AN: As promised, special 2 chapter update day~ Sorry again for the delay guys.

Seriously, more BatBro Shenanigans and I'm seriously going to change the name of this fic lol. ENJOY


Chapter 10

Session in Progress

Do not Disturb

On Pain of Death

Harley set her phone out, pulling up her voice recording app and hitting start. She sat back in the chair across from Bruce, notepad in hand and a smile on her face. This was truly back to normal. After she returned from Switzerland, she would regularly council Bruce in the library, every time with the 'session in progress' sign on the door. When they started they didn't have to worry about being disturbed, Alfred and Dick knew not to knock. However, the three new additions to the house were likely to cause a ruckus.

"You don't mind if I record this, do you?" she asked, noting the date on the top of her page.

"Do whatever you want, Doc, you know what to do with the recording after."

Pencil marked paper and Harley looked up again, scrutinizing her patient. Bruce sat on the couch, legs crossed and arms thrown over the back. He wasn't looking at her, and held a defiant air that was very unlike him. "Joe, long time, no see. How are you?"

His head snapped to look at her, almost shocked. Then he started laughing. "I almost forgot who I was talking to!" he said with a manic grin. "Years with the freak haven't dulled your edge, Doc. How did you know?"

"You're the only one who calls me 'doc'," she said with a grin, making another note.

'Joe', Bruce's most violent personality, so dubbed after the man who killed Bruce's parents. He didn't bother Bruce too much, but he tended to pester the Bat. From what Harley had gathered over the years, Joe and the Bat tended to work together as Joe was the more able interrogator. Bruce was able to keep him in check most of the time…

"So am I right to assume that Bruce isn't with us anymore?" Harley asked casually.

"For now," Joe responded, chuckling darkly. "See, he's a bit upset right now and I figured he needed a break."

"And what made him so upset?"

"What makes all men upset? Love," he mocked, wrinkling his nose is disgust. "Love for you, love for his sons."

"Love for Diana?" she offered. He made a gagging noise.

"That's the worst of them all."

"And yet he's marrying her. How does that make you feel?"

"Well technically speaking we're all marrying her. As for how I feel? Don't care for the commitment, but the sex is amazing." Harley couldn't help but cringe as she continued her notes. "Awkward, Doc?"

"I have a professional detachment," she said honestly, looking back up at him.

"See from what I hear you don't have a, heh, 'professional detachment' from Richard," he taunted, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. "Don't tell me you fell for the trap of love, did ya, Doc? I'm gonna lose a ton of respect for you if you have."

Harley just gave him a soft smile. "We're not here talking about me."

"So you have. I'm disappointed."

"Can I talk to Bats? Or Bruce?"

"Aw, I told ya, Doc, Bruce doesn't want to come out and play right now and the Bat only comes out with the cowl. So you're stuck with me. Sorry." The grin Joe gave her reminded her far too much of the Joker, and she shuddered. "Problem?"

"Hardly," she said, shaking her head and trying to bring her clinical view back. It'd been so long since she needed to do this. She was out of practice. "So you're not keen about the marriage. I'd like to ask you not to sabotage it."

"Or what? 'They ain't never gonna find my body'?" he mocked, doing a terrible impression of her with that same grin. "Besides, it's too fucking late for that."

"What have you done?"


"Stop stepping on my foot, Drake."

"I'm not on your foot."

"Move the fuck over. Your bony ass elbows don't belong in my gut!"

"Guys shut up. I can't hear anything."

"Can't hear anything anyway!"

"Father was right to soundproof this room."

"What are you four doing?!"

Diana's voice made all four boys jolt in shock. They had been pressing their ears to the library door, attempting to listen in on the session but hearing nothing. In the end they were just in each other's ways so much so that when Damian suddenly stood up straight, he knocked all three of his brothers over and they all fell on top of each other in a heap. When Titus saw them, he barked happily, jumping on top of Dick and making all four of them groan in pain. Diana just shook her head. Even after almost 80 years in the world of men, she still didn't understand them.

"This is the second time today this fucking dog has been on top of me!" Jason shouted, trying to wiggle himself free. "Get your beast under control!"

"He is perfectly trained," Damian wheezed, straining under the weight of his three older brothers and the dog. "Titus, taeal 'iilaa huna." He pointed in front of him and Titus jumped down, coming to sit right where Damian pointed. "See?"

"You taught your dog Arabic?" Diana asked as Dick helped Jason to his feet.

"I taught him commands in a language most people around here don't know," Damian explained, grateful for the ability to breathe again. "That way he only responds to me. Now will you plebs get off of me?!"

"Again, who are you calling plebs, baby bro?" Jason asked as he hauled Tim up. "We're all brothers."

"You're no brothers of mine," Damian huffed, standing up and brushing himself off. He straightened his clothes and pulled a small treat out his pocket for Titus. The other three just shook their heads and walked away, heading for the other elevator to the batcave. It was almost that time. Damian stayed with his dog for a second, petting him softly and glancing at Diana through the corner of his eye. "Don't look at me like that, woman."

"Why do you hate them so much?" Diana asked, sighing heavily. "They are your brothers, Damian."

"Not by blood," he muttered, refusing to look at her.

"That shouldn't matter," Diana said with a smile, kneeling down to look him in the eye. "None of the Amazons on Themyscira are blood related to me, but they're still my sisters. We live together, eat together, train together, and fight together, just as you do with your brothers."

"Che, whatever." Damian turned sharply on his heels, marching off after the others.

Diana sighed as she stood, wrapping one arm around herself. Maybe she wasn't as good at this mothering thing as she thought. Or maybe Damian just didn't like her; that was always possible. She'd have to talk to him at some point, preferably before the wedding. Whenever that was. She looked up when Harley stepped out of the library, taking the sign down as she went.

"Bruce went down to the batcave," Harley told her with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine," Diana said with a shrug. Then she got suspicious. "Why?"

"No reason." Harley mirrored the shrug and her pose, biting her lip. "You hungry? Alfred'll be down helping the boys, but I can cook."

Diana just nodded, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen. Harley skipped off, her low pigtails bouncing on her shoulders as she went, Diana following close behind.


The streets of Gotham were quiet. That was the way after the Joker made a big move, especially after Batman beat him. Crime would stop for a couple weeks out of fear of pissing him off. Batman made the executive decision to stay in and monitor crime from the batcave. According to him, they were well within the usual post-Joker window and could afford it. Nightwing was getting antsy, though. He was ready to get back out into the field and it looked like his brothers were as well. Red Hood and Red Robin looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there. So he waved his brothers over to the garage, just out of earshot of Batman.

"You guys remember our usual course, right?" he asked, a sly smile on his face. "The triangle one."

"That's the one from here, to Arkham, to the docs, and back, right?" Red Robin asked, looking up to the ceiling to recall the route. "Yeah I think I remember. It's been a while though."

"Jay?"

"Of course I remember. I also remember that you've never beaten me," Red Hood chuckled. "But are you good for that, bro? It's a long run."

Nightwing's hand reached down to his side unconsciously. His stitches were gone, thankfully, but the wound wasn't totally healed yet. "Maybe, maybe not, but I'm sick of sitting around this house. Let's go before the Bat gets suspicious."

"I want to come." Robin materialized next to Nightwing and all three jumped. "Whatever you're doing, I want in."

"Just a race," Red Robin sneered, glaring at Robin through his mask. "Nothing big."

"Sounds like fun. Where to?"

All three looked at each other nervously (though it was hard to tell for Jason because of the helmet). Nightwing cleared his throat, pulling up a projection of the city. "It's pretty straight forward. Five parts. We start here on bikes to Gotham PD, then on ground level to Arkham. Remember you have to hit all three points, the front gate, the bell tower, and the green house in that order. After that it's across the rooftops to Wayne Tower. You've got to tie off your ribbon on the top mast or you forfeit."

"And if it blows away you're out," Red Robin reminded them with a huff. "So make sure you tie it good and tight."

"After that it's your choice to the docs. Don't forget to leave a marker on Bruce's boat."

"What kind of marker?" Robin asked, staring at the map and committing it to memory.

"Any kind," Nightwing answered, shrugging. "A batarang, a smoke bomb, a flair—"

"Your corpse," Red Hood muttered, making Nightwing smack the back of his helmet. "What?! Did the rules change or is sabotage still allowed?"

"Sabotage, yes, murder, no," Nightwing answered firmly. "The last leg is the easiest. Get back to your bike and back here. Now I don't trust that something's not going to go wrong, so keep your comms on. If one of us gets pulled into a fight, or injured, the race is over and we all go to help. Got it?"

"And what does the winner get?" Robin asked, smirking as he went to one of the motorcycles. It was far too big for him, but he didn't care.

"Same as usual," Red Robin grinned, heading to his own bike. "Winner doesn't have to go on patrol tomorrow night."

"Loser makes everyone breakfast tomorrow," Nightwing said with a chuckle. "So Tim, don't burn the pancakes this time."

"Fuck you."

"Where do you four think you're going?" Nightwing and Red Hood nearly fell off their bikes when they heard Batman's voice. They all turned to see him standing there, arms crossed and a downward turn to his lips. The map was still up, and he glared at Nightwing. "The Race? Really, Dick, you're not healed yet."

"Come on, Bats, we gotta induct the little one," Red Hood said, and everyone could hear his smirk. Nightwing grabbed Robin's arm before his batarang could fly.

"And this is the first time all four of us are together," Red Robin added with a grin. "Pleeeeaaassseee Bruce?"

Batman looked between them, they're steely gazes and defiant stances and realized there was nothing he could do to stop it. "You'll need a ref. I'll monitor from here. The usual rules?" They all nodded. "No great loss to me then. Jason doesn't come on patrol anymore."

"How many times has he won?" Robin whispered to Nightwing.

"Every time," came the angered answer. "None of us have ever beaten him."

"Then his winning streak ends tonight."

The boys lined up their motorcycles, revving the engines and getting ready to ride. The instant the main gate opened they all sped off into the night. Batman watched them with mirth, sitting down heavily in his chair at the console. He kept the map of Gotham in the lower corner of the screen as he worked to make 'Arleen Sorkin' disappear and Harleen Quinzel return.


The wind whistling through his hair, the pounding of the pavement beneath his boots, the adrenaline rush every time he jumped off a building… Yeah, perhaps Nightwing was addicted to the lifestyle. As he vaulted off the roof of the greenhouse and grappled to a nearby building, well ahead of all his brothers, he wondered if that was a bad thing. He gracefully flipped onto the roof and took off at a dead sprint. There was a flash of red in his peripheral vision and he ducked, just missing a stun pellet as it whizzed by his head. He pondered for a moment if his lead was only because Red Robin stunned the other two, but he couldn't dwell. Not only were they now running through the bad part of Gotham (all of Gotham was bad, but this was the really bad part) but he had a feeling that with Damian joining them his brothers would be a bit more savage than usual.

His hunch was correct as he felt Red Robin's bo staff crack into his shoulder. It proved particularly painful since he didn't have his usual armor on. His suit was still being repaired and the armor replaced after the blast, so he had been forced to don an old suit. An old suit that was really just a body suit, so while it was great for acrobatics, it was terrible for fights. He fell down to his knee hard, hearing another crack as he hit the asphalt and regretting everything. Red Robin's staff came down again and he rolled out of the way, pulling the escrima sticks off his back in the process. He lunged towards his brother, sticks swinging in a large arc over his head. Red Robin jumped away while using his staff to vault over Nightwing's head. His feet had barely hit the ground before they were swept out from under him with very blunt katanas. He hit the ground hard and Robin jumped into his chest with a wide grin.

"That's for the cheap shot, Drake," Robin chuckled, ruffling Red Robin's hair before jumping back. He almost doubled over in laughter as Nightwing's sticks slammed into Red Robin's stomach. Nightwing reeled back, having been aiming for Robin, and turned to face his baby brother with a snarl on his lips.

Their fight was cut short as vines exploded from the roof and wrapped around their ankles, lifting them into the air upside down. The more they struggled, the more the vines grew, until they were wrapped up completely in the writhing green plants. For a moment Nightwing was glad Jason wasn't around. The comments that boy would have been making… Poison Ivy sauntered out the shadows, a scowl on her face as she assessed her prey.

"I set out to trap a bat and all I got were some birds instead. How disappointing…" Her scowl deepened as her eyes landed on Nightwing. "You." He stopped his struggling in a second, eyes wide as she came up to him and stroked his cheek. "My she was right. You are a handsome one, aren't you? I could cut myself on those cheekbones."

She pressed a firm kiss on his lips, smirking all the while as her kiss burned him. He tried to keep his mouth shut, but she pressed them open with her tongue to deposit her poison in his mouth. He tried to spit it out as she pulled away, but it was far too late for that. He could already feel the poison working its way through his system, making him break out in a cold sweat. It felt like his throat was constricting and his breathing became ragged.

"You coward!" Robin cried, fighting to free himself once again. "You spineless good for nothing cunt! I'll-" he was cut off as a vine wrapped around his mouth, silencing him.

"What a nasty way to talk to a lady," Ivy said with a tisk. "I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth." She shook her head and turned her attention back to Nightwing, whose vision was already blurring. "Why did you have to come out alive and not her?" Her voice was a low growl that put all of them on edge, not that they could do much about it. "You killed my best friend and you're going to pay for that."

"He tried to save her!" Red Robin shouted, making Ivy snap her head to him. It was no secret that Ivy and Harley were best friend. "It was the Joker that set that bomb. You want revenge, go kill him! Let us-" A vine wrapped around his mouth too, and he opted to just glare at Ivy instead.

"The Joker's gone to ground since the explosion, no one's been able to find him," Ivy hissed, eyes sparkling as she turned back to Nightwing. "You're the next best thing, pretty boy." She grabbed his hair and forced him to look at her, though his vision was fading fast as his head swam. Whatever she had given him, it was powerful. "Take a good long look, my dear. Mine will be the last face you ever see. Good for you it's a beautiful one."

"Come on, Flower, baby, that's a bit harsh, dontcha think?" Nightwing could barely hear Jason as he approached, cocky as always. Ivy growled as he came to her side, sliding an arm around her waist. His other arm came up to inject an anti-toxin into Nightwing's neck, a smirk hidden behind his helmet. Ivy tried to stop him, but he just shoved her aside. His brother was unconscious, and he carefully felt for a pulse. He could just barely feel it but his breathing was normal again. That was a good sign. He wasn't sure how long it would last though; he knew from person experience that Ivy's toxins weren't so easily cured.

"I hate it when you call me that," Ivy muttered, glaring at him from the corner of her eye. Robin started thrashing wildly, his voice muffled beneath the vine, though it was clear he was swearing. "Quiet down, pipsqueak. The grown ups are talking." He didn't stop, and Red Robin swung himself over to headbutt his younger brother. Robin swung back to do the same and Ivy sighed. More vines shot out and held them separate, much to the chagrin of Robin. "Are they always like this?"

"Pretty much, Peach," Jason said with a sigh, his hands planting on his hips. "Little bro had a point though. The Joker is the one you want."

"And I told you, he's vanished," Ivy reiterated, the scowl coming back to her lips. Jason was about to retort, but the crackle of the comms coming to life stopped him with his mouth open.

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?! We can't leave yous guys unsupervised for ten minutes?!"

Harley's furious voice was so loud that even Ivy heard it, if the shocked look on her face was any indication. She recoiled her vines, dropping the three men on the ground with loud thuds. Red Robin was by Nightwing's side in a second, pocket computer in hand taking vitals. Robin was on his knees reminding himself how to breathe. Jason would have palmfaced if he wasn't wearing his helmet. If he'd known that was all it took to get her to release his brothers, he would have gotten Harley to pipe up ages ago.

"We were ambushed," he said, groaning as Ivy took a few tentative steps towards him. He knew what she wanted to ask and he just shook his head.

"Is that Harley?" she asked, reaching out to him. He just slapped her hand away. She growled at her, secreeting her pheromones on instinct more than anything. With his helmet still on, they'd have no effect. "Let me talk to her!"

"It's a voice filter!" he snapped, fiddling with his comm to lower the volume a bit. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

"Yeah something happened," came the impatient response. "Get your sorry butts over to Doc Thompkins' place on the west end. Diana collapsed."

"Let the good doctor know she'll have another patient or two," Jason said as he dropped down to Nightwing's side. He hadn't woken yet, and the sweating was back. He put a firm hand on Red Robin's shoulder, a silent way of telling him he got it. Red Robin gave him a weary look, but collected Robin and headed off towards the west end nonetheless. He could still hear Robin's struggling breaths and wondered if Ivy was annoyed enough with him to poison him too. "Nightwing got hit with one of Ivy's toxins."

"A gentle way to put it," Ivy huffed.

"Is Red there?" Harley asked, the hope in her voice breaking Jason's heart a little. "Do me a favor, Jay, don't tell her I'm alive. She'll kill me herself."

"Duly noted," he said as he hefted Nightwing onto his shoulders. "Hey, Petal, if you tell me what poison you used I'll give you a kiss."

"Like you won't kiss my later anyway," she said with an amused smirk.

"Okay, then don't tell me and I won't kiss you. How's that sound?" His shit eating grin was audible.

"Tolerable."

"You're killin' me, Smalls."


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"I fing its bootiful," he laughed, sliding down the wall to sit. "I fing your bootiful. Heh. I sai' booty."


AN: Back to normal updates now everyone. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and see ya next time~