Chapter 10
14 years ago...
Cersei was furious when she learned that Jaime was planning to abandon her with her new husband. Going to Casterly Rock for a child's first birthday was ridiculous and she couldn't fathom that a one year old would even be aware of such a day, or even notice who did or didn't come.
It was bad enough that after recently losing her own child she would have to suffer being left alone in a castle with a man who clearly hated her, a man who was in love with a dead woman.
So when it was time for him to go, she made a split second decision to go with him. After all her husband didn't care if she left, or even came back for that matter.
Upon arrival her father ordered Jaime to meet with him leaving Cersei to wander around their childhood home in boredom.
She decided to visit her mothers quarters, as she always did when she came home. She always felt closer to her mother as she sat in her chair, the same chair her mother would as she watched her and Jaime play together. She felt that being in that same chair would somehow bring back her spirit, and she wouldn't be so alone in this cold, cruel world.
As she passed several of the guests rooms she heard a cry that made her freeze. Against her better judgment she went to the room where the cries were becoming increasingly louder. Through the open door she noticed one of the milkmaids feeding the small girl with golden curls that had started to drift asleep. Deciding she didn't want to be caught showing any sort of attention to the child, so she quickly left and proceeded to her mothers quarters.
She spent about an hour there until she decided to go and see if her father was finished with Jaime.
Passing the door to the child's room once again, she decided to peek in. Without her knowing it, her feet took her to the babes cradle where she was softly snoring in a deep sleep. Cersei thought she looked just like the small dolls she used to have when she was a girl. The babe murmured in her sleep, small little bow-lips pouting ever so slightly. She also couldn't help but notice that child had her lips. Suddenly she reached out and, careful not to be seen, ran a finger over the babes soft pale cheek.
And then a voice from behind her spoke.
"Don't tell me you've finally noticed how adorable she is," Jaime taunted.
Cersei groaned. Men. Worthless, all of them.
"How long have you been here?" he asked, making his way to stand beside her as they both stared down at the little doll.
"Not long," she said as she watched him start to reach for the sleeping babe.
Before he could disturb her, she reached out and slapped his hand. 'You'll wake her up!"
"I want to see her, its been too long and we came all this way," Jaime argued.
"You're entirely too mushy when it comes to Ella," Cersei declared, a slight smirk on her lips.
Jaime didn't bother denying it. He was quite aware that she really found his little unnatural fixation with everything to do with their baby sister very humorous and endearing.
"I am not," he replied, peeking at the sleeping child from the corner of his left eye, careful not to get caught.
"You're ridiculous," she barked before turning and storming out of the room. Slamming the door to prove a point. She smiled as she heard the babe wake and began to cry. Let him adore her while she's screaming.
xxx
Present Day...
Cersei isn't sure what she had expected, when she stepped into the throne room after hearing from one of her hand maidens that Joffrey was punishing the little dove publicly. So when she entered the throne room, she wasn't the least bit surprised at what she found.
Kneeling on the floor, Sansa clutches her torn dress over her small chest as she heaves with tears streaking down her too innocent face. And Joffrey... its a tad funny watching him aim that cross bow at the terrified girl.
None of this bothers her as much as it should.
Perhaps her hate for anyone with the name 'Stark' keeps her detached when it comes to their pain.
Perhaps she herself wishes to inflict pain on the poor girl for retribution for what Robb Stark has done. After all, the boy has her siblings hostage. She didn't bat an eyelash when Catelyn Stark took Tyrion. Yes, she pretended to be furious over it, but really she thought the women had done them all a favor.
But now, now they have the only man shes ever loved, the man who is her other half and the sister she always wanted to protect.
Knowing Robb Stark is probably torturing Jaime while raping Ella erases any sort of sympathy she may have had for the young girl.
When her eyes finally meet Joffrey's a chill runs down her spine. There's a darkness in his eyes, different from what she is used to with him. It reminds her of terrible things— things like what the Mad King was famous for doing. She also knows that no matter what he does, or plans to do, she will always be there for him.
He may be a monster, but hes her monster.
"Mother, so glad you could join us," Joffrey sneers.
Cersei doesn't miss the way he spits the word 'mother' at her. Like an insult rather than a term of endearment.
What a little shit he's become.
"I need Sansa's help with something," she says, making sure her tone is firm. He may be King but she would always be Queen. No matter what he would like to think.
"Ah, well as you can see we're busy. I'll have her brought to you when we're done."
Her gut tells her to stop this, that Jaime and Ella will suffer for his foolishness. And she's always trusted her gut since she was old enough to even remember. Things worked that way when you were a woman forced to play the game of thrones, you relied only on yourself and not the say-so of any other bastard trying to screw you over.
So, she is actually relieved when Tyrion arrives and puts a stop to things. She didn't have it in her to take sides with a Stark today. Or ever really.
xxx
"So, sweet sister of mine, what are your plans to make peace with Robb Stark so we can get our family back." Tyrion asks as he lazily puts his small legs over the side of the chair he is becoming far to comfortable in.
She glares at him until he smiles and moves his feet back to the floor.
"Shouldn't you be asking Joffrey this? He is the King, I hold no power here," she lies so easily and he clearly sees through it.
A snort escapes his lips before he reaches for her goblet of wine.
She wants to jump across the table and strangle him.
"No really. What are his demands exactly?" he asks.
"I thought you would know, didn't you just come from father?" he's testing her and she doesn't appreciate being played with, especially not by the likes of him.
"Ah, yes father is very unhappy about all of this," he says before he takes another gulp and smirks at her.
"He is quite disappointed that you would allow Joffrey to be so foolish as to remove Ned Starks head. Wouldn't it have just been easier to let him take his girls and go?" he asks.
"You keep acting as though I had some part in this. I can't control Joffrey anymore than you could become someone of importance."
He ignores that.
Worry suddenly crosses his face as he finishes his wine. "I've got spies that have told me Jaime is being kept in a cage like an animal. He's hardly recognizable."
"He's strong, he'll survive," she hopes.
"What about Ella? She isn't strong and spies tell me he's been bedding her. She's ruined if father doesn't arrange her release so she can marry, or worse marry the Stark boy. I've also heard that she goes to his bed willingly, that shes in love with him."
"You lying bastard," she hisses, furious that he would even suggest such a thing.
"You know I'm not. I wouldn't dare lie about her. You know how much I love her, we all do."
"Even if she is going to his bed willingly, shes his captive. She doesn't have a choice and I'm sure she's terrified of him, or maybe hoping if she stays in his bed he will release Jaime,"
Tyrion studies his empty goblet for a few moments.
"I know Ella, and she has a good heart. She will do anything to help Jaime. I'm afraid she's sacrificed herself to the wolves to save him."
Finally they agree on something, but of course she doesn't tell him that.
xxx
Ella watched from the warmth of the tent as Robb spoke outside with the guards. They had been sleeping for less than an hour when they awoke to cries coming from outside. Robb wouldn't allow her to come with him, but she was able to see from the tent what had happened. Some of the soldiers had been attacked while out patrolling. Most of the men died, but a few made it back but were all in bad shape. Robb was out helping the injured, wrapping bandages around some while speaking quietly with the dying ones, showing them that they would not die alone, or in vain.
She found it endearing how he treated his men, as if he were one of them. She knew that was one of the many differences between her father and Robb. She'd never seen her father help, much less bandage one of his injured men.
Robb cared about his people.
When they finally alone again, she helped him remove his clothes as he gave her a questioning look.
"What? Can I not help you undress?"
"Yes, but why?"
"I just want to show you how proud I am of you. The way you help your men, its sweet."
Robb rolls his eyes as he pretends to be insulted. "Sweet, I'm not sweet. Women are sweet, men, well we're supposed to be strong and firm."
Its time for Ella to roll her eyes as she grabs a rag and dips it into warm water before bringing it to the back of his neck. He closes his eyes and leans into her touch as she caresses him with it, luxuriated in the feeling of her taking care of him.
It was moments like these that she realized how much he meant to her. Her feelings also terrified her. She knew there was something strong in her that did not want to give him up, so how was she supposed to do it when the time came?
When she thought about it- And she had, she didn't know what she was going to really do. The only thing she really did know is that she is irrevocably and ardently in love with him and no matter what her heart would be broken.
xxx
A couple hours later Ella found herself watching him talk in his sleep. She was incapable of falling back asleep again, and the weight of it all was on her chest, leaving her emotionally exhausted.
She still needed to show Robb that note.
So why didn't she?
Her brain told her it was probably Theon, but her heart told her it wasn't.
What was she supposed to do? Roll over and pretend Jaime would be safe here, that Robb will keep him alive? Or, more ridiculous yet, should she betray Robb in the worst way by saving Jaime?
She wasn't being overly dramatic when she assumed earlier that Robb would wring her neck when she helped Jaime. Because, he would.
Jaime would risk his life for hers in a heart beat.
So with that final thought, Ella decided that yes, she would risk it all to get Jaime out of there.
So now, she was faced with the unpleasant task of dealing with Robb after she lets Jaime loose. Because she would not be running with him.
xxx
The next morning Ella walked on eggshells around Robb and his terrible mood. He had snapped at everyone who dared entered his tent while he went over the letters necessary letters and maps. Ella tried to stay quiet in the background until he had thrown his goblet off the desk, as he cursed her family.
"What is it?" she ventured, immediately regretting asking when he lifted his head to glare at her.
"Your father has been sending his men out to rape and pillage more villages. This time outside of White Harbor."
"I'm sorry," is all she can say.
"Why are you apologizing, you're not sending men to terrorize my people." Robb bit out.
"I'm sorry that he's hurting innocent people, and I'm sorry you're upset."
And just like that his anger fades. She exhales when he stands and approaches her on the bed.
The expression on his face as he stands over her makes her heart beat faster. He looks awestruck and bewildered yet determined as he cups her face and places a gentle but firm kiss against her forehead. She closes her eyes and savors his touch, so terribly sweet she swears she's going to cry if he doesn't cut it out.
When he pulls back his smile makes her laugh.
"What?" he asks, amused that shes finding this funny.
"Its nothing really,"
"No what's so funny?" he asks as he bends to force her to lay on her back as he crawls over her, pinning her under his strong arms.
"Nothing," she says as he starts to place teasing kisses that tickles along her exposed collar bone.
"Tell me," he mumbles against her skin.
"Fine. Its just you sometimes look at me like-, well like I'm the center of your world," she cannot believe she just uttered those words. She's an idiot.
He is no longer smiling. Instead his expression is completely serious. Finally when she is about to take it back, he speaks.
"That's because you are the center of my world," he confesses.
She can hardly breathe, and swallowing has become next to impossible.
"I don't think you realize how much you mean to me," he says as he lets his body weight cover her, pressing her into the small bed.
She stares up at him as her eyes water. Finally she figures out how to swallow again.
"I don't think you know how much you mean to me either," she finally admits.
He stares intently at her for a few moments before his lips meet hers.
She knows then, that while she still fully plans on letting Jaime go, she will never forgive herself for this betrayal. She knows he certainly won't.
xxx
After sharing a meal with his council, Ella fidgets under the table. Her hands are sweaty and she feels like she will pass out from dizziness if she has to stand anytime soon. Robb's mood has improved since this morning, and she knows their lovemaking was probably the cure he needed to help him relax. She fidgets in her seat as she feels his seed still spilling out of her. She feels gross and wants to take a bath but Robb has been taking her so often lately that it would be pointless when he ravages her again once they are alone.
A small voice in the back of her mind tells her she will no longer have to worry about it, that once she frees Jaime he will either kill her or throw her in her brothers cage.
She dismisses that thought knowing it will do no good to linger on it.
When the plates are taken away from their table, Robb gets down to business. He grips her hand under the table and she squeezes it reassuringly
"I wanted to discuss the deal Loras Tyrell has offered," Robb says in his commanding-no funny-business- end of the world- tone that only a Stark seems capable of.
Lord Umber is the first to respond, "Well tell us already, I've got some ale back in my tent that's not gonna drink itself,"
Everyone chuckles accept for Robb and Ella.
"Loras has offered us an alliance, his army will back Renly's claim as King of the South, while leaving the North as an Independent Country."
A few grunts of agreement are heard.
"But at what cost?" Lord Bolton interrupts.
Robb glances to Ella who nods reassuringly back at him. This part, they didn't ever discuss again and Ella is sure he will agree. It only makes sense that they join forces, even if it means Ella goes back to Willas, which will probably be for the best when Robb finds out what she's planning to do.
"They want me to hand Ella over to them," Robb's expression darkens and he starts to grip her hand so tight she winces.
Silence.
"Well, that doesn't seem so bad," Theon hollers from his place at the end of the table with a viscous grin.
Robb shoots him a look that promises pain as he grinds his teeth and sets his jaw.
" But she's yours now," Lord Umber bellows, shocking everyone including Ella who gapes at him. Even Robb's mouth is hanging open.
Ella nervously glances around at all of the men, who all seem equally shocked by Lord Umber's words.
"You can't be serious, shes a Lannister, the ENEMY!" Theon shouts back as he stands up, pounding his fists on the table.
"You're getting too big for ya breeches boy!" Lord Umber yells back as he too stands.
Robb sees this is getting out of hand and quickly stands too, letting go of Ella who is too shocked to do anything. She can feel Greywind right behind her, so close his fur is brushing her back. He lets out a low growl towards the men across from them.
"Now, lets discuss this calmly." Robb begins as Lord Umber turns on him.
"I've followed you all the way here, and I've fought for you, lost family for you. I declared you my King knowing you were going to be an honorable one. Now, I wouldn't have ever imagined myself saying this but I guess I'll have to. You are our King, and that means something to us all," he looks around at the men surrounding them.
Robb nods as Theon rolls his eyes.
"Anyone with eyes can see how you feel about her, and how she feels about you. I think we all can hear what you two are up to when you're alone in your tent," laughs are heard as Ella's face goes bright red.
"Now, I haven't said anything yet since we're at war, but you need to marry that girl before you shame her to all of Westeros," Lord Umber barks at Robb who's eyes have grown so wide it would be funny if she wasn't the one they were talking about.
"No!" Catelyn's voice is heard above everyone as she approaches them from behind. It was pretty clear she had been lingering near by listening in on their discussion.
Robb turns to his mother with a look so cold Ella feels bad for her.
"You can't do that," Theon shouts as he approaches Robb and grips his shoulders.
"Why would he listen to you kracken," Lord Umber yells.
"Because I'm his brother and this is insanity," Theon shouts back.
Surprisingly another much calmer voice interrupts them.
"GreatJon is right, you must marry her. If you don't, not only will her reputation will be damaged but yours as well. She's your captive, if the other houses find out you've bedded her without marrying her, they will turn their backs on you." Dacey Mormont says as she too stands.
"This is non-sense!" Cate screams as Theon agrees. "She's a Lannister, the enemy. You want a Lannister as your Queen?"
"I know I don't," Theon boasts.
Ella expects others to agree, but no one does.
"If you marry her, it could benefit our cause. This could divide some of the Lannister supporters. Taking her as your Queen shows you are willing to make peace." Edmure Tully states as Catelyn gasps and gives him a look of utter betrayal.
Robb seems to gain his confidence back as he sees some of the men supporting him. He stands tall again and speaks, commanding everyone's attention.
"I love her, and I will make her my Queen. We will marry in front of the old gods and I wish for you all to be there to witness for us. I want you to respect her not only as my wife, but your Queen." Robb's voice is so fierce, so commanding that for a moment Ella can only watch him in awe.
But then his words sink in.
No.
Thoughts that she purposely ignored before, now dominate her mind. Robb is sacrificing his sisters lives by keeping her, surely Joffrey and Cersei will do something terrible to them as revenge. Why would Robb even suggest this, knowing his sisters will be punished for his stupid decisions?
She wants to stand and tell them all to go straight to hell, tell them she isn't going to marry this man who keeps her brother in a cage.
She wants to tell them that while she loves and adores this boy, he is just that. A boy playing a mans game. He has been making some pretty questionable decisions lately, and now she finally sees that hitching her wagon to his may not be the smartest move she could make.
She wants to tell them they are all a bunch of idiot, back-wood Northerners for even considering this, and her father will slaughter them all for even suggesting it.
She wants to tell them that while she is very fond of her young Wolf (probably loves him) but for all of the previous reasons, she is going to politely decline.
She wants to, but the look in Robb's eyes stops her. He would not only be crushed, he would be humiliated.
She also doesn't fancy being in cage again.
So she looks around at all the faces surrounding her. Some seem resigned to this, some seem bored, some like GreatJon and Dacey Mormont seem to want this, and then some look flat out angry. Theon and Catelyn look furious.
Then someone else catches her attention.
Lord Roose Bolton is staring at her with a look that she cannot even begin to describe.
He looks as if he is trying to express something to her, something that she should already know.
When he gives her a small nod she figures it out.
The note.
Roose Bolton wrote that note, which means he is working for her father.
How she came to that conclusion she isn't really sure, but something in her gut tells her that its true.
His small nod is telling her to agree, for now.
So she slowly gets to her feet and reaches for Robb's hand and thanks them all as graciously as she can in this moment and then looks to Roose one last time as Robb pulls her back to their tent. Bolton gives her a look and mouths 'midnight'.
xxx
Before Robb can pull Ella into their tent, Catelyn approaches and pleads with Robb to speak with her. The look in her eyes tells Ella that she is about to rat her out for trying to get her to help her release Jaime.
When Robb blows his mother off and tells her he will speak to her in the morning Ella relaxes. By morning, she and Jaime will be gone. Even though she had decided to stay behind and face Robb, now she decides it would be utterly foolish of her. She's also a bit afraid of what Robb will do.