Happy TGutB Tuesday :)
All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, and the lyrics belong to the bands and their record labels. I just think they fit :)

C.10: See Me!

And no one
Thinks they are to blame
Why can't we see
When we bleed we bleed the same?
I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you

Map of the Problematique - Muse

Jasper POV:

Sat here in the backseat with Bella, I could feel her body quivering as she fell into her silence. The full circle of emotions seemed to have taken their toll on her and she clung to me like I was the last thing she had. I felt like an asshole, because all I could think about was keeping her this close to me and never letting go. I didn't know where this connection had come from, and I doubted I ever would. Yet there it was, stronger than anything I'd ever felt before.

I felt like I'd known the girl a lifetime. She was painfully honest and completely blunt. Yet, in the same breath she was forgiving and trusting, and after hearing more of her story I couldn't put my finger on why. Why would she trust anyone? How could she?

I could barely fathom I had only known her for twenty-four hours.

I don't know what had come over me when I picked this girl up off the street last night. She was scruffy looking with barely enough clothes to keep her warm in the blizzard, but seeing her knocked over like that and no one taking a second look, immediately made me feel protective. Her Chocolate brown doe eyes had been filled with a terror I hadn't ever experienced.

She was so small and nervous looking as she darted from the small alley hidden by the multitude of bodies all making their way to their next destination. I had stood by and watched as she stepped into the flow of people, only to be knocked onto her ass by the first person that passed her.

I'd thought I had a decent handle on the world. A good look at both sides of the line, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Bella had opened my eyes in more ways than one since I'd met her. She was an amazing person. Stubborn as a fucking mule, but amazing. Her eyes saw things most of us took for granted.

When she took us to that bridge, I was speechless, and if I was being honest; it scared the shit out of me. It was a littered mess of people and smells, all mingled in with the salt water smell from the bay. The people all looked dark and intimidating, but the way in which she strolled towards her sleeping area, I realized she had no fear here. It made me see how tainted I was when I looked at situations like this. How screwed up my mind was from the preconceived notions society shoved deep down our throats.

All I saw was the bad side of these things. The dirty clothes, the smell, the filth. Then came the assumptions, they did this to themselves, they probably got into drugs. Yet standing there, behind Bella and next to Alice; I realized that they were just trying to get by. That they were each trying to make it in the world with the hand they were dealt. It was a profound moment for me.

Alice had been unusually quiet since I'd carried Bella out from the bridge and back to the car. She'd spoken with John briefly to get all the information so we could arrange something. Julia was all Bella had thought about since opening her eyes this morning. It was obvious they meant something to one another. I assumed that the old woman had taken on a motherly role, something Bella had never had from her own mother.

Watching her heart slowly breaking as she came to, had been difficult. Her red rimmed eyes were filled with pain as Alice explained the situation. It was beginning to feel like the only time I had really seen her had been while she was in pain. The shock of being knocked from her feet, the shock of almost being murdered by an overly horny drunk in a dark alley. Then there was me, hitting her with my fucking car.

I'd seen her too damn late.

I'd just finished saying goodbye to my pain in the ass cousin, Alan. Bella was still on my mind; every one of her features was committed to memory as I'd watched her walk to the end of the street and disappear around the corner. She was amazing, the smile she'd given me as she turned to look back at me had stolen my breath from my chest. Her plump bottom lip had been under a full assault from her teeth as she'd stepped away from my view. The image rolled around in my mind over and over again as I headed out.

I pulled out of the parking garage and into the blizzard, knowing full well I shouldn't really be driving in weather like this, but I didn't want to stay another night. Alan was driving me fucking insane, he was still living where I had spent most of my childhood. It wasn't the best side of town, but Mom had made the place look amazing, she had a knack of taking a bad situation and turning it around and making it positive.

Alan hadn't gotten away from that, the asshole had let it start eating away at him. He walked around with a cocky attitude, slamming into people as they passed by, just to get a damn reaction from them. He fought for fun, and that just wasn't my scene anymore. Even if I had used it to defend Bella earlier in the night.

I pulled out into the street and headed towards home. Well, my parents house. I couldn't exactly call it a home not at that point anyway. I had barely gotten on the road when I saw it. There was something in the street, a someone. I slammed on the breaks and begged for them to find traction on the icy street, but I wasn't that lucky. I plowed into her, and almost threw up when I heard the deafening sound of her body hitting the hood of the damn car.

It took me a second to realize exactly what happened. I sat stunned, completely numb behind the wheel of the car, hoping that whoever the it was would get up and run.

I climbed out of the car and immediately recognized my old winter jacket and panicked. Out of all the people in this godforsaken city, why the hell did I have to hit her?

She still wasn't moving when I approached her, and I moved her small body without thinking, it seemed I had forgotten everything Carlisle had taught me in my panic.

"Jasper," Alice's voice pulled me from my reverie. I realized my shirt was a little damp from Bella's tears and I pushed the hair from her eyes without any thought to the process. It just came naturally. She looked peaceful as she slept, her swollen eyes were relaxed, her breathing was steady and rhythmic, blowing small bands of warm air against my neck.

"Jazz."

"Yeah?"

"Is she asleep?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"What do we do? This is so far over our heads. Bella's been through so much," she sniffled, raising her hand from the steering wheel to wipe away a tear. "I don't want to put her through anymore. We can't . . ."

I knew Alice well enough to realize there was no malicious intent in her statement. She was worried, she didn't want us to make things worse for Bella in our attempts at helping her. Alice had taken an instant liking to Bella, so I knew this was just as hard for her as it was for me. Still, I couldn't let her go, there was no other way than to help her ourselves. Even Carlisle had realized that when I gave him the condensed and edited version of the story.

If he hadn't have believed we were capable of helping her, he would never have let her out of his office. He was too good of a man for that. I already had to call him every day and check in with him; to make sure we weren't overwhelmed, and to make sure Bella was alright. He'd given me a lecture on the code of ethics and how much trouble he'd be in if anyone were to find out.

I wasn't planning on letting him down, and I sure as hell wasn't planning on letting Bella down either.

"Alice, listen to me. If we do anything other than give her our friendship, and try and keep her safe, she'll either run from us or be put back in that place, do you want that on you conscience?"

"No, of course not. I just don't want to see her hurt. And I see the way you look at her."

"Not now, Ali, I promise you and I will talk, but for now . . ."

"I know," she sighed, gripping the wheel again with both hands. "For now I'll just be her friend."

"Thank you."

"Sure, sure,"

I couldn't help smiling at her. She had a deeper understand of me than anyone I had ever met. She'd been the best friend I'd ever known, and even now, in this situation, that rang true. She would do this for me, even if it went against what she thought. The girl was a godsend.

Apparently, she was also highly fucking perceptive.

"So, what's the plan?"

"Plan?"

"She's going to stay in your room?"

"For as long as she wants to. You know my parents are never there, and even when they are, they're so oblivious she won't be noticed."

"In your room, with you?"

"I sleep on the couch, Alice."

Well, that was the plan. I really hadn't meant to fall asleep in the bed with her last night. She'd been the first one to pass out, and I watched her sleeping after I'd called Carlisle. He'd given me the symptoms of concussion. I needed to know what to look for.

"Bullshit, I see that look."

"Well, I intended to!"

I saw the smirk in the rear view and I rolled my eyes. Alice knew me better than that.

"Fine, but when you get tired of hiding the girl under your bed, give me a call."

"Nice, Alice."

Alice giggled and stomped on the gas.

It didn't take us long to get home, it never did when Alice drove. She was like a bat outta hell, and she stopped for no one. When we pulled up at my house, the dark of night was beginning to set in. I knew Alice needed to go soon. Her absence would bring up questions neither of us really knew how to answer right now.

Bella was still out when I moved her into my arms and slid out the back of the Yukon. Carlisle had said that she needed sleep and I was planning on making sure she got all she needed.

"Call me later?" Alice asked, after she'd rolled down the window on the passenger side.

I nodded, and she knew it wasn't just acknowledgment of her question. It was a nod that said thank you, a nod that said I wouldn't have been able to do this alone.

She gave me a small smile before throwing the vehicle into gear and tearing off down the drive.

I shifted Bella's weight in my arms and headed towards the house.

It didn't take me long to get us both inside and up the stairs to my room. She weighed barely enough to register in my arms. I laid her in the bed and pulled the blankets over her body to keep her warm.

"Jasper," her voice was soft, but sounded groggy from her sleep. "Stay with me?"

I knew what she was asking, she needed someone close. She needed someone to hold onto. My selfish side rejoiced that I was the one she would ask. Not that there were many choices.

I crawled into the bed beside her and cradled her in my arms. I wasn't surprised to see her hands claw at my shirt and ball the material in her tiny fist. She needed something to hold, something that would tell her someone was close.

I stayed awake long after her breathing had changed into a rhythmic pattern of sleep. My brain wouldn't shut down long enough to let unconsciousness cloud my mind. There was too much to think about. Bella had opened up to us in her desperation to escape the pain, and I knew that it was hard for her. It was something I was sure she never intended to divulge.

~o~O~o~

When I woke up the next morning, Bella was still clinging to me. I don't know what I'd been expecting, but I knew I'd hoped she would be feeling better. That, perhaps, she would be able to process her grief a little.

I slipped out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, she stirred a little but there wasn't anything to indicate she was awake. While I waited for her to wake up, I showered and made us both some breakfast. We hadn't eaten other than the pop tarts and toast and she'd fallen asleep at around six, so I knew she must be hungry.

I called Alice while I was in the kitchen. She was the only one who knew about this situation, she would be the only person I would speak to about this.

"Hey Jazzy, everything okay?" she asked down the line. I was relieved that she picked up.

"She's still sleeping, Ali. I don't know what to do."

The line was silent and it was obvious she was moving from earshot.

"You want me to come over?"

"No, you don't have to. I just don't know what to do."

"Just be her friend. Talk to her. If she wants to sleep, let her sleep. I'll come over later and help her shower, see if I can't find some more clean clothes for her. She's been through a lot Jazz, I think time is the only thing she needs."

"When did you grow up?"

"Fuck off, Jasper," she laughed. "Listen, I may not know what it's like to lose someone, but I know that it's a process. When Rosalie lost her cousin in that car wreck, she was devastated, we talked about it a lot. Bella, needs time to work through it. She'll talk when she's ready."

"Thanks, Ali."

"Now go do, whatever it is you do," she laughed. "and we still need to have that talk!"

"Alice!"

"Jasper," she whined into the phone. "You promised."

"I mentioned it. It was never a promise."

"Whatever. See you later?"

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and shoved it back in my pocket before picking up the Eggo's and syrup I'd just finished making. I picked up the prescription on my way up hoping she would maybe take want to take care of the pain in her body.

She was in exactly the same position as I left her when I returned. Her small body balled up around the pillow I had been sleeping on, her hair falling over her shoulders where the hair tie she'd used had fallen out. She was beautiful.

"Bella," I whispered as I stepped closer to the bed, I pushed the tray onto the nightstand so I could rouse her from the deep sleep she seemed to be in.

Her hand moved slowly, rubbing her nose as stray strands of her hair tickled it in the small wave of air I had stirred with my movements. A small sigh fell from her lips as she fell back into her slumber. I had never seen someone be so unintentionally attractive in my life.

"Bella, you hungry?"

Her eyes flickered once before focusing on me. I smiled. It was the only thing I knew to do. I knew what I wanted to do, I just wasn't sure if it was the right thing.

"Hey," her voice cracked.

"Hey, I brought you some Eggo's., You hungry?"

She nodded at me, but I could see the previous days woes flood her mind as she gained more consciousness. Her eyes, darkened as they brimmed with tears. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and just hold her. Yet, my fear of rejection became the most prevalent emotion in my body. It was ridiculous.

"You okay?" I asked, leaning forward to pull the tray from the night stand.

"I can't believe she's gone," she whispered, her head bowing so her eyes were on the hands she had twisting in her lap.

I wanted to tell her to not hide her tears from me. I wanted to tell her that I was here for her. I wanted to wipe every trace of misery from her soulful eyes, yet, I couldn't. My heart and my body reached for her as my mind fought the process. I had to give her time.

"Bella, I know it's got to be hard. I know you're hurting, but I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, Jasper. I just . . . well, I . . . I can't," she said, sounding defeated.

I understood. There were things I'd had to deal with my entire life that I never liked to talk about. My father was one of them. He was also one of the things my Mom like to make into a better situation. I was glad that he wasn't drinking anymore, and I was impressed that he was finally making her happy. No one knew of his jaded past, not even Alice. It was a faux pas in this society, and even though I trusted her implicitly, it wasn't something I chose to broadcast.

I could see Bella's situation was entirely different, but I could understand her hesitance to talk about it.

"You don't have to talk," I smiled as warmly as I could. "But if you should feel the need. I'm here."

Her big brown eyes welled with unshed tears as she appraised me again. I had noticed the looks she gave me when I would say something like that. There was a confusion mixed with something that resembled awe, and I couldn't place what would cause a reaction like that.

"You want to eat?" I asked, motioning to the food still sitting in my lap. My adolescent awkwardness ever present.

Without another word, she nodded. I pushed the tray between us and gave her a smile. I pulled the prescription bottle from where I'd left it on the nightstand and opened it. After reading the instructions I pulled one out and placed it on her side of the tray. I knew her whole body must be aching, even if she wasn't complaining about it.

"It'll make you groggy, but it'll help with the pain."

She nodded and picked it up, throwing it in the back of her throat before drinking some of the milk I filled one of the glasses with.

We ate in relative silence, yet, it wasn't uncomfortable. Our eyes would occasionally meet and a small smile would be shared between us. I wanted to get to know Bella, I wanted to know everything about her. I knew the little things, like she preferred toast to pop tarts, milk to orange juice. She was articulate and highly observant. She giggled when she was nervous and saw the best in people, even after everything she'd been through.

I pulled the tray from the bed when her eyelids began fluttering and she fought to keep her eyes open.

"Sleep, Bella," I laughed.

"Will you keep me company for a little bit? I really don't want to be alone," she asked, her breathing already becoming level.

I nodded my ascent and slid up the bed until I was next to her. For a fleeting second, nerves chewed away at my stomach as her increasingly familiar scent filled my mind. She smelled like the rain after the storm, mixed with a flower I couldn't place. She smelled like summer, and it was intoxicating.

My heart slammed in my chest as she let her head come to rest on my shoulder. Her fingers interlaced with mine creating some strange reaction from my body. It was an intense heat, and it felt right. Too right.

"Thanks, Jasper."

Had I said that aloud?

"What for?"

"Being so kind," she mumbled, sleep becoming a heavy blanket. "I like you a lot, maybe too much."

My heart stopped in my chest at her words, a small tinge of guilt ebbed through me but was overshadowed by a huge surge of, what I could only describe as, excitement, elation . . . hope. I hadn't let myself think about Bella in that capacity, I shouldn't now, but there was no stopping it.

I knew I would over analyze the words and the situation, she'd pretty much been unconscious when she'd said it. I wouldn't ever bring this up around her, and I knew without a doubt I wouldn't tell Alice. She already questioned the situation, she already saw through my transparent attempts to hide exactly what I was feeling.

I sat next to her for a while, just enjoying the company, the presence of someone in the house. My mind had gone through the process of rewind and repeating Bella's words over and over again and I knew I would have to get up before I drove myself insane. I shifted her down the bed until she was laying with her head on the pillow.

She looked beautiful and completely at peace as she slept. Her full lips pushed out and separated as she drug in breaths, her eyelashes resting peacefully on her cheek, and her long hair in a gentle cascade over her shoulders.

I had to get the hell out of here. I couldn't sit around and watch her sleep. It had never been my intention to develop feelings for her. I had helped her because I remembered being that lost, that helpless. I couldn't stand to see someone so innocent looking having to go through the same thing.

Talking to her had been my downfall. Her sweet disposition and friendly nature had sucked me right in. I was sure even Alan had seen it. I had watched her as she'd run from me, around the corner right into another alley. I tried to ignore her, and whatever it was she was doing, but the other person moving down that small alley had caught my eye. It made me uncomfortable.

I tried to shake the feeling but it wouldn't budge. It sat there like the elephant in the room nagging at me. Anxiety and fear pulsed around me for no reason at all and I knew, don't ask me how, but I knew she was in trouble.

I shook my head trying to dislodge the dark memory.

I slipped out of the room and headed down to my mother's hide away. Her little den where she hid away from the world with a hot tea and a good book. I sat in her overstuffed chair and leaned my head on the back. This is where I came to think, to process.

The image of that night flooded my head again.

She was so small and frail. The asshole was huge, and was sweating profusely in the below zero temperatures. He had his chubby hand wrapped tightly around her neck while her feet dangled inches from the ground.

He was killing her.

I could see the terror in her face, her pale skin losing even more of it's pallid color as her air supply dwindled. Her inviting pink lips tinged blue in the dim light.

I called out, hoping to distract the fucker from squeezing her long neck even tighter and speeding up the process. He'd thought he'd had the advantage, he dropped her like a rag doll and headed towards me, he underestimated me by a long shot. I may have been smaller, but I was quick. For once, I was glad of the boxing classes my dad had insisted I took while growing up. The one expense he'd green lighted in his drunken state. He regretted it eventually, he hated when I took that shit onto the streets.

Then though, then and there it was when it was being used for some good. That fat fuck was going down, scum like him preyed on helpless women because it empowered them, made them feel stronger. Let him feel strong after I beat the living shit out of him.

"Jasper?"

I jumped at Alice's voice as it filled the foyer of the house. She normally called before she came over. The room was cast in the dulling light of the fading day. How long had I been sat here?

"In here, Ali."

"What are you doing sitting in the dark?" she asked, breezing in through the cracked door.

"Thinking."

"You can't think with the lights on?"

I rolls my eyes and leaned across to the small lamp on the table and flicked the switch so the room was illuminated. I hadn't even realized the time.

"Happy?"

"You look like shit, turn it off," she laughed, falling onto the Ottoman by my feet.

"Did you come over to torture me? Or was there a purpose to the visit?"

"I brought Bella more clothes. I told Lynn Hale I was doing some charity work and needed to raid Rosalie's closet so I could donate clothes. She was more than happy to help."

"Thanks, Alice, I'm sure Bella will appreciate that."

"What is wrong with you?" Alice's small body turned in my direction, her damn persistent gaze boring into me as she waited for an answer.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just . . . Well . . . Fuck it! I was thinking about why I feel so connected to her. Why her? Why did I feel the overwhelming need to have her in my life? I can't not think about her."

Alice giggled once before picking up my hands and leaning forward. I could see a wisdom long beyond her years staring at me from behind her eyes.

"Jasper, the heart wants what it wants. Do you have any idea what I went through? I tried to fight it, I tried to ignore what I felt for him, but I couldn't. I believe he's it for me. I love him with everything I am. Jake will always be that for me, even if my dad doesn't 'allow' it."

"Are you saying . . ."

"I'm not saying anything of the sort. Just stop over thinking things. Let it happen on it's own. She's been through so much, don't add to the pressure."

I nodded, knowing she was right. I had to just be here friend. She'd been through another traumatic event and I was beginning to wonder if she would be the same person she had been at the beginning of all of this.

A/N: I know, some of you may hate the fact that Alice is with Jacob, but I think they would make an adorable couple. Maybe eventually, if I ever find the time! I will write an outtake about how Alice and Jacob met, and why Alice defied her parents wishes when they forbid her from seeing him.

I hope I did Jasper some justice and I also hope that this chapter answered some of your questions about why he did what he did, and where exactly he was coming from.

Thanks, as always, to mt twitriplets, miztrezboo and bemylullaby, for holding my hand when I'm being a pp, and for encouraging me from the start. You gals are amazing, so thank you - for everything.

Thank you all so much for the alerts and faves, and thank you so much to the reviewers. You are all so wonderfully kind and each and every one of you inspire me with what you have to say. I hope you all enjoy the sneak peeks in the replies. You guys rock!

Much love and huge hugs ~weezy~