"No...no... No!"

The scream pierced the silence of their bedroom and as Kathryn jerked awake, she realized it was a cry of fear and pain.

"Chakotay?"

She reached out for him in the darkness. He was sitting up in bed beside her, his hands to his face, his shoulders heaving with each deep breath. She could feel him trembling.

Quickly, she leaned over and retrieved the hypospray that she'd placed on the bedside table the night before. As she moved, she heard his sharp intake of breath. Just that slight movement had jarred his leg, and she suspected that he was in pain.

She pressed the hypospray to his neck; she felt him relax almost instantly. But still, his breathing was ragged, and he continued to tremble. She returned the hypospray to the table, and then placed her hands on his shoulders and back, gently kneading the remaining tension in his muscles.

"Chakotay? Tell me about it."

She knew he'd been dreaming. And not a pleasant dream. A nightmare. A rare occurrence for him. But with the stress of the last few days, not surprising. He usually didn't relate the details of his nightmares, preferring to share the good dreams with her instead. She knew he didn't want to burden her with the ghosts of his past, but there were times, like now, when she knew he needed to.

"Chakotay?" She pulled him gently back into her arms, settling herself against the headboard.

He was stiff and unyielding at first, but then he sank into her embrace, allowing his head to rest on her shoulder. She rubbed her hand over the side of his face, his cheek scratchy with a day's growth of beard, and she wiped away the cold beads of perspiration covering his skin.

"Shh. You're all right," she soothed. "I'm here."

She felt him swallow convulsively, and then he nodded. "I...know," he murmured, his voice hoarse. He shuddered, and she held him tighter.

"Tell me about it. Please. It'll help." She kissed his forehead. "I promise."

"You always...say that," he breathed, not looking up at her.

It was easier that way. She knew that, too. Easier to share the bad dreams as long as he wasn't looking at her.

"What was it about, Chakotay?"

"First time... I broke my leg."

"On the Ocampa homeworld?"

He shook his head. "That...wasn't the first time."

And he told her a story he'd never told her before. A story he'd never told anyone. A story he'd tried to forget.

A nightmare he never could.

They pushed him roughly into the cell, the force causing him to lose his balance and fall flat on his face, his legs spread-eagled. With his hands manacled behind him, there was no way to break the fall, and the stone floor rushed up at him, slapping into his forehead, biting into his skin, causing fresh blood to run down his cheeks and mingle with the dirt and traces of dried blood that already stained his face.

He didn't move, didn't try to stand, even as heavily booted feet kicked him along his arms and legs, his back, hips, the sides of his chest. He heard a crack, felt the pain under his arm, knew that a rib had been broken. Maybe two.

The next kick turned him over onto his side. And the next connected with his stomach, and then his groin. He doubled up, trying to protect his stomach area, only to feel the toe of a boot land on his exposed neck and the back of his head. The next impact brought darkness.

When his eyes opened, he was no longer on the floor of the cell. He was hanging by his arms, his wrists manacled to a rod above his head. His feet barely touched the floor beneath him. He moved slightly, and felt sharp pain lance through his entire body. He knew they'd continued to beat him even after he'd passed out. It was their way.

He looked down, saw that he was naked. Another of their practices. Stripping their prisoners of every shred of humanity. He could see that he was bruised and bleeding in several places. He felt as if he were on fire, except in his shoulders where he could no longer feel anything at all.

And then lights flashed on in the semi-darkness. And a face appeared before him.

"Welcome...Maquis." The voice was cold, calculated. "We're so glad you...dropped in to visit us. We'll try to make your stay...comfortable."

And from the shadows, two guards appeared, both carrying clubs. And the blow that landed on his right shin snapped the bone instantly. He cried out. And the next blow, along his back, caused the lights to go out. Again.

Kathryn sat frozen in the darkness, her arms around him. He'd told her everything, every detail. Waking up afterwards strapped to a metal chair, having the Cardassian "doctors" perform several "experiments" on him before they mercifully threw him back into his cell, where he lay crumpled on the floor, his leg and ribs still broken, his left shoulder dislocated. His vision blurred, head pounding. Until a group of Maquis had over run the stronghold and found him, barely alive.

"I...I didn't talk for three days." He swallowed convulsively, and groaned at the lingering memories.

She felt his lips trembling against her neck. Soothingly, she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I didn't want to," he whispered raspingly. "I was...afraid. And when I did...speak...I never told anyone...what it was like." He bent his head back, and stared up at her. "Until now." Tears slipped from his eyes. "I'm sorry...Kathryn." He drew in another ragged breath. "I shouldn't...have told you."

"Shh. Yes. You should have. Don't ever be afraid to tell me anything." She rubbed her hands along his cheeks, held his face steady. "I love you. And believe me, I am strong enough to listen to your nightmares."

He nodded and collapsed into her arms, allowed her to hold him while he cried the last of the tears that he'd held inside for so long.

~vVv~

He slept peacefully now, curled close to her, his hand holding hers. He'd held on to her all night. And she'd held on to him.

She'd often wondered about his life with the Maquis. How dangerous it had been, how frightening and lonely. Especially for an ex-officer. A man who had believed in the ideals and precepts laid down by Starfleet. A man who must have felt betrayed by all he'd once trusted.

And now, they were together. Starfleet and Maquis.

She gazed down at him, gently tracing her fingers over his forehead, along his eyebrow. And she knew that she could never betray him, even if they were back in the Alpha Quadrant, even if Starfleet expected her to.

This man was safe with her. She knew that. And so did he.

She turned over onto her back, her hand still held securely in his, and watched the room around them grow light with the approaching morning.

And then she felt the baby kick. For the first time.

"Chakotay?" She smiled and drew his hand over to her, opening his fist, placing his palm on her stomach, spreading his fingers. "Wake up," she whispered a little bit louder, almost afraid that her voice would make the baby stop moving.

"Huh?" he grunted, half asleep.

"It's the baby."

His eyes blinked open, and she saw an expression of panic cross his face. "It's all right," she assured. "She's just kicking."

And she felt her again, a foot or a shoulder turning over, bumping into the sides of her womb.

This time the expression on Chakotay's face was one of wonder, his eyes growing large and bright. "I felt her."

"Um-um," Kathryn murmured. "She's awake."

Chakotay grinned when he felt another kick. "She's a little fighter."

Kathryn reached out and ran her hand along his cheek. "She's a warrior...like her father."

~vVv~

The next few days were difficult for Chakotay. The cut on his head healed, as did his concussion, but the leg remained stiff and painful. Kathryn knew that without access to Voyager's sickbay and to the Doctor's expertise, his leg would take some time to mend properly, but it wasn't easy trying to explain that to him.

He wanted to be her warrior. Strong, in control. Taking care of her burdens. Instead, he felt like a burden. She knew that. And she tried to keep up his spirits.

"You know, I could use some help in the garden. The squash is ready to be picked."

He stared over at her. "I really need to go do some fishing."

"Chakotay..."

"I'm just going to sit on the edge of the bank," he grumbled. "I don't have to walk for that." He pushed himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the cane in his left hand.

"You have to walk to get there. And you know how you feel when you overwork yourself." She hated reminding him of the intense muscle strain he experienced when he walked too far, but he had to stop pushing himself. "If you don't take it slowly, it's only going to take longer."

'You've been saying that for almost a week. What if..." His voice trailed off, and he looked away.

"What if...what?" She stepped over to him, touched his arm.

He pressed his lips together and then answered. "What if… I don't get any better?"

"Chakotay... You haven't given yourself enough time." She studied the expression on his face. "This isn't like you. What's wrong?" She touched her fingers to his cheek.

"I..." He shook his head and sighed. "I've just got to be better by the time she gets here."

Kathryn suddenly understood. And she nodded, suppressing the smile that twitched at her lips. "I see." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Chakotay, you're going to be a wonderful father. And you're going to be just fine by the time she gets here. Now, I still need some help in the garden and the fish will still be in the river next week."

He looked up at her and smiled slightly. "All right."

~vVv~

"Now that was good squash casserole... If I say so myself." Chakotay leaned back in his chair, wiping his napkin over his lips, a self-satisfied expression on his face.

"Simply marvelous," Kathryn agreed with an attempt at a French accent.

Chakotay laughed.

And so did she. "Accents were never my specialty."

He tilted his head at her. "Really?" he asked in mock surprise.

"Really." She nodded and reached for her glass. She was pleased to see that he was feeling better, and his sense of humor had returned, but still, she changed the subject before he had a chance to tease her further. "Now, was that some sort of chocolate dessert that I saw before supper?" She took a sip of water.

'Yes. It was." Chakotay got to his feet.

"Let me get it." Kathryn set her glass back on the table and started to stand.

"No." He held up his hand. "I'm fine. Besides, the kitchen is my domain." Leaning on his cane, he moved over to the corner of the cabin and picked up a pie pan. "This dessert is an old family recipe handed down from my great-grandmother to my mother." He turned back and placed the pan on the table. "Although, technically, it was my father who taught me how to make it."

"The more I hear about your father, the more I'm impressed." Kathryn wished she could have known the man. "Was there anything he couldn't do?"

Chakotay smiled and sank back into his chair. "Very little. But you see, the real reason he learned to make this was because my mother finally got tired of making it."

"So, who actually made it better?"

"Uh-uh. We kids never picked sides," Chakotay grinned. "And I still don't."

Kathryn laughed again. 'You're right. When it comes to chocolate, one has to be diplomatic."

And that's when they heard it. A faint noise, like static.

Kathryn glanced around the room. "Do you hear that?"

Chakotay looked up. 'Yes." He rose to his feet again.

Kathryn's eyes stared at the shelf on the opposite wall.

He walked toward it.

The static turned into words as Chakotay took their comm badges from the shelf and returned to the table.

'To Captain Janeway. Do you read me? This is Tuvok calling Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. Please respond."

Chakotay placed the badges on the table and then stood there, leaning on his cane, his gaze focused on Kathryn.

She picked up one of the small devices, held it in her palm. "This is Janeway."

"Captain, it is good to hear your voice. We have medicine which we believe will effectively treat your condition. We plan to be in orbit within thirty hours."

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay. She saw the mixed emotions play across his expression, felt them running through her own mind. His lips pressed tightly together, but then he nodded, a tiny shake of his head. And she felt herself relax, release the breath she was holding.

"We'll be ready, Lieutenant. Contact us when you arrive."

"We look forward to seeing you. Tuvok out."

Kathryn lowered the comm badge to the table. And then smiled. Only Tuvok would have been able to contact them so calmly after over a year of separation. A year.

She looked back at Chakotay. "I don't believe it." She shook her head.

Chakotay pushed his chair closer to hers, and sat down, his hand resting on her knee. "I heard it. It's real. They're coming back for us."

"But it's been...fourteen months." Her eyes searched his. "Where have they been? The time they've lost..."

"Hey..." Strong fingers tightened around her knee. "Let's worry about that when we get back to the ship. Tuvok will have some explanations."

Kathryn gave a short laugh. "Some very logical explanations, I'm sure."

Chakotay grinned. "Of course." And then his expression sobered. "And speaking of explanations... We've got some of our own."

Kathryn nodded slowly, a faint smile crossing her face. 'You're right...we do."

~vVv~

To say that it was the most awkward conversation she'd ever had in her life would have been...telling the truth. A day later, Kathryn Janeway sat at the table explaining to one of her oldest and dearest friends that she and her... newest, oldest, dearest friend were expecting a child.

Tuvok received the news with no trace of emotion in his voice, although Kathryn was fairly sure that she could hear his eyebrows raise in surprise.

'Tuvok... I know this is... something of a shock."

"I am incapable of experiencing emotional shock, Captain," the steady Vulcan replied. "And while I was not expecting your news, I can see where yours and Commander Chakotay's relationship could logically develop into a deeper commitment. You were not expecting us to return. It is logical that you would plan a new life for yourself on the planet, including a family."

Kathryn shook her head. She wouldn't tell him that logic had very little to do with her present condition, but she did feel the need to be honest with him, and although she wasn't sure that she would tell the rest of the crew, she wanted him to know. "Tuvok... Chakotay and I... We didn't plan this child. But we do want it. Very much." She drew in a deep breath. "Could you...inform the senior officers before we transport on board? And the Doctor and Kes." She rubbed a hand over her forehead. There were so many details to think of at once. "I assume you'll be transporting us directly to Sickbay."

'Yes, in order for the Doctor to treat you with the medicine we have acquired."

She exhaled a breath. "That's good. Chakotay broke his leg last week and it still needs some attention."

"As do you, Captain," Tuvok responded. And Janeway realized that was his way of letting her know that he was concerned for her well-being. "I will inform the senior officers, the Doctor, and Kes."

"Thank you."

"As soon as you and Commander Chakotay are safely on board, and we have determined the medicine to be effective, I will dispatch a landing party to pack your equipment before beaming it into one of the cargo bays. You will be able to go through the transport at your convenience."

Kathryn smiled. "As usual, you have it all under control."

And Tuvok replied. "It will be nice when it is under your control again, Captain."

~vVv~

When she materialized in Sickbay, Kes was there, instantly wrapping her arms around her. "Captain, it is so good to see you." Tears filled the young woman's eyes.

Kathryn returned Kes' embrace, holding her for several long moments. "It's good to see you." Her eyes scanned the room. "All of you."

Besides Chakotay and Kes, Tuvok and the Doctor were the only other people present.

Kes drew back and leaned toward the First Officer, giving him a hug as well. "Commander, I'm glad you're back."

'Thank you, Kes. It's nice to be back."

'Tuvok..." Kathryn stepped over to him, and although she knew how he regarded emotional displays, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad to see you."

To his credit, he didn't even lift an eyebrow. "It is good to see both you and Commander Chakotay."

'Yes, yes, it's good to see everyone," the Doctor said brusquely, inclining his head. "Now, perhaps I could examine my patients."

Kathryn rolled her eyes in Chakotay's direction. Some things never changed.

"That would be advisable, Captain," Tuvok agreed. 'The medicine we have secured from the Vidians will hopefully eradicate the virus."

Kathryn glanced over at the Security Chief, fixing him with a steady gaze. "Hopefully," she agreed. "And then we have some talking to do."

'Yes, Captain." He nodded. "I will be on the bridge awaiting to hear from you." And without another word, he strode out the door.

"All right," the Doctor's voice intoned, "if you would please make yourselves comfortable on a biobed, we can proceed."

~vVv~

Twenty minutes later, the results were processed and analyzed. The medicine had been effective. There was no trace of the virus in either of their systems."

"Thank goodness," Kathryn breathed, reaching her hand out across the space between her biobed and the one next to her.

Chakotay's hand met hers, their fingers squeezing together in relief. They smiled at each other. As much as each of them might miss their home on New Earth, neither of them had wanted to actually go back.

The Doctor stopped and sighed, staring down at them. Their joined hands blocked his way.

"Sorry," Kathryn said, pulling her hand away from Chakotay's, a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment crossing her features. She knew it was a feeling that she would have to get used to; she suspected that their relationship would come under close scrutiny from the entire crew. Perhaps the Doctor's reactions would be a good trial to go through.

But whatever he thought about their relationship was offset by Kes' reaction. Kathryn could tell that the young Ocampa thought it was wonderful. As was the fact that they were expecting a baby.

"It will be so good to have another child on board. Ensign Wildman's baby is almost one and a half now." Kes' hand gently patted the captain's arm.

"How is her baby?" Kathryn asked. She'd thought of the child often.

"Oh, she's perfect. So bright and happy. Everyone wants to baby-sit. Even Neelix," she added with a trace of pride. "He's getting to be very good with children."

"Perhaps he can teach Chakotay a thing or two," Kathryn said softly.

"I heard that." Chakotay's voice called from the other bed.

"Speaking of babies, Captain," the Doctor said, "you will be pleased to know that yours is just fine. It shows no adverse effect to your exposure to the virus. In two and a half months, you and Commander Chakotay will be parents. Would you like to know the sex of your child?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you. We already know."

The Doctor looked from Kathryn to Chakotay. "Don't tell me... It came to you in a vision."

Chakotay smiled. "Something like that."

The Doctor turned his gaze back to the captain. "I'd like you to get some rest before I release you."

"Doctor, I'm fine, and I have things to do." She started to get up.

The Doctor placed a hand on her shoulder and held her still. "Not right now you don't."

Kes touched her arm again. "He's right, Captain. You need to rest."

The Doctor stepped away, but Kes stayed beside her, talking to her quietly. "I think by this evening you'll be ready to return to your own quarters. I'm sure it will seem very strange to be back after all this time."

"It will. But I'm looking forward to it. I thought about—"

"Ow!" The sound issued from Chakotay, and the two women looked over at him.

"That did not hurt," the Doctor stated. He was standing next to the biobed, holding Chakotay's right leg. "Either I am experiencing holographic deja vu, or I've repaired this leg before."

Chakotay gave him a slightly irritated look. "It's not deja vu. You've repaired it before. And, yes, it did hurt. It's not your leg."

"Of course, it's not my leg," the Doctor replied somewhat sharply. "I have better sense than to allow my leg to be broken for the third time. That is, if it were possible for my leg to be broken, which it's not." He turned the leg in his hands again, and Chakotay's face tightened.

"Believe me, Doc. It hurts," he managed through gritted teeth.

"Very well." The Doctor dropped the leg back to the surface of the bed.

And Chakotay cringed, glancing over at Kathryn and Kes with a pleading look on his face.

Kes moved over to his biobed. "Doctor, perhaps we should administer a pain suppressant before we continue."

The Doctor drew in a breath. "I suppose if it will make the Commander feel better, although placing him under a bone regeneration unit won't cause him any pain."

"But, it might help him relax," Kes countered. She'd run interference on the Doctor's bedside manner for almost two years now, and although the Doctor was improving, her skills were always beneficial.

Chakotay sighed with relief when he felt the hypospray against his neck. He settled his head on the pillow and watched as the Doctor positioned the regeneration unit over his leg.

"Two hours and you should be as good as new," he said.

Chakotay stared up at him. "Two hours? It didn't take that long last time."

The Doctor frowned, giving him an exasperated look. "Last time you were not foolish enough to walk on it for over a week. Although the bone was set properly, and with time it would have healed just fine, I am afraid that the limited medical expertise available to you on the planet has impeded the healing process. Two hours, Commander, take it or leave it."

"I'll take it."

"Wise choice. Of course, it was the only true option available to you. Now," the Doctor took a step away from his patients, "I suggest the two of you try to get some sleep. I have some reports to write."

And he was gone, disappearing into his office.

Kes remained. "He's gotten better since you've been away. Really, he has. I think...I think he's very relieved to have you back and well... He still gets rather frightened by his own emotions."

"Thats all right, Kes," Kathryn assured her. "I wouldn't have him any other way."

And Chakotay agreed. "Neither would I."

~vVv~

She stood in the middle of her quarters; it was hard to believe she was actually there. Everything was just as she remembered it. And yet... something didn't feel right. Something was missing.

The door chime sounded and she turned. "Come in."

The door slid open and Chakotay stepped inside.

She smiled when she realized that the something that was missing was him.

He stepped over to her and took his hands in hers. "My quarters haven't changed a bit," he said.

They'd decided to return to their cabins on their own for a while, but Kathryn knew that he couldn't have been in his for longer than a few minutes.

"But," he shrugged, "I don't feel like they're my quarters anymore." He exhaled a long breath, his eyes searching hers.

She nodded, feeling the same way. "I know what you mean." She squeezed his hands. "We'll just have to find a new cabin. One with two bedrooms," she added, glancing down at her stomach.

"You're right. Should we go looking for one this afternoon, or stay here for the night?"

Kathryn glanced around the cabin. This wasn't her home anymore; it hadn't been for a very long time. She gazed back into Chakotay's eyes. "Let's not wait. I want to sleep in our new home tonight."

~vVv~