no forcing him even an inch further. He pushed the question of what Jim was plotting to the back of his mind, choosing instead to compose a little speech on the importance of qualifying for the sake of graduating sometime this year.
!
!
!
The words Jim had been waiting for these past few weeks finally flashed across his comm just as he stepped out of his navigational seminar. Hearing scheduled. Location San Fran. Informed McCoy yet?
Bless Christopher Pike and everyone he loved; Jim wasn't even going to ask how he had not only convinced Starfleet to lend Bones a hand or how he'd managed to bring the fight to a local court. Procedural questions whirled through his mind, but it would spoil some of the magic of this event if he examined it too closely; besides, Pike brought up a very valid point.
No. Jim bit his lip, waited for the comm to chime again and quickly checked the screen.
Better get on that, son.
Jim flinched even as he grinned hugely; Pike was in a good mood, that boded well for their chances of seeing Joanna. He hadn't informed Bones though, even when he'd had the opportunity last night.
Bones was gonna be pissed. Again.
Hopefully, some of his pleasure at the good news would show itself to the messenger. Jim fondly imagined Bones reaming him out royally, profanities flying through the air like lethal weapons, hazel eyes shimmering with anger and excitement and cheeks flushed with the exertion of yelling at the top of his lungs. He'd wait until Bones paused to draw a breath before stealing a kiss… or maybe Bones would snap and kiss Jim's lying lips, overwhelmed with equal parts frustration and joy.
More likely, Bones would chew him out for his continuous interference and then ladle an extra helping of spinach onto his plate. Yuck. To make matters worse, he'd eat dessert first like he did every night, and when Jim tried to object he'd say the same thing he always did: I could be dead before dessert, Jim. And then all this lovely cobbler would go to waste. Then he would smirk and gesture to Jim's disgusting heap of once growing things and add but you've got years of hedonism to make up for, finish your veggies first.
Jim would do it too, because one day he was going to kiss and lick every last bit of that damnable peach cobbler from Leonard McCoy's lips; Bones would gag on the taste of his foul veggies, and then all would be well and equal with the world.
Jim peered cautiously around the room as he stepped in, observing the red jacket tossed carelessly onto Bones' bed, the boots tilted sideways beside the door and an empty plate sitting at Bones' elbow while he peered at something on the screen of his PADD. Good moods all around today, and Jim wasn't keen to wreck it, but he wasn't sure how this news would be received.
!
!
"Hey, Bones."
Bones humphed softly, which was The Real McCoy for "Good to see you too, Jim." One day, he'd program the universal translator to recognize it.
"So I heard something interesting from Captain Pike today."
Bones laid his PADD aside, glancing up to him in sympathetic alarm. "He found out where the water credits are going?"
"What? I don't borrow Pike's; do I look suicidal?"
"Borrow." Bones shook his head slowly, just beginning to relax.
"It's got nothing to do with water, actually. Turns out my hunch was right though."
"Course it was, Jim. You're always right." Jim chose to ignore the thick sarcasm in favor of coming to the point.
"Starfleet is always willing to help out deserving cadets." Jim prayed Bones would take the hint from there, but was greeted with a singularly blank expression.
"Who the hell decides who's 'deserving' or not? We're all in Starfleet academy, signing our lives away to fly around in emptiness protected by nothing more than a little sheet metal and some flashing lights that the ensigns pretend to understand. I think that's pretty deserving." Bones huffed.
"Well apparently someone decided you're pretty deserving; you've got a custody hearing coming up, and th-"
"A what now?" Bones' voice could best be described as a dull roar.
"Custody hearing. Here in the city; Joanna's coming along and when I checked with Pike to see if maybe you could have a supervised visit or something he said as long as it doesn't conflict with-"
"A hearing? Jim!" Strike that last, definitely a full-throated roar. Excitement and panic blended in equal measures on his face, Bones dashed what Jim thought might have been cleverly disguised tears from his eyes.
"You sly son of a bitch!" Jim wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a complement or a curse, but Bones didn't look too certain either.
"Decisions can be appealed-"
"I wa'n't gonna fight this, Jim. Years in the black and you think they're gonna give me the right to come waltzing back into 'er life whenever I damn well please? 'S not fair to anyone!"
"You think Joanna agrees?" Jim kept his tone subdued and gestures placating. "I think she'd be happy to see her father on any terms."
"How the-" Bones cut off, burying his face in his hands, but Jim knew precisely how that one had been about to end.
"Hell, Bones. I'd've killed to see my dad. If he'd shown up on my fucking sixteenth birthday and asked if I wanted to take my dirt bike for a spin I would've been the happiest damn kid in the universe, and I didn't even get a chance to meet my father. Jo knows you; she trusts you to look out for her, and that's why you're going to dig out your dress uniform, march to Pike's office and tell him you're ready for hell."
"Hell's right." Bones' neutral expression was firmly in place, but he had a white-knuckled grip on that chair. "Jocelyn's goin' to be supervising this visit, and she'll be none too pleased about being called to task."
" Well fuck her anyway; I got your back, Bones. Pike does too. You'll have your visitation rights, and we'll find a way to make it work."
"That your final word on the matter, captain?" Bones' voice was hoarse, like he was choking back sobs even as he spoke, but Jim appreciated how much the frail attempt at humor must have cost him and resolved to leave him alone for a few hours, maybe make himself a nuisance over at Uhura's place while Bones decided how he was going to feel about this new development.
"It is."
!
!
Poor Jim, it's never that simple. :p