Idea Nine: Live Autopsy

Jimmy Palmer settled into his role as Ducky's assistant comfortably. He always enjoyed days like this – days where Ducky taught other medical students.

They made quite the team, Ducky doing most of the explaining and work while he himself added little comments and notes, providing his mentor with anything he needed and occasionally handing over a bowl when someone turned green.

Not that these students tended to turn green. Medical students were far less likely to vomit than new NCIS agents. Then he tended to be less of an assistant and more of a carer, passing out bowls to Probies while making sure some of the more comfortable ones didn't touch anything they shouldn't.

Today was something of a treat. Instead of autopsying a dead body, Ducky had decided to provide a live autopsy. On Director Leon Vance.

Palmer could sympathize; Vance had been especially tough on Ducky lately. It had all started when Metro accused Ducky of stealing a body, a complete misunderstanding. Agent Gibbs had stolen the body during a routine trip to the precinct. His argument had been that Metro should not be autopsying a sailor without permission from NCIS.

That had set off an unholy row between the two agencies. Metro had pointed out that this particular sailor had shot three of their men. Gibbs had responded by deciding to investigate the shooting of the three men and had declared the whole thing to be a cover-up. Vance had blamed Ducky for prolonging the disagreement by insisting on keeping the body until he had finished with it.

Which was unfair. Someone had to be the advocate for the victim and the investigators seemed to be too busy arguing over who had control of him. Ducky had merely done his job under difficult circumstances.

And so Ducky had decided to solve the problem by offering Vance a live autopsy. Well, not so much offer as ask Agent Gibbs and Officer David to truss him up and make sure he wasn't going to break free.

The two of them were currently standing behind the students, looking over their shoulders and keeping an eye on the restraints. Agent DiNozzo and Abby had joined them. Palmer was glad of their company and of having Abby's sharp mind at hand. She had been the one to suggest turning on the biohazard light outside so that no one would come in and catch them in the act.

Another muffled groan came from Vance as Ducky began to cut out parts of his liver. "Can anyone tell me what we can learn from this organ?" he inquired.

Palmer was thankfully of Abby's gag. Vance would probably have screamed the building down by now if it hadn't been for that.

One of the students tentatively spoke up. "He drinks a bit perhaps, not much."

Ducky smiled at him in encouragement. "Very good. And what would we be seeing if our guest drank a lot?"

"Cirrhosis," came the reply. "Some scarring."

"Excellent," Ducky beamed. "Now I need to take some more samples for Abby…"

"That's me!" the Goth called excitedly from the back.

"And then we can go onto our next organ," Ducky decided. "What shall we examine next?"