Rick returned safely with Hershel and brought back another body with them. Rae only watched from the porch with her daughter who was getting back and able to get on her feet now. Rae had a colder expression to her. Her heart was breaking inside as she watches Lori and Carl run up to Rick who arrived safely. Alex watch the man she will never be able to call father nor run up to him the way Carl had. They stood back with only each other,
"Mom, I'm tired." Alex said wanting to get away from the happy reunion scene in front of her. "Let's get you inside, shall we?" Rae said ignoring the obvious stare from Rick as he watches the mother and daughter walk back into the house obviously feeling down.
Rae left her daughter alone in the room she was in knowing that she was upset about Rick. Rae joined the group downstairs as they talked about their hostage.
"We couldn't just leave him behind. He would've bled out. If he'd lived that long." Rick said as Rae step into the room standing next to Maggie without looking up. She kept her eyes staring at the white cloth of the table. She could feel his gaze on her but she didn't want him to see the hurt in her eyes every time she'd look at him or Lori or Carl. She wanted time to think things through and with Lori being pregnant, the process wasn't speeding up any time soon.
"It's gotten bad in town." Glenn said explaining what Rick had meant. His gaze lingers on Maggie before he turned away.
"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked still not seeing the possible result.
"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week." Hershel said walking in wiping his hands clean.
"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way." Rick said coming up with a solution that he prays will keep their location safe from the others in his group.
"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Daryl walks into the house quietly as he could without disturbing the conversation and nods at Carol.
"He'll have a fighting chance." Rick said defending his option. Rae had stayed quiet, she didn't have any more energy to be looking for solutions for every problem they had anymore. She had her own shit to figure out now.
"Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are." Shane said already seeing the clear solution in his mind about what should be done. One that he knew, Rick was afraid to make.
"He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat." Rick said defending himself once again from Shane. He was tired of having to fight his best friend on every decision he made for the group.
"Not a threat." Shane lets out a dry chuckle. "How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage but they just ain't gonna come looking for him?"
"They left him for dead. No one is looking." Rick yelled rising his voice.
"We should still post a guard." Rae said finally voicing her opinion. She didn't care what, she just needed to be sure that her daughter will get the recovery she needed.
"Rae, he's not a threat." Rick said and begged her with his eyes to believe him but she didn't even look him in the eyes.
"I don't care if he's a threat or not. I just want my daughter to recover safely until she's able to run on her own two feet. Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to take that away, even if I have to put a bullet through that man's head." She replied coldly surprising everyone at the table at her sudden tone.
Rick stared at her sudden respond about killing an innocent man. He'd get that she wanted her daughter to recover safely, hell he wanted the same but killing an innocent man wasn't the type of person he knew her as. Something had changed her and he wanted to find out why, if only she would look him in the eye. She seemed to do fine with everyone else but him and his family.
"He's out cold right now, will be for hours." Hershel explains seeing no need for a guard and no need for any bullets to be flying around killing an innocent man.
"I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy." Shane said heading towards the door unsatisfied with the decision the group have come up with. "Look at this, folks, we back in fantasyland." He scoffed shaking his head.
"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet." Hershel's words stopped him before the door. "Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all; this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So, do us both a favor, keep your mouth shut." Shane walked out slamming the door, he wasn't happy but he'd have to live with it until otherwise.
"Look, we're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off." Rae wasn't happy with his choice and her eyes meet T-Dog's whose eyes responded to hers. He was going to be keeping guard just because he didn't want to be taking any chances with their lives on the line.
The group scatter, anyone who wasn't need in the house scatter outside. Maggie stopped Glenn to speak and Rick grabbed Rae's arm before she could disappear into the room Alex was in. "Can I talk to you?" Rae could see Lori linger in the doorway waiting for him, "Lori pregnant, there isn't anything we need to talk about." She shook her head finally meeting his gaze. Her eyes held the pain in her heart but not nearly half of it. Her voice was weak and hurt could be heard in it.
Rick didn't know how to respond and stood there in silence like he was caught cheating and maybe he was. She waited as if she knew he had a reason for not telling her and when none came, she could only laugh weakly. "Congratulations, Rick. You're having a baby." She pushed pass him and moved into the room her daughter slept.
The week went by in a blink of an eye. Rae had pulled away from everyone. She didn't talk to the others unless she needed too, the only person she would talk too would be her daughter and sometimes Daryl. Everyone in the group could tell that she was pulling away and no matter what they did, there was no way to pull her back in. There was nothing they could do, it was a road that she chose for herself and she must face it alone. Rick had given her space and time to talk before he thought about approaching her but every time he tried she would turn the other way to avoid confronting him. It frustrated him every time she did that. He wanted to let her know that it wasn't what she thought, that he truly loved her. He didn't want to use her but that's exactly what he did.
Rick and Shane had headed out to drop the kid Randell but came back with him. He knew Maggie and they weren't left with many options left. Alex and Rae watch as they put him back in the small shed nodding at them to head to the camp for a meeting.
Everyone was gathered around the small camp fire. Rick stood waiting for Daryl to come back from his interrogation. "So, what are you gonna do?" Lori asked pouring a cup of water for her son and one for herself.
"We'd all feel better if we knew the plan." Carol said seeing that Rick wasn't going to be speaking any time soon.
"Is there a plan?" Andrea said stepping forward, "We gonna keep him here?"
"We'll know soon enough." Rick said, his hands rested on the back of his gun as Daryl walks out of the shed heading their way with a bloody knuckle.
"Boy there's got a gang, 30 men. They got heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here; our boys are dead. Our women – they'd wish they were." Daryl said relaying the information he'd gotten from the boy.
"What did you do?" Carol asked obvious to his bloody knuckles. "Had a little chat." He replied moving over to the side closer to the group.
"No one goes near this guy." Rick declared, "What are you gonna do?" Rae asked seeing no other alternatives then taking the kids life but she was wishing that it didn't come down to that.
"We have no choice. He's a threat." Rick said quietly his final choice agreeing with what Shane offered at first when they brought him back. "We have to eliminate the threat."
Dale stepped up ready to fight for a young man's life. "You're just gonna kill him?"
"It's settled. I'll do it today." Rick said heading over with Dale on his tail. "Mom." Alex shook her mom and she knew what her choice was. "I know, honey. I know. Stay here." Rae said making sure she stayed seated before jogging over to Rick and Dale who were intensely in a conversation.
"We can't call a witness, go before a judge." Rick said as Rae stepped closer to their conversation.
"So, he's automatically guilty by association and sentenced to death?"
"He's just a kid, Rick. He doesn't deserve this." Rae said stepping beside Dale agreeing with his opinion.
"You were all for it a week ago." Rick said frustrated that she was only speaking to him now regarding the topic.
"That was a week ago, when my daughter was still bedridden. Now she's fine, she can run on her own two feet again. I have nothing else to worry about. There is no need to take anyone's life." Rae argued back defending her reasoning for what she said last week.
"And what do you suggest we do?" Rick asked looking at them both. None of them had an answer for him.
"We can take him in. He can become part of us. We took you in, we can help him too. He's just a kid." Rae said coming up with a solution that didn't sound that good but it was something. She had to fight for this, for her daughter and for herself. She needed to find a sense of humanity left in her to hold on for. She knew that for her daughter she could do anything and it wasn't bad that she could it was just the things she could do for her daughter survival. It scared her because she didn't know that, that part of her was alive.
"The groups already made their decision." Rick said after considering her eyes, a pair of eyes that he's missed over the short period of not being able to talk to her or see his reflection in her eyes. They said everything he needed to know about her.
"That's because you didn't give them time to think about it, to process it."
"We can't drag it out any longer." Rick shook his head knowing that he didn't want to make that shoot but he'd have to for the sake of his son and unborn child whether it was his or not.
"Think-think about Carl! About Alex! She doesn't want you to kill the man. What kind of message are you sending them? Shoot first, think later?" Rae wouldn't back down and Rick was hoping that they would be able to convince him otherwise because he didn't want to take an innocent man's life. Not knowing whether he was innocent or not was not his decision but he still held those rules nearby.
"I'm trying to teach my – our daughter about humanity. I can't just let you kill a man- a child in cold blood because he may possibly be a threat to us. That's not who you are. Don't become that person." Rae said resting her hand on his beating heart hoping that she'll get through to him.
"Don't let the end of the world affect who you become. Don't be like Shane, look at him. Do you see the same man you were partnered with anymore? You know the answer to that, don't become like him. You are better, you can be better." The palm of her hand resting on his chest brought warmth but it angers him also. The fact that it took her a whole week to speak to him and not about them but about someone else.
"We can't be sure that he's not a threat to us. We have to do this." Rick said finally gathering his thoughts. He couldn't think about her, he had to see the whole group on it. They put their lives on his hand, he couldn't risk it for the sake of his daughter, his son or her. He had to do it, there was no way around it. Lori was pregnant and he couldn't risk any threat with her medical history. The conflict could be seen clearly in his eyes but they disappeared and his eyes harden. He made his choice, it didn't matter if he liked it or not it was the best choice for everyone.
"No, we don't." Rae argued pushing her palm closer to his heart. They were so close together yet so far, he could reach his arm out and feel her but it felt like she was going to disappeared if he did. As long as she was still in his view he didn't care that they weren't together. As long as she was around, he could do this because he knew that at the end of the day, she would stand by his side no matter what kind of choice he made. He could be a leader because of her and if she ever disappeared from his world, it may come crumbling down.
"Give- Give me a day to talk to everybody." Dale said stepping in seeing the resolve in Rick's eye. He didn't want to turn into the type of person to take an innocent man's life. He still wanted to cling onto the little hope of humanity left in the world. He didn't want to become one of those people like who Shane was turning into. Shane wasn't that type of person at the start but then everything changed and he changed. Dale didn't want to become someone who can take someone's life without a second thought.
"We reconvene at sunset, then what happens, happens." Rick said knowing that he didn't want to kill Randall but if he had too, he would.
Dale nod his head and hurries to head out trying to convince the group because he knew he already had Rae's vote. He left Rae and Rick alone together. It became awkward quickly, Rae wanted to leave but the look in Rick's eye made her stay. She wanted to run and hide from those blue eyes like a coward she was but she couldn't endure more pain from him if that was all he was giving her.
"Mom!" Alex yelled interrupting them before any words could be exchange. Rae silently cursed her daughter but she also felt relieved that Alex interrupted them. Rae pass slowly by Rick stopping beside him with a final glance at him. He didn't turn to look at her, he couldn't. He let her walk away from him again.
"Come on." Rae said wrapping her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "We have until sunset to convince everyone. Dale's gonna be talking to everyone." Rae explains knowing the look on her daughter that she wanted to know the results of what was going to happen.
"It shouldn't be a question if we need to kill him or not. We're not murders." Alex stated as she was confused with the decision.
"I know, honey. I know. It's – it's just a hard time for everyone, okay?" Alex crossed her arms blaming one person. She glared at her so-called father before walking after her mother. "Come on, let's get some more training in you. Build up those muscles you lost from sleeping too much." Rae teased her but it was the truth. Alex has lost some pounds from that long coma, she needed to eat as much as she could and work out. She wasn't at 100% but she was strong enough to defend herself against one walker.
For the rest of the day Rae watch and trained with her daughter. As the sunset came closer, Rae came to dread what would come next. Watching Dale try to convince everyone wasn't working, she could see that he at most only convince maybe one or two but that was it. It wasn't going to be enough to spare Randall's life. Rae could see the result already and it wasn't pretty.
Rae sent Alex inside the house to help the others for dinner. "It's almost time." Rae said quietly as she stood next to him.
"Not avoiding me anymore." Rick said ignoring her first words.
"I wasn – " Rae started but stop seeing the look Rick gave her. He knew she was going to lie and she herself knew it too. "I just needed sometime to myself." She said with a dry chuckle.
"A whole week? You're pulling away from the group, any reason why?" Rick said meeting her dry chuckle with one of his own.
"I'm not pulling away- I'm just…" Rae said trying to find the reason why but there wasn't one. She needed time alone, time to think and it just so happens that she's pulling away from the group because of that. There's no reasonable explanations as to why, it just was the way it was. "Look, I'm not here to talk about us if there was an 'us.' I'm here because I can already see the results and I know it's not easy for you."
She ignored the way Rick turned to face her. She set her eyes on the beautiful orange sunset with a red sky. It was a beautiful sight yet what came next made it very ugly to look at. "I told you're not that kind of man. You don't have to kill someone to prove that you have guts. Despite everything you put me through, I still believe in you. You don't have to do this." Rae said her hand gripping his that rested on the old white paint.
"I do. I brought him here. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did. I have to do whatever it is to keep these people safe. I'm ready." Rick said gripping her hand tighter as he spoke.
"No one is ever ready to take an innocent man's life, Rick." Rae said letting out a humor laugh.
"It has to be me." Rick started ignoring the shake of her head. "I let you take care of Sophia when I couldn't. I can do this. They look to me, I have to do this."
"What do you have to prove? You're our leader. That's the end of it. No questions asked."
"I have to do this." Rick said like he was telling himself and her repeatedly that he was getting tired of it. "You once said, that through everything you'd be by my side through everything and support me."
"I do." She said without a second's hesitation. He could believe in her and depend on her because she was there to be by his side and support him no matter how stupid her love for him is.
"But you didn't say you think I'm making the right call."
"Because you're not." Rae said with a smile.
"This is the right call." He said after a pregnant silence. "Let's gather up."
"We don't have to become killers to survive the world Rick. Trust me, I'd know." Rae said leaving those words echoing through his mind. The way she wanted to see the world was changing, she just didn't know how bad it was becoming. It was going to be a challenge for her when she meets with everything she thought this world wasn't going to be.
Rae didn't join the group until later in the conversation. She already knew she was on the losing team no matter how much Dale fought for a human's life, he was going to lose. No one else wanted to speak their thoughts, they wanted to live so they couldn't risk any more threats. The wind wasn't blowing in their favor, Randall is going to die one way or another.
Carol spoke out but not for her decision, she didn't want to carry the guilt of an innocent man's life on her hands. That was what she was afraid of and she didn't want any part of what they were going to do. But in all truth, every single person in the room was a part of the decision made whether they kept their silence or not. Not speaking out was killing Randall and the team that spoke out was on the losing side. There was no way of winning.
"If we do this, the people we were, the world that we knew, is dead. And this new world, it's ugly, harsh, it's a 'survival of the fittest! That's a world I don't wanna live in and I don't- I don't believe that any of you do!" Dale pleaded with the group. "Let's just do what's right!" His hat in hand gripped tighter when no one responded. "Isn't there anybody else that's gonna stand with me?" No one could stare at the man, they knew that they were going to have to carry the guilt forever because they knew he was right.
"He's right," Andrea spoke up. "We should try to find another way."
"Anybody else?" No one spoke up but Rick could see that Rae wasn't even paying attention. "Rae?" He asked grabbing her attention.
"You know where I stand. I haven't changed my mind but you're gonna kill him anyways." She said grabbing everyone's attention. "No matter what we say, the decision has been made. Everyone's too scared to speak up and you're going to be left to carry all the weight Rick. They're gonna hide in their tents and pretend that an execution isn't happening 20 feet away from where they sleep. They're gonna push it to the back of their mind and you'll be left to carry it all."
No one could meet her gaze as she looked around the room. Only Rick's eye stayed true to her but even then, the guilt in his eyes could be seen. Dale shook his head and walked out but not before stopping by Daryl to tell him that the group is broken.
"I thought you were a better person than that, dad." Alex said coming into the room spatting at the word 'dad' she couldn't believe her ears and the decision of the group. The pain double in his eye making him grip the back of the couch even tighter.
When the sun had fully set, everyone sat by the fire together as Rick, Shane and Daryl retrieved Randall from his shed and walked over to the barn that once held walkers. Alex held her hand tighter knowing that a single gunshot was going to be echoing through the night. Alex leaned into Rae's chest holding her tightly not wanting to hear anything. She didn't want any memories to return, she knew that if they did. She would break, knowing that they were taking an innocent man's life like she once had.
"We're keeping him in custody for now." Rick said as the group waited for an answer from him since they didn't hear a gun shot. Rae let out a sigh of relief and whispered the good news to her daughter's ears. Alex sat up and walked over to where Rick and Lori were having a conversation. She surprised Rae and Rick herself, when Alex hugged him. Rick couldn't look much happier finally being able to hug his daughter.
"I'm gonna find Dale." Andrea announced getting up happily. She was practically bouncing on her toes bringing a smile to Rae's face.
A few tears escaped Rick as he bent down slightly to bring Alex closer to him. The scene before her was beautiful, Rae couldn't be happier. A scream tore that happiness away from them. In just under a second, Alex and Carl were pushed onto Lori to take care of before she ran after the group. She found them huddle up together in the middle of the field. There laid Dale with his intestines hanging out of his body and a dead walker to the side. Rick yelled for Hershel and when he did arrive he tells the group that it was too late. Dale couldn't be saved and that only brought more guilt to the group. All who stood against him even when they knew that his words were the truth and what they should have done instead of being cowards and taking the easy way out.
"He's suffering. Do something!" Andrea cried seeing the only man left in the world who treated her with love and care. He was the only one who cared and loved her when her sister died. He stood by her like a father and loved her like a daughter. She was losing someone once again to the stupid walkers. The pain was too great and it was breaking her piece by piece.
Rick held the gun to his head but looking into his eyes, he couldn't take it and he couldn't pull the gun like he couldn't earlier in the barn on that kid. His hands shook and he lowered the gun letting Daryl take it from him.
"Goodbye, brother." He said his finally words before pulling the trigger killing him instantly.
AU: I changed the title to Toxic Love because as I write this story I realized that the connection they share is toxic. It matches the story perfectly. Lol. Thanks for reading! 3 more reviews please!