Chapter X

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A bending wolfqueen

Next week, they were gone.

Thanks be to God, they were gone; and although Odette missed their conversations, there was little time for her to be idling now. Hugo and Apoline had returned on the second week of January, both of them suffering a terrible cold they caught somewhere near the border with Prussia, and even when she offered to stay longer, Hugo insisted she had to go back to keep chasing her dreams.

They got up of bed to say farewell; tears and hugs as they saw her dangling wolf necklace and a new crystal case for a fresh blue rose.

-We bought the box in a village by the shore- Apoline said, -they use seawater to temper the glass, so the locals say it contains the essence of the ocean.

-Keep dreaming big, little one.

And Odette swallowed her longings and her whispers to show a smile that didn´t quite reached her eyes, which had the pale cyan of the sky and the sea smell in her imagination, for Odette had never seen the water of the waves washing over sand.

There was something off, she felt like crying, like if there was something that would change forever before she came back to her little hometown.

And there was some true in that, for she never came back.

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Just going back to "Britain´s Bride" she was greeted with bad news, well… not exactly, they were bad news for her only.

Orlenna and Philippe were just like she remembered; except they now had a passport and a ticket for a ship for the New World.

-I never knew anything about this!- she exclaimed, somewhere in battle between trying to be happy for them but also being extremely sad for their departure.

-We couldn´t tell you until we were certain love- Orlenna replied, her amber eyes shining with glittering drops she tried to hold back, -It´s been something we both wanted to do since leaving Britany, have a land and an opportunity to go up in life, you know? But we don´t want to leave you alone, so we have a deal for you…

Odette refrained the thousand reproaches that were about to leave her mouth for them not telling her sooner, so she could have had time to find a new place.

-Here, there´s enough money for one more ticket…-

The color on the young ballerina´s face left all of a sudden and Phillippe thought she´d never looked so sickly, something must´ve happened back in her little village.

-Odette- he said- are you all right? Did something happen?

She turned her eyes to him and once more he and his sister marveled at the ability of her pupils to shift their shadowy undefined color to match her mood; for they knew there were times her eyes were impossibly blue, a shade as deep and rich like a sapphirine amethyst, and yet now… there was only gray, a bluish gray.

-Well… now that you ask, yes. My very old adoptive parents came back from their honeymoon with a cold that could turn to pneumonia any minute; my two best friends who happen to be my landlors are about to leave forever and I think I´ve fallen in love with a famous ex-ballet dancer in the worst moment of my career to be in love with anything other than my art; my two friends are offering me a ticket to go with them all right but there´s nothing for me in the New World and I´ll be left here, trying to fulfill a dream that if I ever manage to make into reality, there will be no one to celebrate it with!- she howled in an explosion of cold colors, red blush on white skin and rosesmell.

And she felt her dragon purring, cornering the wolf that was so alive just some days earlier, proving her once more life was as soon up and as soon down like dead and alive were the blue roses´ petals Hugo sent her instead of his presence after her ballet functions.

Philippe and Orlenna were silent for some minutes before he finally said:

-Is it Mérante? You mentioned him in one of your letters- Odette nodded, momentarily regretting having sent them letters during her holidays.

-He seems like a fine man- Orlenna whispered, remembering the one time she saw him dancing and then at the bar, his dark hazel gaze fixed on the wolfmaid.

-He is- Odette retorted –but there´s nothing I can do right now. He´s starting his teaching and I´m trying to become a prima ballerina before spring comes- her shoulders fell, as if bearing all the bad things that happened in the world just on her own

Hot boiling tears streamed down her cheeks before she could stop them, and both Philippe and Orlena remained silent.

-I´m sorry- she said, trying to recover –Too much is happening at the same time and I´m trying to cope.

The young girl headed towards her room, but before disappearing in the shadows engulfing the staircase, she looked back and said with a face that could break anyone´s heart, so much that it certainly broke theirs.

-I cannot go with you beyond France, when are you expected to leave?

Orlena couldn´t say a word, so it fell on Philippe to respond.

-Next month.

Odette nodded and shut the door of her room, somehow the bartenders felt as if she was closing a door to something else as well.

The young ballerina sat on her bed and arranged the blue roses in the vase, put on a nightgown and stared at her reflection on the mirror.

She had grown taller since autumn, her skin had a new glow and her body was definitely that of a young woman… but her eyes had a new obscurity to them and it hung over her like a shadow, a gloom she wasn´t quite sure how it´d appeared but was there nonetheless, and she wondered if it was the dragon in her mind and her dreams, breaking finally free in the reality.

Her wavy hair reeked of rosesmell and it was in that moment more than any other, that she missed her old town, the flowershop, Hugo and Apolline, now coughing their lungs out.

She thought of Mérante, of his attractive face and elegant words, contrasting so much with her situation for she knew they could never stand as equals, he was a ballet legend and a promising master while she fought to have food on her plate everyday and tried to earn herself a place on stage in the Opera House.

So that night, the wolfmaid shut the door to her heart.

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The next weeks were spent in silence and dread, as if her whole world knew what was coming and decided to keep silent, a deep breath before a performance, the hushed stillness before the thunder.

Monsieur Kerloff recommended her for auditioning in the next Swan Lake presentation, and she assumed he wished her to postulate as the white swan, ironic life pushed her to be Odette in the play just as in reality. But when he asked for a pianist to rehearse the steps, Odette realized he wanted her to be the black swan, Odile.

-You don´t strike me as the sweet and innocent white swan, Odette- he said shrugging, -Now more than in winter, the melancholy I sense in your dance has become darker- he didn´t say it as a criticism or asking for explanations, and Odette thanked him for it, -That and your foolish refusal in starching your tutus makes you an interesting subject of study- his tone made the young ballerina feel like an animal in training, -I wonder if Vacourbeil would consider you for…-but his voice died in whispers as he snapped his fingers to indicate the pianist to start playing.

Truth was Monsieur Kerloff wanted Odette to be the next prima ballerina and somehow he felt August Vacourbeil had been biased to look in her direction by someone either very rich or very influential. But now that his young pupil had the Opera´s attention, he´d make sure it payed for it in gold and applause; for it may be Kerloff kept his nose out of his pupil´s personal life, but he noted the callosities in her hands and occasional bruises in her arms, typical in waitresses that carried a heavy weight for long periods of time. And that earned her his respect, never once she complained and always came back with perfected movements, almost like one of those persistent predators in the white forests, hunting under freezing winds and despise the odds, going back to their caves with a prey; in that light she was like a hungry beast, like a winter she-wolf. Her piercing blue eyes told a sorrowful story wherever they fixed and now the Christmas period was over, the lushly purple in them he once saw turned to a dusky gray, a gray colder than the clouds before a storm.

She was the black swan or she was no one at all.

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Odette finished packing her belongings in the trunk and made herself ready to go serving at the new Madame LeHautt´s café, a position Orlena had gotten for her before leaving for the new continent next week.

-She´s hiring lots of people- the bartender assured her when Odette retorted serving in a fancy café was way different than at a quaint tavern, -And she has no problem with you sleeping in the rooms in the upper part of the building since other girls do it as well.

But Odette knew she had no choice other than accepting and pretend everything was fine, news of Apolline and Hugo´s health had stopped arriving and she was getting frenetic, with no money to go back and check on them, and no money left if she managed to get there and call in for a physician.

Like many other things in her life, there was nothing she could do about it, so she let it pass as she let pass hundreds of opportunities to talk with Louis Mérante, she didn´t want his compassion much less his pity and what she did want from him was useless right now if she desired to fulfill her dream first.

The day Orlena and Phillipe left for the new state of York on the other side of the ocean, she felt so out of everything she could barely breathe; her heart so full of pain it kept her dragon clawing its curved speared-like nails along the spine´s fur of the wolf, exhausted and asleep in a corner.

Looking back, she felt as if both her friends were just ghosting around the harbor, the wood of the ship´s deck crackling their silent steps as they left French ground forever.

Odette bid farewell to their shouting and the waving of their arms but strangely, no tears left her eyes even though her soul felt as lonely as ever, because she sought and found only to be let down time after time.

She believed, if only for its sake while being torn in different pieces that scattered in the wind, like the snowflakes Hugo used to show her during winters. If only… if only… if only she was able to wrap herself in that hope to shine brighter than the flames that engulfed her parents, brighter than the black scales of the dragon or the yellow eyes of the wolf, for regardless of her fight there was so much she could do for herself. Her arms stopped waving goodbyes as the ship disappeared in the skyline and the crystal box Apolline had given her when coming back from her honeymoon slipped from her pocket and dove into waters as gray as Odette´s eyes shining with biting tears.

That night she dreamt with the blue roses covering the dressing room, their thorns keeping the dragon away, but it extended its huge wings and destroyed the roof allowing the silver moonlight to come in, a lion roared outside while the raging dragon breathed fire on the room, torching the entire building as the sky turned as red as blood and the blue rose petals rained on it all.

So beautiful she would´ve wept if her tears hadn´t already dried out, and so frustratingly tragic she could´ve unleashed her wrath to set the stars ablaze herself.

But all her sadness and all her anger bled into her dance, they both got her the black swan; Monsieur Kerloff was happy and she tried to be happy as well, but thought about the night Orlenna revealed she and her brother were leaving, when Odettesaid that if she ever achieved her dream there´d be no one to be glad with. And she had been right, her fingers were just grasping such dream and she was all alone.

But even when her new job required her undivided attention since her new boss was always on the verge of hysteria, Odette´s nature was not in surrendering, she wouldn´t let anything to come in between her and the prima ballerina´s position, not even when Mérante himself came to her to congratulate her on acquiring the part.

Or so she thought as she spotted his elegant silhouette heading towards her when they finished the last rehearsal for the day.

-Madame Odette…- he said, that deep husky tone that got the wolf licking her vertebrae.

-Monsieur Mérante... –she replied.

Louis compared the sound once more with the cracking of ice, chirping of needles breaking glass and silver bells stroking in Sunday mornings.

She was still the icy lovely maid he met in winter, panting because of the effort of her recent dancing, humanizing his memories of her and sending his head in distraction with the movement of her neck when breathing that caused the wolf necklace to flicker on her chest, or how she gave off that faint smell of roses.

Both were shivering but tried their best to conceal it, much for the entertainment of Beaumont, watching them from the pit.

Hello again!

Just finished the semester and got a new laptop, soooo sorry this took so long :(

Hope I can get it done before the end of January...

Seriously though, thank you all soooooo mcuh for giving this fic a chance! Love to have you all lovely people reading this and knowing you enjoy it really keeps me going.

Please let me know your thought on this new chapter to see if I haven´t gotten too off topic or too... whatever hahaha, though pls remember English is not my mother tongue... so it´ll be nice if you guys could help me detect grammar issues and stuff.

Now, replies to my reviewers with no accounts:

Guest I Here you go my love! :) Hope you enjoy it

Hermione Artemis I have every intention of doing it XD. Too bad my everyday life doesn´t agree as much, but as slow as i can be, I hope you still want to read this fic, thank you for your kind words ;)

Grand Java Thank you lovely! I seriously expect to have your feedback in this new chapter ;)

Gran Java 2 I know, I love both Odette and Mérante soooo much, they´re like MADE for each other, and I really wish this story and my writing to convey that.

Guest 2 Indeed it was a long time, fortunately we´re all still here. So I hope you still follow this and are able to tell me what you think XD. Love you!

Thank you so much for the support and beautiful follow/favorite clicks, you´re the best and what makes me want to continue the work.

Pls R&R!

Lots of love