Dipper knew exactly what had gone down last night when he woke up without clothes and next to his fiancé. He shuddered, not even remembering a word of it, but he had a feeling that something was up with this. He and Bill had only been engaged for three weeks and this had already happened, making Dipper feel incredibly overwhelmed. Whatever it was, he could ask Bill what was up or figure it out on his own.

Dipper quickly got dressed and stumbled down the stairs, pulling his hat on his head. Maybe Mabel knew something - she and Bill were besties, and Dipper knew Bill told Mabel things he didn't hear all the time. It didn't phase him, but Mabel was and is a reliable source. Mabel sat on the couch the living room, knitting furiously, needles making a ruckus. "Hey, Mabes, why're you knitting so early?"

"Dip Dop, it's twelve thirty in the afternoon - this is not early. Maybe for your standards, but I sleep at a responsible time," Mabel explained, not even glancing at her brother as she worked.

"Can I ask you something?" Dipper awkwardly glanced at his sister, who finally looked up from her knitting.

"Yeah, what's up Bro-Bro?" she asked, meeting his stare intensely.

"Why has Bill been acting so secretive lately? I mean, yeah, he's Bill, but I feel like you know more than I do at this point. If you two are starting to plan the wedding without me, I understand. But if it is something I need to know about... that's a completely different story."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "You worry too much, Dipper. I'll tell you this - he has a surprise for you, but you won't get it for about a week or so. Happy?"

Dipper shrugged, blushing from embarrassment. "Thanks, Mabel. But now I'm curious again... great."

"Don't overthink it. Yeah, it'll be a surprise for everyone, a great addition to the mood here, really, and believe it or not, Bill really wants it too."

Dipper furrowed his eyebrows. "Why are you enunciating those words that way?"

"It'll help you solve the mystery," Mabel said with a wink, and she went back to knitting, her soft facial features focused and not listening to anything but the pop songs playing in her head.

Dipper knew that he wouldn't get anything else out if Mabel, so he went back up the stairs to go sit on the roof, but there was no escape from others as he ran straight into Bill. "Oh, heya, Pine Tree," he greeted calmly for once, his normally menacing grin replaced with a sweet smile and his overly eccentric suit replaced with a simple dress shirt, bowtie, slacks, and dress shoes.

"What's with the normal getup?" Dipper asked, eyeing Bill. It wasn't that it wasn't cute, he was hot in Dipper's opinion, but it was so not normal of Bill.

"We're going shopping for some things, and I don't need some stupid unimportant humans looking at me strangely," Bill ranted, his normal expressions and voice showing through.

"Well, I'm ready to go if you are," Dipper agreed, shrugging.

Bill tilted his head, looking at Dipper's outfit contently. "Let me help you with that," he said, snapping his fingers and changing Dipper's casual T-shirt and jeans into a lighter shirt and shorts. "It's hot out, so I just wanted to help ya," Bill spurted with a smile as they went down the creaky stairs, fingers interlocking.

"We're going out the store, Mabes. Tell Stan, okay?" Dipper shouted to his twin, who hummed in response. After grabbing the keys, the couple headed towards the car, getting ready for whatever Bill planned to purchase at the store.

-IreallydunnowhattoputherE-

Bill stopped the cart suddenly, his eye catching something. To the baby clothes aisle he went while Dipper took forever to get Mabel's plastic dinosaurs for her energy drink. He cooed at the frilly little outfits, and he just couldn't wait for one day when...

"Bill, what are you doing?" Dipper asked, crossing his arms. He knew Bill hated the idea of children, so this made no sense.

"Just curious," Bill answered, pretending to examine the clothing in his hand. "What kind of thing could fit in this?"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "A baby. It's meant for a baby, Bill. Why do you care about it? You've said a million times before you don't want kids," he explained icily, because deep down he'd always wanted children, and Mabel had always wanted to be an aunt, so it would've suited well.

"I just wanted to know what it was for," Bill shot back, "you don't need to lecture me about it." He walked back to the cart, and awkward silence falling over them.

Dipper kept as calm as possible, but how could he when there was a pregnancy test in the cart? "Why is this here?" he asked, gesturing towards it.

Bill shrugged. "Maybe someone got our cart mixed up with theirs," he lied, hoping Dipper couldn't tell that Bill had put it there.

"Just put somewhere else, it's not ours. I'm a guy, you're a guy, and Mabel hasn't been seeing any guys lately, so we have no use of it."

Bill placed on a shelf nearby, holding in a sigh. He'd tell Dipper what he wanted, but he couldn't. He would seem to vulnerable then. Soon Dipper would understand, though. He just had to wait.

-ThisissortofgoodsofaR-

Mabel glanced at the door as Bill and Dipper walked in with bags of groceries, both silent and both grumpy. After putting the bags in the kitchen, Dipper went up to his room and Bill sat next to Mabel, no words exchanged with one another. "What's going on with you two? One moment you're all giggly and holding hands and now you're in an argument?"

"He's mad at me, Shooting Star. He still thinks I don't want offspring. I guess I haven't been hinting enough, huh?"

Mabel crossed her arms. "This is out of character for you, Bill. Just wait a week. He'll understand then," Mabel said, patting Bill's shoulder. "And anyway, if don't hint that maybe you were thinking about kids, maybe he'd understand and not be mad."

"Thanks. I'll go tell him, then. After all, I certainly didn't mean to cut down a Pine Tree," Bill joked as he went up the stairs to talk to his fiancé. Standing in front of Dipper's bedroom door, he decided it'd be better to just ask to come in. "Pine Tree? Can I come in?"

"Why should I let you in?"

"I love you. I care, although it's not obvious all the time. I need to tell ya something. Let me in," Bill pleaded, hoping for approval.

"Fine. Door's unlocked."

Bill strode in, shutting the door behind him. He sat next to Dipper in his bed, smiling. "So I've been thinking..."

"We're all in trouble now," Dipper commented, rolling his eyes.

"I've been thinking about the offspring thing," Bill explained, ignoring Dipper's sarcastic tone. "Maybe I do want them." Bill smiled as Dipper's eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Sure, can't be too bad, can it?" Bill said with a shrug.

Dipper tackled Bill, kissing him sweetly. "Are we gonna adopt or have someone carry baby for us?"

Bill grinned, making Dipper nervous. "We don't need to worry about that."

Dipper sucked in a breath. "What are you talking about?"

Bill glanced Dipper over, keeping the grin perfectly. "Think about it, kid."

Dipper thought for a moment. Why wouldn't they need other people in the equation. Unless... last night... shit. "You did not!"

"Did too," Bill said, dulling it down to a smile. "I'm gonna be a daddy and so are you. Except, you're more the the mommy, I suppose, since you're carrying it."

Dipper ignored everything that told him he should be angry - he was tired of being angry. "I love you," he said, smiling back.

"You too, dear, you too."

-OhcrapstanisnotgonnalikethiS-

Stan did his best not to kill the demon in front of him. "You're telling me that you managed to get my nephew pregnant?!"

Dipper kept a tight grip on Bill's arm. "We were going to get married anyway, so we're going to do that before the baby's even born."

"I just don't like that you chose him. I'd be fine with a guy, yes, but it doesn't mean I'm fine with a demon. Cipher, of all demons. Did you even agree to this?"

Bill smiled like this conversation was nothing. "I wouldn't have done it if he didn't want children, Fez. I actually care, y'know. As for the demon part... listen here and listen closely, Stanford. I didn't make this pathetic form for nothing. Before Pine Tree, I didn't want offspring. But looky here now," Bill ranted, gesturing toward Dipper's stomach. "You care about the kid, yes, but do you care enough to let him learn on his own?"

Stan laughed. "Like you'd know how to look after someone."

"Been reading parenting books, and lots of 'em. Don't question my knowledge of this when you hadn't messed with kids until twelve years after he and Shooting Star were born," Bill justified, "while I've been dealing with kids ever since they spawned in the universe."

Stan sighed. "Just... don't expect me to take care of the kid for you two, you got it? I don't have time for that."

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan," Dipper cheered, hugging the elder.

"You'll be a good dad, I know that, but I don't know about him. But I guess I can let it happen if you're in the equation and if you really want this," Stan said, hugging his nephew. Thus would be quite the story to explain to his parents.

-IcantwriteanymoreugH-

Wellsies, DJ Everything asked for what would happen if Dip Dop got pregnant, so I wrote this. It can be sort of a sequel to "Eighteen", but I wrote it sort of out of context enough for it not to be. Review or ask for anything you'd like me to write!

-Jackie