While the topic of Taeyeon's departure is no longer discussed, they decide to try telling Tiffany's father again. It's two days before he leaves on his business trip, and Tiffany opens the door for Taeyeon when she arrives. They smile slightly at each other as Taeyeon removes her shoes and Tiffany takes her hand to lead her to the living room.
Mr Hwang looks up in surprise before greeting her warmly. "Hello, Taeyeon! Came back for more of my wonderful cooking?"
Taeyeon grins. "Your food is perfect, Mr Hwang, especially when I'm feeling homesick. It's like being back in Korea again."
Her words make him chuckle. "You're good at flattering your elders, Taeyeon. Oh, I assume Tiffany has told you about my business trip?"
Taeyeon blinks, and nods. "Yes, sir."
He eyes their joined hands before continuing. "I know she's upset that I've asked her sister to come look after her, and I've been thinking about her opinions for a while now. She's right; it's unfair of me to ask her sister to come all the way here to look after her. And she is technically an adult now, but I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone in the house. She wants to move into the dorms and that's something we can talk about later, but I've decided on something else while I'm away on this trip."
Taeyeon glances at Tiffany and sees from her confused frown that she was not informed of this.
She meets Mr Hwang's eyes again. "Yes?"
"How about you come and stay here?"
They blink at him in shock.
"She can't go stay with you in your small dorm room, and this way you can have a bit of a break and maybe feel more at home in a real house. What do you think?"
Taeyeon and Tiffany glance at each other briefly, their eyes telling each other all sorts of things, before Taeyeon looks at Mr Hwang and nods.
"That sounds great, Mr Hwang."
They disappear to Tiffany's room soon after and huddle together by the closed door to whisper.
"What do we do now?" Tiffany frets. "If we tell him now and he gets angry, he won't let you stay with me. I really want you to stay with me, Taeyeon…"
Taeyeon holds her hands. "I know. This is a really good opportunity. It's okay; we'll just tell him when he comes back. Okay?"
Tiffany smiles at her and kisses her softly. Then she tugs on her hands to lead her to the bed and they sit down.
"Tell me about your regret, Taeyeon," she says quietly, her eyes sharp and focussed. "That big regret that showed you how dangerous hesitation can be."
Taeyeon takes a deep breath and exhales. She turns her body away from Tiffany, and leans back on her hands. Her face looks up to the ceiling and she ponders for a moment.
"I liked singing. I liked it a lot. It was pretty much all I did during my free time as a kid. I knew early on that it was all I wanted to do in my life. I didn't want to sit in some boring office punching keys on a computer or falling asleep in meetings – I wanted to soar on the wings of my voice. Well, the time came when one of the biggest entertainment companies in Korea sent a scout to a singing competition in my area. Everyone went nuts. This was a chance to turn singing into a career, a life. So I practiced and practiced and fretted about my chances; I knew I had a good voice but it takes more than that to be a professional. And, you know, the fear didn't really set in until I was almost there. With every step I took towards the venue, the thoughts washed over me, wave after wave of doubt and terror. Sure, I wanted to sing as a job, and I wanted it to be my life, but I kept thinking that this wasn't right. Someone would take it from me. If it became my job then I would have a boss and my boss could ruin everything at any moment. I would be taking my greatest love and leaving it in someone else's hands."
Taeyeon straightens up and looks down at the floor.
"And I was afraid of leaving my voice in someone else's control, because what if they thought I wasn't as good as I thought I was? It would crush me. People who knew things about the business would listen to me and it would turn out that I wasn't actually good at all. My dream would be destroyed, one way or another, in that instant that I stood before them and sang. So I ran away, and I never looked back, and I don't sing anymore."
"But why?" Tiffany asks. She scoots closer and wraps her arms around Taeyeon's waist. "Why did you stop singing? You could have kept it as a hobby."
Taeyeon smiles slightly and shakes her head. "No. It was all over. Every time I opened my mouth, the pain would appear and I would feel lost and confused. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't make myself sing."
Taeyeon purses her lips together tightly and breathes deep. Tiffany traces the outline of Taeyeon's mouth lightly, with the tip of her index finger, and places a soft kiss on the corner of her lips.
When Tiffany pulls back, she bites her bottom lip as if she wants to say something, her warm brown eyes flickering to Taeyeon's gaze. Then she just leans forward again and kisses Taeyeon slowly.
"I'm scared," she whispers hurriedly into the kiss. "I'm scared of telling my father about us. And I'm scared about being scared to tell him. I don't want to lose you because I'm hesitant to – to say to him, dad I'm in love with Taeyeon, to talk to him about our relationship, I don't want you to leave me because you already told your family and I'm scared."
Taeyeon brings her arms up and circles them around Tiffany's shoulders, gently stroking the back of her neck with her thumbs. "Shh, it's okay, it's okay. I'm here. And I'll still be here for as long as I can. Just calm down, and take your steps with me. Okay? I told you, now we're in a relationship, we'll figure out how to survive life together."
Tiffany stares at her for a long time, feeling the way her heart was beating faster and the way it felt as if she was being lifted up further and further with every moment she spent with Taeyeon. She had never felt such a strong feeling with anyone, and she's scared but excited because one thing she knows for sure is that every day is happier than the one before and it's all because of Taeyeon.
"Let's go tell him," she says firmly, standing up. "Come on."
She grabs Taeyeon's hand, pulls her along behind her, and a grin grows on her lips as they make their way back to the living room. Her father lowers his newspaper, and eyes her curiously when she stops in front of him with a big smile on her face and her fingers interlocked with Taeyeon's.
"Dad," she says, "I'm in love with Taeyeon, and she's my girlfriend."
His lack of reaction is downright terrifying for Taeyeon, who meets his quiet gaze with wide eyes.
"She makes me happier than anyone or anything in my life," Tiffany continues, still smiling brightly. "And she's absolutely amazing. She's one of the best people I've ever met, and it's incredible to me how she has learned a lot from life's difficulties. I was scared to tell you, dad, because I didn't want to lose either of you. But Taeyeon taught me a little something about hesitation, so I'm not hesitating anymore."
And it was true, in the way she was speaking, that Tiffany was confident and strong and clear. Taeyeon squeezes her hand and echoes her smile for a moment, looking at her.
Mr Hwang doesn't do anything for a moment. Then his newspaper rustles as he folds it and puts it neatly to one side. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and weaving his fingers together. He looks from Taeyeon to Tiffany to Taeyeon, and finally settles on Tiffany.
"Well," he says, and clears his throat awkwardly. "I wonder, Miyoung, if you remember that time a few years ago when you wanted to be a singer. You begged me to help you pursue your dream. And I thought to myself, no way am I letting my little girl throw herself into that world. Because I knew you would be good enough to rise to the top faster than a shooting star, and I was afraid for you because the top is a dangerous place to be in that world."
He takes a deep breath, glancing at Taeyeon again for a moment before locking eyes with his daughter.
"Similarly, I'm afraid for you now," he says in a frail voice. "I know what it's like to be in love, and I know gender is hardly an ingredient to falling in love. So don't get me wrong; I know Taeyeon is a great person, but I can't say I'm exactly ecstatic here. This is another thing that makes me fear for you. The world is changing but not fast enough for my taste. Sure there are people who aren't affected by the prejudices and so on, enough progress has been made for there to be a few people like that, but there are still many getting caught in the crossfire. I'm worried. I don't want you to be prey to those situations."
Tiffany comes closer to her father and settles on her knees in front of him, letting go of Taeyeon's hand to take his hands in her own. "Dad, I know what you mean. And I was scared you would let your fear for me get in the way again. But Taeyeon… Taeyeon means something deeper to me. When I'm afraid, I go to her, and she makes me feel better and she helps me to stand straight and carry on. Honestly, we haven't been dating long, but we've had this connection since the day we met and it just keeps getting stronger every day and taking me with it. So I understand that you're afraid, and I'm scared too, but I can do this with Taeyeon. We can figure out how to survive life together."
Mr Hwang sniffs for a moment, before letting go of his daughter's hands to wipe his eyes and make his expression firm again.
"You're growing up, my little girl. Your mother would be proud to hear you say things like this. And if she were here right now she would tell me that it's that time. That time that she warned me about when you were just a baby. It's time for me to let you go so you can live your life."
He stands up and stops in front of Taeyeon.
"You," he says sternly. "Are you the one who told my daughter all that sappy stuff about figuring out how to survive life together? That kind of sweetness is hard to come by these days. Don't give her diabetes."
He turns and wraps Tiffany in a tight hug, ignoring Taeyeon's baffled expression behind him.
"I'm not done with you two yet," Mr Hwang says to his daughter in their embrace. "But I want you to know that I won't stop you this time. You're right. The world is a dangerous place, but there are times when hesitation is even more dangerous."
He lets her go, takes his wallet from his pocket, and stuffs some bills in her hands. "Go get us some ice cream or something."
Tiffany eyes her father for a moment, smiling at him, and takes the money and Taeyeon's hand and leaves her father alone.
They're walking down the street, intertwined hands being swung happily by Tiffany, when Taeyeon speaks up.
"So… he's okay with it?"
Tiffany laughs briefly. "He's sort of okay with it. He's a pretty sensitive guy, you know, so he's probably crying a bit right now and that's why he asked us to leave. He's just letting it sink in that I'm not a kid anymore."
Tiffany stops and turns to Taeyeon. She pulls Taeyeon into a hug and sighs. "He's letting me be with you."
Taeyeon returns the hug, tightening her arms around Tiffany's waist, and closes her eyes before pressing her face into Tiffany's neck.
"Good."
They don't let go of each other's hands when they reach the store to buy ice cream. It feels different for Taeyeon, just like everything in America has felt different, to be holding hands with her girlfriend as they hover by the freezer to choose ice cream. She pecks Tiffany on the cheek, earning a wide smile in return that she effortlessly echoes.
And it's good.