Annie1117 … thank you for your review and hope you had a good new year.

Hope everyone who reads this and any of my stories will have a good 2011

On with a Ben and Meg moment.

Chapter 10

Knowing Meg would follow in a moment or two Ben led his sleepy but still chatty son from the bathroom into the guest room. Immediately sizing up the room he placed Benjy's teddy bear on the bed, then gently sat his son beside it and quickly altered the pillows so they could be used. Then getting Benjy's attention again he gently reminded him not to run around if he woke early and to call if he needed to come down and took the boy's shoes off.

Hearing Benjy's sleepy response of, 'okay sleep now play with cuzzy later', Ben then lifted him up again and this time laid him on the bed so the boy's head rested on the pillow. As the boy immediately curled up in his usual sleeping position Ben handed him his teddy, which was drawn into a sleepily cuddle as Benjy finally ran out of steam. Satisfied he was okay Ben put one of the small lightweight blankets left on the side over his son and kissed him on his forehead quietly wishing him and teddy a good nap, and saw him snuggle down without opening his eyes.

Knowing his son had a tendency to fidget or move sideways in his sleep and had landed on the floor more than once before waking enough to save himself, Ben pushed two straight back chairs together against the bed to make a barrier. He knew Meg would be the natural stop the other side and hoped Benjy wouldn't unconsciously decide now was a good time to try moving down the bed instead or would wake up before he got there…..

His job done Ben stood in the near silent room at the end of the bed watching his sleeping son cuddling his teddy bear and was nearly overwhelmed by the emotions that were washing over him. That were mixing with the renewed knowledge he'd been watched by his own father and mother. Could have been watched over by his aunt and uncle, even his older brother or possibly his twin, who might have even slept beside him. And the if only's and what ifs churned through in his mind as did 'that' longing for the impossible. As it all became too much for him, with a gasp for air he walked over to the window to look unseeing at the view.

A new general view that would become familiar to him in the future and heard a gentle, loving grounding "Talk to me Ben." followed by the feeling of his soulmate coming up beside him and tucking herself close to him.

There was no thought of refusal as he automatically put his arm around her shoulders as she tucked in beside him. Feeling her body beside his, smelling her favourite scent he started to come back to the here and now. To know he wasn't that little lost boy who'd shut down his past in a flash of shock and pain anymore. He was an adult who'd been loved as a child by two sets of parents and one set into adulthood. And he'd found the love of soulmate and her parents, and was now amazingly enough was going to get to know his own family and fill in the missing pieces of his life …

As Meg had silently come into the room she'd seen Ben walk quickly over to the window and automatically checking that her son was asleep she realised what had happened. Pushing the door nearly closed so they could be private she knew he'd accepted his identical twin but hadn't had time to really process having a brother and Uncle and Aunt because Benjy had needed his full attention on the way up the stairs. He had needed reassurance that Grandpa would still be his, that sharing meant that and not losing grandpa to Cuzzy Simon. She'd smiled and smothered a laugh at their conversations about grumpy grandpa and knew Benjy was reassured it would be fun and Simon would be special as would his other new cousins … a baby girl and Derek. And then he'd put the boy to bed and the silence of the room with the picture of sleeping boy and teddy bear had got to him.

So not wanting to startle him she'd called to him and approached him in her usual manner ready for that gentle touch on her shoulder by way of a polite rejection if he needed space or an arm round her shoulder and side embrace if he wanted her. Feeling his arm round her shoulders she knew as she'd expected he wanted her next to him and let the silence wrap around them reckoning he wasn't seeing the view. It was so much for him… them to take in … and watched while letting her own thoughts about the new family settle.

After a moment or two she felt him relax slightly against her, he wasn't actually leaning against her for support it just a gentle unconscious movement that happened between them and she knew he was coming back to her. To the room and wasn't where ever his mind had taken him. Shifting so she could see him better and hoping for the whole truth not just what he thought she wanted to hear Meg asked gently. "How do you feel about all this?"

Having felt her move and hearing her voice Ben turned his attention to her and gently brushing his hand through her long dark hair then letting it rest on her shoulder he took in the look of concern and love in her eyes before admitting softly. "Amazed, confused and yet somehow whole."

He gave a gentle sigh and carried on. "Part of me fully understands why Sally and George did what they did, the other wishes they'd found the courage, time, money whatever to come over and claims us. To watch over us as we slept … as we had our afternoon naps or grew up. But, the adult in me knows my adopted parents wouldn't have let me go, though they might have paid for visits by Ted and family or to my twin when we were old enough to understand things properly. So really Sally and George were right to do what they did, it meant I could be loved by my adopted family without guilt. And now I hope I will be given the chance to love these new families as well as help mend any pain that decision caused them. It could not have been easy for them."

As he stopped for a moment Meg could feel her own emotions join his, though she knew they were mild compared to his and raising her hand gently brushed away that errant tear that ran down his cheek. And then resting her hand on his arm added gently. "You will and it won't be the same as the clan back home you'll see." She knew the families' infighting and politics over the inheritance as he grew up had made him wary as to who to love and trust, and who gave real love, trust and respect back. She also reckoned that handing back a child they'd just got to love would have been too painful even without the thing about the inheritance so they'd accepted the barrier they'd come across. Also knew their own love had been clouded by that adopted label and it had been his own quiet strength and her parents' wisdom that had saved it and gently added. "The ones who really care will come and see us here so we'd need only go back to visit …" she hesitated slightly suddenly not wanting to use the words parents or mum and dad so decided to go with the formal title adding. "your adopted parents graves after our daughter is born. You know they loved you completely and we can take the whole family and stay at the Sheriff's or Judge's mansion's." Those two families being brother and sister to his adopted parents were in the close band that loved and respected him unconditionally as did their now adult children.

With her words and voice grounding him giving him a link to the future Ben glanced out to the view as he answered softly."You are right and they'd love to come, make it their seaside holiday. I would like to introduce my family to my childhood home when they come over from the UK there were a lot of good times ..."

Giving a gentle sigh he moved so they were comfortable beside each other again and felt safe to admit. "I keep wondering if I'll wake up in a second or two and find we've only just discussed leaving with your parents. Or it's our last day in our home or possibly we are on our way to Sunrise, we've had our first night in a hotel. That this is because I've relaxed , we don't need our minders to go out shopping or when I'm on call. There's no need to worry that the delay will mean the death of patient or the worry make you ill or dread the knock on the door. And that now I've lost my adopted parents and been released for any obligation I can find my birth family, and this is the new beginning I want for us … ….

Meg always knew the repercussions of those dark hours with Tim had hit him harder than he let on. Had often wondered in her own dark hours that Tim's family had wanted their problem son buried rather than having treatment and that was why they were being a pain, Ben hadn't got him killed for them. She knew he was still adjusting to the loss of his adopted parents, had felt the mixed reactions of those in the clan who'd expected him to renege on the Will because he wasn't one of them, and being proved wrong didn't know how to apologies for their suspicions or two faced attitude over the years. And understood his need for a family and gently resting against him pleased he was truly opening up to her said softly. "I honestly don't think your mind would have come up with all of this do you?"

Ben chuckled softly as he moved so they could look at each other again and smiled, he loved that loving tone of hers that could lighten his darkest thoughts, the twinkle in her eyes along with that gentle smile and answered truthfully. "No you're right I don't think I would, an older brother or sister perhaps. Certainly not all at once." then knowing how strange this felt for him asked her. "What about you. You can see two of me, and our families are so similar and now there's a brother…"

Meg butted in with a gentle laugh recognising his need to change direction and moving so they could walk towards the bed as she needed to rest answered. "Having the extra family is great and I admit it feels strange. And it felt strange, but being with your twin and family over the meal and just now makes it feel normal. New place and new family. I know though he looks like you he is different to you. I don't get the same tingle I get from you so there is no danger of crossover love. More a brother/sister love and I know Maria feels the same that we can be sisters rather than rivals or be intimidated by each other."

Glancing at him she knew he understood she wouldn't be jealous of his extra close connection with his twin, she'd always been close to Sara and added. "It will be alright for you two to have different ideas and squabble like Sara and I do, you are two people after all. And Benjy's fine he's got a new playmate, one he knows he can trust because his daddy is like you. Add in a very protective detective, Mum and a grumpy grandpa and things will be fine."

Seeing the smile she loved spread across his face, they both quietly laughed at the last bit and then drew together and kissed. The kiss of equal love, understanding as well as relief it was all real and this was going to be their tomorrow, their new life … even if he didn't have a job or home as yet.

Then as they broke apart still feeling their unique connection and love Meg added gently. "Go find your twin and talk. You both loved your adopted parents as you should have so there shouldn't be any guilt between you or rest of your family."

Arranging the pillows so she would be comfortable on the bed Ben said gently."You see so much...

Meg slipped her shoes off and getting on the bed butted in gently. "You give me so much as well. You said just now you feel whole that's not going to go away. You two need to talk, be alone together and adjust. Maria said he likes sailing and wants us to go on their boat once our daughters are born, she also wants to paint horses riding along the sands on the other beach that's out of sight but has never had the chance. I'm sure Mum and Dad will join you if you find the horses and I can watch…."

Watching her snuggle down so she was comfortable as she talked Ben handed her the other small blanket and gently finished her sentence. "and take photos of us. And you are right we can take our time to share things, use this time to talk and get used to each other. You sleep, you know Benjy won't stay down long, come to the top of the stairs and call so I can carry him down. I told him no running around if he wakes early but I doubt he'll remember."

Meg reached up and brushed her hand gently across his cheek and said lovingly back. "I will don't worry. Now go."

With a sigh Ben clasped her hand and kissed it, then with a gentle loving laugh he let go and started to walk away. He stopped as he reached the door and looked back at her, saw she had settled down and her eyes were closed as though like Benjy she was instantly asleep and said softly. "Thank you for everything." and turned to open the door, then walked across the landing to go down the stairs and find his twin brother.

Hearing his loving tone and words Meg resisted opening her eyes knowing he would stay and talk. Hearing his footsteps taking him away from her she smiled knowing she had no reason to fear any more. He was right there would be no dreaded phone calls or knocks on the door and they would be happy here. This was after all the town where the sun met the beach each day… …

Oxoxo

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