Thank you so much for giving this story a chance, I'm so glad you like it! And don't worry, the happy ending is already written and you're gonna love it, but first buckle up for the bumpy ride...
Emma sits next to Henry's bed and watches him sleep, trying to come up with some kind of plan. She knows that in order to convince Killian that life is worth living, she needs to get him out of the house and show it to him. Trouble is, she doesn't know how to do that.
Her sleep is restless that night; she's tossing and turning and feeling like the most inadequate person in the world to help him find the will to live, but she finally finds some peace around four a.m., falling into a deep dreamless sleep. Her alarm clock goes off way too soon and she pushes it off the bedside table, and in that first moment of wakefulness she doesn't remember yesterday, she doesn't know that she's got five months to make one of the truest hearts keep beating.
And then it hits her so hard she has to sit up because she can't seem to draw a breath.
Help arrives in the most unexpected way as she takes Henry to Ruby; he asks her when are they going to go see the ships again, and she realizes it's the perfect excuse to get Killian out of the house. After all he's a navy captain, so who better to show Henry around the harbor than him?
Before she speaks to Killian about it, she feels that she needs to fill in his mother first, tell her that she knows everything, so after breakfast she puts on some ridiculous action movie Killian wants to watch and sneaks upstairs.
Mrs. Jones looks surprised when she tells her that they need to talk but shows her into the library nonetheless, and Emma sits down on the sofa, hunting for the right words.
"I overheard you on the phone yesterday", she finally blurts out, biting her lip and giving Mrs. Jones an apologetic smile.
"Excuse me?"
"Killian sent me upstairs to ask you if I could borrow some of your clothes because I was caught in the rain coming here and… I heard you and your husband on the phone", Emma clarifies, bracing herself for whatever comes next.
Mrs. Jones presses her hand to her mouth, lowers her head and just falls apart, her thin shoulders shaking under the weight of what she's facing, and Emma feels awkward just sitting there so she puts her arms around her gingerly, ready to back off if need be. To her surprise, Mrs. Jones returns the hug and holds on, and Emma feels so scared because if the classiest woman she knows can lose it like this, then she must think that it's over and that her son is dying soon.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was afraid you wouldn't take the job, and I didn't know what else to do", Mrs. Jones says, her tears soaking Emma's shirt, and Emma blinks away her own tears, trying to keep her cool.
And then she thinks about Henry, thinks about being in the same situation as Mrs. Jones is and her heart starts hammering painfully because it's every mother's worse nightmare and she doesn't know how Mrs. Jones usually manages to hide her pain so well.
"Why did you agree to it?" Emma asks her gently, because she doesn't understand, not really. She doesn't know how Mrs. Jones could have helped Killian contact the people who will help him end his life.
"Because he threatened he'd stop eating and drinking if I didn't let him die with some dignity. You probably think that I'm a horrible mother, and I don't blame you, but I simply didn't know what else to do", Mrs. Jones says, pulling away from Emma's embrace and looking at her with eyes so similar to Killian's that Emma has to look away.
"And how… how does it work?" Emma asks, her voice breaking because she doesn't want to know, doesn't want to even think about it, but she feels that she must.
Mrs. Jones blows her nose and turns her handkerchief in her hands a couple of times before she finds the strength to speak.
"On July 19th, a certain doctor will come and administer a lethal dose of his usual medicine. If everything goes according to plan, Killian will fall asleep and never wake up again", Mrs. Jones says softly, and she looks so small and frail, so different than her usual regal self that Emma can't help reaching out her hand and gripping hers tightly.
"That's not going to happen", Emma says firmly, looking up until she's certain she's not going to cry and taking a deep breath before she goes on. "We've got five months and we're going to show him that life is still worth living."
"How?" Mrs. Jones asks, and there's a glimmer of hope in her eyes and she looks so relieved that Emma wants to help and she's not alone anymore.
"By getting Killian out of the house and making him live his life. We're going to find out what he can still do and he's going to do it; I'll find excuses, tell him it's for me or for Henry or whatever the Hell he needs to hear, but by the end of it he's going to change his mind."
Mrs. Jones is nodding in time with Emma's words and a there's a tentative smile stretching her lips when she speaks.
"I'm going to help you in any way I can, and money isn't an issue; whatever you need, you just ask me for it. And don't tell Killian you know."
"Why not?"
"Because if you do, he's going to ask you to promise not to try changing his mind", Mrs. Jones answers, and Emma realizes that it's the reason she's not doing anything; she had promised her son she wouldn't, and in return he's giving her six months to make peace with his passing.
Emma lets go of Mrs. Jones' hand and stands up to leave, hoping she's not giving her false hope when she tells her that everything is going to be okay.
"Where did you disappear off to?" Killian asks when she marches back into the living room and Emma rolls her eyes at him, her cover already well thought through.
"Contrary to what you think, I do stuff around here", she says and glances at the TV. "How's your movie?"
"Rubbish. I was waiting for you to return so you can turn it off."
"What, death count is too small?" Emma teases, taking the DVD out and putting it back into its box.
"And the fight scenes are horrible", he says and Emma smiles to herself as she walks over to him, cornering him against the desk.
"I need a favor and you can't say no", she tells him, hoping that if she makes it seem like it's already a done deal he'll go with it.
"Oh really?" He asks and arches his eyebrow at her; he looks so charming, and if she didn't know better, looking at him like this she would never be able to guess that he'd already given up, that he's living what he thinks is one of the last months of his life. It makes her sad and panicky, but she'll be damned if she lets him see it on her face.
"Yes, really. You promised we'd go out beyond the garden, and we never did", she says, and he widens his eyes comically, like he can't believe that she just said that to him.
"I was sick that day!"
"And now you're not sick, so next week you're going to come to the harbor with me and Henry and explain to him about the ships", she says, trying to sound nonchalant and praying that for once he doesn't see right through her.
"I'll do it if you try to find your parents", he says without any hesitation, his eyes telling her that he doesn't think she'll do it because he knows how much that wound hurts her.
"Deal", Emma says, barely resisting the urge to stick out her tongue at him. If he thinks she's going to back off for any reason he can come up with, he's in for a big disappointment.
Somewhere along the way keeping him alive has become the most important thing in her life.
"I'll contact my orphanage after we get back from taking a walk round the block", she tells him and moves out of the way so he can pivot the chair toward the door. "After you."
He shoots her a long suffering look but he moves past her and Emma releases the breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding, but it's all the celebration she allows herself because she knows this is just the first battle won, and the war is far from over.
Emma catches up to Killian right outside the house and puts a baseball cap on his head, smiling when he gives her a quizzical look from under its brim.
"The sun is the worst at this hour", she tells him and puts her own cap on, knowing that he'd probably get huffy if she only made him wear it.
"I admire your organization skills", he says sarcastically as they start for the garden door that leads out on the street.
"One of the perks of working for such a demanding employer", she tells him good-naturedly, giving him a wink and opening the door for him. The street is deserted and the sidewalk is perfectly even, and after a while he seems to relax, laughing when she almost trips over her own feet because she's too busy admiring one of the mansions farther up the street.
"Watch your step, Swan", he tells her and she thinks that she'd never stop tripping if it always made him laugh like this because she can't think of another sound she'd rather listen to.
"These houses look more like fairytale castles than anything else", she says, wishing she could've grown up somewhere like this instead of that gloomy orphanage.
"They are all the same. You should see what we have back home; really marvelous architecture."
"And where in England is home, exactly?" She asks, jumping at the opportunity to learn more about him.
"Surrey. It's really beautiful there in the summer", he says wistfully, and she can't help wonder if he's thinking that he's never going to see his home again.
"Do you have like a huge mansion with hired help and horses and a butler?" She asks, trying to stop his good mood from slipping. He smiles at her eager expression and nods.
"I suppose you can say we do. It's not as big as some of our neighbors', but we do have hired help and horses and a butler. After the accident, when mum came here, good old Croft offered to come with her. Naturally, she had to leave him behind, because who would take care of my father if Croft was gone", he says, his eyes darkening as they always do when he talks about Mr. Jones.
"Seems like you got along better with your butler than you did with your father", Emma says, and he shrugs, staring down at his feet for a while before speaking again.
"Croft is everything my father isn't; he's kind and patient, he really listens when you talk, but if you do something wrong he makes you clean up your own mess. His wife can't have kids, so I guess I was the son he always wished for."
They reach the end of the street and Emma realizes that Killian is probably going to do for Henry what his butler did for him; take care of him the way his father should have but didn't. Inevitably, she thinks about the possibility of her failing, and what would it do to Henry if Killian was gone, because after those few days she had to bring him to work with her he couldn't shut up about Killy. It's not too late to call everything off because she supposes it's only going to get worse next week after they spend a day together looking at ships, but she can't bring herself to do it. She needs all the help she can get, and right now Henry is her best bet at turning this thing around.
It's a matter of life and death, and she may be a bad mother, but she'd rather break her son's heart than keeping him out of this and then living with regret for the rest of her life, wondering what could've been if she had played the card of fatherly love.
"Swan? Where are you?" Killian asks her, tilting his head to look up at her, and she smiles, telling herself that she will not fail, that nobody's heart is going to get broken.
"I'm right here", she says, thinking that it's true in more ways than one, in more ways than she can explain or let him know about.
She's right there next to him, and she's going to stay, hoping that she's going to be enough to make him want to stay too.
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