Chapter Ten
Back to the Flashback, 13 years ago.
Cassie was now in her fifth month. Her tiny stomach now had a nice pregnancy bump. To keep her mind off of her emotions, she kept up her work with the Hork-Bajir, trying to get out to the valley as much as possible. But it was getting harder now. After her first trimester, she couldn't morph at all.
The Andalites never told her about THAT side effect. But pregnant morphers probably never crossed their minds.
Plus, in the last few days, she was having sharp pains in her stomach. At first, she thought it was the little one kicking. But lately, it'd been taking the breath out of her, draining her energy.
Maybe something was wrong with the baby...
She put on her overalls over her T-shirt and stuck her old work boots on her feet. She'd had the same ones in her closet since the beginning of the war. Smiling, she pulled them out and put them on her feet. Then she stood up and looked around.
A familiar picture was on her dresser. Two teens in a roller-coaster car, laughing at each other as the roller coaster was about to drop them down. She remembered this picture.
It was from the Gardens. Jake took her there for their second date.
For some reason, she never took the picture frame down, even after the war. It used to remind her of happier days. Now...
I would kill him if I had the chance.
Her hand shook as she touched it. Instantly, she could feel the pain returning to her abdomen. Cassie clutched her stomach as she fell to the carpet. The waves were so intense, she felt like someone was stabbing her to death.
"Mom, Dad!" she cried out.
Her parents came rushing into the room, still in their pajamas.
"It's my stomach..." she put her hand over it.
"Can you get up?" her father asked.
She shook her head. "It hurts too much,"
"I think we should take her to the hospital," her mother nodded her head in agreement. John picked her up and carried her gently out of the house to their truck.
"I'll drive. You just make her as comfortable as possible." Cassie's mom took the keys and they made their way to the ER.
Mostly because of her celebrity, she was seen right away by the doctors. They took her to the examination room and ran some tests.
The rest of the morning was waiting, waiting, and more waiting. They drew blood from her and the fetus and stuck an IV in her arm.
After what seemed like forever, the doctor came in.
"Hi, Cassie, Dr. and Dr. Branch. I'm Dr. Rodriguez." he closed the door.
"What's going wrong, Doc?"
"Well, there's no easy way to say this but-"
I lost the baby?
"- it looks as if you have an Rh Sensitization to the baby that you are carrying. The red blood cells your baby is making are being destroyed by your immune system. If we don't intervene quickly, the unborn child could die."
Her mother held up a hand to her mouth in shock.
"But this is her first child! I thought that this disease was more common after the first pregnancy.,"
"Well, the father of the baby must have a positive blood type, because your daughter is O negative,"
Cassie was confused.
"Wait, my baby has a positive blood type? How did that happen?"
"Well, it's more common to see this when the baby is of biracial or multi-racial descent. We ran the DNA of your baby, your daughter is fifty percent Caucasian. "
Cassie closed her eyes and leaned back against the thin hospital mattress.
A girl. I'm going to have a little girl.
"As it is, we can give her an intrauterine blood transfusion, but the baby would be best served with the blood of the father himself, or a close relative. You'll need a transfusion every month until the baby is born. After the procedure, I can start scheduling you. Your blood sugar was also dangerously high. Especially on an empty stomach. We ran some more tests and we also believe that you have gestational diabetes. It's common in young pregnancies..."
Cassie started to tune him out. She was truly dumbfounded.
After everything else he's done to me...
The doctor smiled as he finished talking.
"Don't worry, we caught this in time. If you take your insulin shots and have your transfusions, you should be able to carry the fetus to term. I'll write some prescriptions that you can pick up in the pharmacy as soon as your IV is done."
The doctor walked out.
Cassie's Mom came over to give her a hug.
"Cassie, sugar...I'm so sorry,"
"There's nothing I can do about it now...I have to be strong, for my daughter."
"You also have to tell his parents. I've been watching you these past few months. You haven't called them or anyone on his side of the family. Not even Jordan and Sara.They deserve to know." Alisha gave Cassie a major guilt trip.
Cassie nodded her head. She was right, she couldn't hide the truth anymore
She took her father's hand and he helped escort her to their door. Jake's door.
This all used to be so familiar... she thought to herself as she knocked.
After a minute, the door opened.
Jean came to the threshold.
"Cassie? Wow! This is a surprise! We haven't seen you in a while! How are you? Please, come in!"
Cassie gave a timid smile and followed Jean into her living room. It was bizarre. There were pictures of Tom all around. Like a shrine. But almost none of Jake. Cassie wasn't going to push it. Lord knows they had enough to deal with.
The Armed Forces had recently deemed him as missing in action. But Cassie knew in her heart of hearts he was gone forever.
Jake's father came from the kitchen with a tray of iced tea.
"Would you like something to drink? We were just about to eat lunch before I start my shift,"
He placed the tray on the coffee table and sat next to his wife. In him, Cassie could see all of Jake's strong features, but older and sadder with time.
He was also wearing a yarmukle, something that Cassie had rarely seen him do.
"No, no thanks. I...um...probably shouldn't have any..."
"So how have you been? Are you expecting?"
"I...you two might want to take a deep breath." she paused, and continued, "Five months ago, right before Jake went on his...mission, I saw him. We...ended up spending the night together, And...the next thing I knew...I was pregnant."
Their eyes widened.
Jean's breath got short.
"You can't be serious!" she gasped. "I thought you-Jake-you're PREGNANT?"
She fainted.
"I didn't expect that," Alisha muttered.
Steve helped his wife wake up and sit back down on the couch. He was in as much shock as she was.
"How did this happen? I can't believe-" Jean was rambling in disbelief. Steve couldn't say anything. He just got up and walked to the window. In the distance Cassie could see a rusted basketball hoop.
"It's been five months since I've heard anything from Jake. No one has. We were hoping you knew, but Jean and I, we didn't want to bother you. Every day, we just couldn't believe, that we lost another son. We worked hard all our lives to raise our boys, and they're gone,"
He turned to face me. I could see his eyes were wet with tears.
"...But now...you've come, with, with this gift."
"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Jean finally exclaimed.
Cassie put a hand over her stomach.
"I..I couldn't, I was too embarrassed...Jake and I-" she started to explain.
"Yeah, Your boy walked out on her. Didn't even have the decency to say goodbye. That's a lot to be embarrassed about." John grunted.
"Wait, so you're blaming our son's actions on US?" Jean held a hand up to her chest.
"Yes. He hurt Cassie. More than you think." John stroked his daughter's hair.
"Excuse me, but it takes two to make a baby-" Jean retorted.
"And Cassie's going to be raising it." John snapped back.
"STOP. PLEASE!" Cassie finally screamed.
She clutched her stomach. All the stress from the argument was making her sick.
"Oh, Cassie, is it the baby again?" Her mom's face was filled with worry.
"Wait, what's wrong with it?" Steve rushed over to her.
"I..I have Rh sensitization. That's what we were coming over here to tell you. I'm going to lose the child unless I have a transfusion of blood from a close relative of Jake."
Jean looked worried.
"Well, Jake and I have the same blood type. A positive." she said.
"Honey, you'll have to give blood to Cassie until she's ready to deliver." Steve said. "Her condition is serious."
Jean wiped her eyes. She had been crying silently.
"Cassie, if you will let me, I'd be more than willing to do this. I've already lost my sons." She reached over and touched Cassie's stomach, "Please don't let me lose my grandchild too."
She touched Jean's hand.
And I don't want to lose her either,"
Jake's mom smiled. A slow smile. A very familiar one, that almost didn't belong on her face.
"A little girl. Jean, they gave us a little grandgirl." Jake's dad was wistful as he started to hug his wife," Thank you for letting us have a
second chance."
Cassie was sitting on her back porch, reflecting. It was chillier, because of the winter, but still in the mid-sixties. But she wanted to be out here anyway. Looking at her land, it gave her a sense of peace. She knew the fields, the woods, like the back of her hand.
And she'll know them too, she thought while patting her VERY round mid-section.
For the last four months, Cassie underwent routine blood transfusions with Jean so that the baby could stay healthy. Jean sat right beside her, getting her blood taken and then put into Cassie's womb.
On every single one of those days, Jean held her hand, and helped her through it. The transfusions were painful and made her nauseous.
But not as painful as thinking about Jake.
And the rest of Jake's crew.
Pissed off didn't even begin to describe how mad the Pentagon was. All they knew was that Jake stole a bug fighter and took Tobias, Marco, and two of his students with him. They called Cassie almost every week, hoping to find out about his whereabouts. Apparently, he was in big trouble.
But not the type of trouble he'll be in if I find him first.
Most of her family was going to be in town for her baby shower in a few days. Other than Jake's parents, only Jordan and Sara were going to come. Jake's family was still very much split over the war.
Maybe some wounds are impossible to heal.
She decided to get her dad from the clinic. Since she was pregnant, he wouldn't allow her to help out on surgeries or with general help, since she was so far along. And going out to the Valley was not an option. She felt so lazy with nothing to do but eat for two. Hopefully he could help with picking out the right wallpaper for the nursery.
As she walked across the field, she could feel her pelvic area start to spasm. She gasped and fell down. She was wet!
Oh god, she was going into labor!
"DAD! DAD!" Cassie crawled to her feet. This pain was intense. It was like...she couldn't even describe it.
John came running out of the clinic.
"What is it, Cassie?"
"Dad...I think..."
He looked at her,
"Cassie, oh God, what's wrong?"
"I think, I think the baby's coming!"
He picked up his daughter's little body.
"We're going to the hospital. I'll call your mom, she's lecturing at the University. She, your Nana, and your Grammy can meet us at the hospital."
Cassie was set up in her own birthing suite. This was the worst pain she ever experienced in her life. All of the Lamaze classes her Dad arranged for her weren't helping.
"Breathe, Cassie, BREATHE!" Her mom said. She was standing next to the obstetrician.
"The baby''s not coming, Dr. Branch," the obstetrician said.
"DADDY!" Cassie screamed. ""I''m here, sweetheart, I''m here."" He came over to hold Cassie''s hand. Since she was near her due date, her parents, grandmother, and great grandmother were all in the delivery room trying to aid in the birth.
But something was going wrong.
"Push baby push," Cassie''s grandmother put a wet cloth on her forehead to take away the perspiration.
They had been at this for a couple hours, and no progress had seemed to be made.
''Uh……how long……" Cassie panted.
"Sometimes babies come in 30 minutes, I''ve been in situations where it takes 30 hours-"
"AAAHHH!" Cassie screamed.
"That's not a labor scream," Cassie's mom said. "I''m going to take a look,"
"Dr. Branch-" the obstetrician started to say.
"I'll have you know that my wife has helped to give birth to a giraffe, an elephant, and a gorilla, all in the past year." John was getting frustrated.
"Sweetheart, I''m going to take a look, I promise that we''ll figure out the problem."
"JAKE IS WHAT''S WRONG! HE DID THIS TO ME! I SWEAR……AAHHHHH!" Cassie moaned in pain again. It felt like she was losing her grip on consciousness.
"Oh God, Dr. Walters, the baby hasn't turned all the way. The umbilical cord, and the Rh, I''m going to take her up to surgery, we need to do a C-section immediately." He turned to one of the nurses.
"Call Dr. Palmer, stat! He's on duty. And Dr. Berenson."
"Berenson? He's this baby's grandfather! Where is he?" John growled.
The doctor blinked.
"What?"
"It''s complicated. Just get him in here."
"His shift starts in a few minutes, he should be here, and his wife volunteers here with the newborns……."
"His son knocked my baby girl up, and then left her! Get them in HERE!" John screamed.
"I''ll get him now sir," an orderly ran to the Nurses' station
"Mom……" Cassie's voice got weaker.
"Baby, it''s going to be ok, just stay with us,"
"The baby didn't turn? Is that what he said?" Cassie's Grammy said, hobbling over on her cane.
"Yes Grandma." Alisha was holding Cassie's other hand.
"Oh, I know how to fix that."
"Excuse me ma'am, this is a medical emergency."
"Look here sonny, I done been there and helped birth hundreds of babies, including two in this room. I think I can figure this out. Cassie, baby, I want you to take a deep breath. You got good genes. I know my baby can do this."
She nodded her head and drew a breath in
The doctor just stood back,
"I could lose my license-"
Alisha shot him a glare.
He shut up.
"Now this is what you do,"
Cassie's Grammy reached in,
"I feel a shoulder! Cassie, I''m going to turn the baby,"
Whatever her Grammy did, it worked, Cassie felt a LITTLE better, despite having the feeling that her insides were getting torn out.
"Now the head is there. Cassie, you need to push that baby like there is no tomorrow. It will all be over if you can do that for your Grammy. Can you do that?"
Cassie nodded her head, half conscious.
Just then, Jake's parents came in.
"Cassie, I had no idea you were going into labor!" he ran over to her bedside.
"Steve, that doesn''t matter now!" Jean held onto him, "Let the poor girl have some space,"
"It''s ok, its ok, It''s good that you both are here," Alisha said,
John just coughed.
"Hey, it''s not my fault that Jake-" Steve started to say.
"Please, both of you," Jean said. "Cassie, are you doing ok?"
"Hush,"
"PUSH CHILE PUSH! PUSH LIKE MOMMA SAID!" Cassie''s grandmother said.
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Cassie pushed with all of the strength left in her body and slumped over.
A little cry pierced the air.
"Waaaahhhhh!"
"It''s here! It''s here! You''re baby is here!"
Cassie peered over at her grandmother. Her dad rushed over to cut the umbilical cord.
The doctor just blinked.
"It''s white, and there's skin on her face." He said, dumbfounded.
Cassie's grandmother gingerly took the caul off.
"Like I said. It''s complicated. Jeez, has anyone ever seen a mixed-race child before? This is the 21st century," John inquired.
"Your baby has a caul on its face, it''s a seer." Cassie''s Grammy said, absently. No one was paying attention in all the madness.
"My little one is here?" Cassie panted, breathlessly.
"Your girl, a gorgeous, healthy baby girl." John handed the child over to Cassie, and she held it in her arms.
The baby opened her eyes, and two familiar, strong brown eyes looked back at her.
His eyes. Why?
"Well, what are you going to call her?" Jean asked.
Cassie knew all along.
"I'm going to call her Rachel. Rachel Nicole Branch."
It was her first night back at the house.
Her first night home with little Rachel. It was anything but peace and quiet. Rachel was driving her CRAZY with her crying! She wouldn't stop, and Cassie didn't know what was wrong.
Since the nursery wasn't done yet, the baby's crib was in her room. So bye-bye sleep.
To tell the truth, Cassie didn't know how to feel. Ever since they took Rachel away from her in the hospital, she felt...down all the time.
Coming home wasn't much better. She was going to have the baby shower, and she didn't even want it.
All she wanted was to curl up in a ball on her bed and pull the sheets over her head.
Like she was doing now.
"Cassie, Cassie, sweetie, what's going on?"
Alisha walked into the room.
"Cass, the baby is crying!"
Cassie didn't say anything. Heavier footsteps followed her mother's, but went over to her crib.
"Oh gosh Alisha, this baby's diaper is nasty! And Rachel is hungry. Cassie, why aren't you helping;"
"I can't,"
"What do you mean you can't? Cassie, you need to learn how to take care of your child!"
"I mean I CAN'T!" she started to cry. "I don't think I'm able to take care of her!"
"Cassie, that's nonsense-"
"You don't understand! Everytime I look in her eyes, I see HIM! It's not fair! Why did he leave me?!?!?"
"Alisha, go downstairs. Get Jean and Steve." John walked over to her.
Jean and Steve were sleeping over tonight with their new granddaughter.
"Baby, I can't imagine what you are going through." He held Rachel and tried to shush her.
Cassie wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"But you've been doing so well, especially since your pregnancy was so hard." her dad continued to say.
"I just feel so horrible. Maybe all the complications in the pregnancy, maybe it's a sign. We, Jake and I, had too much bad Karma to ride into the sunset peacefully," Cassie lamented.
"You can't think that way, Cassie. After all you've been through, this horrible war, hell, I never even thought that aliens existed, much less that they wanted to make us their slaves. You've done so much good, honey. You deserve her. I can't say the same thing about Jake. Now, change her diaper before I pass out from the fumes!" he half-joked.
Cassie unwrapped the diaper and started the arduous process of cleaning the baby and putting on a new one.
Stinky!
After she finished, her Dad beamed with pride. But the baby was still crying.
"See Dad, this is what I was talking about! I can't!"
Thankfully Jake's parents didn't hear her say that as they walked in.
"The baby woke us up. Your Mom said Rachel was crying."
"Yeah,"
"Cassie's having some trouble with the baby," Alisha said as she sat next to her daughter and granddaughter.
"What kind? Cassie, you know you always can come to us for help. All of us have been where you are before."
Cassie bit her lip.
"Oh, listen, she's hungry." Steve immediately picked up.
Everyone looked at her.
"Oh, no, that means,"-Cassie
"Well, you knew it was going to happen. You remember from your parenting classes. You have to feed her."
Cassie was a little embarrassed.
"Can't I just use formula?"
"NO!" all four parents yelled incredulously
Well, here goes nothing.
She picked up the screaming child and sat down. Then she started to feed her. It was a bit embarrassing do it in front of her father and Dr. Berenson, but the breast-feeding started to work. Rachel got quiet.
"Well, that's our cue to head out. Cassie, your father and I have to work in the morning. Jean, Steve, do you mind...?"
"No, that's the reason we're here," Jean smiled.
Alisha kissed her daughter's head.
"We're down the hall if you need us."
Then they left the room, leaving Cassie alone with Jake's parents.
"Cassie, you're doing so well with her," Jean marveled after a few minutes of welcome silence.
"Thank you...Mom and Dad said it wouldn't be easy. Even the animals at the barn were easier. She's so tiny."
"Loud though. Just like Jake..." Jean started to say, "She looks like him too, especially the eyes."
"Cassie, I need to ask you something." Steve wiped the sleep out of his eyes. "One thing I truly regret is not teaching my boys everything I could about themselves, their heritage. Now, I know you aren't Jewish, and you probably want to baptize Rachel...but it would warm my heart if you would let her have a naming ceremony. Jake...he's gone, but it can still be done."
Cassie gulped. As long as she could remember, her family had been Catholic.
"This wouldn't mean-"
"No, no...I just want her to know her history, where she comes from."
"Steve, I would love to. Jake would want her to have one."
He smiled. Steve's happiness was radiant.
"Well, who would be there?"
"Besides the members of the congregation, my family. My wife's too. Everyone's so excited to see her. The phone has been ringing off the hook."
"Almost everyone. I still can't believe Naomi...trying to poison those girls."
"Jordan and Sara? I thought they were going to come to the baby shower on Saturday." Cassie was confused.
"Yes. Naomi and Dan...they don't want us to see them. They're still angry. About Jake. It's the one thing they can agree on." Jean frowned.
"It's torn my family apart. But Jordan said she'd find a way to get the both of them over here." Steve looked out the window.
"Well, maybe she can bring everyone back together." Cassie checked down on the
baby, "It looks like she's done feeding."
Cassie closed the front of her pajama top and started to burp Rachel. She gurgled and smiled.
That smile...like it almost didn't belong on her cute face.
It broke her heart.
Every day, this baby was looking more and more like him.
She walked her back over to her crib and pulled the blanket up to her chin. Rachel's thin curls of brown hair were starting to come in and shoot out of her head. Her skin was still pink, but she was developing the first traces of a honey brown color.
She was a beautiful baby. She even looked a bit like...the other Rachel.
"Steve, that's fine. She's not just my daughter, she's your granddaughter too, and I'm willing to do anything to help you..through this."
"Thank you," they both embraced her in a long hug.
(Rae)
I was shocked. I didn't know what to say.
The only thing I could do is inch closer to Mom and give her a hug.
"Mom, I had no idea,"
"Now you see why I didn't tell you when you were younger." She brushed some stray hair from my face. "It was painful...it still is painful to think about,"
Her eyes were tearing up.
"I lost your father, and I almost lost you. Everyone expects me to be this perfect person...but, no one can be perfect all the time, Rae. And when you ran out last night, I thought I lost you for good."
I knew this wasn't Mom's psychobabble. These were her real feelings.
"So does that mean-"
"No, you're still grounded Rachel. But I wanted to show you that I'm not the monster you must think I am."
"I don't think you're a monster Mom. Dad is. I can't belive he did that to you! He was horrible!"
She took my hand.
"Listen, Rachel, your father is not evil."
"But how can you forgive him after all of that?"
"I never said I forgave him. Completely anyway."
REALLY?
"But he's done so much good since he returned. For all of us. Especially for you. One day you will understand." Mom helped me stand up. "Now, it's time you see something else."