DECONSTRUCTION
This chapter is set at the end of The War at Home. I know I left you with a cliff hanger in the last chapter, so this one will pick up from there….and it's the longest chapter I've written so far. But I wanted to get it all in and not end on another cliff hanger.
Thank you to Judyg for beta'ing….and so patiently letting me obsess and bounce ideas off of her.
CHAPTER 10
My mother's enraged voice is ringing in my ears as I stand outside her hospital room. In the room with Mom are her oncologist and three nurses, all trying to calm her down….or at least restrain her long enough to administer a sedative. Her tirade is centered around me, of course, and the many ways I've failed her through the years…..culminating in leaving her alone in the hospital for much of this Thanksgiving weekend. I knew she wanted me with her as she began this round of radiation, but I couldn't have foreseen the disappearance of a Deputy Police Commissioner's daughter on Thanksgiving Day.
The weight of people disappointed by me is crushing. So many people who want or need something from me, and I seem to fail them all. My mother, terrified of dying. My wife, the last time I saw her; progressing from begging me to stop taunting her to screaming at me to get out of her life. My children, settling into the routine of having a different home with each parent. My brother, absent for so long and always in need when I do talk with him. My partner, angry that I've pushed her away when all she's done is try to help. My captain, making excuses for me to Commissioner Dockerty.
Mom's voice is getting louder and I can hear Dr. Syleste speaking softly to the nurses. I know that any minute the nurses will grab my mother and immobilize her so that they can administer the sedative Dr. Syleste has ordered. How many times has this same scenario played out since I was seven years old? Every time I think that there must be something I should do, some way to stop it, to protect her.
I turn and face the wall, resting my forehead on my crossed arms. I close my eyes and take deep breaths, fighting back the tears that I learned at age seven would not change anything. There is no sound that alerts me to her presence, nothing for any of my five senses to pick up. But for some reason I raise my head to look around and she is there, standing on the other side of the doorway. Annie.
She doesn't say anything as we stare at one another. For once, her face reveals nothing and I know mine must be registering shock….not only at her unexpected appearance, but at her short hair. The children have not mentioned that she cut her hair, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised about that. They say as little as possible to me about their mother, and they are probably equally closed-mouthed about me.
We face one another in silence and time seems to stop. But then my mother's shrill "No!" breaks the spell. Taking a deep breath, Annie turns away from me and walks into the room.
Alex could feel Ally's eyes boring into her as she told the three children to place their orders with the waitress. Ally hadn't said more than a few words since her brothers woke her up with the news that they were going to breakfast with Aunt Alex. Alex tried to remember how long it had been since she last saw the children. It didn't seem that long ago, but she was surprised at how much all three had grown. And when had Ally become this sullen, withdrawn teen? As the waitress walked away, Ally broke her silence.
"So where is Mom?"
"Your mom," Alex told her, "is going to the hospital to see your grandmother and your father."
Ally gave a snort of disbelief. "You don't have to lie to us, Aunt Alex. We aren't little kids. Whatever Mom is doing, you can tell us."
Alex frowned at her and crossed her arms on the table in front of her, leaning towards Ally. "I don't lie, Ally Goren."
Even an angry, rebellious teenager was no match in a stare down with Alex Eames. Ally flushed with embarrassment and lowered her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she murmured. When she looked back up, she suddenly looked like the little girl Alex remembered. "Mom hasn't seen Grandma in three years….Dad won't let her."
"I know," Alex said softly. "But maybe it's time for that to change."
Some of the anger and hardness returned to Ally's face. "It's Mom's fault. She made Grandma so mad she wouldn't let her come to see her anymore. And she made Dad so mad he moved out."
Phillip and Andrew were silent throughout this exchange, looking wide-eyed from Ally to Alex. Alex sighed as the waitress returned with milk and orange juice for the children and coffee for her. What had happened to this family, she wondered. She realized that this just might be a very long day.
Annie tried to quell the butterflies in her stomach as she rode the elevator to the fourth floor. She didn't know why she let Alex talk her into this. She had planned a quiet Sunday, loafing around the house, catching up on her reading, maybe taking the kids out for pizza in the afternoon. What was she doing here? For three years Bobby had refused her every request to see his mother. The last time they had seen each other was the morning she had that horrible hangover. Their argument had been loud and angry. Her face burned, remembering the things he said to her, the way he used her deepest fears and insecurities to humiliate her. She told him to get out of her life, and he had abided by that demand, speaking to her on the phone only when necessary. He no longer came into the house to pick the children up or drop them off, instead sitting outside in his Mustang and calling on his cell phone. What would he say or do when she showed up in Frances' hospital room unannounced? From what Alex said, he was already on edge and angry about his job. She began to feel nauseated and desperately wanted to stop the elevator and run back home.
She heard Frances before the elevator doors even opened. The sound of yelling was coming from around a corner and Annie followed it. She rounded the corner and saw Bobby standing in the hallway. He was facing the wall, his arms crossed on the wall in front of him, his forehead leaning against his arms. As she moved closer, she could see that his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. Trying not to cry, she thought, so familiar with this man's body language. Her shoes were quiet as she walked, but something alerted him to her presence as she drew closer and he looked up.
He looks tired, Annie thought. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. There were shadows under his eyes, the stubble on his face showing it had been days since he shaved, his clothing was rumpled, and his entire body seemed to sag as though it was a struggle to keep his big frame upright. She waited for him to speak, but he said nothing. He hadn't ordered her to leave….yet. His mother's loud, angry voice continued from inside the room. Taking a deep breath Annie turned and walked into the hospital room.
Frances was sitting up in the bed, her flushed face twisted with anger, as she continued to yell at the doctor and three nurses surrounding her bed. Annie could see that two of the nurses, both male, were trying to get close enough to restrain her arms so that the third could inject her IV line with the medication in the syringe she was holding.
"You aren't going to do it," Frances shrieked. "I'm not crazy! I have every right to be angry; any of you would be, too, if you had son as ungrateful and uncaring as mi…"
"Oh my goodness," Annie exclaimed in a voice loud enough to draw everyone's attention, including her mother-in-law's. "You will not believe the juicy gossip I just heard! I hear there is some crazy old lady on the fourth floor raising hell with the staff!" There was a moment of shocked silence as Frances stared at her open-mouthed and the doctor and nurses all turned to look at her. Annie smiled innocently at them and asked, "You haven't heard anything about that, have you?"
Alex had planned on spending the day with Tom and his children, so she took Ally, Phillip, and Andrew with her after they finished breakfast. Surprisingly, Ally dropped the sullen façade as soon as she saw Tom in his FDNY tee shirt and jeans. She suddenly turned into a shy, giggling girl. Alex watched with amusement as Ally cast sidelong glances at the big firefighter, then averted her eyes each time he glanced in her direction.
"Looks like you have a fan," Alex told Tom when they were alone in the kitchen.
"It's the tee shirt…women always get all fluttery around firefighters," Tom said with a smile.
"Just don't break her heart," Alex laughed, and then sobered. "She's got enough drama going on in her family right now."
Tom nodded knowingly. "Divorce is tough on kids."
"Nobody said Bobby and Annie are getting a divorce," Alex said quickly.
"OK," Tom replied, crossing his arms. "Separation is tough on kids….and for them it feels the same. All they know is Mom and Dad aren't together. It's confusing."
Alex sighed and leaned against the counter. "Divorce….they can't be getting a divorce. Bobby's been in a downward spiral since he moved out. I don't know what will happen to him if he and Annie actually end their marriage."
"Well, maybe they can still work things out." Tom leaned down and kissed her.
"I hope so," Alex sighed.
Dr. Syleste and three nurses gaped at Annie until Frances' face broke into a grin and she said, "Has anyone ever told you that you are a smartass?"
Annie smiled; that was the question that Frances had asked her the first time they met. She gave the same answer she had given all those years ago.
"Oh yes. But Grandpa says every family needs a smartass. And I happen to be very good at it."
Frances began to laugh and held her arms out. Annie quickly went to sit next to her on the bed and returned her embrace. They both continued to laugh as Annie sat back and looked at her. From the corner of her eye she glimpsed movement as the nurse with the syringe moved forward and reached for the IV tubing. Annie put her hand out and wrapped it around the rubber-tipped port where the nurse had intended to inject the medication. Annie smiled up at the nurse.
"I don't think that is going to be necessary," she said. "Mrs. Goren is not having a psychotic episode." She grinned at her mother-in-law. "She is having a plain, old-fashioned temper tantrum. And now that her lovely daughter-in-law is here to visit, she is not going to cause any more ruckuses. Isn't that right Mom?"
Frances laughed with delight and patted Annie's cheek and said, "I promise."
The nurse looked at the doctor uncertainly. After a moment, he nodded silently and the nurse stepped away from the bed. Annie stood up and held her hand out to the doctor.
"I'm Annie Paine, and you are?"
"Dr. Syleste," he said, shaking her hand. "Mrs. Goren's oncologist."
"I'm glad to meet you, Dr. Syleste." She turned to the three nurses and shook hands with each as she asked, "And what are your names?"
"Darren." "Brian." "Doris." They each returned the hand shake and then excused themselves and left the room.
Dr. Syleste picked up the chart hanging at the end of Frances' bed and made a note. "No more….incidents….Mrs. Goren," he warned before leaving. "Next time you will be medicated—and restrained."
Annie and Frances watched him leave. Then Annie went back to sit on the side of the bed. Frances hugged her and said, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," she replied, fighting back the tears that threatened.
Bobby had watched everything from the doorway, amazed at the ease with which Annie diffused a situation that had escalated from bad to worse since he arrived that morning. He looked at Annie and his mother talking and laughing together, feeling that going in would be intruding. He turned and walked down the hall to the visitors lounge. Sitting down in one of the chairs, he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He heard the conversation of two of the nurses who had been in his mother's room, talking just outside the lounge.
"Who does she think she is?" Doris' voice was full of contempt. "Mrs. Goren's lovely daughter-in-law," she mimicked.
"She seems OK," said Brian.
"My cousin works at Carmel Ridge Treatment Center and knows Mrs. Goren very well. She says in the two years she's been working there, that so-called 'daughter-in-law' hasn't shown her face once. It's always the son and the grandkids. Miss High and Mighty can't be bothered to even come and visit. My cousin heard that they got divorced…you notice that her name isn't Goren, must have taken her maiden name back. Too bad for the kids; have you seen them when they come in here? They are beautiful kids, and very well-mannered. Must have learned it from their father! So after years of having nothing to do with her crazy mother-in-law, she suddenly shows up when she's on her deathbed? Sounds to me like the old lady must have some money tucked away and that ex-daughter-in-law wants to get her hands on it."
"I don't know," Brian said thoughtfully. "Mrs. Goren's on Medicaid. I doubt that she has anything of value stashed anywhere."
"Maybe not. But if that woman thinks she's going to sweep in here and start giving orders, she's got another think coming. I'm not gonna kow-tow to her, I can tell you that!"
Bobby considered getting up and letting the nurse know that he had overheard her gossip and that she had her facts wrong. But he was suddenly so weary he couldn't move. He heard their voices fade as they walked away and he let it go. He felt a warm heaviness throughout his body and relaxed, letting sleep overtake him.
Sarah stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, watching Jia Li as she showed Mike the Webkinz website and her "pets"…including a Strawberry Cloud Leopard named Mike. Jia Li was eagerly explaining all the features of the game. Sarah could tell that Mike was lost, but he was being suitably enthusiastic.
For someone who was convinced he would be a disaster as a parent, Sarah was surprised at how easily he had slipped into a relationship with a little girl. Although she suspected the person who was most surprised was Mike himself. She watched his face when he was with her, moments just like this. He seemed somewhat incredulous to be enjoying the company of a six year old.
Sarah's heart filled as she watched them, heard their laughter. Sarah liked the way that Mike spoke to Jia Li as though she were an adult; he didn't "talk down" to her. Jia Li certainly responded to him. She was a loving, trusting little girl and had readily accepted Mike into her life. This is good, Sarah thought. This is right. For Jia Li and for me.
Annie and Frances talked for an hour. They talked about everything except Bobby and Frank and the incident that had sparked their rift exactly three years ago. Frances asked about Annie's grandfather and family, her job, her church. Annie asked Frances some serious questions about her lymphoma and her treatment. Frances didn't like Dr. Syleste, but she said Bobby insisted that he had researched oncologists and Dr. Syleste was one of the best. Annie knew that the choices were limited because she was on Medicaid. From the little she had seen it looked to her that he might be a good oncologist but she suspected he had not had very much interaction with mentally ill patients since his psych rotation as a resident. But she decided it wasn't fair to judge him based on one interaction that lasted only a few minutes and she would give him a chance.
"Annie, let's go for a walk," Frances suggested. "You can make up some stories about the staff and the patients." She had always enjoyed the stories Annie created about strangers they saw.
"OK," Annie said. "Can you walk? Or do we need a wheelchair?"
"We need a wheelchair. I'm so weak; I just can't stand or walk for very long at all."
Annie didn't see a wheelchair in the room, so she reached over and pushed the button to call the nurse. Doris came in the room and asked, "Yes, Mrs. Goren?"
Annie told her, "Mrs. Goren and I would like to go for a walk. Would you bring us a wheelchair please?"
"You can't do that."
"Excuse me? I can't do what," Annie asked in surprise.
"You can't take her out of this room. Mrs. Goren is not allowed to leave this room unless she is accompanied by her son or a staff member. And I don't have time to take her for a walk right now. I'll come in later to take you for a walk," she said to Frances.
"But I'll be with her."
"You are not a staff member and you are not her son, now are you?" Disdain dripped from Doris' voice. "Those were the specific orders left by Dr. Syleste and Mr. Goren. I suppose that if he wanted you taking his mother anywhere he would have included you in that order."
Annie's felt her face flush with embarrassment, but she raised her hand when Frances began to sputter angrily. She asked in a quiet voice, "Where is my husband?"
"I saw your….Mr. Goren in the visitors lounge. Asleep."
"He's asleep? Oh….well…I don't want to disturb him now." She turned to Frances. "We'll just take a walk later, OK Mom?" Frances angrily folded her arms across her chest and sat back in the bed like a petulant child. Annie turned back to the nurse. "We'll just forget the wheelchair for now, OK Doris? Thank you for your…help."
She watched Doris stalk from the room, wondering what she had done to earn the nurse's ire, and then went over to sit in the chair next to Frances' bed.
"Th….that….you should have let me give her a piece of my mind, Annie!"
"That wouldn't have done any good. She was just following orders. I would have done the same thing."
"You wouldn't have been rude about it!"
Annie smiled at her. "No, I wouldn't have been rude." Changing the subject, she reached down and picked up her purse. "We will just have to find another way to entertain ourselves until Bobby wakes up and vouches that I'm not going to facilitate your escape from this place," she laughed. She reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of nail polish. "How about a manicure?"
Frances laughed with delight and held out her hands. "Yes, yes, yes! I really need one! You remembered my favorite color!"
Annie pulled more supplies out of her purse and filled a small plastic basin with warm water to soak Frances' cuticles, and then set to work. As she finished the clear top coat and rubbed cuticle oil in, Annie nonchalantly said, "I saw Bobby as I was coming in. He looks exhausted. Are you responsible for that, by any chance?"
"Hmph!" Frances snorted derisively. "If I were responsible for Bobby being tired, it would mean he was spending all his time here with me. That isn't what has him so tired, I can tell you that! Must be that job of his taking up all his time; it sure isn't me."
"He does have a demanding job."
"So demanding he has to leave his sick mother on Thanksgiving Day! He said he was off work and wouldn't have to go in. He said that he and Frank would spend the day with me. But he gets one phone call and off he goes….leaving me all alone on Thanksgiving."
"Oh c'mon," Annie laughed, "it's not like he dumped you on a street corner in the snow to beg for food. He left you here in a nice hospital with nurses and doctors to take care of you."
"He knew I was starting radiation treatment, he knew how hard it was going to be on me, he knew I was scared….but did that stop Mr. Big Shot Detective? Oh no! His job comes first. Always has, always will."
Annie leaned forward. "That's not fair, Mom." She stopped and took a deep breath. "I think we've had this conversation before. I don't want to fight with you."
"I don't either," Frances said with a sigh. "But you aren't going to jolly me out of being mad at Bobby. He ruined Thanksgiving….again. He promised he would be here with me. He promised to be here while I had my radiation treatment. He promised that Frank would be here. He broke all of those promises."
"OK, OK, OK! Now tell me how he is responsible for Frank not being here? Frank's a big boy, he does as he pleases. If Bobby told you Frank was going to be here, it's because he thought he would. But if Frank didn't come, then that's not Bobby's fault."
"Well…." Frances wasn't prepared to give in. "He shouldn't have told me he would be here then. And he is responsible for not being here himself. He promised me!"
Annie stood up and paced around to the other side of the bed. "If Bobby told you he wasn't on call, then that means that something big was going on and someone high up wanted him and Alex specifically. Have you read the paper? The case they were working on was a missing girl, whose father happened to be the first assistant police commissioner."
"Sure, sure….Bobby's the one they all want. And everyone is more important than his mother."
"Oh for crying out loud! Listen to yourself! He was looking for a missing girl, a missing soldier. And they found her…and they found her killer! Mom! His job is important….it's life and death. You should be proud of him!"
Frances opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly all the anger seemed to flow out of her and she looked small and frail.
"I'm….afraid, Annie. And I was all alone."
Annie sank onto the bed, facing her, and put her arms around her.
"Bobby's afraid, too, Mom," she whispered.
Frances pulled away and looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "You're still in love with him," she said softly.
Annie stared back at her, unsure of how to respond. "Well," she said slowly, "who could resist a man with handcuffs and a big…"
"Annie!"
"….gun! A big gun! Get your mind out of the gutter, old woman!"
Both women burst into laughter. They leaned against one another and laughed loudly and gustily. They were still laughing hysterically when Bobby walked into the room. They both tried to stop, tapering off to giggles. Annie blushed, wondering how much of their conversation he might have overheard. He stood just inside the door, looking uncomfortable and unsure of whether he was welcome.
"The nurse said you were asleep in the lounge. Do you feel rested?" Annie tried to keep her tone light and friendly.
"Uh…yeah," he replied, running a hand through his hair. "Better, anyway."
"It's almost lunchtime. Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat? I'll stay here until you get back."
"Lunch! Another bland meal. I can hardly wait," Frances said sarcastically.
"You don't like the food here? What do you want?"
"Pizza," Frances said immediately. "After all the nausea and the throwing up…I've been craving a big cheesy pizza with everything on it."
Annie looked up at Bobby and smiled. "Pizza? Sounds good to me. Let's order pizza."
Bobby nodded and Annie got up and moved towards the door. "The nurses will know who has the best pizza around here." She paused and looked at him, still standing just inside the room. "Go ahead and have a seat while I go ask."
Bobby looked uncertainly at his mother before going to sit in a chair next to the bed. Annie went out to the nurses' station, where several nurses were sitting and writing notes in charts.
"Excuse me; my mother-in-law would like pizza for lunch. Can you suggest a place?"
Doris looked up with irritation. "Mrs. Goren's lunch will be here in a few minutes. She shouldn't have greasy food like pizza."
"I think that if she can tolerate it, a little pizza now and then isn't going to do her any harm," Annie said firmly.
Doris started to rise but before she could speak, Brian pulled a menu out of a drawer and said, "Leon's Pizza is the best around. Here's the menu."
"Thank you," Annie said with a smile. She took the menu back to the room. After looking over the menu, Bobby called to order a small vegetarian pizza for Annie and a large combination for himself and his mother, along with salads and sodas. Annie sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed and faced Bobby.
"While we wait for the pizza to be delivered, how about a game of poker?"
She pulled a deck of cards out of her purse. Frances laughed. "Just what all do you have in that purse?"
Annie laid the deck of cards on the over-bed table and laughed. "Only what's important," she said, and reached back into her purse and pulled out an NYPD cap that Bobby had given to her years earlier. She shook out the cap and put it on backwards.
"C'mon….deal," she said to Bobby, causing a smile to spread across his face.
"We don't have any chips," he said with a chuckle.
"Oh, of course! How silly of me!" She reached back into her purse and pulled out a small, clear plastic container with poker chips inside.
Bobby and Frances both burst out laughing. "You carry poker chips in your purse," Bobby was finally able to gasp out.
"Well, of course. You never know when someone is going to want to get up an impromptu game," she said innocently.
After lunch at McDonald's, during which Mike kept his thoughts about fast food to himself, he took Sarah and Jia Li to see the movie "Cars". Children's movies were new to him, but he enjoyed watching Jia Li's reactions. Mike's apartment was close to the theater, so after the movie they went there and let Jia Li explore 'Tective Mike's apartment. Sarah could see that she was tired and talked her into lying down on Mike's bed. She fell asleep almost immediately. Mike and Sarah sat together on the couch while she napped.
"So...does it matter that all that stuff Jia Li showed me on the computer didn't make any sense at all?"
Sarah laughed. "No…it makes sense to her. That's all that matters for now." She kissed his cheek. "You'll figure it out eventually."
"This kid business is confusing…and tiring," he told her with a smile.
"You're doing fine, Detective…just fine," Sarah said, leaning over to press her lips to his.
Mike grinned against her mouth and pulled into his arms.
Bobby, Annie, and Frances played several hands of poker, with Annie losing every time. Bobby and his mother were about evenly split, and both laughed over Annie's losses. Doris brought in Frances' lunch tray and Frances waved it away, informing her that she was waiting for pizza. When the pizza arrived, they put away the cards and sat back to enjoy their lunch. Annie noticed that Frances didn't eat much, but she did manage to eat one small piece of pizza and a few bites of salad. She also noticed that somewhere in the midst of their poker game, Bobby had stopped being so tentative and Frances had stopped ignoring him. She was glad to hear them carrying on a conversation and actually laughing together.
After they had eaten their fill and cleared the food away, Annie said, "Maybe now would be a good time for that walk. How about it, are you two up to it?"
"Sure," Bobby told her.
"Well, we tried to go for a walk earlier and they wouldn't let us," Frances informed Bobby.
"Wouldn't let you? Why?"
Annie tried to stop Frances, not wanting to cause any problems, but Frances told him everything Doris had said when she refused to bring a wheelchair for them. Bobby looked at Annie silently, raising an eyebrow in question.
"It…it was no big deal," Annie said softly, looking down at the floor. "She was only doing her job, following orders."
Bobby continued to watch her for a moment, making her more uncomfortable. He moved over to the bed and pushed the button to call for the nurse. Doris appeared in the doorway.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, you can," Bobby said. "We would like a wheelchair so we can take my mother for a walk."
"Oh….alright. I'll go get one."
"And while you're at it, bring me a Release of Information form to fill out."
"A….a Release of Information…..?"
"Yes. Just for the record, my wife is to have access to all of my mother's medical records, access to any information she wants from you or the doctor…and she is free to take my mother anywhere she wants, anytime she wants. Is that clear?"
Doris stared at him, at a loss for words. She looked from him to Annie, and back to him. Finally she stammered, "Y…yes…th…I…I understand, Mr. Goren." She left the room and Annie looked at him gratefully.
The nurse returned with the wheelchair and the form Bobby had requested. Bobby suggested they go for a walk while he filled out the Release of Information form. Bobby helped Frances into the wheelchair, while Annie moved the IV bag from the pole next to the bed to the pole extending up from the chair. She pushed the wheelchair out of the room and down the hall to the elevators, trying not to glance at the nurses standing behind the counter at the nurses' station as she passed. They took a long walk along several floors and through the lobby. Annie entertained Frances with stories she made up about the people they saw. Finally she could see that her mother-in-law was tired and headed back to her room. After helping her into bed, Frances almost immediately fell asleep. Bobby and Annie moved their chairs across the room so as not to disturb her nap.
Tom and Alex took the kids to the park after lunch and played a game of football. As they relaxed after the game, Ally found a moment with Aaron, away from the others. There was something she needed to ask him.
As they walked along the edge of a pond, Ally asked, "What's it like?"
"What's what like?" Aaron picked up a rock and skipped it across the surface of the pond.
"Your parents…you know…being divorced."
"Oh." Aaron shrugged and continued walking. "I don't know…it's OK, I guess. They've been divorced a long time."
"Do you miss living with them both in the same house?"
"I don't know…sometimes, I guess. But…I don't remember it all that much. I was, like, six…when my Dad moved out."
"So, how does it work? Do you stay with your dad on weekends?"
"No," Aaron said. "It's more like fifty-fifty. Mom doesn't live very far away, so we spend part of the week with her and part of the week with Dad. And about every other weekend."
"And….what about….Aunt Alex? Is it weird to see your dad with….someone else?"
"Kinda," he told her. "But…well, my mom's married and my stepdad is pretty cool. And Aunt Alex is cool….so….I guess it's OK. You get used to it."
I don't want my Mom and Dad to get divorced, Ally thought as Aunt Alex called to them that it was time to leave. I don't want to get used to it.
"Are you alright, Bobby? You look….tired." Annie kept her voice low, so as not to disturb Frances' nap.
He nodded his head. "I….I'm OK. Thank you." He looked at her intently as she nodded her head. "It's just….a lot, you know? I…uh…I really messed up this weekend. I thought it would be nice if Frank and I were here together with her for Thanksgiving. But then Frank didn't show up and I got called in to work and….well, it just all went to hell, you know?"
She smiled and leaned towards him slightly. "Those things happen. She'll get over it. So….how long has it been since Frank came to see her?"
"He hasn't been here to see her in the hospital at all. And before that? I can't even remember. He does call her now and then."
"Well, I think it's time for him to pay her a visit, don't you?"
"Sure," he said with a laugh. "Any suggestions on how to get him here?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. Do you have his number?"
"Annie, don't. You don't need to…"
"But I want to," she cut him off with a grin. She held out her hand. "C'mon, give me his number."
Bobby sighed and opened his cell phone, found the number, and held it for her to see. She pulled out her own phone and dialed the number. As it began ringing, she got up and walked out of the room. Bobby followed her into the hallway. She walked down the hall where she was out of hearing range from Frances' room.
"Yeah…who is this?" Frank's voice was annoyed.
"It's Annie, Frank. How are you?"
"Annie?! You're kidding, right? What do you want?"
"I just wanted to see how you are," she said sweetly. "I'm here at the hospital visiting your mother and she said she….."
"You are visiting Mom? I thought you and she were over. I heard she doesn't even allow your name to be mentioned in her presence."
"Oh, that's all in the past. We made up. We've been having a very nice visit today. And she said she hadn't seen you in…well…a while. She expected you to spend Thanksgiving with her."
"Something came up."
"Sure, I understand. These things happen. So, how about now? Are you busy? I know your mother would love to see you."
"Now? No…I'm busy, can't get away."
"Oh, now that's a shame. She will be so disappointed that you can't come. But I'll be sure to let her know how much you….wish…you could be here. You know," she lowered her voice confidentially. "Mom and I are having such a good talk, we've worked out all our little problems. In fact, I think she's going to give that pearl necklace back to me. I think she might even give me her engagement ring as well. Isn't that wonderful? Well, I better get back in there with her. You take care, Frank. I'll be sure to let her know how….umm….disappointed you are that you can't come to visit her."
"You bi…." Annie hung up on him as he sputtered furiously.
She looked up to see Bobby staring at her. "What," she asked innocently.
"Th…that….was…you…." he took a breath and tried again. "Annie, he's going to be pissed. And who knows what he'll do."
"He'll high-tail his butt over here, that's what he'll do, Bobby. And he'll be mad at me. So what's new? But he'll come and make nice with your mother, and she'll be happy to have both her boys here." She shrugged. "I can live with that."
She smiled at him as he frowned and shook his head. They went back to Frances' room and found her waking up from her nap. Bobby excused himself, saying he wanted to go outside for some fresh air, and left them alone again. Annie knew he was trying to give them as much time alone as he could, while staying close enough that his mother felt like she was spending the day with him as well. She and Frances sat talking quietly for a while, and then Frances asked her to put some music on.
Bobby had brought a CD player and a collection of CDs for her to listen to. Annie picked out one that had a variety of artists; Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bobby Darin, Nat King Cole. Annie and Frances sang along with several songs. Annie sang a duet with Dean Martin to "That's Amore". The next song up had a slow Latin beat. Annie laughed and began to dance around the room. Bobby walked into the room and Annie danced over to him, swaying her hips, and held out her hand.
"Dance with me, Bobby!"
Without thinking, he took her hand and began to move with her in time to the music. He was captivated as she laughed up at him. The feel of her in his arms, his hand on her hip, twirling her under his arm….he was transported back to the night of Janey and Rob's wedding, when he had waltzed with her. He had planned to break up with her that night, but watching her as she danced with other men, as she entranced the teenage boys in the room, as he danced with her himself…he had realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That night he had finally trusted her enough to tell her about his family. She was the first woman he had let his defenses down with, and she had not been satisfied until she smashed down every wall he had erected around his heart, thrusting herself into every area of his life that he had kept so intensely private over the years. And she had proven herself trustworthy with his secrets, his old scars, his old wounds…bringing peace and healing to him that he had never thought possible. Until that awful Thanksgiving, just three years ago, when she had blurted out the truth to his mother. A truth she didn't want to hear and it had led his mother to immediately cut Annie out of her life. It had also led to him cutting her out of a huge part of his life, the part that included his mother and his brother. Slowly but surely he had begun to cut her out of other areas of his life as well, until he felt there was too much he could no longer share with her. But once again she had barged into his life, coming here today uninvited. And once again she had brought peace and healing with her. Now, watching her sway her hips, feeling her move in his arms, he was reminded of that first waltz they danced together.
Annie was lost in the swaying rhythm of the music, lost in Bobby's strong arms, seeing only his face. As the song ended and Bobby pulled her firmly against his chest, she looked up at him breathlessly, dimly aware of clapping. They had attracted an audience, nurses and staff gathered in the doorway watching them and applauding. As she looked up into his eyes, she suddenly realized that she had forgotten. Caught up in the magic of the music and the dance, when she saw him, she forgot that everything had changed between them. She had pulled him into her dance without stopping to wonder if he wanted to dance, to wonder what he thought about her even being here in his mother's room. For these moments, he was her Bobby. But as the dance ended and she looked up at him, reality came crashing down around her. He was no longer hers to dance with, to touch at random, to plead with teasingly. What was she thinking? What had she done? And with all these people watching, no less. Annie dropped his hand and stepped away, embarrassment causing her face to turn red.
"I…I…need to….I've got to….go to the bathroom," she murmured and made her way through the people still standing in the doorway. She walked quickly down the hall and around the corner; finally stopping to lean against the wall and try to catch her breath. She leaned forward slightly at the waist and put her hands flat against the wall behind her. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her racing heart. The elevator doors opened and she looked up to see Frank stepping into the hall. Great, just what I need right now, she thought. Frank spotted her and stepped into her personal space.
"You're quite the little bitch, aren't you, Annie? I'm just glad my brother finally figured that out and dumped you."
With that he turned and stormed away towards his mother's room. Annie closed her eyes again and tried to take deep breaths; tried to calm herself.
What she was doing here, she wondered. Alex had asked her to come, but she should have refused. Why had she walked back into this toxic triangle of Bobby, Frank, and Frances? Bobby had cut her out of this part of his life long ago, and he had cut her out of every part of his life by leaving. It was obvious he didn't want her interference, didn't want her help. Why had she come today?
"Annie?"
She opened her eyes and looked into his face. He was the reason she was here. He might not want her anymore, but today he needed her, and she didn't know how to say no to his need.
"Are you alright," he asked softly.
"Y…yes…I'm fine," she said.
He frowned and leaned close to her. "Did Frank upset you? What did he say to you?"
She gazed at him, gauging her answer. There had been too much fighting, too much contention. She smiled and said, "He wanted to know who cut my hair. Said it makes me look ten years younger."
Bobby looked at her suspiciously, knowing she was not telling the truth, but also knowing she wasn't going to talk about it. Annie pushed herself away from the wall. "I think that I should be going now. You and Frank should have some time alone with your mother."
"You don't have to go," he told her.
"I really should get back to the kids. Make sure the boys haven't burned Alex at the stake or anything,"
He frowned in confusion. "Alex?"
"Yeah. I left Alex with the kids."
"Why?"
"Because," she said with a laugh, "it was Alex's idea for me to come today."
"Eames asked you to come here today? Why?"
"She said you were having problems with your mother; that you mouthed off to the captain and to the father of your victim. She was concerned about you….and about your job."
Bobby sighed and ran his hand across the back of his neck. "I…uh…Eames was pretty mad at me. She wanted to help me and I told her to back off."
Annie laughed. "Well, you are definitely having problems with all the women in your life, aren't you Bobby? Good thing Ally still thinks you walk on water."
He smiled self-consciously at her and nodded his head. Annie laughed again and walked back to Frances' room. She gathered her things and told Frances goodbye, waving aside her protests that she wanted her to stay.
"I really need to get home to the kids. But I'll be back," she promised. "And you can call me anytime. OK?" She kissed Frances on the cheek. She said, "Goodbye Frank," which he ignored. Bobby followed her back to the elevators.
As the doors opened and Annie stepped on, Bobby said softly, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I had a good time today, too."
Bobby stopped the doors from closing and looked at her intently. "Why, Annie? Why would you come here and do all of this after….after everything?"
Annie smiled at him and gently pushed his hands away from the doors.
"Oh Babe…..you know why," she whispered as the doors closed.
End chapter 10
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