A/N: TG: I have returned from the dark, dismal battlefield that is known as… College application season.
Kisame, Itachi: A bit over-dramatic much?
TG: Not when my future as a game-designer is at stake!!
Itachi- Just get to writing before one of my kunai makes good friends with your throat.
Disclaimer- Don't own nothing, zip, nada except for my ideas.
Oh wait, Last chapter I forgot some notes:
Tokio Hotel is a somewhat new band that I just got into. They're awesome! I just can't figure out which country they're from…
I got the talking to a piece of furniture thing from the movie Nanny McPhee, which had been coming on various channels nonstop at the time.
Famous Last Words, one of My Chemical Romance's best songs.
Although I didn't note it, the song that Kisame sings to Itachi is part of Kanye West's Homecoming and for me, the second time that I heard this song it almost put me to sleep. Not that it's a bad song!!!
Anywho, enjoy the chapter.
The sun rose in the dense forest that surrounded the Uchiha household. Some of the rays, as they make their way through the foliage, catch on a spiky mop of blonde hair. As the temperature rose, Naruto shifted to his side on the ground beneath the tree that he had fallen asleep on. A twig snapped. Naruto jumped up from his spot and started growling as he tried to figure out where the noise came from. All of a sudden, our favorite mad scientist made his way through the trees. Naruto whimpered as he accidentally cornered himself against the tree. Yondaime called over before the young blonde could run,
"No, no, no. Don't run." Naruto, for once, did what the scientist told him. The older alien asked, "What are you doing out here, anyway?" Naruto shifted nervously for a second and then responded,
"I'm waiting…" Yondaime asked, confusedly,
"For who?" Naruto then stated,
"F-for m-my… family." Yondaime nodded,
"Oh…" Then grimaced, "You don't have one." Naruto's eyes widened in fear, as he stuttered,
"B-but..?!" Yondaime then called over,
"Listen to me… I don't know what that human brat and his little group have been pumping your brain full of…" Naruto's eyes were threatening with tears again as Yondaime kept talking. " but if anything, I am your family and…" As soon as Naruto heard that, he screamed,
"NO!!!", and ran off, leaving Yondaime fuming,
"NO, NO, NO!!! Don't run..!! Agh!!!!", before he ran after the alien-experiment. Later on…
"Yondaime… Please.. wait up…?" A certain exhausted, dolphin-like alien whined to his far-gone companion.
Itachi was in the kitchen, absent-mindedly making himself a cup of coffee, when Sasuke walked into the room. Yami chattered as he ran to his master's feet and let the overly-saddened boy pet him. When he was done, Sasuke looked over to Itachi and after a while of intense staring stated, "Naruto left last night." Itachi stiffened for a moment and then, without turning away from his coffee-mug, revealed,
"Yeah… So did Kisame." After that the brothers sat in silence; one drinking coffee, one staring off into space. Suddenly…
BAM!BAM!BAM!
Itachi said, "What the hell?", as he went to the door. Reaching for the knob, his main thought was, "I didn't think that she would come so early…" However, when the brunette opened the door…
"Good… Morning!!!" Kisame beamed, although from his disheveled appearance, you could tell that he had run over to the house without so much as a second thought. Itachi, on the other hand, snapped,
"What.. the hell… do you mean GOOD MORNING?!!! AFTER ALL THAT I'M GOING THROUGH, YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO COME OVER HERE WITH A SIMPLE GOOD MOR…!!" He would have vented more but the shark-like teen had covered Itachi's lips with his own. Sasuke groaned as he covered his eyes in fear of what the images of his brother and his boyfriend making out would do to him. After a few minutes, Kisame pulled away. The two looked at each other before the elder said,
"I think I may have found you a job." Itachi blinked,
"What?" Kisame said replied,
"A job! I think I found you a new job, Itachi!" Itachi's eyes widened as he asked,
"Oh my God, are you serious?!" The older nodded his head and exclaimed,
"Yeah! But the manager wants to meet you right now!" Itachi replied,
"Right now?!"
"Right now!"
"Right now?!"
"Just go, damnit!!" Sasuke screamed, stopping the idiotic conversation. Itachi shook his head to calm himself down and then said,
"Alright, let's go!" Kisame and Itachi were almost out the door when Itachi stated, "Alright Sasuke, just… don't burn anything down and don't open the door for anyone, okay?" Sasuke replied,
"Alright, alright, I'm not an idiot." With that, Itachi was gone. Sasuke sighed as he was left alone with Yami. However, a few minutes didn't even go by when a massive of blonde and orange rushed through the door. Sauske's eyes widened as he called over, "Dobe!! Where the hell did you go?!" Naruto was breathing frantically as he looked around and then stopped to listen outside. ___________________________________________________________________________
"Yondaime… please..!" Iruka wailed as he was trying his best to stop the angry older alien from charging into the human house in front of them. Yondaime, on the other hand, was simply dragging Iruka along, his rage at his experiment/son fueling his actions until… Yondaime simply stops, pulls Iruka off, and says,
"Let's see, how do the humans say it..? Um… Oh yes, 'Would you please stop bitching at me already?!'", and runs off towards the house, laser fully loaded. Iruka was left with a confounded expression that said,
"He's been learning…" __________________________________________________________________________
After a few moments, Sasuke was trying to calm the blonde down when there was the hugest BAM BAM BAM!!! On the door before it cracked open to reveal a very angry blonde man with apparently reddish skin (remember Yondaime's alien skin condition), who looked a lot like… "Naruto… who's your friend?" Sasuke asked nervously as he was backing him and the scared blonde away from the intruder. The man spoke,
"Who I am is not being the important thing, what is however, is that you have something that belongs to me!!!" With that, Yondaime shot the laser at Sasuke. Naruto pushed the raven out of the way, getting hit by the laser.
"NARUTO!" Sasuke screamed. Just then the blonde jumped up, laser-ball in his hands, and threw it back at Yondaime, who ducked just in time, causing a huge scorch-mark in the wall. Sasuke looked on, thinking, "Oh… Itachi is going to have my head for this…" Meanwhile, Yondaime was currently trying to get Naruto into yet another pair of handcuffs, the younger blonde simply breaking them as soon as they were on.
"Damn it all! Quit being stubborn!!" Yondaime growled at his son/experiment.
"Hey!" He heard from his side. The elder blonde turned just in time to be hit across the room with a broom by Sasuke. "That's his nature." When Naruto ran over to Sasuke, the raven stated, "You keep this bastard busy while I go call for help." Naruto nodded with a smile as he ran over to Yondaime. Yondaime was rubbing his head but when he saw the young blonde coming over, he went a bit trigger happy. Outside the various laser bullets could be seen shooting out of the house. Iruka saw them and screamed, "Yondaime! NO!!!", before running to the house. Naruto was now on the ceiling, with bullet holes all around him from where Yondaime missed shots, he then called out,
"Your mama's a sissy!" Yondaime fumed,
"Agh! You leave your grandmother out of this!!" With a good shot, Yondaime hit Naruto out of the house. Sasuke had finally gotten to the phone and the only number that came to mind was…
"Hello, this is Tsunade Godaime speaking (A/N: Does Tsunade even have a real last name?)"
"Hi, um, Tsunade..?"
"Sasuke? What is it? Are you alright?" Sasuke replied,
"Um, yeah I'm fine except for the fact that ALIENS ARE ATTACKING MY HOUSE!!!" Iruka got into the house just as Sasuke said this and, in a flurry of fear, pushed Sasuke away from the phone, picked it up and stated,
"Oh, there are no aliens here, everything's just normal, normal, normal!" Sasuke pushed the blue alien away from the phone just in time to hear Tsunade ask,
"Sasuke, who the hell was that?! And what about aliens..?!" Just as she said this, Naruto came back in, carrying a neighbor's Beetle.
"Blue punch-buggy!!" Naruto cheered as he swung the car at Yondaime knocking him through the wall to another room. Then the young blonde said, "No punch back." Sasuke was fighting with Iruka over the phone as Yondaime limped back, trying to reason with the young boy.
"Come on now! We'll just go back to the lab and I can reprogram you! You know, make you less cute and ukeish." Naruto walked around Yondaime and said,
"But I like being ukeish!" And ran outside to get something else. Sasuke finally pushed Iruka off of him, and was about to talk to Tsunade some more but then stated,
"Oh! Hey Naruto, you found the chain-saw!!", and hung up.
"Hello, Sasuke? Oh, Damn it! Tsunade did a complete u-turn in her car, and went to go save that damn, angsty teenager. Naruto was chasing Yonadaime around the already ruined living room with the chain-saw, but Yondaime turned around and was able to shoot the weapon out of the blonde's hands. Yondaime was about to shoot again but Naruto saw a nearby carrot and lodged it into the opening of the gun. The gun started to sizzle and beep as an automatic voice said, "Plasma-overload. System shutdown in 10..9.." Yondaime screamed as he gave the gun to Naruto, who handed it back to Yondaime with a,
"Happy Birthday!" Yondaime shoved the gun back saying,
"It's not my birthday!" Naruto replied,
"Happy Hannakah!" Iruka stood up rubbing his head, looking around and then seeing the two blonde aliens arguing and the smoking gun.
"Aah!" He yelped as he looked around, grabbed Sasuke and made for the door. The raven screamed,
"Hey, what about Naruto?!!" Iruka yelled back,
"Trust me, this will not end well!" When those two were out of the door, Naruto and Yondaime were pushing the gun back and forth while rhyming, Naruto first,
"Ichibi, "
"Nibi, "
"Sanbi, "
"Yonbi, "
"Gobi, "
"Rokubi, "
"Shichibi, "
"Hachibi, "
"Kyuubi, " Naruto smirked.
"Juubi! Ha, I win!" (1) Yondaime cheered as he had the gun in the end. He then looked at what was in his hands and his smile quickly sank, "Uh oh." There was a huge explosion that literally blew the roof off of the Uchiha's house. Sasuke was thrown from where he was, and when he looked back his eyes widened in the craziness of it all: The house was gone. ___________________________________________________________________________
Itachi came out of the surf rental shop beaming. He had gotten the job! And if he could show this to Tsunade, everything would be fine. "Thank you, God!!" Itachi called out, not to loud or else his new employers might have thought he was crazy. Then he thought, "Thanks Kisame, I'll really have to 'pay you back' later…", with a smirk, the shark-like teen had gone home, needing to get ready for work, so Itachi would just have to tell Sasuke the good news himself. Suddenly, a fire engine rushed by, sirens blaring. Itachi covered his ears as he watched the truck go by. It was almost at the intersection of the road to the Uchiha's house: right leading to the house, left leading to town. Itachi silently whispered, "Please, go left." The red engine turned right. "Oh my God…" Itachi would have collapsed if the fear of what might have happened to Sasuke didn't drive him on to the house. _____________________________________________________________________
TG- Oh...M..G! That was long
Only one definition too!:
It's a little nursery rhyme that I thought up using the name s of the 10 bijuu from Naruto.
Kisame- There are ten?
TG- Yes, there are ten! I don't know what Kishimoto's deal is. Well, there's chapter ten, I sure as hell hope that you guys enjoyed it because it took me forever. Please read and review!