Rain leaned against the wall and sunk to the floor. Her entire body went numb. She berated herself for her stupidity, finding all of her flaws in hindsight. Violet had warned her. Hell, even Lupin had warned her. She didn't listen, and now she would have to live with the consequences of her severe lack of judgment, the worst being the memory of his words: "I don't love you and I never will." The wound still fresh, she felt the pain sink deeper. A minute could have passed, or an hour, she didn't know, as she wept until a chilling voice broke the silence.
"You've chosen to fall in love with a very complicated man."
Her head whipped up and she gasped at the sight before her. Sirius Black himself, dressed in the torn uniform of an Azkaban prisoner that hung from his skeletal frame, slowly crept out of the shadows.
Rain scrambled to her feet and tried to run but he caught her arm and put his hand over her mouth.
"Be still," he said as she struggled violently to break free. "Rain, isn't it? I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to let you go, as long as you promise not to scream."
She slowly ceased her resistance and he felt safe in removing his hand.
Rain forced the words from her throat and when she did, her own boldness surprised her. Perhaps she felt she had nothing left to lose. "I'm not going to hurt Harry, so don't bother asking."
Sirius smiled. "Spoken like a true Gryffindor. No, I would never harm Harry, nor any student or teacher in this castle."
"Rubbish," she said. "You broke into the common room and stood over-"
"Ron Weasley's bed with a knife?"
"Well, maybe you just confused his bed with Harry's."
"It's been several years since I've seen my godson, but I'm certain he hasn't sprouted red hair in the meantime."
"Then...then what do you want?"
"Peter Pettigrew."
Rain searched her memory for where she'd heard that name before. "...Your friend from Hogwarts?"
"That man is no friend. He is the one responsible for James and Lily Potter's death, along with the mass murders I am accused of. I am innocent and I will prove it as soon as I find him."
"He isn't here. Professor Lupin would have seen him."
"Remus doesn't look for Peter. He believes he's dead, along with the rest of the world. If he were, he'd spot him in a heartbeat."
"Where is he then?"
"Like me, Peter is an unregistered animagus. He's Ron Weasley's rat."
Rain scoffed. "Scabbers? He's been with that family for-"
"Twelve years. Do the math."
Everything made sense when she judged the events next to Harry's age.
Sirius continued. "From what I heard of your...limited conversation with Remus, you can speak to animals?"
Rain blushed. "Yes. And I've never heard Scabbers say anything that would indicate he's more than a common rat."
"That's not surprising. The animal suits him, so much so that we nicknamed him Wormtail, but Scabbers is indeed a man in a rat's body. He listens and knows who you are, and has probably made special effort not to say anything that would give himself away around you."
"I...I have no reason to believe anything you're telling me," Rain said. "How do I know it's the truth?"
"Because if I am who everyone thinks, without a single objection to killing a man I held as my brother, then why would I spare your life as I've done?"
"You want to use me as you've done Crookshanks?"
Sirius cocked his head. "That would be a clever deduction, but no, I won't force you to do anything. I will, however, ask that you watch for Peter. And when you do, tell me if he's missing any appendages that may have been found twelve years ago at the scene of my supposed crime. If you do, you will know I'm telling the truth. Then grab a hold of him and do not let him go. Crookshanks will know how to find me."
"Scabbers is missing. I haven't seen him since the school year started."
"Which means the cat is doing his job. As I said, keep watch."
"You can bet I will."
Rain stepped forward to leave.
"Forgive him. Remus. He...has his reasons for saying what he did."
Rain took a shallow breath. "Yes, he named every single one of them."
"You are his student. I can hardly believe he had the audacity to tempt it in the first place."
"He wouldn't have. We met over summer and I didn't tell him I still attended Hogwarts. It was my fault, like everything else."
Sirius nodded. "That makes much more sense."
"That's all I am willing to discuss, I think. I will do as you've asked. Goodbye."
"He will push you as far away as possible before allowing you to come closer. It's just his way."
"I will let him have it, then."
When she arrived back at the Gryffindor portrait, Sir Cadogan was gone. The Fat Lady had returned and with her, a new password. Rain stood dumbfounded, the Fat Lady staring at her expectantly. Her head and eyes were so heavy and all she wanted was the refuge of her pillow. She looked to her feet and around the floor, defeated, then staggered to an empty spot. The feeling of her heart falling through a bottomless pit kept her awake for several hours before exhaustion finally forced her to sleep.
"Ms. Marquis," a voice scolded.
Rain's hip dug into the hard floor and ached. She rolled onto her back, opening her eyes. When the haze cleared, she recognized McGonagall above her, along with many other staff members as they made their way to breakfast. Rain's pitiful appearance had no impact on the furious Transfiguration professor.
"Is your bed no longer adequate?"
"I..."
"The morning after Sirius Black breaks into the castle, no less?"
Rain had no excuse ready.
"I think this is my fault, Minerva."
Rain felt a shock pulse through her stomach. It was Lupin. He descended a few stairs around Snape and Flitwick to stand beside McGonagall. Rain couldn't look at him.
"I asked Rain to accompany me to the owlery last night to ask if any of them had seen Sirius enter or escape from their vantage point. I didn't realize the portrait had changed after I sent her back to the tower. She must have been locked out."
Rain despised him trying to help, as if it could ever atone for his treatment mere hours before. If he wanted nothing from her, she wanted nothing from him.
"Thank you, Professor, but no. I didn't return to my dormitory when you instructed me. By the time I arrived back, Sir Cadogan was gone. It's no one's fault but my own."
Lupin frowned at her.
"What were you thinking?!" McGonagall erupted. "I don't care how old you are, it is absolutely inexcusable."
"Yes ma'am."
"Rosmerta would be furious. Her only sister died to protect you and you wander about the castle with a killer on the loose?"
"Please don't tell her. It will never happen again."
"Since this is the first time I've had this conversation with you in the seven years you've attended Hogwarts, I will allow you to tell her yourself. In the mean time, you will serve detention. Tonight, in fact. Professor Snape was just telling me how dirty his cauldrons have grown."
Rain nodded and MgGonagall gave her one final reprimand with her eyes before gathering her skirts and proceeding down the stairs, followed by the other teachers. Lupin stayed. Before he could say anything, the portrait swung open and out came Lavender Brown. Rain seized the opportunity and darted through. She didn't want to hear a word he had to say. She crossed the common room, climbed the stairs to her dormitory and entered. Violet stood in front of the mirror adjusting her tie. The other girls had gone to breakfast. She looked at Rain with a sly smile.
"Things went well, I presume?"
That's when Rain fell apart. She stumbled to her friend and collapsed into her arms.
Lupin sat in his office after the most difficult day teaching yet. Even on past occasions when his lycanthropy slowed his step, he knew that in time, those wounds would heal. Now he suffered a different kind. He'd told the person he loved that her worth only matched the rise and fall of his carnal moods. That the perfect kiss she'd given him wasn't good enough. He'd taken the gift of her trust and forsook it, but only after enjoying the benefits. If she never spoke to another man it would directly stem from his carelessness.
To make it all worse, he'd left Rain to fend for herself the night before, locked out of the common room. What if something had happened? What if Sirius had returned? This had gone far enough. He would march to Dumbledore's office and demand to resign. Nothing could justify his behavior. No matter how essential the headmaster felt his presence, he would only continue to poison a place that should be a safe haven for every student, including Rain.
He heard a knock at his door.
"Harry," he said with a smile. "Come in."
"Hello Professor."
It stung every time Harry addressed him so formally. In another life, he would have been akin to an uncle, coming to dinners and birthday parties. How he hated to think of the memories they should have. Harry sat in the chair opposite him.
"I was just checking to make sure you could still help me practice my patronus on Saturday."
"Oh, yes, of course. Thank you for reminding me."
Harry smiled. Lupin saw James then. Lily, too.
"I'm really glad you're here this year. Not just because you're the best Defense teacher we've ever had, but I like hearing your stories about my mum. Besides my aunt, you're the only person who really knew her. And given that my aunt doesn't approve of magic, you're also the only one who speaks of her like she wasn't a freak."
Lupin looked at his desk. Lily didn't deserve that, especially from a sister she always defended.
"I hope you'll stay next year, and the year after. They say this job is jinxed, but I'm willing to bet you know how to defeat something as simple as that."
"I'll...do my best, Harry."
Harry smiled again and rose. "See you at dinner."
"See you at dinner."
He looked at the calendar on his desk. Three months of the school year left. Three months he could grin and bear it. He repeated these words to himself at dinner, watching Rain poke at her food with her fork, dirty from detention with Snape, disinterested in her peers. Then the next day during class as she sat lifeless, staring out the window.
"Now that you have all mastered your patronuses, we will move onto our final objectives of the year, the most important of which is resistance to the Imperius Curse. Though it is an Unforgivable and hoped that you will never encounter it in your lifetime, that won't shield you from the possibility. Seventh year students at Hogwarts have special permission from the Ministry of Magic to practice this skill in this classroom only. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Sir," the class responded.
"Resisting a spell like this requires a degree of Occlumency. You must clear your mind. The Imperius will try to take control of the areas in your brain that govern logic and choices, making it extremely difficult to resist doing the wrong thing because a voice is literally telling you to do the opposite. Now, as a way to test the waters, you will pair up. One of you will instruct the other to raise their right arm. I trust you know the consequences if you decide to bewitch your partner into doing anything otherwise."
As he predicted, Violet and Rain walked to the corner. Rain rose her wand and Violet struggled but soon rose her arm, as all of the other students did. When they switched places, Rain squeezed her eyes shut, trying with all her might to resist. Her arm shook but eventually succumbed, inch by inch. She let out an exasperated sigh and sat down.
"I can't do this today," he heard her lament. "My head has too much in it."
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Violet assured her, sitting down too.
When the class ended and all of the students filed out thoroughly frustrated, Lupin thought of an idea. "Rain, can I speak to you a moment?"
She couldn't refuse his instructions in front of her classmates. Her shoulders dropped as she watched them leave. The door closed and he knew he should speak first.
"I would understand if you wished to transfer out of my class."
"What?"
"Defense Against the Dark Arts is only required until your fifth year. Given the circumstances, if you wanted to leave, I would arrange it for you."
Rain glowered at him. "He was right. You're going to push me as far away as possible."
Only one other person in his life had ever said those words to his face. "Where...did you hear that?"
She looked away and back again. "Nowhere. Who says I heard it from anyone?"
"You did. You said 'he was right'."
"I must have misspoke."
"That would be a first," he said, crossing his arms. "What happened after we...after I left Monday night?"
"Given the circumstances, I don't think I should tell you," she said, then quickly turned and walked out the door.
Could she have...? Could Sirius really...?
He wanted to follow and question what she meant, but couldn't. He had already risked enough by spending time alone with her that day, for the next night the moon would be full. The last thing he needed was for Moony to undo Lupin's chaos with chaos of his own.
March passed bitterly, even as frost receded from the ground. Rain did not drop Defense Against the Dark Arts. She couldn't have explained why. Lupin's rejection replayed each time she walked in the room and she hated herself for going through with it, then hated leaving even more. Some pathetic voice in her head convinced her that maybe he would apologize as long as she stayed in front of him but he never did.
One day after Snape substituted she stayed behind. The students vacated and Snape returned to his laboratory. Rain climbed the staircase and entered Lupin's empty office. This was as close as she could come to him anymore. She ran her hand over his record player and tea kettle, thinking that regardless of how he felt, or if Sirius's words were true, he'd made up his mind. She had to accept it. Asking why only made her think hope existed on some other road. Obviously his reasons for distancing himself outweighed any positive benefit she'd brought to his life.
Rain moved seats to the back row and never raised her hand, keeping her eyes on a book she'd smuggled onto her lap and promising herself that as soon as she improved resistance to the Imperius Curse she would end it and transfer. On the next essay, she received her parchment back with a simple grade at the top and the words, As a reminder, exam questions are based off of my lectures.
"Did he write that on yours?" she asked Violet.
Her friend sheepishly shook her head.
Rain tore the essay in two. Maybe sooner rather than later.
She spent a lot of time alone. Violet tried to help, but her and Oliver's happy relationship only emphasized Rain's loneliness. Naturally, she couldn't confide in Rosmerta. The last time she mentioned a crush, her aunt got so excited pestering her for his name that Rain could hardly tell the story, much less ask for advice. In this case, no advice could apply other than "forget it." She often sat at the fireplace staring at the flames licking the wood, her blank homework sitting in front of her, failing to convince her to complete it. On one such night, she heard a group of third years enter the room.
"I think you owe me an apology," Hermione Granger said.
"Like hell I do!" Ron Weasley shouted back. "Scabbers only went missing as long as he did because your beast of a cat tried to kill him! He's terrified!"
"He would never," Hermione retorted.
Rain looked and saw Ron shielding his rat in his arms from the gaze of Crookshanks in Hermione's. As they sat with Harry at a table to do their homework, Rain held out her hand to signal Crookshanks to come. He did. Sirius must have spoken with him.
Don't go after Scabbers just yet, Rain told him with a purr. I must see this for myself.
As you wish, he replied, wandering out of sight.
Rain rose and approached Ron. "Scabbers looks awfully distressed. May I speak with him and see if I can calm him down?"
"Sure, Rain, thanks a lot," Ron replied, handing him over. "See Hermione, distressed. I'm not the only one who thinks so."
He plopped the fat, unassuming rat into Rain's hand. She smiled and he relaxed, then she strode over to the fireplace, sitting down and putting him on her lap. She pet him gently and massaged his feet. The rodent closed his eyes, readying to take a nap. Then she noticed: a missing claw. Rain knew the story well enough to remember that all they ever found of Pettigrew was his finger.
"Wormtail," she said, but in the language of humans, as an animagus should understand. The rat bolted upright. She narrowed her eyes. "It's you, isn't it?"
He wasted no time. The rat bit her finger hard and scurried off of her lap.
"Ouch!" she gasped as she stood, trying to find him.
"Scabbers?!" Ron called.
"See? He isn't just frightened of Crookshanks! Your rat is going mad, Ronald!" Hermione cried.
As if on cue, Crookshanks sprung from the shadows and trailed Scabbers out of the common room and into the stairway of the castle.
"I'll try and find him, Ron. Stay here," Rain said and ran after him.
Sirius Black was right all along. Now she must help an innocent man prove it.
"Professor?"
Violet appeared in Lupin's office right before the castle would unwind for bed.
"Violet, what a surprise, come in," he said, filing the last of his papers away.
"I was wondering...have you seen Rain?"
He pretended not to know why she would ask. He hoped, prayed Rain hadn't shared every detail of their history with Violet. How humiliating that would be.
"No, I haven't I'm afraid," he answered.
Violet stooped. "I can't find her anywhere. Ron Weasley told me she'd gone out to find his rat, Scabbers, and hasn't returned. I don't want to get her in trouble, but I'm worried."
"That's very peculiar," Lupin replied.
"Yes, even more so because she was talking to Scabbers right before he bit her and ran away. That sort of thing never happens. Animals love her. The other kids thought they heard her say something about a worm's tail? I don't know. This is the information I gathered through Ron and Hermione's shouts at one another."
Lupin's mouth fell open, then he gathered himself. "I will go and search for her now. You ought to go to bed. Don't worry, I'm sure she's safe."
He tried to make his words soothing but the panic in him shooed Violet out the door much faster than he meant to. Lupin grabbed his cloak and wand, running down the stairs as soon as she vacated the room.
Sirius has gotten to her.