The first break up didn't hurt. Hell, the fifteenth break up didn't hurt. Because, at the end of the day, she knew that she could still go back to him. Or maybe it was that he knew he could always go back to her. Perhaps that's what made the end of the relationship inevitable—the fact that they treated each other as a safety net, a backup plan, a second option. It wasn't until May 9th that her heart broke; the day that he walked away as she was sobbing in a park. The day where he said what they both were always thinking—that they would never work out in the long run, that they were incompatible. No, her heart didn't break, it was crushed. Broke makes it sound as if it were a clean break, two halves that could be put together. But the reality was she would never be the same, she would never feel comfortable letting someone in as much as she did him. Never again would she tell someone about her family troubles or her fears or her hopes and dreams. Because the only thing Courtney Satella could rely on was herself.

And for that heartbreak, all Courtney could manage to say as Trent packed his things was, "I hate to see you go."

Trent latched his guitar case and turned back to her. They had all returned back to the hotel. In a sick turn of events, Trent was the only contestant who lied that was still in the game. The producers offered the option for Trent to stay, but he turned it down. He knew he had lost.

Trent placed a kiss on her cheek (she flinched), "Eh, it'll be okay. One less person for you to beat when you win this game."

"This is true," she laughed awkwardly. She still wasn't entirely sure where the two of them stood, but now was definitely not the time to discuss it. Her mind was completely wrecked after Gwen's confession, and to be completely honest, while it may have helped Duncan look like a better guy, it didn't take back his words as he left her on the bench the night he ended things. It didn't take back the fact that he blocked her, got new social media, did anything and everything he could to completely cut her out of his life. And, the sad thing is, she had to just accept it. Because, at any point in time, someone in their lives could decide they wanted nothing to do with them anymore, and that's just how life was. Trent wasn't Duncan; Duncan wasn't Trent. It didn't matter who either of them was or is, what mattered is that Courtney had gone through too much heartbreak. After watching her father leave, after watching her mom do nothing but sob for months, after staring at a broken violin deciding that's all she amounted to, she had officially given up. She couldn't deal with any more heartbreak, and it wasn't until she was on the verge of losing Trent that she realized this.

His eyes narrowed, "What's wrong?"

Courtney sucked in a breath, "Nothing, I was just worried about you. I'm so happy you're okay."

And that was the truth, he was okay. That's all she needed from him, for him to be okay. Just like that's all she needed for Duncan. Her mind was muddled with fear. She was vulnerable and it was her fault. She allowed herself to become attached to Duncan, even Trent in a small way, and her happiness somehow became dependent upon him. When he left, she went numb. She cried herself to sleep only to be woken up by dreams about him. There was no escape. She felt like there was no one for her. She still felt like that, but she was a C.I.T., no way was she letting herself repeat her mistakes.

"You're lying," Trent stated bluntly as he set his guitar down.

He was right. She was lying, but how could she let herself feel anything again? She let herself find this temporary happiness within Trent and she was disgusted with herself. She felt as if she used him, and that once again she let herself feel happiness through another person. Trent wasn't going to make her happy forever; when she was left alone with her thoughts, she still thought about that night. She still heard his words ringing in her head. She still often cried herself to sleep. Trent couldn't fix that, and she shouldn't expect him to. He obviously had his own problems he needed to sort through, and she needed to stop being a stupid, selfish girl.

The silence had grown uncomfortable and Trent pulled her in for a hug. She just remained motionless in his arms. "I don't know what you're going through," Trent sighed. "But I'm here for you, I always will be. I promise."

She pulled herself out of his arms. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep."

Here is a really short chapter. I'm sorry for the long breaks in between chapters and hope you enjoy.